Hiya! Sorry about the break there (and, those of you who got P.M.s, the awkward wording. I was in a weeeeiiirrrrd mood...). "Judecca" is now going to be biweekly, on Tuesdays (or, when I'm procrastinating, late Monday evening...sigh), due to my afternoons every other week being untimely interrupted by a double session of Evil class so we can watch movies. But here's the new canto. I hope everyone likes it...

Judecca, Canto XIV: Nataku

I seem to always be stealing swords. (The best word for a trend such as this, I believe, is "habit." Alec told me, but he also said two instances did not make a "habit." How many do, then?) And the strangest thing about this habit is that I never intend to use the sword myself. I have my cloth for fighting, and really would not know what to do with something like a sword. But that does not really matter,so here is what happened.

That evening after Roger and I got back from the bar and Crysania, Maedhros, and Naesala got back from wherever they had been, none of them were very happy and yelled at me when I asked what was wrong. Maedhros was the only one who did not yell. But Maedhros only speaks when Kaizer tells him to because of the Dark Ring on his right wrist. Kaizer yelled too, when I reported that "morale was low." (I learned that phrase from a book Alec let me borrow about armies, when I asked what an army was. He actually let me keep the book, because it was not a "manga" and he only really likes reading "manga," whatever those are.) So I grew tired of being yelled at, which means that I got a strange tight feeling in my chest, and to loosen this tightness I stepped outside to get fresh air and think a little about my situation. I could understand why Roger might be upset, as that man in the bar had gotten mad at him, and that maybe Crysania, Maedhros, and Naesala had had a bad time out doing whatever they'd been doing, but Kaizer had stayed in the CS Building all day, so I really did not know why he would be so angry. I hoped he was not mad at me for not helping Roger more at the bar; I was supposed to help with the Dark Rings, but Roger seemed to be doing a very good job on his own and Rei was such a nice girl, so I decided to talk to her instead.

It was funny—not in the way that makes you laugh, but in the way that makes you scratch your head and get chills. I had just met her a few hours ago, and since then she had been in my head and would not leave. I kept seeing her pretty red eyes in my mind, and the gentle smile she had given me, and the way she had listened so well to my stories about being a Dragon of Earth. I kept wondering what she had really meant about being an "Eva pilot," and why she wanted to be such a thing, if she had someone like Kamui or Kaizer she was fighting for. I wanted to see her again. Even thinking about it made me happy. She would smile for me again, and her eyes would light up. The nice lady from the Dragons of Heaven had red eyes too, as did Kamui (though both of them had brown in their eyes too). Red-eyed people were always so nice, and since Rei's eyes were the reddest, it made sense that she would also be the nicest. Those eyes and that smile were like a gift, I thought. A very special gift like my choker. And she had given it to me, and now I was keeping it with me just like the choker.

Which is how I got the idea to get Kaizer the sword. Well, not exactly. I decided that, to make Kaizer feel better (and maybe make him like me a little more so I might get my soul back sooner), I would get him a present. But I did not know what he might like, so I asked Alec, who was working on his Project in the sub-sub-basement. I helped design the Project, but had no idea it would take so long to make.

"What's up?" Alec asked, coming out from a bundle of wires, grease on his face and his long hair tied up in a funny bun to keep it out of the way. "Something wrong?"

"The rest of the building is above us," I told him. "That is why this room is called the sub-sub-basement. The treasure room is right above us, then the reception area, then..."

"Nataku, that's not what I meant by 'what's up'...ah, forget it. Did Kaizer send you to help? 'Cuz I can't get this damn program to work the way it's supposed to...I mean, there's going to be biological interaction at some point and there's no way I can see to compensate for that...but it worked before, right? I mean, it really worked? You saw it, right?"

"Every day," I told him. "But Kaizer did not send me today. I came by myself to ask if you know what Kaizer might like for a present."

"Besides Majere's head on a platter?..." Alec scratched his head and frowned. "Well, there's always his collection. You could pick something off the list of the things he wants for that. The elf's still got one, and then there's an innkeeper with a sword he's got his eyes on, but is scared to death of."

"I thought the lion yesterday evening was scary but he beat that and took the little statues from it."

