Chapter 10

Yugi had hoped to have some time alone to think and process everything that had happened tonight. It seemed that Atem had other ideas.

Atem dogged a silent Yugi's progress up the stairs. "You're better off without him. I sensed cruelty and darkness in his heart when I shook his hand. He wanted to use you--"

"He was angry, upset. I'm sure he didn't mean those things he said."

"He meant them," Atem growled and stepped in front of Yugi, forcing him to stop. "You deserve so much better."

"You keep saying that. But I don't see anyone lined up to take his place. Do you?" A hard shove sent Atem stumbling back a step so that Yugi could scoot around him and flee down the hall to the bedroom. "Just leave me alone!"

Yugi slammed the bedroom door with as much as force as he could manage, nearly flattening Atem's nose in the process. It was strangely satisfying, though Yugi knew from recent experience that a closed door was no deterrent to a determined genie. Maybe, he thought as he flung himself onto the bed and buried his head under his pillow, just this once, Atem would take the hint.

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Atem yelped when the door almost slammed shut on his nose. He rubbed the offended bit of his anatomy and glared at the closed door. He could sense Yugi's anger, confusion, and hurt even through the barrier between them. It made Atem even more furious with Seto Kaiba.

How dare that puffed-up piece of dung treat Yugi so callously? Seto wasn't good enough to kiss the ground at Yugi's feet, much less have him for a lover. Atem seethed at the very idea. He began to pace in front of the door, with each step conjuring up a new mental image of what he would like to do to Seto. The newt option was too good for the likes of him. Maybe a slug…

A faint noise from inside Yugi's bedroom snapped Atem's attention fully back to his master's plight. Atem's shoulders sagged as he admitted to himself that he bore at least partial responsibility for Yugi's agitation. If not for the rules imposed upon him by the curse, Atem would not have caused Yugi so much grief. Obligation demanded Atem serve, gratify, not disappoint. So far, all he had done was upset and embarrass Yugi, and hurt him when his unselfish wishes had to go unfulfilled.

Atem raked a hand through his hair. What had he done? He had allowed his -- admit it! -- jealousy to take control of him, and he'd used the rules that governed his actions as an excuse to keep Yugi from Seto's arms. And now Yugi thought Atem was some kind of monster. Atem didn't blame him. Maybe Yugi was right and Atem had lost the last of his humanity. Maybe there was nothing left in him of the man he had been.

He tugged at his hair until it hurt. Maybe he ought to stop feeling sorry for himself and find a way to make it up to Yugi.

Pressing his forehead against the closed door, Atem called softly, "Yugi?"

"Go! Away!"

Atem sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. "Yugi… I just want to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you."

"Yugi--"

"Just… leave me alone."

The defeat in Yugi's voice nearly broke Atem. He sagged against the door, finding it hard to swallow past the sudden tightness in his throat. In all his years of servitude, no one had ever made him feel like this. He pressed both hands to the wooden panel of the door. He could have magicked the door away or transported himself to the other side of it, but he didn't. To do so would only upset Yugi more and that was something Atem was determined not to do.

"Yugi, please." The word did not come easy to him, but he said it -- for Yugi. "Please, listen to me. I never meant to hurt you."

Soft sounds -- the rustle of fabric and the shuffle of bare feet on carpet -- indicated Yugi was moving around the room. The door cracked open and too-bright, blue eyes peered suspiciously at him.

"Okay." Yugi's voice was hushed, subdued. "Talk."

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Yugi wasn't sure what it was that made him open the door. Perhaps it was the genuine contrition he heard in Atem's voice. Whatever it was, once he'd seen the look in Atem's eyes, he couldn't hold onto his anger any longer.

"Okay," he said wearily. "Talk."

"Yugi, I--" Atem faltered. Yugi had never seen the genie look so unsure of himself. When he reached out to take one of Yugi's hands in his, Yugi let him. "I'm sorry."

The simple apology hung in the silence between them, suspended on Atem's held breath. Staring into Atem's eyes, Yugi gauged the genie's sincerity. He meant it. That much was clear in every taut line of his body. Finally, Yugi gave a tiny nod.

