Chapter Seven

Once the meeting broke up, Kara was surrounded by a swarm of people, asking questions about the plan or for news of friends and family who were still with the fleet. It was some time before she was able to tear herself away and by then the man she was after had disappeared out of the cavern.

She headed out into the passage and saw Tyrol.

"Have you seen Gaeta?"

Tyrol nodded. "I think he went to wait for Roslin in her office."

"Thanks." Kara walked quickly in that direction. Roslin was still busy answering questions, but she'd probably manage to get away before too long. Kara wanted to make sure she got a private word with Gaeta before that happened. She wanted to know exactly what had happened to Dee, and he appeared to be the person to ask.

The curtain across the entrance to Laura's office had been pulled shut, but Kara could hear Gaeta's voice as she approached.

"That's when we'll meet, then, unless I let you know otherwise."

"Do you think there'll be any problems, Felix?"

Kara stopped, startled. That was Lee's voice. And – Felix? She hadn't thought he and Gaeta were on first name terms.

"I don't anticipate any, Lee. He trusts me – he's too convinced of his own superiority to imagine I could be a threat to him." She'd never heard Gaeta speak with such contempt.

"More fool him. I'll see you then, Felix."

The curtain moved and Kara hurriedly took a pace backwards as Lee emerged from behind it.

He stopped dead when he saw her, a flicker of apprehension crossing his face before it settled into calm. It was so swift that only someone who knew him as well as she did would have caught it.

"Do you want something, Kara?" He sounded casual, but his eyes were watching her intently – trying to decide if she had overheard?

"Laura asked me to wait in her office for her. This is the right place, isn't it?" Let him think she had been hovering around because she was lost.

"Yes, it is." He looked suspicious, but he seemed to accept it. "Gaeta's already in there. I'll see you later."

He brushed past her before she could say anything more.

Kara looked after him, frowning. Interesting. What had he and Gaeta been talking about, and why didn't he want her to know about it?

She was going to get to the bottom of this.

----

"Hey, Gaeta," she said, pushing back the curtain and entering Laura's office. "Mind if I join you?"

"Of course not, Starbuck." He was looking slightly wary though. "It's good to see you again."

"Good to see you too," said Kara sincerely. "We've missed you in CIC."

"I hear you're the XO now? Congratulations."

"Thanks. Although I think the Old Man was forced to it through lack of other candidates." Kara grinned ruefully. "Sounds like you've been doing good work down here. Roslin says the resistance wouldn't have survived without your information."

Gaeta shifted awkwardly. "I do what I can."

"Must be tough, though," said Kara carefully. "Being on your guard the whole time-"

"It gets tiring," Gaeta admitted, sitting down on a blanket-covered crate. "And I used to think working in CIC was stressful." He sighed. "If someone had told me a year ago what I would be doing now, I would have-"

"What?" asked Kara curiously as he broke off.

Gaeta smiled bitterly. "Well, I would have kept my mouth shut about the presidential election being fixed, that's for sure."

What? The election had been fixed? By who? The comment almost diverted Kara, but she made herself ignore it. She had a purpose in talking to Gaeta, and she mustn't lose sight of it.

"I met Lee outside," she said casually. "Saw you were talking. How do you think he's doing?"

Gaeta stared at her for a moment, with an expression she couldn't read. Then a wry smile spread across his face.

"So that's it."

"What?"

"The reason for this friendly chat. You want to pump me for information about Lee."

"That's not it!" denied Kara instinctively. Gaeta looked at her sceptically, and she pulled a face. "Okay, maybe some of it is, but I am glad to see you again, Gaeta. It's just – I'm worried about Lee. Things aren't right with him. You know that, I can see it in your face."

Gaeta stared at her for a moment longer and then sighed, seeming to come to a decision. "I know he's a bit withdrawn-"

"A bit withdrawn? It's more than that!" said Kara fiercely. "Did you see him in the meeting just now? Hidden away at the back, barely listening – that's not Lee! He should have been up at the front with us organising everyone."

Gaeta sighed. "Okay, maybe it is more than that, but can you blame him? The man saw his wife die in front of him, Kara. You don't just get over something like that."

Kara froze at his words. She stared at him, struggling to find her voice.

"He saw Dee die?"

"Yes." Gaeta looked surprised. "Didn't you know?"

"No." Kara took a deep breath. "All Laura told me was that Dee died in the Cylon prison."

