It was a high school production of William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. Hinata was a sophomore cast as an extra, while Nishinoya was a junior working on set design. The first time Hinata saw him, they were crossing the stage from either end—as Nishinoya walked by, Hinata immediately noticed was how short the other boy was. Still, there was something about him that drew Hinata's interest.

Perhaps it was how broad the boy's shoulders were for his height. Maybe it was how he usually kept quiet around others, but when he spoke, it would be so that others found him profoundly insightful or witty. Then Hinata realized it was the way Nishinoya focused on certain things—his eyes seemed to light up with an infallible determination whenever he was assembling frames or painting backdrops.

Hinata fell hard for Nishinoya, though he was too shy to strike up a conversation. Instead, he kept an avid lookout for the boy—if they were ever in the same place at the same time, in the hallways or on the school field, Hinata was content to admire him from afar.

It had been almost three years since Hinata had last him. Hence, how irrevocably crushed Hinata was to find Nishinoya sitting on a stool him next to him, rubbing his back as he puked into the toilet.

"There you go." Nishinoya comforted.

Fortunately for Hinata, he made it to the bathroom right before he could make a mess all over the apartment floor. Though as he stumbled into the room, he didn't have the sense to close the door behind him—concerned for the boy's well-being, Nishinoya had followed him in.

"Look at you, future paramedic."

Judging from the voice, Hinata guessed it was Azumane. He was too preoccupied to see who it was for himself.

"Do you want to do this?" Nishinoya teased.

"That's okay, I think you got him."

Hinata then heard another voice. "What's happening here? Oh, Hina-chan! You guys can go ahead, I got him."

The voice was followed by the patter of footsteps treading on the bathroom tile, and the boisterous revels outside muffled by a closing door.

"Just let it all out, you'll feel better." Sugawara soothed.

The two boys stayed in the bathroom for some time, with Sugawara continuing to rub the boy's back while humming along to the music reverberating through the walls.

When he finished relieving himself, Hinata stood up to reacquaint himself with the sensation of balancing on his own two feet. He found the dizziness had subsided, though a throbbing headache had taken its place—one that got worse when he looked up at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. Hinata complained to Sugawara, and the latter fetched him some Tylenol, a glass of water, and a cup of mouthwash. Hinata consumed the items.

"You feeling better?" Sugawara asked the boy after he had spat out the mouthwash.

"Yes I am, thank you. And I'm sorry this happened, I—

"It's fine," Sugawara assured. "You know, at my first party, I ended up puking in someone else's cup? Lucky for you, you had Nishinoya to help you out."

Hinata smiled weakly. "Do you know him?"

"Nope. I just met him tonight. Why? Do you?"

"He was…one of my old high school crushes."

Sugawara's eyes widened. "Really? You never talked about him. He's...kind of short."

"Yeah, I know."

"Were you guys friends before?"

Hinata shook his head.

"Did you ever talk to him?"

"Once, but briefly," Hinata replied. "I don't think he remembers me at all."

"Oh. Is he gay?"

Hinata let out a defeated sigh. "He dated a girl back in high school."

Sugawara paused to read between the lines. "You're feeling nervous around though him, aren't you?"

Hinata nodded silently. "He also knows Rina and Tanaka, so I'll probably be hanging with him a lot."

The other boy crossed his arms, contemplating. As he did, Sugawara noticed Hinata's head begin to droop towards the ground—the sight broke his heart a little. Sugawara drew in a deep breath to sober himself.

"Well, this party's big enough for the two of you, right? If anything, you can hang with me and Daichi. At the same time, you've done so well meeting my friends...I'd leave you alone like a kid on his first day of Kindergarten—and then I come back, and everyone thinks you're amazing. How's this Nishinoya kid any different?"

Hinata's head perked up. "People said that?"

"No, I'm saying it now," Sugawara teased. "But I'm sure people think so—that's how I felt when I first met you."

Hinata smiled. Sugawara pulled the boy in for a hug.

"Thanks, Suga."

"No problem, Hina-chan."

