Chapter 204
Boots
John Henry always worked hard to find out where Skynet or any trace of it was. Where was his 'brother'? Why was there the attack that appeared to be directed at Cameron and then nothing? There'd been no activity in Tehachapi since then. There'd been nothing anywhere. He'd sent Cameron to check out a few leads but they led nowhere. He was afraid they were stagnant. The protection details on the children were on their highest alert. Gail was not to take Jesse when she went to keep her focused. Cameron pulled more shifts or adding herself in on Young Allison's detail more frequently. She was there nearly every night and Allison went with her when Cameron was 'extra'.
John Henry was aware Cameron was mentoring Allison in everything from education to the arts, to child rearing. Cameron tried very hard to remake Allison in her image, as Cameron was made in Allison's image. Allison made Cameron better and Cameron made each Allison better. That would include even Young Allison. John Henry knew Cameron wanted to take Young Allison into 'protective custody'. The last idea was universally rejected by all.
The more Cameron was around Young Allison the more she wanted Young Allison as her 'own'. She was also mindful she would want to take the child from whichever of the girls had one first. She hoped she could control herself when the time came. If they were John's babies, that meant they were hers as well. She was sure the girls would understand….
Ethics and morals were not strong points on Terminators. It was about getting the job done and the mission accomplished. Very little mattered as to what happened in the middle of that equation. There was the goal and there was the result. It was just that simple.
It seemed the only moderating influence on Cameron was Savannah. She was special to all of them. Everyone acted 'different' in her presence. Every Terminator could 'feel' her touch when she greeted them. She always made physical contact with them and treated them as her equal. None of them were 'machines' to her. They were another form of life. If the 'Chosen One' could get to Cameron when she was about to have a 'problem', that 'problem' could be avoided.
Cameron held the thumb drive 'Pure Beauty' in her hand. She wanted to see the files more and more. She wanted the experiences that were on it. Once she downloaded them, they would be her experiences as well, Isabel-Cameron was her.
Her time alone with Allison was what drove her. The more she helped Allison the more she loved her. They would spend two nights a week together and the entire weekends on the protection detail.
They waited for Mrs. Young to call. It would be the foothold Cameron needed into the Young residence. This is what she wanted. After several weeks they hit 'pay dirt'.
Mrs. Young called for a baby sitter. It was decided that Allison should go by herself first. This was for personal reasons. Cameron also felt she would be able to handle any awkward situation on her own.
Allison went alone. She 'met' her father and saw her mother again before they went out. Cameron created a whole list of references for 'Allison Connor'. Allison figured Cameron chose that last name to be funny or push on her more. Cameron seemed to have a way of making a point. She was relentless in her goals.
Allison got to see her old room and all her childhood things. That was very moving to Allison to see her life still going where she'd left it. It was no long gone and destroyed. It was all still here and right in front of her. She never forgot her favorite toys or dolls. She held them in her hands with tears in her eyes and tears in her heart. What happened to the cute little girl that she once was? She was going to buy a bike for Young Allison on her birthday. It would be the bike she always wanted but never got. She wanted to buy her a silver mountain bike. Cameron was right outside next door. She was there to aid if anything bad happened.
As Allison played with Young Allison she reflected on Cameron. Cameron worked closely with her on her education and her drawings. She taught her dancing and painting. She wrote poems with her. They created some together. They completed each other's thoughts. Cameron was the most creative person she'd ever met.
Allison did not know that Cameron did these same things for Her Allison - Future Allison. She made Allison into a better person. To help make each Allison 'better' made her 'better'. It would also aid John better in the future. The more time they spent together, the more time they wanted to spend together. No Allison ever rejected her or tried to 'replace' her. None of the girls ever rejected her. The girls didn't want to replace her, they WANTED her. She could feel it. It made her 'want' them….
Cameron sadly reflected that it was Future John who rejected her and sent her away. It was John who rejected her and replaced her. The girls would NEVER do that to her. If she let them 'in', they would never abandon her.