"Oh. Well, I suppose it's not common knowledge. I didn't really want to talk about it." Gaeta looked down at his tightly clenched hands. "I was the one who found her – found them – you know. I don't think I'll ever forget it. They'd beaten her so badly-" He choked.

"I'm sorry," said Kara, abruptly remembering how close he had been to Dee. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's all right," said Gaeta, although she could tell by his tone that it wasn't. "I just wish I'd acted sooner, you know? Realised sooner that she'd been arrested. If I had, I might have been in time-"

Kara found herself reaching out to put her hand on his shoulder. "You did the best you could. Think of all the other people who were freed that night. They wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

She felt Gaeta's back shudder under her hand as he struggled to control his breathing. "I suppose so. Thank you, Starbuck."

"No problem." She waited a minute for him to compose himself, then said quietly, "What did you mean when you said Lee saw her die? Was she still alive when you got there?"

Gaeta shook his head. "No. What I meant was that the Cylons killed her in front of Lee. Though I don't think they meant to kill her. It was a mistake. One of them 'miscalculated the force of his blows'," he said savagely. Kara had never seen him look so hard, or so bitter. "That's what their damned report said, anyway."

Kara was horrified. "They wrote a report?"

"Oh, yes. They're very meticulous about things like that. Put it all down, cool and clinical. Neither Ana or Lee were breaking under torture, so they decided to try something different to get them to talk. Try torturing one of them in front of the other, to see if the other would talk to save them." His voice faltered slightly. "They decided Lee had more valuable information than Ana did, so they picked her to torture. And that's why she died. Cylon logic."

Oh my gods.

Kara stared at Gaeta, swallowing hard as the full meaning of his words sank in.

"No wonder Lee has nightmares," she said finally.

Her throat tightened at the thought of what he must have been through, to watch Dee suffering like that, and know he had to stay silent and let it happen to protect the rest of the resistance-

"No wonder," said Gaeta in a brittle voice. "Have you seen the scars on his wrists? He'd cut himself nearly down to the bone trying to get free of his handcuffs and get to Ana by the time I got there."

Kara looked away, biting her lip. She couldn't imagine how Lee must have felt. Didn't want to.

Lee, who always felt he had to look after everyone else. To be put into a situation where he couldn't look after everyone, where whichever way he chose someone he cared for would suffer-

She could hardly bear to think about it.

Well, now she understood why Lee had withdrawn into himself the way he had. All too clearly.

"So if he's not quite himself at the moment," Gaeta said, "he's got reason. Don't push him."

Kara disagreed, although she didn't say so. She couldn't help thinking that Lee had got into this state precisely because no-one had pushed him. Because they had all done instead what most people did when faced with Lee stone-walling them and backed away. Let him keep them at a distance.

That wasn't what Lee needed. He needed someone to break those walls down, push him into living again.

Gaeta didn't know Lee like she did. No-one did.

----

Roslin and Tigh arrived before Kara had time to ask Gaeta about the conversation she'd heard between him and Lee. When the meeting finished Roslin delayed her with a few questions, and by the time she was finished Gaeta had already disappeared back to the town.

Kara went to find Racetrack.

"I want you to keep an eye on Lee for me. Tell me if he leaves the caves unexpectedly or at an unusual time."

Racetrack studied her consideringly. "Are you going to tell me why?"

"No, because I don't know why," said Kara honestly. "But Lee's up to something, and I'm afraid it will turn out to be dangerous."

"All right," said Racetrack after a moment. "I'll do it."

"Thanks," said Kara with relief. "I owe you one, Meg."

"Don't worry, I'll claim it back," said Racetrack with a smile.

"Do you know where Lee is now?" asked Kara. "He's not asleep, and he's not in the cavern either."

"Oh, he'll be on guard duty up at the lookout," said Racetrack immediately. "He does that most nights. I'll take you there."

Kara nodded her thanks and followed.

She thought it was time she started giving Lee that push.

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Author's Note

I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer than usual to find out what Lee and Felix are plotting and see Kara's idea of a heart-to-heart chat to get Lee to talk about his feelings (as she said, it isn't them :-) as I'm off on holiday for a week. Hope you'll all be back to read the next instalment then. Still, now you know what happened to Lee, and the circumstances under which he made that promise to Ana he was thinking about way back in chapter one.

And thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to review and tell me they're enjoying the story – that's what makes the hard work of writing it worthwhile.