That was when Hinata's phone buzzed. The boy pulled back to retrieve the item from his pocket—he opened it to find one unread message from Rina:

Still running late. Be there in 20!

Hinata showed the text to Sugawara.

"Alright, did you text them my buzzer code?" The older boy asked.

"I did."

"Alright. Did you want to hang out with me and Daichi until they get here?"

Hinata paused to think on the offer. While he appreciated it, he wasn't sure he could physically handle the being at the party. Though, more concerning to him was how Azumane and Nishinoya were around—Hinata wasn't ready to confront them yet over the whole vomiting ordeal.

Hinata then ventured to ask, "Can I wait for them out front?"

Sugawara sighed. "Yeah, that's okay. Here, let me get your coat."

Sugawara left the bathroom, returning shortly with Hinata's parka. Moments later, Hinata was out of the bathroom himself, brushing through groups of partygoers on his way to the door. In the corner of his eye, he caught Azumane and Nishinoya on the sofa, talking with each other—he looked away as he donned his boots and made his escape.

...

When Hinata stepped outside the building, he discovered the city had been covered in a glistening blanket of snow. He observed the lights on in the windows of neighboring apartment buildings and heard the sounds of distant traffic carried by the gentle wind. Aside from these, there were no other signs of life except that which confirmed his own existence—his breath condensing into fog before his eyes, in the cold winter air.

Hinata was once again all alone.

He began reflecting on the rollercoaster ride that had been his time at the party so far. He found it no small feat that he was able to find the fun in meeting new people, though whatever pride he gleaned from it was dimmed by one fateful mishap with a ghost from his past. Hinata could have walked ten minutes down the road and arrive at his dorm, but he would not bail when Rina and Tanaka were still on their way. He tried seeing their arrival as something worth being excited about, but having been abruptly sobered from all the vomiting, he could feel his inhibitions bearing down on him once again.

Hinata inhaled deeply, inviting the cold air to relax him. As he pondered, he didn't notice that someone else had stepped outside.

"Hey there."

Hinata turned around, startled to find it was Nishinoya.

"I was talking with Sugawara," the boy continued, "and he mentioned you were feeling a little embarrassed about what happened?"

"Yeah…I am." Hinata admitted. "Did he ask you to find me?"

"No, actually, I just came down to get some fresh air. Plus, my only friend other than Azumane decided to bail the party, so…"

Nishinoya smiled warmly, and Hinata's unease began to soften at the sight of it.

"Thanks for helping me back there," Hinata replied, "I'm sorry that you had to put up with me that way."

"It's fine, I'm just glad you're okay. I won't mention it again if you won't."

"Deal. And no, I'm not bailing. I'm just waiting for some friends to arrive."

"That's cool...mind if I join you?"

Hinata hesitated, thinking back on his initial reasons for stepping outside. Still, he reasoned the least he could do for the boy who helped him was to let him stick around.

"Not at all."

Nishinoya smiled before walking over closer until they were standing side-by-side, staring at the empty street.

"How did you meet them?" Nishinoya asked.

"I'm sorry?"

"Your friends? How did you come to know them?"

"We went to the same school…me, Rina, and Tanaka." Hinata figured Nishinoya might as well know they were coming if he would be there to see their arrival.

"Tanaka?" Nishinoya replied in disbelief. "You mean Tanaka Ryunosuke?"

"Yep, that's him."

Nishinoya's face lit up. "He was my best friend back in high school. Is he still dating Rina?"

"He is."

The other boy chuckled. "I'm surprised they are. They seem…how would I put it…"

"Different?" Hinata offered.

The two boys glanced at each other before they both chuckled. It was evident to anyone who knew the smallest bit about them back in high school—while Rina was hard-working, diligent, and generally liked by her peers, Tanaka had a reputation for being loud, brutish, and seemingly lacking in intelligence compared to the average person his age. In fact, Hinata was shocked when Rina first told him that she and Tanaka were dating.

