Dear wassupmano,

I wanted to dedicate this to you for always reviewing this story—especially with regards to your comment about allowing myself time to write the best I can. It meant a lot, and I want you to know that I'm always excited to read what you have to say.

Kindly,
ApolloThirteen

Nishinoya didn't sleep much the night before Tanaka's engagement party—his mind had been racing with such excitement over getting to seeing Hinata.

Over the four hours of shut-eye he could get, Nishinoya had a dream: he was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, while Hinata was behind the wheel, driving on an empty freeway that meandered through forests and canyons. Nishinoya didn't know where they were going, nor could he recall Hinata's face with much clarity, but what he did remember was the feeling of being next to him—he felt safe.

Nishinoya was awoken by the shrill ringing of his alarm clock. As annoyed and exhausted as he was, he forced himself out of bed to fix up some breakfast and coffee before setting himself on several outstanding chores. He then spent an hour mining his closet for whatever outdated clothes would be most suitable for a barbecue/engagement party. He settled on a navy blue short-sleeved button-up with a white chevron print, and a pair of light grey chinos. With his attire decided, he then showered, brushed his teeth, and got dressed. After finishing his hair, he threw on a pair of white canvas sneakers that were modestly clean. Moments later, he was out of the apartment and in his car—a blue 2012 Subaru Forester.

The engagement party took place in Rina's parent's house, which resided in a town roughly an hour's drive east. Nishinoya visited the area every so often with his mother to shop at the malls. Aside from such, the town was mostly farmland with pockets of quiet suburbs occupied by retired folks—including Rina's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Akiyama.

Nishinoya arrived at six o'clock, parking on the curb behind a line-up of other vehicles that announced the number of guests he could expect so far. He walked up to the entrance and knocked—Tanaka opened the door, wearing a dark green button-up and black shorts.

He greeted, "Hey, Noya!"

Tanaka then ushered the boy inside. The house was modestly large, boasting a few high ceilings with elaborate cornice work, wooden floors, and an elegant spiral staircase. The two boys walked down the main hallway, past the stairs, and into the kitchen. The room had been bustling with delightful aunties chatting away while dismembering vegetables, seasoning meats, and sorting things into foil trays. Tanaka introduced Nishinoya to those present, including Rina's mother, two of her aunts, and one of Tanaka's.

Tanaka then escorted Nishinoya through a glass sliding door at the back of the kitchen, which led outside onto a wooden deck, where several other adults had congregated, with drinks in hand. At the far end of the deck were two monstrous propane grills attended to by two older men. Nishinoya recognized one of them as Tanaka's father—a short, stout man known for his peculiar laugh where he made noise as he inhaled rather than exhaled. The other man, Mr. Akiyama, was taller by comparison, with grey hair and thin lips. Upon Tanaka introducing them, Nishinoya found Mr. Akiyama to be awfully polite.

"Ah, so you're one of the groomsmen!" Mr. Akiyama greeted. "Nice to meet you! Would you like a drink? Please, help yourself!" He then gestured to a cooler that sat nearby, and Nishinoya went over to it, grabbing himself a Heineken.

"So, where are the rest of your groomsmen?" Mr. Ryunosuke asked his son.

"They'll be here soon," Tanaka replied.

"Aish. How can you expect them to be on time for the wedding if they can't be punctual for a barbecue?"

Mr. Akiyama suppressed a giggle. Tanaka bit his lip, quickly pulling Nishinoya away from the older men and towards a set of stairs that led off the deck. Stumbling upon the rest of the backyard, Nishinoya's first impression was how the scene felt like something directly out of a renovation catalog. At the landing of the steps was a patio with several tables set out, shaded in yellow parasols. Beyond the patio was a pool where kids were splashing about in the late-afternoon sun, chaperoned by adults standing around in brightly colored polos and knee-cut dresses. Surrounding the entirety of the yard were several raised garden beds encased in orange bricks, followed by a tall wooden fence that completely obscured the neighboring lots. Beyond the back of the property, Nishinoya could see trees towering gracefully, yet formidably, over the perimeter—according to Tanaka, the trees marked the edge of a nature reserve several miles in that direction.

