Chapter 173

Listen

John Henry tried to piece together what happened with Cameron for the days she was 'missing'. He prepared a report for John. Cameron was there as well. She wanted to know what happened.

He explained to John and Cameron what he was able to uncover.

"They found the car you used in Colorado." John Henry said.

Cameron wondered why she was there in the first place.

"Have you found out what was there?" Cameron asked.

John Henry was not done checking everything yet.

"No." John Henry said.

John wondered how she slipped off the grid.

"Why couldn't we track her?" John asked.

Cameron frowned. Her actions bothered her.

"I must have done things to prevent that." Cameron said.

John Henry nodded.

"You did. You disabled the tracking devices, crushed your phone and splashed mud on the bumper and license plates." John Henry said. "You covered your face with a veil as well, that way nothing could track you."

John just shook his head.

Cameron did not like John's reaction. She focused on John Henry.

"So is that where I got on the train?" Cameron asked. "Did I get on in Colorado?"

Cameron wondered why she was in Colorado. Colorado was next to New Mexico, Kansas and Nebraska. Was she looking for the cave or bunker that held the other versions of herself from the future? Perhaps it held her chassis that she may have deactivated and 'replaced' to live her life over again as she went back in time. She felt she lived her life over again with John from the start. She was sure she'd done this multiple times.

"Evidently, you got on at a small rural stop." John Henry said. "That is where the car was recovered."

So far Cameron did not know anything new or helpful.

"When did I wreck the locomotive, the 'Cab Forward'?" Cameron asked. "I'm ashamed I did that."

It was not all bad news as far as the locomotive was concerned.

"It was two days later." John Henry said. "It was actually a newly constructed replica. The original AC-12 is still in the Sacramento Rail Museum. It is on display and undamaged."

That revelation made Cameron feel a little better. It seemed like there was still a missing day.

"That is some relief." Cameron said. "Where else did I get off?"

John Henry noted the time delay as well.

"We don't know." John Henry said.

Cameron tried to remember something additional. There was only one thing that clicked. It was a play on words that involved two cities in Nevada.

"I remember I heard someone say, 'Reno is so close to Hell that you can see Sparks'." Cameron said.

John Henry referenced that statement and then smiled to himself. Sparks Nevada was next to Reno Nevada. Reno was a gambling town often referred as 'The biggest little city in the world'.

"Maybe you got off there." John Henry said. "There were no 'casino incidents' reported. I am still going through the surveillance footage."

John did not want to dwell on the unknown. He knew that Cameron being where she was at saved a group people from death and injury.

"You saved a lot of lives by stopping the runaway train." John said. "That's something positive."

Cameron was still unsure how fate put her there but it did.

"How many people did I help?" Cameron asked.

The exact total was unknown as the conductor had not finished his ticket collection after the last stop. A number of skiers got on there.

"It was over one hundred and twenty that were reported." John Henry said.

Cameron really wondered if that was fate or mere chance that she was where she needed to be at the right moment. There was still one other thing that bothered her.

"What about the casino I was in by Lake Tahoe?" Cameron asked. "I hurt three people. I was going to terminate them if they came at me again. I WANTED to terminate them. I do remember that."

Cameron seemed to remember something similar but there were no files related to it.

"It seems the casino reported the entire incident as 'vandalism'." John Henry said. "Evidently they didn't want to have any 'events' they couldn't explain. I erased all the security footage. It was only the testimony of the three security officials they could go on and no one believed the story they told. "

"There was no footage of me?" Cameron asked. "I mean of some 'crazy' woman who became violent?"

John Henry smiled. He thought he'd handled it quite proficiently.

"I've eradicated all traces of everything that occurred there." John Henry said. "I have flooded all of them with misinformation."

That update seemed to make Cameron feel more disgusted with herself.

"So it is like it never happened, just like everything I do around here. I get people killed and it is just like it never happened. I try to manipulate people for my own ends. I never consider the means I use to achieve the ends. I never think of who I hurt or how. I try to win no matter what the cost is or the method used." Cameron said totally disgusted with herself.

John tried to stay out of the conversation as much as possible. He figured his contributions would only serve to upset Cameron further. It turned out John Henry said what he'd wanted to say.

"And in spite of all that you are the most respected, the most loved and the most desired individual here." John Henry said.

That statement did nothing to quell her fears.

"Why? I should be the most hated and despised." Cameron said. "People should see me the same way they see Mrs. Weaver. We are no different."

John Henry did not see it that way and he'd dealt with both Mrs. Weaver and Cameron.

"Apparently not." John Henry said.

Cameron could not understand why.

"Then what's different?" Cameron asked.

It seemed quite simple to John Henry.

"You are YOU and she is NOT." John Henry said.

Cameron's head tilted slightly as she tried to figure out what that statement actually meant.

Later on:

Gail approached John. She intercepted him in a remote part of the base. John was a little concerned that she popped up in that spot. There were no surveillance cameras around there.

Gail faced John and smiled at him.

John thought she looked beautiful when she smiled. She seldom did.

"I am aware that Cameron would like you to father a child or children with the three girls including Jesse." Gail said.

John wondered if this location was to keep Cameron from finding out the nature of the conversation. He did not know where this was going. Gail actually seemed 'happy'.

"That is Cameron's plan." John said. "That is not my plan."

Gail gently touched John's arm.

"I want that too for Jesse and for myself." Gail said. "I want that for the two of us."