Nishinoya continued, "She seems smart. You know, Tanaka once got pulled off the wrestling team failing too many classes? Then Rina helped him study, and he ended up getting back on the team."

"Yeah, she told me."

"I've always wondered what she got in return."

"He…supported her in trying new things."

"Really? Like what?"

"She always wanted to try out for rugby but was too scared to. Tanaka encouraged her, and she ended up making the team. He also helped her get into prom committee through some of the connections he had."

"Rugby, eh?" Nishinoya smirked. "Maybe the two aren't so different after all."

Hinata smiled warmly.

Nishinoya continued, "What about you, are you seeing someone?"

"No, I'm not," Hinata confessed.

"Have you ever dated anyone?"

"No, I haven't."

"What? A charmer like yourself?" Nishinoya teased. "What's your type?"

"I…actually, I don't know."

"Wait," Nishinoya replied in disbelief, "how can you not know?"

"I…"

Hinata turned to Nishinoya—the boy's furrowed brow made it evident he expected at least a half-serious answer. Hinata was tempted to shrug the question altogether until he remembered the first words Sugawara had given him when he arrived at the party: Just be yourself.

"I…kinda just came out."

"Came out?" Nishinoya replied. "Like, out of the closet?"

"Yep."

"Well, I'm happy for you," Nishinoya answered, his voice deepening to express his sincerity. "Though, I don't get how it explains why you don't know if you have a type."

"I mean, don't you need to date people to know what your type is? If you look at Rina, she didn't know she'd end up with someone like Tanaka, but she did. I didn't date in high school because I wasn't ready to come out. I'm out now, but I'm behind on the whole dating thing. So no, I'm not sure what my type is."

Nishinoya nodded. "I can't imagine how tough high school was for you. Still, I'm glad you're comfortable enough to be open about it now."

"Thanks. It wasn't that so bad. I had Rina—she never made it seem like a big deal that I didn't want to talk about girls." At that moment, Hinata realized he was perhaps sharing more than he wanted. He cleared his throat before flipping the question back to Nishinoya. Though Hinata already knew the answer—he was simply curious to hear it from the boy himself.

"What about you? Have you ever dated anyone?"

"Yeah, just once. It was in high school, and her name was Mizuki. Tanaka found out through a friend that she was into me, and he insisted I ask her out. So I did."

"Why'd you guys break up?"

"She realized I wasn't into her. Then she dumped me."

"But..why did you stay it in if you didn't like her?"

"I've asked myself that a lot. Maybe I just wanted to give it a chance? Maybe I was scared to break up? I don't know."

At that moment, Nishinoya towards Hinata so that he was looking at him directly. "Hinata, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's up?"

Nishinoya then drew in a long breath as if to steady himself. "I recognized you when I walked into the party. You were that boy at Mizuki's junior prom—you handed me that mask, and we talked for a bit? Later that night, I was at the photobooth with Mizuki, and I saw you standing with Rina. Then a moment later, you were gone..."

"Did I? I don't remember—

"...why did you storm off that night?"

Hinata was stunned. He didn't think Nishinoya had seen him run away, let alone remember that it ever happened.

"W-why does it matter to you?"

"Well...up until tonight, I thought it was because you were jealous of me for being with her. But now I figure that wasn't the case...was it?"

Hinata held his tongue—it was too late to steer the conversation. His immediate instinct was to step back, but as he did, Nishinoya would step further towards him. It wasn't until Hinata felt the heel of his boot hit the with the stair that led up to the apartment entrance, that he stopped retreating. Nishinoya moved closer, his face obscured by the dim light until there was no space between them.

Then, without awarning, Hinata felt a hand clasp around his. Nishinoya leaned in towards him, holding his lips an inch away from his own.

Hinata struggled to think clearly with his heart pounding in his chest—his mind was still trying to grasp what was occurring. He had fantasized countless times about what those lips felt like. He began moving towards Nishinoya, wanting to satisfy his curiosity. Yet with each millimeter he gained, the more Hinata began to hesitate.