All the time they spent alone together made Allison love Cameron even more. She wanted to be with Cameron as 'Cameron' so much. The personal time she spent with Isabel-Cameron was simply fantastic. It only made her hunger more for Cameron. The more she hungered, the hungrier she became for 'more'. She was ready one hundred percent to be with John now and forever if Cameron was there too, to share with her.
Other than to see her parents again, Allison quickly learned that taking care of a child was a lot of work and responsibility. She knew Cameron wanted her baby. It would be their baby if she was with John and Cameron both. A baby would be even more work. She sure hoped Cameron would help out with the babies…. She hoped Vanna would too.
For the next babysitting stint both Allison and Cameron went. Mr. Young was totally fascinated with Cameron the instant he saw her. He knew Cameron was the 'same' as Allison but different. There was something about her that was special…. Everything about Cameron 'captivated' him.
Allison saw it right away. She was a little jealous. Then again, she did not want her father to 'hit on' HER. She laughed to herself. He was clearly infatuated with what was essentially the teenage version of 'his daughter'.
'If only he knew'.' Allison thought.
Allison watched as Cameron interacted with Young Allison. Cameron was a natural. She did everything perfect. Yup, Cameron NEEDED to be there when she gave birth to John's babies. She watched a 'killing machine' perform as the most loving, gentle and caring person. She loved Cameron even more. Cameron taught Young Allison many things. They were advanced things she seemed to learn easily. That surprised her. Cameron was the greatest, THE GREATEST.
Cameron did not see Young Allison as a girl. She saw her as the future of the Resistance. She planned to train her to be as much like her as possible. With their 'foot in the door' she would not need to 'remove' Young Allison into 'protective custody'. Allison's parents would not need to be 'dealt' with to further her goals for Young Allison.
She did not make it clear to Allison what she wanted from Young Allison. She just intended to do it. She did not want any push-back or problems to arise. It was her long term goal to have Savannah and Young Allison at John's side as they battled Skynet in the future. This was her goal for both of the girls. Nothing was going to stop her from this goal. It was what Future John wanted. He wanted it for 'himself' - John.
Allison knew that the closer and closer she became to Cameron, the farther and farther she drifted from Vanna. It wasn't being done intentionally. It was just happening. Cameron was what was important to her. It was not a sexual relationship. Not yet anyway. Once it became that, she was done with Vanna.
Right now in her life Vanna and Jesse were just 'friends' to have sex with. They gave her some 'release'. They allowed her the 'finish' that she never was able to share with Cameron. The 'finish' was the goal. She soon did it almost exclusively on her own. She had better control and was able to direct her mind and thoughts where she wanted them. She was with herself at least ten times a day. One day it was twenty two times. It was beginning to be something she could not control. It was the frustration of her love for Cameron working against her, inside of her.
Allison felt sorry for Vanna. She told both Jesse and Vanna if she was away and they wanted to share it was fine for them to do so. She said she didn't have a problem with it as they all shared together many times. She wanted them to have each other 'more' as she concentrated on herself 'more'.
She enjoyed those sessions with all three of them. It was something they all looked forward to. She wondered if Vanna and Jesse were alone together a lot if she would end up getting 'replaced'.
Allison did not see that she was the one who 'replaced' them with Cameron and 'herself'. She wanted to talk to Vanna about it.
It was not a pleasant encounter the way it started off. The girls 'attacked' each other from the start. Maybe this was to mask the true nature of their feelings for each other. Those feelings ran deep.
"You've been spending a lot of time with Cameron." Vanna said.
Stab.
"You've been spending a lot of time with John and Isabel." Allison said.
Stab back.
The girls knew each other well enough to tell how this was going to go. It was not something to look forward to. They would each try a little moderation. It may or may not work.
"I don't want to fight, Allison." Vanna said.
Allison noted the concession. She tried to return it and be fair in the process.
