DISCLAIMER: i dont own these characters
a/n: Ok, so I lied. I didn't mean to, I thought I was done with this fic, but I want to try and save it I guess, I can't help it, I can't stand unfinished business! I am so busy that I have no idea when I will be able to truly work on this. This chapter was necessary- the whole fic can't be brooding and Boring Zack. This whole chapter is really more plot building, but like I said, it's necessary. See you next chapter...
Chapter 8: Instincts
He woke up with a start. Sweat was dripping from his manly face. He felt like a little boy in spite of his physique. He wanted to forget his nightmares, but this one was different. This one had something in it that helped him to escape. It wasn't waking up that helped him to escape this time- it was her eyes.
He had never seen a woman attached to them, or anything else for that matter, technically they could have belonged to some beast. But something in his heart showed him, he knew those eyes.
Sights of darkness surrounded him. He felt like he should be running, but he couldn't tell what he was running from. His speed took him where he should have gotten away, but he couldn't escape. He could run till his legs wouldn't carry him and he would still never escape. What was he running from?
The question stuck out in his mind, but something else stood out more- the will to forget. He didn't want to know. He wanted to keep running to avoid facing whatever it was he was trying to escape.
This was the part where he usually woke up, but he didn't feel like following the pattern again this time. There was a sort of defiance in his sleep. Something about being kicked out again, discovering friends but feeling no real connection- he wanted to face his nightmares. He hated feeling weak, being reduced to a child over something he didn't even comprehend. He hated watching himself run, but more so, he hated that he knew he wanted to keep running. Even though it was weak, it was what he willed.
In his nightmares, he had no control of anything- his emotions, fears, actions all seemed to be out of his control. Something inside of him wanted to fight against it. There was an enemy to be fought. The first rule though, he was forgetting the first rule- know your enemy. He didn't know, he wouldn't face it, he refused to.
He could see no end in sight. He knew there was no end. He would be running until the end of time. Suddenly, his feet betrayed him and stopped running. He didn't know why he had stopped. It would catch him! Why weren't his feet moving?
He turned against his own will to see what had caused him to stop running. And then he saw the eyes. They were only there for a moment, but they caught him by everything within him- his entire self seemed drawn to them.
Zack sat up and decided to forget the dream. What good what it do anyway? It was so childish! He wanted to be strong, but in his sleep he was nothing, a mere child running from something they were too scared to confront.
Zack didn't want to admit that he was just like the people around him- the people he despised. He watched how weak they became when attached to others, how feelings crowded their thoughts and decided their actions. He saw how easily they were fooled by shallow compliments, fake sentimentality.
But in his sleep he longed for something, a connection. He wanted a purpose. The dreams he wanted to finish and understand, they seemed to have something to discover.
He got up to get to the job. He didn't know why he was in construction. It was such a boring job, really. He felt that he had intellect to pursue something else. He figured he probably took classes at some point. He knew their system too well not to have.
His boss liked him. He didn't ask questions or cause trouble, he just did his job, and he was great at it. Today would be just like the rest, physical labor in exchange for money.
"Zack!" his boss greeted him with a happy face, "We need you over at that end." He pointed to the opposite end, it looked like a disorganized mess. "Those boys need a real man over there to show 'em how it's done!" He said with a smile.
Zack nodded appreciatively, trying to appear normal. The boss had meant it as a compliment, that Zack was trustworthy and a good worker. It would have meant something, if Zack cared.
He headed over to the sight, nodding to the others to say hi in the manly way. He noticed that first they would need some sort of infrastructure. Right now, the boards were haphazardly layed out in no particular order. He began moving a messy pile and started to form a base for building.
The others followed suit, though slowly. They didn't lift the heavy boards with as much ease as Zack.
After doing this for an hour, Zack noticed that he was the only one lifting all of a sudden. He wondered if he should take a break to appear tired. But then he noticed why the men stopped working. They were taking a moment to enjoy the view, so to speak. A beautiful woman was walking by, talking on a cell phone.
Zack shook his head in disapproval. They really were pathetic. Controlled by their emotions, among other things, in this case. He was just about to clap to mockingly celebrate the moment when something about the woman caught him as well. He noticed her long flowing beautiful brown hair. It struck him somehow. He became caught in the moment, forgetting that he was leading the site at the moment.
Her hair- he wanted to touch it. He found himself watching his own hand stroke that hair at a different time, gently touch the face attached to it, though he still couldn't see the entire face. No- he wasn't watching. He was remembering!
How long he was in the moment he didn't know, but for once he didn't care. He felt the memory not only in his mind, but also in his heart. His breath seemed to stop, he noticed nothing but the electrifying feeling he was experiencing.
He'd seen other girls, so he knew it wasn't his human weakness in seeing a girl.
The memory was gone as quickly as it had come, but it was his to keep. He watched it over again, remembering how it felt to comfort her.
He felt the urgent need to protect her, comfort her. He could hardly contain himself- he had to help her. This was his memory. Was she still alive? Did she still need comforting? How long ago was this?
Questions flooded his mind until he was drowning in them. He saw the memory again and again. He loved this girl, didn't he?
His mind went blank and he dropped to the floor unconscious.
"Boss!" a worker called over to get his attention. The boss ran over at the sight, there was a worker down.
"What the hell happened!" he demanded. He noticed a beam wedged into the man's arm laying on the ground. His arm wasn't going to make it, he would surely lose his limb. Then he looked in horror upon the man's face. It was Zack! His best worker. He turned to his silent, shocked crew and repeated the question, "What happened?"
"He wasn't paying attention! I don't know what happened, he just stood there still. We were working, and the beam fell. I called him, and he just stood there! He didn't get out of the way!" a worker admitted.
The boss looked to his worker, "Call an ambulance immediately. Anyone know CPR?" Seeing no volunteers, he decided to try himself. He first touched Zack's neck to feel for a heartbeat.
At the touch of the boss's fingers upon his neck, Zack bolted up almost instinctively. He assessed the situation. Staring back at him were faces showing horror and confusion.
Zack noticed them staring at his arm. He noticed the beam sticking through it. They were confused, he shouldn't be there. He should be still unconscious, his arm should be unattached.
Then he noticed where his other hand lie, grasping the throat of his attacker. No, not his attacker. It was his boss. He was clearly assessing the situation, trying to help Zack.
Zack released his grip, and realized it was too late. The man was dead.
He had to leave immediately. Instincts overtook his confused state. He didn't focus on questions or what to do, he knew what to do. He stood up and pulled the beam out of his arm, not noticing at the moment the lack of much blood.
He grabbed the money he could, knocked out someone who began to pick up the phone to dial the police and then he did what he'd been watching himself do for countless nights- he ran.