"So yeah, this is it," Tanaka said. "There's food in the kitchen, drinks on the deck. Activities will be announced throughout the evening, and Rina wants everyone to know that participation is highly encouraged."

Nishinoya nodded, clearing his throat. "That's great, thanks for inviting me. Is umm…is Hinata here?"

"I haven't seen him yet. He should be arriving soon, though." With that, Tanaka checked his watch before excusing himself to run back into the house.

Nishinoya took a seat at one of the tables on the patio, where he enjoyed his beer alone. Occasionally, he drew in a deeper breath, allowing his lungs to taste the air as it filtered through the woods beyond. Eventually, a girl came by to introduce herself: a young woman named Kanoka who had apparently gone to university with Rina. They conversed, though Nishinoya struggled to give the bare minimum of attention required—his mind, dulled by the lack of sleep from the night before, kept stubbornly drifting towards the anticipation of Hinata's arrival.

Tanaka returned half an hour later, rushing to stand behind Nishinoya.

"He's here," he whispered, gesturing towards the deck.

Nishinoya immediately looked up—despite the number of guests that stood there, he managed to see the glass doors to the kitchen sliding away, followed by a mess of orange hair bobbing into the crowd.

"Hinata! Nice to see you!" Mr. Akiyama greeted.

"Hey, Mr. Akiyama!"

Nishinoya turned towards Tanaka. "He's close with Rina's parents?"

"Yeah, they helped him through some tough times a few years back," Tanaka explained. "He's doing much better, and Rina's parents now treat him like an adopted son."

Nishinoya's eyes continued to earnestly track the head of orange hair, barely floating above the crowd towards the stairs leading off the deck. There, on the steps, Hinata appeared in full, wearing a white collarless linen shirt, khaki green shorts, and brown loafers. The boy seemed a little taller, and he had put on a bit of muscle around his shoulders and calves—ultimately, Hinata was just as attractive as when Nishinoya had seen him at Sugawara's party three years ago.

"Oh, crap," Tanaka cursed.

Nishinoya was so enamored by seeing Hinata, it was a crueler revelation to notice Hinata was holding the hand of another boy. This boy, who Nishinoya did not recognize, looked to be about the same age as Hinata, though a little taller, with short black hair, and a face that looked rather serious yet handsome in its own regard. He wore a black polo that neatly hugged his broad shoulder line, tucked into a pair of immaculate white pants and brown leather boat shoes. Hinata continued to hold the boy's hand until he had escorted him down down the steps. The two then took a moment to survey their surroundings.

Nishinoya felt a pang in his chest—as though his heart had plunged through his rib cage and into the pool nearby. He was startled when two firm hands grabbed his shoulders, spinning him around until Hinata and the rest of the party was out of view, and only Tanaka appeared before him.

"Don't panic," Tanaka assured.

"Wait, w-who's he?"

"I have no clue. I think that's his plus one."

"His plus one?"

"Yeah."

"Aww, they look so cute together!" Kanoka remarked, having also turned towards the object of her peers' curiosities.

"You're not helping," Tanaka rebuffed.

A scream then pierced the air. "Tanaka?! Honey? Where are you?"

"Crap," Tanaka said. "Alright, Noya. I'll be back for you, okay? We're gonna figure this out somehow. Just try and enjoy yourself."

…

Nishinoya dawdled around the edges of the pool, occasionally stealing glances at Hinata and his date. As much as Nishinoya didn't want to believe it, he admitted the two boys indeed did look cute together. He stared on bitterly, further crazed by sleeplessness, taking more generous sips from his beer. He contemplated whether he should go up and introduce himself—though the more Nishinoya pondered what to say, the more incredulous he sounded in his head.

"Hey, Hinata, it's been a while…Yeah, I'm sorry I tried to kiss you that one time…Well, it turns out I also like men. Who knew?"

Nishinoya continued to grit his teeth, fighting the urge to cry and push Hinata's apparent beau into the pool.