Alec waved his hand in the air dismissively. "That was on his level. This sword...Nat, the sword bites."

"That is a very rude word, Alec." Kaizer used it from time to time.

"I mean it literally." He grinned. "Apparently it's got this face on it...and if anyone other than the owner tries to touch it...chomp!" Seeing me stiffen, he clapped me hard on the back and I nearly fell over. "But you're the great Nataku of the Dragons of Earth! You do this stuff all the time! I'm sure you'll be fine! Go get 'em!"

"Thank you," I told him, stepping away so he would not slam his hand into my back again. "I will try, then. But do not tell Kaizer. I want it to be a surprise."

He smiled again. "You know something? You are a really nice guy. What a pity you always end up hanging out with...ah, never mind. I'm babbling. Go get your sword. But don't kill anybody this time, all right?"

I had gotten my ribbon out, so I snapped it in his direction to help make my point. "I will try not to. But it is not smart to get in my way."

"I know." Now he sounded a little sad. "Just...go, okay? Before I start regretting..."

I do not understand that word. "Regret." Apparently it means "to realize you have done something wrong," but there is more to the emotion. A sort of sadness. I have been told things I have done were wrong, but I have never felt sad about it. It seems useless to be sad about something you cannot change. I felt bad I had made Alec somehow sad, but since he told me to go I did not stay to ask what it was I had done or said that made him feel that way. Instead I left to get the sword, taking with me a Dark Ring to use on the sword. Maybe then, I figured, it would not bite me.

This plan worked very, very well. But the sword was faster than I'd thought. And the inn was far from abandoned.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Is this the place to get medicine?" I asked the man with the helmet on outside the Black Sheep Apothecary; he looked over at the man just leaving through the sliding doors.

This second man pulled a key out of one of his pockets and inserted it in the door. "It certainly is, but I'm afraid we're closed for the evening. If you would be so kind as to...ah." He did not finish his sentence after I held up my bleeding hand. His eyes drifted from my blood to the sword, wrapped in my ribbon, which I held in my other hand. "And how did you come by that?"

"A sword bit me," I told him. "Another man with orange armor tried to attack me too but I defeated him. But Alec will not be mad at me because I did not kill anyone this time." I did not know if this man would know Alec or not, but as Alec seemed to know about everyone I figured it would be a safe guess.

The man's eyes narrowed; unlike Rei, his eyes were a greenish gold. My eyes are gold. Apparently this is rare. "So you ran into trouble at the Ptolomea? It's usually a safe place...Come, let's go somewhere else and we can talk about this."

"Riff warned me about this," the helmeted man said. "Earl Hargreaves, are you taking a case?"

"So he did, did he?" The man pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and bound my bleeding hand with it. "For the time being...this will have to do, sir."

"I do not actually have a gender," I told the nice man with the gold eyes. Behind him the helmeted man made a strange noise. People tend to do that when I correct them about this issue. I do not know why. "My name is Nataku."

"Ah...well...Earl Cain Hargreaves at your service, Nataku," the nice man said, bowing. No one had ever bowed to me before. The world was really full of such wonderful people. I did not understand why Kamui wanted to destroy it. "Where would you like to talk?"

"Actually, just having the handkerchief helps me," I told him, not sure what he wanted to talk about and not liking the looks his friend with the helmet was giving me. "But I would like to go to the Human Instrumentality Project. It is a bar." Rei was still smiling in my head. I wanted to see the real smile and I knew exactly what we would talk about: this time we would talk about her. Why do you pilot an Eva? I would ask. Somehow that sounded like a very good question to me. It sounded like the talk about wishes Kamui liked so much.

"Yes, I know the place..." Cain beckoned to the man with the helmet. "We'll escort you and talk while we walk. Come on, Kain."

"I thought your name was Cain. How can he be Cain too?" I asked, confused. "Is it like how there were two Kamuis?"

"He spells it differently," shrugged Cain. "These things happen...and there was an earlier Cain as well..." He shook his head. "Let's not talk names. You have quite an interesting package there." He gestured with his cane at the sword.

"It is for Kaizer," I told him as we started walking. As I said that, the other Kain stopped in mid-step and began heading in the other direction. I let him go, and so did Cain. I had not liked him anyway. "Because he was mad all day."

