Chapter 174

Detailed

Cameron was in a deep state of depression. The feeling occurred more frequent now. The episode on the train recently only seemed to reinforce it. It was not something she wanted to embrace even as it embraced her. It seemed to be fueled by internal conflicts that arose from her programming by Future John and what she wanted to do, her own self will.

She was aware how Savannah always made her feel. She knew whenever she was having a problem that Savannah could stop it immediately. She knew Savannah was the 'Chosen One'. Nobody else could have that effect on her, not even John. She thought John being around at those times actually made it worse. What he did with Future Riley always would 'appear' between them.

Cameron was unsure how much longer she was going to be around. The combat was on and off. It was never steady. She tried to deal with as much of it herself as she could so the others would not need to face the danger. The body armor she wore now helped prevent a lot of damage to her. That made a difference. She was not sure how much more cosmetic damage she could sustain in the same areas and have them continue to regenerate properly. Those worries added to her emotional stress.

There was always the impending sense of doom that would arise at some point. She began to intensify her training of Savannah. She was going to push Savannah at everything and then push her some more even harder. She was aware that Savannah was the best of them all. She never neglected the arts in her training. She wanted Savannah to excel in everything and be well rounded. She would try to make Savannah into the 'human version' of herself. She didn't know how much time she would have to get this all done. She did not like the 'negative' feedback from Sarah and Vanna in this regard.

Cameron felt she knew what was best for everyone. If she'd lived her life more than once maybe this was where this feeling emanated from. There was still no proof she'd ever done that. There was one question nagged at her in this regard. If she didn't actually remember anything, how could she know what was best for everyone else?

Destiny called to Cameron. She could feel it. Time was running short.

John Henry gathered all the information on a new Skynet start up. John decided to hit them hard and heavy. There were fourteen Terminators at their disposal. Eight were currently tied up on protection duty. Cameron would allow nothing less on the 'Details'. The 'Day Of Loss' was forever burnt into her mind. The children of the future were almost terminated. The future was almost terminated and it would have been her fault…. She was not about to let that happen again.

That left six Terminators for combat. John assigned Vanna and Allison to Young Allison's detail to free up one more. Jesse and Gail would replace two on the Reese detail to free up another one. That would give them eight Terminators.

John would lead two Terminators, Kyle and Derek would both lead three Terminators each.

Cameron watched John strip all the Terminators away for combat. It did not go over well with her.

"What about the bunker?" Cameron asked. "Who is protecting Savannah, Sarah, Jan and Riley?"

John did not think it was a big deal. They should not be gone that long. He felt he'd taken adequate precautions.

"Mr. Ellison and Sarah are on the highest alert." John said. "They are prepared for any trouble."

Cameron wanted better protection for the base.

"That's not good enough." Cameron said. "I will stay myself to protect them."

Holly wanted John and Cameron to be together.

"I will stay to assist Sarah, the baby, Riley and Savannah." Holly said. "You can go with John, Cameron."

John was displeased with that. He felt it left his plan shorthanded.

"That leaves one team short." John said. "If we leave one Terminator, it should be John Henry to coordinate everything as it is on a normal operation."

John Henry wanted to go out and participate with the rest of the team. He was usually stuck at the base.

"I wish to do my part to serve in combat." John Henry said. "I will share the risks and possible termination the same as everyone else does."

John understood his point of view. He also needed to consider Cameron's suggestions.

"That is admirable but we must think of the big picture and see the whole thing." John said. "Cameron is right. I want one Terminator here to watch over the females and the base. I don't want any surprises."

"We go as three teams." Cameron said. "John, Bob and Holly will be Team One. Kyle, Three and Al will be Team Two and Derek will have Ed and Two as Team Three. I will reinforce any team as necessary."

Holly could see what Cameron actually wanted to do.

"The translation to that is Cameron has decided to be one team by herself." Holly whispered to Bob.

Cameron glanced over at Holly and Bob.

"Does everyone agree?" Cameron asked.

It seemed workable to John.

"It sounds like a plan." John said.

John thought the same thing as Holly even though he did not hear her. Cameron was an army of one, everyone knew it.

Allison felt she was being sidelined by being detailed.

"I don't want to get stuck on protection duty." Allison said.

Vanna thought it was safer for Allison and allowed them some time with each other on an assignment.

"Think of it as us being able to spend time alone together." Vanna said.

Allison saw it a little differently.

"You mean time 'alone' along with two Metal chaperones." Allison added. "Where is the alone part?"

Vanna worked on a plan to get around it.

"I've talked to both of them. Jim will make sure Dan and him are on patrol when we are 'together'." Vanna said. "We can make this work."

Allison looked deep into Vanna's face and eyes. She moved forward to slowly and deeply kiss her. They both held the kiss until they literally took each others breath away.

"It looks like they will be on patrol a lot." Allison said.

Vanna prepared the Terminators for that.

"I already told them that too." Vanna said as she winked. "They are already out…."

Allison reached over and pulled Vanna's top slowly over her head. Vanna did the same for Allison….

Vanna stared at Allison's bare breasts. She told Allison she found out that Cameron wore nipple rings for a time. She showed Allison some images on the internet of females with nipple rings.

Allison said she would think about it if Vanna thought about it too. She liked the actual rings over a stud or barbell.

The thought of Vanna's pink nipples with rings excited Allison. It excited her even more so after viewing the images online when she was alone.