"All right. I forgive you." Gently, Yugi pulled his hand from Atem's grasp. "Now, go away and let me get some rest." He was exhausted, though he didn't think he'd get any actual sleep tonight. There were too many confused emotions churning in his head for that.

Atem stopped him from shutting the door between them again. "Wait! Please. Let me show you something, first?"

A sigh, then a resigned nod. "Fine. What is it?"

Atem drew Yugi out into the hallway. "…Alakazam."

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Where the hallway had been, now stretched the open courtyard of a Roman villa. Overhead, faint stars sprinkled a sky just darkening to twilight. A warm breeze carried with it the scent of bougainvillea and the salty tang of the sea. From the distance came the soft susurration of waves lapping at the shore.

Yugi turned and ran a wide-eyed gaze over Atem, who could tell Yugi was surprised to find Atem dressed in a black silk suit instead of his former leather. A quick glance down showed Yugi that he was similarly attired. "How--?"

"Genie."

"…Right."

"Come." Atem took Yugi's hand in his and gently led him across the courtyard. "Let me show you."

Atem had based his recreation of the villa on one belonging to a past master who had been a general in Herculaneum. Atem no longer remembered the general's name or his face, but he thought he recalled enough details about the man's villa to make Yugi happy. As his master exclaimed over the painted marble statues in their niches and the tile mosaics decorating the covered walkway along the edge of the courtyard, Atem decided he had succeeded.

"This is incredible." Yugi smiled at him. "But… Why did you do this?"

"I thought a classical archaeologist such as yourself would enjoy a setting like this one." Atem gestured to their surroundings. "Besides, you haven't had your dinner, yet."

"What are you--?"

Atem placed his hands on Yugi's shoulders and turned him to face a previously unnoticed archway. Through it, a terrace with a table set for one was visible.

"Oh," Yugi said.

Atem escorted Yugi to the table and bowed him to his seat. A glass of wine materialized on the table in front of Yugi, along with an array of delicacies. As the moon rose over the horizon, silvering the waves just visible on the shore below them, lamps set in tall stands around the terrace sprang to life. The lamplight flattered Yugi, Atem thought, admiring the way the soft light played on his master's hair and fair skin.

Turning his gaze from the tempting sight, Atem bowed again and prepared to fade into the shadows while Yugi dined. "I hope everything is to your satisfaction, master." He began to back away.

Yugi's sigh pinned him in place. "Not quite."

Anxious to see what he had done wrong, Atem cast a quick look around. What had he overlooked? He wanted everything to be perfect for Yugi. "Master? What is missing?"

"A dinner companion." Yugi looked at him, a faint smile curving his mouth. "Join me?"

Surprised but pleased, Atem conjured a second chair and place setting. As he took his seat across the small table from his master, he said, "I am honored to be your dinner companion. Thank you for the invitation."

"You sound surprised?" Yugi made it a question.

"I did not think you would care for my company." Atem pretended to be absorbed in choosing a delicacy to sample first. "I… You have every right to be angry with me."

Yugi sighed and set his own fork aside. "Atem--"

"I regret that my actions caused you pain."

"You…" Yugi's head lowered so that his bangs hid his eyes. "You were just doing what genies do. Right? Your rules and all."

"Even so…" Atem toyed with a mushroom. "I am sorry."

"It wasn't your fault. Not really." Yugi raised his head. Their gazes met and held. Yugi shook his head and gave a self-deprecating little laugh. "I don't know why I thought your rules wouldn't apply just because I had a date. You've told me enough times that you can't control the rules, that you have to obey them. I guess I just didn't want to believe you when it wasn't convenient for me."

"If I could change things--"

"No." Iris-blue eyes flickered to the side as high color flooded Yugi's cheeks. "I could've handled things better, but maybe it was for the best. I wasn't being fair to Seto. I told myself that I could fall in love with him if I tried hard enough -- because I was lonely and it seemed to be what he wanted. But, it was wrong of me to think that. He needs someone who can love him for who he his, not who they need him to be."

Atem reached across the table and brushed the back of Yugi's hand with gentle fingertips. "And you deserve someone who loves you for you, just as you are." Which was, in Atem's opinion, damned near perfect.