It had taken months for Hinata to get over his infatuation with Nishinoya. Those were months Hinata suffered alone, well before he came out to Rina—the pain of it remained as undulled by time as did his desire to feel that kiss. Even at that moment, being so near to the boy's lips, and all of his once-buried affections for him erupting within him, threatening to sweep him off his feet, Hinata could not reconcile with his grief. With all his might, Hinata began to pull away.

"Why did you come downstairs?" He asked solemnly.

"I…" Nishinoya pondered out loud. No other words followed.

"Wait, are you…gay?"

Nishinoya startled backwards. "Let's just drop it."

"Nishinoya, what was that?"

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to figure it out."

Hinata's eyes widened. "So, you were just gonna use me like that? To sort it out?"

"I'm sorry, Hinata," Nishinoya exasperated, turning away from Hinata's gaze. "The last time I didn't know what I wanted, someone got hurt."

Hinata bit his lip, struggling to hold back his anger. "You mean Mizuki?"

The other boy nodded.

Hinata began to chuckle mournfully. "I got hurt too. That's why I ran. I saw you and her together, and I got so jealous. I don't know why I did—I've seen you two around at school before. It didn't hit me until that night at prom. I got angry at myself for feeling so jealous, and for having let it drag on for so long."

Nishinoya's voice began trembling. "I-I'm sorry I put you through that." When he looked up at Hinata, he could see tears were welling in his eyes.

Hinata dismissed the apology. "Who else knows?"

"No one. I don't know who else to talk to."

"What about Tanaka?"

"I can't," Nishonoya replied. "You don't know him like I do. And even if I could tell him, or anyone else, I don't even know if I should. I'm scared of getting it wrong...but I'm also afraid of being right. I hate that I feel that way, but I do. It's pathetic."

A silence passed between them, as Hinata was fought to contain the urge to yell at Nishinoya, to tell him to find someone else to be his guinea pig. But Hinata just stood there, glaring at him, wishing the other boy would do something, anything, to affect the mood between them.

That was when Hinata began to see Nishinoya clearly, and the expression of shame and sorrow in his eyes. In his mind, Hinata recognized that look. It was the same one he had been hiding his entire life when he realized he was different—that was until he met Rina and Sugawara, friends he never asked for but felt blessed to know. Hinata didn't know Tanaka that well—perhaps Nishinoya was right for not wanting to confide in him, or maybe he could and just wasn't comfortable yet. Hinata didn't know the answer, but he knew enough of how the boy felt—to be so fearful and disgusted by who you might become, of something you never asked to be.

And as Hinata surrendered towards empathy, he allowed himself to feel every emotion that he had ever felt for Nishinoya—from the infatuation to the grief, Hinata found the common thread between it all: once, he had cared greatly for Nishinoya.

Hinata stepped towards him, reaching his hand out in the dark until his hand could clasp around Nishinoya's fingers. Hinata then leaned in with a solemn steadiness that betrayed neither lust or pity, placing his lips delicately on the spot below Nishinoya's cheekbone. Hinata held it there long enough to show he cared for him, and deeply, knowing it might be the last time he would ever do this—the fact pained him so, though he found what comfort he could in the warmth that emanated from Nishinoya's cheek. Hinata then stepped back as glacially as he swept in.

"It's okay," he replied mournfully. "It doesn't make you any less of a person."

That was when they heard a voice other than their own.

"Whoa, what do we have here?"

Nishinoya pulled his hand out of Hinata's grasp and turned to face the source of the voice—it was an older boy, wearing a tattered green parka, accompanied by another boy obscured by the dark, clad in a black puffer jacket. The two strangers approached Hinata and Nishinoya, giggling menacingly like hyenas stumbling upon wounded prey.

"A couple of fags out tonight?" The boy in the parka mocked.

"What's your problem?" Hinata asserted. He stepped forward, only to be blocked by Nishinoya stretching his arm out to stop him.

Then the boy in the parka began charging towards them, and Nishinoya rushed to place himself in front of Hinata. The stranger then grabbed Nishinoya, shoving him backwards until he had fallen into a snowbank. The stranger fell on top of him, pinning Nishinoya to the ground.