"I'll bet he was..." mused Cain. This startled me.

"You know Kaizer?"

"I know some of his acquaintances. I know what he's planning on doing, and I know what he's collecting in his little basement." He adjusted his coat. "We've...clashed about certain items we both wanted."

"You collect things?"

"You could say that." Now Cain would not look me in the eyes. "What do you think he's doing in there, behind those doors and among that fire?"

"I do not know. It is not my place."

For some reason he found this funny. "Yes, he would like that. It's not my place to say this either, but you need to know. Stay away from him."

Suddenly I remembered someone else I knew with golden eyes. "Do you know Raistlin?" I asked. "He is sometimes called Majere. That is his last name. He is Kaizer's enemy."

"I know him. I know all about what he's playing here, and what's going to happen. I've been in the chapel, I've spoken with Her, and of my own volition I've chosen to be here. But you...you never had a choice, did you?" Now he was looking at me again, and I wished he would look away again. He was kind of scary. "I am not a stranger to dangerous hobbies, but what Kaizer aspires to is beyond even my limits. Why do you think the sword bit you?"

"I picked it up. It had a face. The face had a mouth. It was unhappy." I almost unwrapped it to show him but caught myself. Showing you have a weapon in the middle of a street is not smart. But it was such a strange face, I wanted to show him. The eyes were so droopy and so was the mouth. It looked silly...until it sank its jaws into me.

"Statues have mouths and faces, but they don't bite. Souls, Nataku. Only things with souls move like that. I seek, in the substances I gather, to control life and death with chemicals. Death trapped in liquid and powders: in these I deal, with these I study alone. What Kaizer seeks to control is not nearly as empirical. Every artifact he desires contains a demon within. A bit dangerous should that treasure chest break, is it not?" He chuckled. "And they call me mad. No, if you want to avoid hell, and having gone through it I wouldn't recommend the experience, you'll get out before he destroys you."

"But he has my soul too," I protested. "And he will give it back. I believe him." Something was wrong with what Cain was saying. Then I figured it out. "And if you dislike Kaizer, why do you not fight?"

Absentmindedly Cain tucked his cane under his arm. "Maybe I just don't care enough. It's none of my business, anyway. Just thought you needed a warning. Here we are." And here we were: the bar where Rei worked. "What's here, anyway?"

"Rei," I told him happily, running towards the door. I looked back as I went in. Cain was smiling at me, like I'd done something funny.

I wonder why.

O0o0o0o0o0

Most of the people with Dark Rings were still there, ordering drinks on autopilot. That was very nice of Kaizer. Now Rei's boss would be making lots of money. And Rei was making quite a bit with tips herself.

"Why I what?" she asked me, sitting down across from me at the small circular table in the dim room. "Pilot?"

"Whatever that means, yes," I told her, staring at her as she adjusted her weight in the seat. The low lighting glowed in her hair, making it look like the sky tinged with sunlight. Her slim hands rested under her chin. Her skin seemed very smooth. I wanted to touch it and did not know why, so I did not. But I looked for a long time at her hands and thought quite a bit about taking one in my own, sword bite and all.

She blinked slowly, thoughtfully; I watched her eyelashes move up and down in fascination. Everyone else blinks the same way, so why Rei's blinking seemed so much more special I really cannot say. "For him," she finally said. "For Commander Ikari. And because I am supposed to. Is that all you wanted to know?"

Where was her smile? I wanted her smile. "I want to know anything you want to tell me," I said. "Anything about you. I do not care what. You listened to me and now I want to listen to you."

"There's nothing," she said flatly, softly. "There's nothing about me to tell. I just am."

For a minute I thought about this. "I do not believe that," I answered finally. "No one with a soul just is. That is how I came to know I had a soul. So unless you have no soul, there is more to you than just being. And a person with a smile like yours must have a soul."

"Maybe I don't, then," she said, ignoring my last sentence and the hint I had tried to drop with what Alec calls "subtlety", which is apparently something Roger is good at and I am not. "I've never really noticed."

"So perhaps Kaizer has your soul too," I offered. "We could ask him."