The silence rested easily between them until Yugi broke it with a little chuckle. When Atem raised a questioning brow, Yugi said, "At least Téa will be happy about all this. She's been after me to dump Seto for -- well, since we started going out, really."

"Why did you start dating him?"

"After what happened last summer, he -- he was there when I need someone. He defended me, helped me keep my job when the regents wanted me gone. We were friends first. I... guess I should've kept it to that, but I was... selfish. I wanted..." He shook his head, falling silent.

Atem studied Yugi's face, hesitating as he considered broaching what he knew to be a touchy subject. Finally, he decided he had to ask. "Yugi… What happened in Sagalassos?"

This time, the silence wasn't as comfortable as before. Yugi chewed a bite of perfectly prepared steak and squashed a potato into pulp with his fork. Finally, he said, "I'll tell you. But not tonight. I just want to enjoy this, tonight. Okay?"

Atem nodded. He wanted to know what had happened last summer since it was obvious that whatever it was still troubled Yugi. But he had created this villa and this dinner to take Yugi's mind off his troubles, not force him to dwell on them. "Eat your dinner, master."

"Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

"It's the--"

"--rule, I know." Yugi pulled a face at him. Then a speculative look came into his eyes. "Were you really a prince?"

It was difficult not to withdraw into his usual stoicism, but Atem forced himself not to. He fixed his gaze on the distant, moonlit waves. "I was."

"Tell me?"

Atem suppressed a shiver. He didn't like remembering his past, but could refuse Yugi nothing it was within his power to grant. Not even this. Especially not this, when Yugi used that soft, hopeful tone.

"My father was the Horus Akhnemkhanen. I was the only son of his body with my mother, the Great Royal Wife." His voice lost some of its stiff formality as he added, "She died when I was born. My nurse, Neferu, raised me. When I was sixteen, Pharaoh named me his heir. At eighteen, he placed me at the head of the regiment of Amun. I was days short of my twentieth year when my brother ambushed my war band in the desert and captured me."

Yugi's hand closed around Atem's. "Your brother… He was the white-haired man in the movie -- uh, I mean, in your memory?"

"Yes. His name was Bakura. He was my half-brother, by one of Pharaoh's lesser wives." That distinction had never meant anything to Atem. It still hurt him to realize how much it had meant to Bakura.

"He was the one who made you a genie?"

This time, the shiver escaped. Yugi must have felt it run through Atem's body because he laced their fingers together in a comforting gesture. Atem gave Yugi's hand a grateful squeeze. "It was Bakura's spell that did this to me, yes. Though, I don't think he intended for things to turn out this way."

Bakura had intended to kill him and damn his soul, barring Atem from the afterlife while Bakura took his stolen body and used it against their father. He had planned to murder the Pharaoh and take the Double Crown for himself. Instead, he had cursed Atem to this unlife of servitude. The spell Bakura cast must have backfired somehow, binding Bakura's magic to Atem, rather than simply transferring it to his soulless body. As for what else had gone wrong so that he ended up a creature of magic, Atem did not know. Nor did he know Bakura's ultimate fate. Atem could only hope it had been unpleasant.

Yugi's voice called him back from his dark memories. "Atem?"

"What else do you wish to know?"

"Are there others like you? Other genies?"

"No, not like me." Atem knew that as surely as he knew the rules which governed him. "I am alone."

"And trapped…" Yugi whispered. Somehow, they had drifted closer, so that their knees pressed tight against one another beneath the table. "You don't live in the puzzle, you told me that. So, where do you go when you're between masters?"

Atem hadn't expected Yugi to ask that. No one had ever cared what happened to him when he wasn't serving them. No one except Yugi. "It is… difficult to express in words. It's like being trapped in a shadow. I am aware of the world outside, but only as if it were a dream. I dream history as it happens."

Yugi's brows drew together in a thoughtful frown. "You mentioned another realm -- a shadow realm -- once before. I got the feeling I was missing something then, and it's even stronger now. What am I not seeing?"