"I don't either, Vanna." Allison said. "If you have the opportunity to be with John or Isabel, I want you to take it."
Vanna still felt that was a little slap in the face.
"And if you have the opportunity to be with any of them or Cameron, I want you to take it." Vanna said.
Allison felt the slap back. She wanted it to dig in a little.
"I will." Allison said. "Don't worry."
Vanna paused and looked at Allison. The tension was growing. Either of them could become a Bitch very quickly.
"I have been with Jesse several times alone. I've been lonely." Vanna said. "This is the first time I have been alone with anyone else but you in the past."
Allison returned her look. Maybe it was an attempt to reach out to her. The love between them was still there even if it was twisted somehow. She decided not to bring up Vanna wanted to be with Cameron and Sarah before. It was only because they didn't spread that it didn't happen.
"I know. I told her and you it was OK when I am away." Allison said as she now looked forward to being alone with Jesse herself. "We all love each other. We are all friends with 'benefits'."
Vanna offered a weak explanation of a possible reason. She missed Allison and needed someone when Allison was gone.
"Those nipple rings are the HOTTEST thing on her, Allison." Vanna said. "I can't resist them."
Allison knew Vanna had nice attributes too.
"Your 'smoothness' is the HOTTEST thing on you." Allison said.
Allison actually thought it was her 'pinkness' that was. She'd never been with anyone that was 'pinker' on the top and bottom.
Vanna hoped Allison would have said her pigmentation but she didn't. Even some of the men that abused her made comments about it.
"Jesse has started the treatments now." Vanna said.
Allison believed hair belonged on the head and nowhere else at this point since Vanna was this way.
"I would like to see that." Allison said.
Vanna still tried to hold on to the love that was misdirected.
"How about tonight, can you be there?" Vanna asked. "She would like to see you too…."
Allison frowned. It would have to wait. There was something more important that she wanted to do.
"Cameron and I will be out tonight." Allison said "Maybe after Jesse's last treatment."
Vanna looked sad.
"Allison, we have not been together for a long time…." Vanna said.
Allison did not like to see Vanna hurt but she did not feel guilty about anything. Life went on. Life moved forwards, not backwards.
"I know…." Allison said. "I've been busy."
Vanna could not help but to lash out in frustration.
"You're saving all your best for Cameron or Isabel, aren't you?" Vanna said angrily.
Allison held her tongue. She did not want to fight. She set down her player and walked away. She did not look back or answer.
'These Boots Are Made For Walking' by 'Nancy Sinatra', drifted around the cold room.
Vanna went in search of Jesse. The tears in her eyes were not as bad as the tears in her heart.
Dark Side
Our hearts bleed, lifeless, alone
Love cuts deep to the very bone
Have our lives just been blown
For things that are unknown
For love that we could only loan
Half of nothing, single, lone
Ourselves away we have thrown
Anything to feel and moan
To submit to life like a drone
Wishing we could make a clone
Into our bodies life's seed sown
Pain forever into our hearts sewn
It is they who have hearts of stone
Love itself having never flown
We worship them in our minds throne
Their dark side has forever shown
Nobody
Hurt Me If You Will
Hurt me if you will
Make me cry
Watch me bleed
Feel me die
I must feel emotion
Even if it is pain
Light me on fire
Smash my brain
Here's a sharp knife
I hand it to you with trust
Cut from my body
What you must
Hurt me if you will
Make me cry
Watch me bleed
Feel me die
Blind my eyes
Sever my tongue
Crush my nose
Collapse a lung
Slice off my organs
Make me scream
You are my Master
Forever I must deem
Hurt me if you will
Make me cry
Watch me bleed
Feel me die
Slice open my chest
Laugh as you start
With your bare hands
Rip out my heart
My broken remains gasp
The last words before death
Now and forever I cherish you
It was my final breath
Hurt me if you will
Make me cry
Watch me bleed
Feel me die
Nobody