Sometime later, one of Rina's aunts announced the first game—an easter egg hunt, where the eggs were replaced with cheap plastic rings to match the theme of the party. The guests in the yard excitedly took to investigating their immediate surroundings, looking under chairs and within the garden beds. With everyone distracted, Nishinoya made his exit towards the house to avoid any unwarranted encounters with Hinata or his plus one. He found sanctuary in the bathroom, which happened to be on the second floor of the house, and had a window that overlooked the backyard. He spent several minutes looking through, spectating the game, and watching guests yell enthusiastically whenever they found a new trinket.

After the contest had ended, Rina stepped out onto the deck, wearing a white maxi dress with yellow florals. She then thanked everyone for coming to the party before declaring that dinner was ready.

At that moment, Nishinoya heard a frantic knock at the bathroom door—he opened it to find a young boy with his knees trembling and a dire expression on his face. Nishinoya took to vacating the space for the poor boy and walked downstairs to the ground floor. Dismayed at the thought of returning to the party, Nishinoya took to girding himself with another sip from his bottle before realizing it was empty. It then became all the more tempting to go outside, to get a refill and partake in the abundance of food he saw the aunties prepare—despite such, it was Hinata's presence that trumped everything. Nishinoya resigned to staying indoors.

Across the foot of the staircase where Nishinoya had been standing was the living room, where a few older guests remained to escape the heat outdoors. They sat on one of two leather sofas surrounding a cream-colored rug and a glass coffee table—Nishinoya took a seat on the larger of the two couches, facing a bay window with a view of the neighborhood street. He sat quietly, unregarded by the other guests conversing among themselves until he was joined several minutes later by an older woman he didn't know. She was thin in build, wearing a snug white dress and a few intricate pieces of jewelry around her wrist and neck. Her makeup was noticeably a shade lighter than her neck, and her hair was set in elaborate curls. As absorbed as he was in self-pity, Nishinoya near-instantly forgot her name when she introduced herself, though the woman took asking him about his relationship with the recently engaged couple. Nishinoya divulged he was a friend of Tanaka from high school.

"Oh, that's nice!" The woman replied, her smile beaming with fluorescent white teeth. "You seem like a nice boy. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Beg your pardon?" Nishinoya said nervously.

"You know, my daughter looks to be about your age. She works in finance."

Nishinoya continued to smile politely. He was about to lie and say he was already in a relationship when he noticed someone walking towards him—a girl with blonde hair cropped in a bob, holding two beer bottles in either hand. Nishinoya almost hadn't recognized her from all the times she picked up Tanaka from school.

"Babe," The girl declared, squeezing every drop of affection she could from the word so that it sounded corny. "We gotta go. I need to show you something."

The older woman looked puzzled. "Oh, I'm sorry. Have we met?"

"Nice to meet you," the girl replied. "I'm Saeko, Nishinoya's girlfriend." She then gestured Nishinoya to follow her before leaving the room the way she came. The boy then stood up and did as instructed. Walking away, he was as embarrassed as the older woman was appalled—both were struck by the comically apparent difference in height and age between him and Tanaka's older sister.

…

"So, Noya. It's been forever, hasn't it?" Saeko asked, offering Nishinoya one of the two beers in her hands. The boy accepted it, before clinking the bottle against the other in Saeko's hand and taking a sip.

Saeko had led Nishinoya back through the hallway and into a room near the foot of the main staircase. The room itself appeared to serve as a study, as noted by a glass desk at the far end and several bookcases standing against the adjacent walls. In the middle of the room was a reading chair, upholstered in luxurious brown leather, sitting on top of a black polyester rug.

"Nice seeing you again," Nishinoya replied. "I didn't realize we were dating."

"Come on, let me have my fun. Too many aunties and uncles are using this party to get me hitched to their sons. Let me be your beard, and you can be mine." She then took another sip from her bottle before continuing. "Anyways, Tanaka told me to find you. He briefed me on what's happening with you and that boy."

As if the mere mention of his name had summoned him, the doors to the study swung open, and Tanaka stepped inside. "Thanks for getting him, sis," he greeted before shutting the doors behind him. "I hate to break it to you, Noya, but the guy Hinata came with hasn't left his side for a second."

"Where have you been?" Saeko asked, tone tinged with annoyance.

"Rina's mom won't stop introducing me to all her friends."