"In the dream state, the shadow realm… there is no sensation. I may see and hear, though as if through a veil, but I cannot touch or taste or smell. It's as if I am but a ghost, unable to interact with anything around me. I cannot move of my volition. I can do nothing but absorb the information the magic imparts to me. I learn, but do not experience. Memory fades to nothing, and less than nothing. Time passes, but I have no sense of it. I feel neither pain nor pleasure -- I feel nothing at all, for I cannot. It is as if I have no body there, only a mind, a spirit, and that spirit is never allowed to rest."

Eyes wide in a face gone pale with horror, Yugi stared at him. "That sounds more like a nightmare than a dream."

"It would, I think, be tolerable if it were all I knew. But each new master who solves the puzzle summons me back to this world. For a short time, usually only a few hours at the most, I am reminded of all that I have lost, all that is denied me -- all the vibrancy and texture of life." Atem tilted his head back and took a deep breath of the night air, catching the sweet scent of the flowers and the salt of the sea. The warm Mediterranean breeze wrapped around him like silk, and Yugi's hand was a reassuring weight in his own.

Atem let those things, and the taste of the wine and the food lingering on his tongue, anchor him as he continued. "Returning to that other place is agony. I vow to remember -- the scent of a rose in bloom or wood smoke or fresh-baked bread. I tell myself that this time will be different, that I cannot possibly forget the crunch of snow beneath my feet or the taste of honey on my tongue. How could I not recall the touch of the sun's warmth on my face or a child's laughter or even just the feel of someone's hand in mine?"

He lifted Yugi's hand, gazing at their interlaced fingers as if it were the most precious sight in the world. It was a treasure, one he no longer took for granted, one he longed to keep forever. "But, always I am proved wrong. Memory is a fragile, fickle thing in the shadow realm, and none more so than the memory of touch. All-too-soon, I forget everything I had sworn to hold dear. The sensations evaporate like mist, leaving me with only the memory of memory."

"It sounds like torture." Yugi shuddered. "Isn't there some way to force Bakura to free you?"

"Bakura is dead. He's been dead for thousands of years." In Atem's fondest dreams, he pictured Ammut devouring the bastard's soul.

"Well, that's not fair! Shouldn't his death have released you from his spell? I mean, if he's dead, who makes all these stupid rules?"

"The rules… are. The first time I was summoned, I simply knew what I had to do. Just as I knew my master's name and that I was bound to serve him." Atem stroked the back of Yugi's hand, marveling at the smooth texture, wishing he could store the sensation to comfort him when the shadow realm reclaimed him. "I have learned new rules, with you."

A rueful smile twitched at Yugi's lips. "Do I want to know?"

"I don't know. Do you?" Atem teased. At Yugi's nod, Atem chuckled. "I have learned that I must sleep."

"You took a cat nap!"

"I never before knew I could eat without feeling sated."

"You mean you learned you have hollow legs." Yugi grinned, then ducked his head and cast a suddenly shy look up through his bangs. "Do… do you know how long you can stay? Is there a rule for that, too?"

"There may be. The question has never come up before." Atem tipped Yugi's chin up so that they were eye-to-eye. "I will know if a new rule emerges. I will feel… an inner pressure." A pressure that would turn to pain if he did not obey its demands. He didn't think Yugi needed to know that, though. "Have I answered your question to your satisfaction?"

Yugi nodded. "No wonder you thought I was an idiot for suggesting you sleep in the puzzle."

"It was odd." Atem smiled. "An idea as unique as everything else about you."

Yugi pretended to pout, and it was all Atem could do not to lean over and capture that oh-so-tempting, protruding lower lip between his own. "No one ever made that suggestion before?"

"No one ever allowed me to remain in the physical world long enough for it to matter where -- or if -- I slept." Atem trailed the tip of one finger along Yugi's jawline. "People were much more willing to accept a genie than you seem to be in this day and age. There were fewer questions." And most of those had centered on what Atem could do for them. No one had ever asked about his needs or wants. No one but Yugi.

Yugi's laugh was a bit breathless and he leaned into Atem's touch. "You can't blame me for that. I never dreamed anything like this could happen to me. I certainly never believed that there was such a thing as a real genie."