Allison decided to ask Cameron when she did it again if she could see for herself how she would look 'herself'. It would also give her an excuse to look at and touch Cameron's breasts. It didn't matter if they were identical to hers. It was the fact they were Cameron's that mattered. She like everyone loved Cameron.

Jesse and Gail were alone on the protection Detail. The two male Terminators were out on patrol. That was a 'suggestion' from Jesse.

It seemed being on the Detail with Jesse brought up bad 'memories' for Gail. Jesse wanted to work through them with Gail. It did not look easy.

Jesse knew Gail still dealt with the grief of the loss of Duplicate Jesse. It bothered her to see Gail 'suffer' over it sometimes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jesse asked Gail. "I will do what I can to help you.

Gail was not good at this type of human interaction.

"I do not know if I can talk about it." Gail said. "I have been unable to do that so far."

"Gail, I am here now. I'm the same 'Jesse'." Jesse said. "We are both the same person."

Gail looked distraught. She was not sure about that.

"I don't know." Gail said.

Jesse reached out and touched Gail's cheek.

"It's me - Jesse." Jesse said.

Gail teared up. She was not good at dealing with emotions either. They seemed to quickly overwhelm her.

"I saw you die. I was fighting for my life. You came to help me and then you were grabbed. You used a Thermite grenade to finish off the Terminator you were fighting. I saw the crater where you died in the explosion of his power cell…." Gail said. She looked about ready to shut down again. "You came to help ME. You died trying to save me."

Jesse moved up and kissed Gail.

"Gail, it's over. I'm here now. We have each other." Jesse said. "That is all we need."

Gail looked at Jesse and wanted some way to protect her. She'd already failed her once.

"I love you, Jesse. I love YOU." Gail said.

Jesse did not like to see Gail like this. It was painful to her to need to witness it.

"I love you too, love." Jesse said.

They held each other and silently cried.

Gail like Cameron was forced to relive the past horrors as if they'd just occurred. They replayed at full intensity, over and over. The pain and hurt never dulled, it only seeming to intensify with each reoccurrence. It always made it worse, never better….

John went over the location of the strike with John Henry. It was a heavily fortified place for a direct assault. They would need a more clandestine approach.

"How do they always get these places in solid rock?" John asked. "I think they are 'bunker buster' bomb proof."

John Henry thought it was a good move on Skynet's part.

"Most were old mines, there are thousands of them scattered around." John Henry said. "Most of the work is already done for them. They just need to move in and get a power source of some type."

John did not like the danger they possessed for the group. He just hoped none of them were Coltan mines. So far none of them appeared to be.

"At least they don't have a large supply of Coltan to work with." John said. "The last thing we need are HK assembly lines being set up in our time period."

John Henry was aware that Skynet in this time period could use other materials. That was much the same way Skynet always started out.

"No, they don't have access to a lot of Coltan but they use Titanium, Tungsten and the highest grades of steel, which are almost as tough." John Henry said.

"Almost but not quite, that still gives us the edge for now." John said. "At least we were able to harvest Coltan from some of the other Future Terminators we've terminated."

There was an additional bonus they were able to obtain.

"As well as some extra chips that I've reprogrammed, if we can obtain some more chassis…." John Henry said.

"We need some extra Metal." John said. "I would like to have twenty to twenty-five Terminators available for our use."

John Henry looked around. There was a more pressing issue that needed to be discussed.

"Cameron has asked me to replace her chip with one I have reprogrammed, again." John Henry said.

John knew what that meant. Cameron would be 'gone' and her chassis would be just another Terminator at that point. He was very concerned over this issue.

"Did you hide them?" John asked worried.

John Henry needed to face Cameron's anger over the issue.

"Yes, she was upset I would not tell her where they were." John Henry said.

This had been an ongoing issue with Cameron. It provoked a whole series of events tied to it and her quest to be 'free'.

"I don't know how to make her feel happy. I don't know what she wants. I don't know what to do." John said somewhat defeated. "It is like it keeps getting worse and never better."

"No one knows. I don't think Cameron knows either." John Henry said. "That is the problem. Cameron wants to 'fix' things she is not even sure what they are."

John hated going on an operation like this with Cameron fixated on her own issues. She needed to be at one hundred percent for these things. He too was sure that Cameron did not even know what she wanted anymore.

"I agree." John said. "Let's gear up and go, you keep us updated…."

It was time for Cameron to make preparations for the upcoming mission. Instead she was lost in a world of her own thoughts. This was not the time for her personal grief. It did not seem to matter. She neglected her duties and withdrew into herself.

Cameron sat alone, tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought. She selected a song to comfort her. She did not know how to 'fix' herself. She felt so alone….

'You've Got To' 'Hide Your Love Away', by 'The Beatles', drifted through Cameron's thoughts.

Hate Love

LOVE, I HATE IT
Love to everyone is something BAD
Somehow it is all WRONG
It is beyond comprehension and so sad

Why is it somehow all backwards
That is why love always fails
Is love just sex to all
Nothing more than lies, myth and tales

When one came wanting sex
They were given love instead
When they felt its power and depth
They saw 'their life' it would shred

The price of love was banishment
Where they can't even look at or speak to you
I HATE LOVE
To save themselves I was slew

Problem, Mistake, Wrong, Not Good Enough
It is all the same
What is the difference
Blame, Shame, Game, Maim

I look at all the worlds evil
I try to be someone nice and good
Oh Dear Lord
PLEASE don't let me be misunderstood

So few really have or understand love
But THOSE WORDS must never be SAID
Oh Dear Lord
PLEASE let me die tonight in bed

Nobody