That was a surprise to John. There were a few more on the way as well.

"Really?" John asked.

Maybe Cameron hadn't lied to him about what other people wanted as well. There appeared to be some truth to what she'd told him.

There was a look of great concern on Gail's face. She looked worried.

"Yes. It would help keep Jesse safe to be a mother here with Sarah and your sister, Jan." Gail said.

John only saw this level of concern from a Terminator for a human, in Cameron for him previously.

"Do you really love her as your life partner?" John asked.

Gail acted like the male Terminators most of the time. Right now she acted like Cameron did sometimes. There was a level of great seriousness to this request.

"I do, John." Gail said. "Please do this for me too. I can't watch her 'die' again. Cameron and I want conception done the traditional way. It can either be her alone or with me as the three of us together or four of us with Cameron. You may 'have' me too if you desire. I have never been with a male. I would welcome the 'experience' and would like to provide you with that honor. Cameron can be there instead of me with you two with Jesse or all four of us can share together. Whatever you feel comfortable with Jesse and I will do."

John could hardly believe all that was just said. That was a lot to take in and process. Now he understood Gail's reasoning to 'protect' Jesse as a mother. He would like to be with Jesse and he would like to be the first one to touch someone even if they were a machine. Gail was created as a Restorator so she'd never been under the control of Skynet. That meant she really should be 'untouched'. Future Riley was assaulted previously multiple times and Cameron believed Future John 'took' her in Future Allison's place, even though there were no files related to that. Future John erased most of Cameron's past.

"Did you run all of this by Cameron?" John asked.

John wanted to get everything straight.

Gail smiled.

"Yes, I asked for her permission and she granted it. She was very supportive of the idea." Gail said. "Now I'm asking for your permission, cooperation and assistance. It seems very straight forward."

Having dealt with Cameron on a personal level, he knew that humans and machines interpreted things or events differently at times. Then again so did people.

"It seems that way to…." John started as he searched for the words so he did not to seem offensive or derogatory. "…to non humans but we all have feelings too about things and each other. That is a really big step in the lives of everyone involved."

John knew the Terminators saw things from their perspective. That would make Jesse and him 'parents'. They would have a child together. He would be a father and he would have new responsibilities. It sounded as if Gail wanted to assume them from him. He may be just a sperm donor in reality. Still he would have been with Jesse and if he was it was going to be more than sex. There was going to be a certain amount of 'love' involved. It would probably happen if he was with Gail too. He could not help to stare at her giant breasts as they spoke. They somehow seemed even more prominent than usual. That may have been intentional to get his attention. It worked if it was.

"Cameron has made clear the struggles of the future, of a future, of different futures. I do understand." John said. "Cameron is my wife and I love her. I could NEVER watch anyone else touch her. It would literally kill me. I can understand now how my choosing the other Riley – Future Riley over her must have hurt her. I know I am supposed to be a great leader but I don't feel like one. I feel I can't even make my wife, the woman I love, happy. I KNOW what everyone wants me to do. I am not ready yet. I would be lying if I said the thought of everything everybody wants was not enticing or exciting. No matter what she says or wants, I believe I would hurt Cameron if I did any of those things. I know she will never get over my betrayal and rejection of her for Future Riley. I did it and I rubbed it in her face. I will forever pay for that transgression and stupidity. Cameron will never get past that - ever. I do not think she would get past other females in my bed, no matter what she says."

Gail did not see why any of this was a problem. Cameron wanted it, Jesse wanted it and she wanted it. Her files indicated John should want it too. He could have vast pleasure with Jesse's experience and the satisfaction of taking her innocence. He would forever be her 'first'.

"Please think about it." Gail said. "Jesse is very precious to me. You will be our future leader. It would be an honor to have you as the father of her children, OUR children. The future is more than about you and Cameron. Don't you understand she KNOWS this? Cameron is willing to 'sacrifice' for the future. You MUST protect our females, ALL of them. As you protect our future."

Gail paused and looked at John with total sincerity.

"Don't tell me…." John pleaded.

He knew what was coming next.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." Gail said.

John hung his head for a second.

"I said, don't say it." John said.

Gail walked up to him and held both of his shoulders as she looked directly into his eyes.

"YOU must accept your destiny. You MUST. Please, you have a heart, feel the pain and hurt for those of us who don't. Please talk with Cameron. Can't you see how you are 'terminating' her - killing her, by not doing as she ASKS? IF you truly love her you will LISTEN to HER. Hearing is not listening." Gail said with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Please, John, stop 'killing' Cameron. You will be the termination of her. Listen to her. She believes she has done ALL of this before."

John only saw Gail cry once before. That was when she was told Jesse – Duplicate Jesse was terminated. She chose self termination after that so they, no, HE deactivated her against her wishes.

John could hear Gail sobbing down the hall as she walked away.

John wondered IF Cameron really did live her life more than once. What did she KNOW that no one else did? Why was this obsession so important to her? It was as if someone life depended on it….

Listen To Me

I do not speak
To hear the melodious tones
Of my own voice
Or throw verbal stones

If I am saying something
It is important to me
What I am saying
Should need no apology

Dissemination can transpire in many ways
Communication need not be spoken
Sentiments, passions and affections
Should be cherished and not broken

Everything we do matters
Everyone, every person matters
When one chooses not to hear or listen
Everything cracks and soon shatters

My voice is my own
I know you can hear me
But do you ever really
Listen to me

Nobody