She shook her head. "Commander Ikari doesn't like Kaizer."

No one I'd met all day liked Kaizer. It was getting hard to defend him over and over again, but I had to for my soul's sake. "What about what you think?"

"I don't. Are you done?"

She was mad at me! What had I done? Everyone had been mad at me all day but Cain, just like no one had liked Kaizer. As I tried to discover what I'd done wrong, I realized I was sad about something in the past. That meant I was feeling regret. My first regret. And I did not like it at all. It hurt, like the part of me that felt stifled around angry people wanted to rip itself out of my chest and shred my heart to pieces. "I am sorry I made you angry, Rei," I told her. "I did not mean to. I will go, then." Head bowed, I went to leave, still unsure what I'd done but knowing I wouldn't get a smile this visit.

As I walked to the door, I became aware how quiet the bar was, as my heart was pounding in my ears. Slowly I became aware of something else though: a slow, sad tune drifting through the air. Someone was whistling. And from the sadness in the music, it was like he was whistling just for me.

Looking up, I saw Kamui. Or at least, at first glance it looked like Kamui. He had the same long face, the same sadness in his eyes. But his hair was longer, and the wrong color: green when it should have been black. His eyes had more red in them, too. And he was sitting with another red-eyed man, too. More red eyes. It hurt to look at them. But these eyes—at least the whistler's eyes—seemed kind. I decided I would take a chance and sat down at the table too.

"Hello. My name is Nataku." I smiled at the shorter of the two men, whose gaze stayed locked on the liquid in his glass; he sloshed it against the sides by shaking it and watched it settle. "What is your name?"

"Folken, make him leave..." the man muttered, still watching what little light came from the lamps reflect off his drink; his eyelids twitched but his pupils remained dilated. "I hate people who start conversations with me."

"Oh. Why?" To be polite, I started watching his drink too. It didn't seem all that interesting to me. "Starting a conversation means that I am interested in becoming your friend. You know nothing about me. We might get along very well."

"Hnf. What does that matter to me?" The man picked up a dinner knife lying at his place, began running his finger over the blade. He smiled, but it was not a normal smile. I could see all his teeth.

"Dilandau, you're being rude," said the whistler emotionlessly, but he sounded amused by something anyway. "Please forgive him, Nataku. I am Folken."

"What kinds of things do you like to do for fun?" At the very least I could be friends with Folken.

Dilandau continued caressing the knife, lifted his glass to his lips and wet them with the red liquid. He did not wipe his lips afterwards, so two little red drops of wine dribbled down his chin. "Do you really want to know?" he asked absently. "If you keep bothering me, I might have to show you..." He giggled to himself. "Yes, maybe I'll show you...get you to go away myself...it's been a while..."

"No, Dilandau." Folken's hand closed around his and took the knife away. "This is not the time for that."

"It's never time!" the younger man whined. "Folken, my Guymelef is gone and we're lost! I'm getting pretty angry! You aren't in charge of me!" Folken chuckled softly at that. "So stop ordering me around!" Standing, he drew his sword and pointed it at me. "I'll show you what happens to people who make me angry..."

"I have a sword too," I told him, to be fair. "If you attack me I will fight back too. And if we fight here Rei's boss will have to repair things, probably. I do not want to cause trouble for him."

"I—don't—care!" He lunged, but Folken grabbed him under the shoulders and pinned Dilandau against himself. "Dilandau!" Folken rebuked sharply. "What will it take for you to learn?"

"Don't lecture me, Strategos!" Scowling, he twisted his head up to look at Folken's face. "You think I care?"

"Have you forgotten them, Dilandau?" Folken breathed softly. "Those who died for your rashness?" Dilandau's eyes lost their focus at that. "That's...not fair, Strategos..." he began.

"Cause and effect, Dilandau. We must learn from our errors, and we must pay for them." Letting him go, Folken settled Dilandau back into a chair and sat back down as well. "I apologize, Nataku."

"It is all right. People have been getting mad at me all day. First there was Roger, then Crysania, Maedhros, and Naesala, and then Kaizer, even though he hasn't left the CS Building. And then--"

"Wait a moment, Nataku." Folken leaned closer. "The CS Building?"