Unfazed by his answer, Saeko paced dauntingly towards her younger brother. "Did you seriously stoke Noya up about seeing Hinata?"

"Okay, maybe a little," the boy admitted meekly. "Look, I didn't know he'd be coming with someone. I asked Rina about it, and she won't say anything."

Saeko sighed before her eyes turned towards Nishinoya. "Alright, so you like this Hinata kid?"

Nishinoya gulped. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"You guess...?"

"I-I…It's a long story. We go back a few years, and he's been on my mind ever since."

Saeko stood there, arms folded, as unimpressed as she was by Tanaka's excuse for his absence. "I hate to break it to you kid, but being obsessed like that isn't romance. Believe me, I've had guys who worshipped me in secret, and I ended up feeling nothing." As she spoke, Saeko walked further into the room, taking a seat in the brown leather reading chair. "In any case, real romance is messy. You gotta get yourself in there, and most times, your crush isn't going to wait for you to make a move."

"Sis..." Tanaka mumbled. "Can you not do that?"

"Do what?"

"Sit there. This is Rina's dad's office. That's his chair."

Saeko reluctantly stood up and walked back towards the front of the room. "I wasn't going to spill anything."

"That isn't the first time you've said that," Tanaka muttered before turning to his old high school friend. "But yeah, Noya, sometimes you gotta just make it happen."

"But what if Hinata and that guy are dating?" Nishinoya rebuffed.

"I don't think they are—otherwise, Rina would have brought it up. And if they are, it hasn't been for very long. Plus, I don't think Hinata is the type to be offended if you just told him how you felt about him." Tanaka then turned towards Saeko. "What about it, sis?"

"Seems like you're asking for trouble. But, hey, it's your party. I'm in if the kid's in."

Nishinoya bit his tongue, becoming all too aware of the other eyes in the room falling upon him, waiting intently for an answer.

Admittedly, there were many things he wanted to say to Hinata. Yet against his better judgment, a small part of Nishinoya believed the confession would allow them to start over from three years ago—at the core of the belief was the hope that he could be the one whose hand Hinata held while braving engagement parties, or exiting bars late at night. Looking in retrospect, Nishinoya had to admit how naïve and strange the idea was. He thought perhaps no one is ever that lucky for a second chance.

Nishinoya cleared his throat. "I mean, it would be nice to clear the air? Be friends with him...get some closure?" He bit his lip, attempting to hide his disappointment.

Saeko picked up the despair in Nishinoya's voice and went in to give him a hug. "Oh, Noya," she assured, rubbing his back.

Nishinoya teared up a little. "It's fine. Maybe I had too much to drink."

"I'm surprised they're letting kids drink tonight," Saeko teased.

Nishinoya chuckled before letting go of the embrace. "There's still that guy Hinata's with, though."

Tanaka kissed his teeth. "Noya, Noya, Noya..." he muttered, as he rested his hand proudly on Saeko's shoulder. "That's what we're here for."

…

Around sunset, everyone retired to the house where a gauntlet of games was held, from a trivia game about the soon-to-be bride and groom, to a charades contest pitting Rina's relatives and friends against Tanaka's. Thus, with the backyard practically empty, save for a few guests enjoying the cool evening breeze, Nishinoya snuck outdoors onto the patio to have at the remaining food—a few meat skewers, some rice, a tong-full of mango salad, and another bottle of beer to wash it all down.

Nishinoya had been drinking by himself, mesmerized by the pool lights diffracting through the water, when Hinata stepped out onto the deck—the boy stopped momentarily, observing the yard, before walking towards Nishinoya. When Nishinoya realized who it was, he stood up with the urgency of a security guard caught napping on the job.

"Hinata?" Nishinoya greeted, a tad buzzed from all the alcohol that had accumulated in his system.

"I thought that was you," Hinata replied, grinning politely. "It's been a while."

"Y-yeah. Almost three years?"

"Yeah, since Sugawara's party."

"Yeah."

Standing so close to Hinata made Nishinoya all the more nervous, and he found it difficult to make eye contact.

"So...how've you been?" Nishinoya asked.

"I've been good. I've graduated, and I'm working now."