"Get off of him!" Hinata yelled, as Nishinoya helplessly tried to kick the attacker off of him. Hinata was too slow to react to the other stranger who ran in to grab from behind. Hinata tried wrestling out of threshold, but could not break free.

"I thought you guys liked it a little rough." The boy in the parka mocked, leaning forward to shifting more of his weight onto Nishinoya. The latter gasped for air.

"Hey, dickwads!"

Hinata looked towards where the voice had come from—it was Rina and Tanaka approaching them from the street. The boy in the parka had heard them and looked up to see Rina first.

"What's this? You're gonna make her fight for you?!"

He then lifted up Nishinoya and slammed him violently into the snow, before getting up to march towards Rina. She held her ground, unfazed.

The boy in the parka reached to put his hand on her shoulder—at the moment of contact, Rina grabbed the hand and twisted it forcefully. The stranger stumbled forward, screaming in pain, and Rina used the momentum to turn in towards the boy's body and shove her knee into his groin. The blow connected, and the boy fell to the ground face first. Rina continued to hold the stranger's hand above his body while she dug her foot into his back to keep him lying on the ground.

"I can take care of myself," Rina remarked.

At that moment, Hinata felt the hold on him suddenly release—the other stranger began walking towards Rina when he was cut off by Tanaka.

"I wouldn't try doing that if I were you," Tanaka taunted.

Tanaka began walking forward with his chest puffed out and head held high, like a wolf asserting its dominance. The stranger walked backwards, falling into the snow. He then glanced at Tanaka standing above him, and his accomplice pinned to the ground—realizing they had lost, he ran away.

"Your friend's a smart boy," Rina mocked. "Maybe you should get lost too."

The boy in the parka said nothing. He tried squirming his way out of the hold, though Rina countered the effort by twisted his arm further, making any attempt at escape too painful to bear.

"So what about it, jackass?!"

"Alright!"

And with that, Rina threw his arm back to him—the boy in the parka fled into the night.

…

When they got into the elevator, Rina and Tanaka began asking the boys what had happened.

Hinata was about to speak up when Nishinoya interjected him.

"We were just hanging out," Nishinoya explained, "and they decided to come after us. We don't know why they did."

Hinata offered no other words.

"Well, I'm glad we got there in time," Tanaka replied. "You alright, Hinata?"

The boy nodded wordlessly, chastened by the ordeal.

Moments later, they were back at the party. Rina and Tanaka introduced themselves to Sugawara and Daichi, and they informed them of what had happened outside the apartment building.

Sugawara made a scene when he brushed through the other partygoers to embrace Hinata and ensure he was alright. Azumane had witnessed this and approached Daichi to ask what had happened. Daichi told the relayed the story, which prompted Azumane then checked in Nishinoya. The boy calmly shrugged off any concern or pity that the former had, stating that he didn't want the mishap to ruin the party.

Thus the night progressed as if nothing had happened.

Hinata and Nishinoya remained distant from each other, only addressing each whenever they were conversing within a larger group. In those brief moments of contact, Hinata could see the once-determined look Nishinoya's eyes begin fraying at the corners—it was evident that tonight's charade was particularly taxing for him. He knew why Nishinoya had done it—if Hinata had taken the chance in the elevator to speak first, he would have given the same recount to protect Nishinoya's secret.

Still, he couldn't but blame himself for what happened. He thought that if he hadn't gone in for that kiss, perhaps it wouldn't have provoked the altercation. As much as Hinata regretted the kiss, he thought of how warm Nishinoya's cheek had felt—he longed to know what it would feel like to have that same warmth holding him and comforting him there and then.

All Hinata could do was appear as disaffected by it as possible. He was sitting with Rina when he looked up to scan the room—Nishinoya was at the far corner with Azumane and Tanaka.

"Hey, are you alright?" Rina asked.

Hinata had not heard the question. The only thing he could process was how far away he was from Nishinoya—and how much the distance pained him once again.