"Yes. That is where I live. That is where Kaizer works. I serve Kaizer. Do you want to serve Kaizer too?" I asked, hoping I was not about to be lectured about how Kaizer was a bad man again.

Fortunately, Folken did not say anything bad about Kaizer. Instead, he said exactly what I'd hoped he would. This would be such a wonderful present, even better than the sword.

"I would like at least to speak to him. Will you take us there?" Standing, he tapped his companion on the shoulder. "We're leaving, Dilandau."

Dilandau's hand closed around the stem of his glass, squeezed. "Folken...you do nothing but tell me what to do...and yet we do nothing...I hate you!" he suddenly screamed, and the stem of the glass snapped, sending red liquid everywhere. Picking up the bottle, he threw it at Folken's head. Folken ducked sideways a little, face not even reacting, and the bottle broke against the wall. "I hate you..."

"Hey!" Even with Dark Rings, the people in the inn still did not like having bottles flying through the air. Or maybe Kaizer made them unhappy; there was no way to tell. "Watch it, kid!"

"Watch who you call a kid, peasants..." Panting, Dilandau drew his sword again, but his eyes were on the lamps hanging from the ceiling. Half of the lamps had lightbulbs, but the others all had several candles lighting them. A candle lamp hung above Dilandau's head, and upon seeing it his face brightened like he was re-meeting an old friend. "Yes..." He licked his lips. "Yes, all of you will...Folken will..."

"Dilandau, no!" Folken ordered, but his realization came too late. Swinging wildly above his head, Dilandau broke the ropes suspending the lamp; as he jumped back it crashed to the ground and lit the tablecloth on fire. "YES!" Dilandau cheered, running at Folken, who had nowhere to go since the fire started. "FOOOLLLLLLLKEEEEEEENNNNN, BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN!"

"That's enough." A figure stepped around the fire calmly, ignoring the heat and the smoke and the spreading flames and the Ringed patrons who could only stare as bit by bit the bar caught fire. Rei grabbed Dilandau by the sword arm and impassively wrenched the weapon from him, flames reflecting in her eyes but no emotion lighting them from within. "Leave before Commander Ikari gets back." Taking the sword, she swung it against a glass container near the bar, removed the object kept within, and began spraying the fire with a strange white substance in a canister.

Dilandau picked his sword up, shaking, and for a moment I thought he was going to attack Rei (which was terrifying, even more than when the fire had burst out) but Folken grabbed him again and steered him (struggling and kicking) towards the door. "To the CS Building, then?" he asked me, shooting me a glance out of the corner of his eyes.

I looked quickly at Rei, who upon seeing me looking at her flushed a little. "I am sorry," I told her. "About the fire. It will be hard to explain to your boss."

"I will manage," she told me. "But—thank you for worrying. I know it was not your fault. Goodbye." And at long last, she smiled at me—radiant against the clearing smoke, the one warmth in a dark uncertain chaos. I remembered a term Alec had showed me, another name for the Dragons of Earth that he said sounded very positive.

"You are an angel," I told her, bowing, then followed Folken and Dilandau out into the dark streets, but I did not notice the cold or even the pain from my sword bite. I had gotten what I had come from.

It had turned out to be a wonderful day after all.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

a/n: Lots of cheap shots there...Cain is a little off, I think...but I can't see him doing nothing in that situation either. That whole scene wasn't in my original notes. Aren't you lucky? You got explanations earlier than expected!

"X" fans...what's Alec building? (not that hard to figure out, sigh)

Eva fans...was it even close to passable? Waaaah...

Subtitle fans...when Rei says "goodbye," she's really saying "sayonara." This is what she says before every mission in the show until she's told to stop, and it carries with it a definite tone of finality. I've seen it translated as "goodbye forever." But she may not see it that way...

Judecca fans: Coming up next—oh, dear lord (just looked at my outline). Feanor narrates next time, as he and some of the others launch an infiltration attack on behalf of the prisoner they saved back in Canto XII...and then a boy who's been reunited with his favorite toy shows up, ve-ry hap-py...far too many pyromaniacs in one place, right here in two weeks on "Judecca"! (I'm starting to sound like a TV show preview, aren't I?)

HWB—am I forgiven?