"I'm happy for you. Where do you work?"

"Well, I work as an editor at a marketing agency."

"Wow, that sounds exciting."

"More or less," Hinata remarked. "How about yourself?"

"Oh, I work as a paramedic."

Hinata's face lit up. "See? That actually sounds exciting."

"It is exciting. I mean...i-it can be. It can also get pretty intense," Nishinoya explained.

"I bet it can, sometimes." Hinata agreed, smiling nervously. "I'm sorry, I came out here searching for the guy I came with when I saw you...and thought I should say hi."

"Ah, well...thanks for coming over."

"I'm gonna go and keep looking for him—when I find him, I'll come by and introduce the two of you?" Hinata then nodded politely before turning around to head back into the house.

At that moment, Nishinoya's heart pounded loudly in his chest, his brain still cognizing that Hinata was walking away, along with the precious opportunity that had been presented to him—Nishinoya would damn himself if he'd let it slip away so easily.

"W-wait. Hinata?" Nishinoya mustered.

The boy turned around. "Yeah?"

Nishinoya walked over to him, clearing his throat. "I just wanted to say thanks. At Sugawara's party. I told you how I felt…how I felt confused. But then you told me it was okay. Honestly, I didn't believe you then, but...it seems you were right all along."

Hinata's eyes widened in amazement. "It's alright. I've been there before, and...I wanted you to assure like others have done for me in case no one else would."

Nishinoya smiled warmly. "Honestly, there wasn't anyone for a while until I talked about it with Azumane."

"Ah, yes, Daichi's friend?"

"Yeah, the guy you played beer pong with."

Hinata chuckled. "Yeah, I remember that. How did he take it?"

"Apparently, he was there for Daichi when he came out? So he could see where I was coming from, and he helped me figure it out."

"I'm happy to hear that, honestly—I truly am, Nishinoya. So you're…?"

"I'm gay."

Hinata smiled. "That's great. I'm glad to see you're okay with it."

Nishinoya smiled back, his chest swelling with both a measure of pride and relief. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he observed a blur dashing out the house and towards where Nishinoya and Hinata were standing.

"Noya, he's got a girlfriend!" Tanaka whispered gleefully, failing to notice who Nishinoya had been talking to. "Oh, crap. Hello, Hinata," the boy mumbled.

"Hiya..."

Tanaka caught his breath, "Sorry, I didn't realize I was interrupting something." He then walked solemnly back to the house, receiving a mild slap in the back of the head from Saeko before they both walked through the sliding door. Nishinoya stood speechlessly, his cheeks began burning red.

Hinata was the first to break the silence. "Wait…was so he knows you're—

"Yeah, he knows."

"And what was he doing—

"I was trying to talk to you tonight. But there was that guy you came with."

"You mean Kageyama?"

"Yeah, I guess that's his name. Tanaka kept him occupied so I could talk to you."

Hinata laughed. "Nishinoya, he's my roommate. And yes he's got a girlfriend, but it's a long-distance thing. He recently got laid off and has been having a rough time—I mentioned it to Rina, and she let me invite him to the party. I've been trying to keep it on the down-low for his sake, so...if you could help me keep it that way?"

Nishinoya stood there for a moment, blinking with bewilderment. "I'm sorry he's going through that." He hesitated before venturing, "Not to pry, but...weren't you guys holding hands before you arrived?"

Hinata blushed. "We're good friends—good, platonic friends that do couple-things as a joke."

"Wow," was all Nishinoya could muster in response.

"Yeah," Hinata said, chuckling nervously. "I mean, it's 2018, right?"

A silence passed between them, and for the first time that night—since the three years ago outside Sugawara's apartment building—Nishinoya found the courage to look into Hinata's eyes. The amber within them turned to honey, as they reflected the radiance of the setting sun.

"A lot has changed for you, hasn't it?" Hinata remarked.

"Yeah," Tanaka replied. "Yeah, I guess so. How about you?"

"What do you mean? In what way?"

"How about…enough to maybe hang out sometime and catch up?" Nishinoya mustered. "I-If that's not too forward to ask."

Hinata bit his lip, trying to hide a smile. "Yeah…I suppose things have changed."