-more of Zack's thoughts, and a bit of Max's plan to get some money

Chapter 3

Zack pulled his small bag over his shoulder, taking one last look at the room before he left. He didn't really care that he was leaving. He didn't really care about anything.

He didn't want to fit in, he just wanted to appear normal. He knew he wasn't normal. It was all he knew. He only caught a glimpse of his past in his sleep. When he woke up from one of those dreams, he would find himself sweating, but he was never able to recall the whole dream, just pieces. The only truth he knew was just a feeling of his past. He could tell, it was horrifying. Sometimes he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to remember. But other times, like when he had been standing in front of his landlord, he wanted to know. He wanted an explanation, but nothing came to him.

Zack only wanted a normal appearance to continue being left alone. When he looked different, he stood out, even though he tried to stand in the shadows. He didn't like conversations like the one with his old landlord. They made him question himself. People need a purpose to keep going. Zack had none. He would have tried to figure out his past, but he had short of nothing to go on.

Zack found his way to the bus station easily. He pulled out the money to buy his ticket, attempting to smile at the girl handing them out. It didn't feel right upon his face, but he did it anyway.

He could see it in her eyes, the unspoken acceptance. She believed his lying smile. She thought it was natural. Zack didn't take it as a compliment or proof that he was skilled in deceit. He took it as her own stupidity, not being able to see through. Zack always felt superior to others, he couldn't help it. He didn't know why, with him being a wandering construction worker, that he should feel better, but he did.

As Zack sat alone in his seat, he couldn't help eyeing everyone aboard. He didn't trust anyone. They all seemed shady to him. He had a lot of money on him, he had to keep aware. Also, his natural avoidance of police or questions kicked in when in situations like these- stuck in a closed space with strangers for another 2 hours.

Zack kept his hands in his pocket, clutching the paper. He had tried throwing it away so many times. It wasn't like he wouldn't remember what was on it, but he couldn't help keeping it. It was like holding this paper somehow was holding on to hope of someday discovering his past. He couldn't help himself from pulling it out and reading it for probably the 100th time, even though he already knew exactly what was written upon it.

Your name is Zack. Always remove the tattoo.

He rubbed the back of his neck instinctively, picturing his tattoo, the only clue into his past. It was some sort of number. Why he had it on the back of his neck, he didn't know. That wasn't the most interesting aspect, however. The weirdest part was that it came back after only a few days of being removed. Normal tattoos didn't do that. It was just another indicator that he wasn't normal.

His frustration was almost overwhelming. He didn't have many emotions, hardly any. But there was one emotion that he could not escape from or do anything it seemed to lessen- his ultimate frustration at his situation. He had figured out all he could, and there was nothing he could do to find more.

This note was in his own handwriting. He didn't even know that until he'd written down his thoughts before, noticing the 2 matched. He wrote the note, so he must have known ahead of time that he was losing his memory, or was going to. His former self knew, and had only left this for the future.

He didn't even have a last name. He wondered if he wasn't supposed to. He decided to keep changing his last name for the time being, until he discovered something more.

2 months later, he'd given up on everything but his frustration. He wondered how much longer he could do this, wandering around without any idea who he was, without a purpose, without a connection to anyone, before he would break.

He folded the paper back up and shoved it into his pocket before giving up on his thoughts and just waiting to get to his destination.

----------------------------------

"You mean I have to wait for Alec? Just how long is he going to be?" an impatient Max asked her friend Joshua.

"Alec out for health. Be back later." Joshua said with his never fading smile.

Max started pacing. She couldn't wait too long. Otherwise there wouldn't be enough time to go over the plan, and it would have to wait till the following weekend. She didn't know if she could bare waiting a week. She needed this money now.

She tried to be patient with Joshua. He didn't seem to understand the seriousness of the situation, as usual. She placed her hands on Joshua's shoulders gently, holding his attention. She spoke softly, "Listen, Joshua. This is really important. I need to know exactly where Alec is. I am sure he told you not to tell anyone, especially me. But this is just one of those times where you have to believe that it's okay to tell me. If I don't reach him in time, one of my close friends will be in danger. It's an emergency." Max wasn't really lying. If she waited a week for this money it would mean she would be an entire week behind schedule of looking for her family or finding the cure. A week was a long time to slow the progress when every minute mattered. Any number of things could happen in a week. In one week, Max could find all her siblings had been captured. She did consider this an emergency.

Joshua didn't like the sad look in Max's eyes. She looked sad. He ignored Alec's request and gave in to Max, anything to put a smile back in her eyes. "Alec at ladies club! Alec needed anight with ladies for health."

Max rolled her eyes. She should have guessed. Somehow Alec had conned Joshua into thinking going to a strip club was important for his health. He's supposed to be keeping an eye on you, Max thought, looking at Joshua. Joshua didn't really understand how badly he needed to keep hidden. Max wanted with all her heart to let him be free, but she knew that right now, no one would accept Joshua, and he might get seriously hurt. Alec living there had been a solution for both, or so she thought. It gave Alec a cheap place to stay and Joshua a constant protector. But it seemed as usual, Alec was taking advantage of the situation. Max found herself once again upset with Alec. Couldn't she count on him for anything? The least he could of done was tell her he was going to abandon Joshua for the night instead of just doing whatever he wanted without warning.

"Joshua, do you think you could just stay in and read tonight?" Max asked.

"Joshua coming for health! Joshua go with Little Fella!"

Max shook her head, "No. Joshua stay in for health. You've got plenty of books to keep you occupied tonight." She felt bad asking him to stay alone, but she had no choice.

Joshua gave Max a sad look. "Joshua done reading all books."

Max stared in shock. Joshua had a small library, and he had managed to finish every book. "Joshua, I promise to bring a whole stack over from Logan's tomorrow. But tonight I need you to promise me that you are going to stay inside." She placed her hand on his back gently, beckoning him to listen.

Joshua backed away from Max's touch.

Max felt bad for him, but with so much uncertainty about the safety of her family, she didn't need to worry about Joshua as well. She made up her mind to try and find a way to take him out later. "Joshua," Max said firmly, "I need to know you will stay here."

Joshua was clearly hurt, and offended, but he gave Max his word the only way he knew how. "Max go to ladies club with Alec. Joshua stay and read books."

Max gave Joshua a warm smile. "Thank you, Joshua."

She went out to find Alec, trying to contain her annoyance and anger enough to be nice to Alec so he would go along with her plan.