Atem pressed Yugi's hand over his heart. "I am real."

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That you are. Yugi let his fingers curl into the fabric of Atem's shirt. Beneath his fingertips, Atem's heart beat a strong rhythm, and the warmth of his body seemed to permeate Yugi through even that small contact between them. An electric tingle started in his fingers and spread through-out the rest of his body.

Oh, yes. Atem was very real.

Slowly, Yugi drew his hand away. The loss of Atem's heat made him shiver. He swallowed hard and cast around for something non-incriminating to say. He couldn't let Atem know how much just his nearness affected Yugi. "This was great. Thank you… for everything."

"Thank you." Atem smiled at Yugi's confused look. "For your forgiveness."

Embarrassed by the intensity of those mahogany eyes, Yugi rose and went to stand near the marble balustrade edging the open terrace. The breeze toyed with his hair as he stared out over the sea. He pressed his hands to the cool stone and tried to calm his racing pulse. He tensed when Atem glided up behind him.

"Master?"

"Please don't call me that." The words were barely a whisper. Yugi shivered at the heat he could feel radiating against his back. When Atem's arms wrapped around him and pulled him gently back against a warm, broad chest, he sighed. "Atem."

Unable to resist any longer, Yugi turned and pressed their bodies together. He slid his hands into Atem's hair, guiding his lips down to meet Yugi's mouth. Atem trembled, arms tightening, crushing Yugi to him. Their kiss was fierce and somehow desperate. When they parted, both gasping for breath, Yugi wound his arms around Atem and held on tight, unwilling to let go.

"Yugi?" Atem's breath whispered a caress along Yugi's cheek as he nuzzled Yugi's hair. His hands traced a burning path down Yugi's back, molding them even tighter together. "Please, master, tell me what you want."

Master. The word hit Yugi like a dousing of ice water. Atem was only doing this because Yugi was his master. Of course. Bitter laughter welled up inside him. Yugi almost choked on it, knowing that if he let it out, it would turn to something else. How could he have thought, even for a moment, that someone like Atem could want him? Selfish, awkward and, with his damaged leg...

Seto's parting words echoed cruelly in Yugi's ears. Did you really think that someone like me could ever fall in love with a cripple like you? And if Seto couldn't, why would Atem?

Yugi tried to shove Atem away, but the genie held him. "Let me go!"

Instantly, the genie released him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm… tired." The defeat in his voice surprised even Yugi. Wishing he had his cane, he limped across the terrace. In an instant, the scenery rippled and became his familiar hall. He steadied himself against one wall, exhaustion washing over him. He hadn't lied. He was tired -- mentally, emotionally, and physically. Tired of trying so hard, tired of getting his hopes crushed. Tired of being alone. Tired of wanting something he could never have.

"Yugi?" Atem stopped inches away, but didn't try to touch him again. "Whatever I did wrong, I am sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong." Yugi forced the words past the obstruction in his throat. His fingers dug into the frame of the bedroom door beside him. Atem was just being a good genie, trying to please his master, no matter how he really felt. Yugi told himself he couldn't hold it against Atem for obeying the damned genie rules. "Thanks for dinner. I'm going to bed now."

When the genie attempted to follow him into the bedroom, Yugi held up a hand. "I'm sorry, but I… I need to be alone right now. Please."

"… Very well." Atem reached past him and, when Yugi had stepped clear of the doorway, pulled the door closed between them. His voice reached Yugi clearly, even through the wooden barrier. "Good-night, master."

Atem's voice was soft, and Yugi found it too easy to pretend he heard disappointment in those words. Yeah, right. Tell yourself another one, Yugi. He's only worried that he's not doing his job. Soon enough, Yugi would make his three wishes and his genie would disappear forever. It came as something of a shock how much that thought hurt.

Mind shying away from the knowledge that his time with Atem was limited, Yugi undressed and climbed into bed. No one had ever made him feel this way before. Yugi knew he would compare all future men in his life to Atem -- and none would be the genie's equal.

As Yugi drifted into uneasy dreams, one thought chased itself in circles through his mind:

Life without Atem was going to suck.