Side A : Mahora Sensei Keitaro!

Written by Shaun Garin

Love Hina and Mahou Sensei Negima are owned and created by Ken Akamatsu.

Chapter 2 : Wish You Were Here!

"Brr, I feel a disturbance in the Force," intoned Shirai as he set down his pencil. "Something evil has happened."

"Something evil DID happen," said Haitani. "Keitaro has found time to hang out with pretty girls."

Keitaro gave them a baleful look. "They're my STUDENTS. And I AM studying for Tokyo U Exams. So what?"

"The mock exam results are tomorrow," said Haitani with a grin. "Do you think you're prepared for them?"

"Of course!" boasted Keitaro but inwardly, he cringed. "Leave it to me, I'll get into Tokyo U."

"Not from where I stand," said Naru from the other side of the desk. "I've seen your marks you know."

"Guuuuh," said Keitaro, sinking into depression. Naru sighed and shook her head. "Look, you need to focus. Besides that, why are you shooting for Tokyo U for a third time? I'd thought twice was bad enough."

"It's a difficult reason," said Keitaro.

"Try me," said Naru.

Keitaro sighed. "All right... do you think it's strange if I'm headed to Tokyo U for a reason? The reason being that say I made a promise with a girl fifteen years ago to go there... would that girl, I dunno, remember?"

Naru slammed her hands on the desk, startling the Four Eyed Freakfest. "Absolutely!" exclaimed Naru, eyes shining with passion.

"Eh?" said Keitaro as Naru went into something of a dreamworld.

"A childhood promise, fifteen years ago, reuniting lost loved ones, it's all so beautiful!"

Haitani leaned over to Shirai. "I suppose there really IS such a thing as a girl with the top marks in Tokyo who can act like a school girl."

"I know, especially someone like her."

"YOU JERKS!"

After Naru laid out the pair, Keitaro chuckled as he folded up his books. "I need to head out, Naru-san. I'll see you here tomorrow then?"

"I'll be here," said Naru. "What's the matter, you have to mark some of your pretty students?"

Keitaro flushed and stammered out, "No! I need to grade essays and Tama-chan will hurt me if I leave it to her!"

Naru blinked once. "Tama-chan?"

"My pet turtle."

"Your..." Naru's expression went flat. "Pet... turtle? Your pet turtle is marking essays? What kind of bizarre turtle IS she!"

"A smarter than average turtle," said Keitaro. "In any case, I gotta run before I miss the train to Mahora. I'll see you later, Naru-san."

There was a long and awkward pause before Naru picked up her bag. "No weirder than a talking ermine I suppose," she muttered to herself before heading out the door.

"It's been nearly four months since you began," said Shizuna as she stirred her tea with a delicate spoon with fine silver markings. "How do you feel?"

"Burnt out," said Keitaro, his head resting on the table. "Between teaching in the morning and then going to Sasaki Seminar for the rest of the day, I'm feeling burnt out."

Shizuna smiled and sipped her tea. "It is a hard schedule. When is your first actual Examination coming?"

"In a week, two weeks before the end of term," said Keitaro. "But I don't think I'm going to pass."

To Shizuna's questioning glance, Keitaro drew a page of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Shizuna. "Oh... dear..."

The paper simply read "49th Percentile. Chances of first choice, zero. You may wish to apply for another college." Shizuna's eyebrow twitched for a moment. 'These are worse grades than TAKAMICHI when he was in magic school...'

"Letter for Urashima Keitaro," said Kazumi, swinging by and placing a paper on Keitaro's head. "Sensei, you look terrible. Get some rest, okay?"

Keitaro made a moaning sound as Kazumi sped off on her bike. Shizuna picked up the letter and pulled the paper out. "Keitaro, there's a letter from the Headmaster."

"What does it say? That I'm being fired?"

"No... but if you don't pull 2-A out of last place during exams, you WILL be."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Keitaro passed out.

Shizuna looked at him and then at Tama-chan who did a turtle-shrug. "Myuh," offered Tama-chan, as little comfort as the turtle could offer.

Naru looked over at Keitaro who was snoring in his desk. Feeling a little bit of pity for the Ronin, she slammed her books next to him. Keitaro leapt out of slumber with a cry of "Yeeee! Asuna-san I didn't do it! Eh?"

"You were asleep again," said Naru sternly. "Honestly, don't you think you should get some more rest? Maybe get your pet turtle to teach the class?"

Keitaro moped and Naru's expression softened. "Something the matter? Besides lack of sleep there Ronin-sensei?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Naru-san," said Keitaro, rubbing his eyes. "I just found out today that I have to haul my class out of last place. Otherwise, I'm fired."

"What?" exclaimed Naru, getting out of her chair. "Are you sure? What'll happen to the class?"

"Probably Takamichi will take over, but it won't look good with the Headmaster and Granny Hinata." Keitaro yawned mightily. "I don't know what to do really."

"That's easy, get them studying. First, see who's the lowest and then work on them, making sure the rest of them are studying hard. Look, I don't know what kind of crazy thing the Headmaster is doing at my old school but you need to focus!"

"If you're such a good studying machine, why don't YOU help me out then?" exclaimed Keitaro.

Naru blinked twice and then said, "Fine! I will! I'll make a trip down there and help as a teachers aid for a week. Happy, Ronin-sensei?"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"Keep it down, we can't study here!" exclaimed Haitani as he struck Keitaro from behind and Keitaro fell into Naru's chest, pulling her skirt down with a flailing hand.

"PERVERTED IMP!" shouted Naru as she smashed Keitaro into the hallway. "Just for that, I'm NOT!"

"PHHRGH!" replied Keitaro as he went sailing through the window and onto the ground.

"You look tired sensei," said Asuna as Keitaro stumbled into the room. His book bag was hanging limply from his fingers and he looked pale and drawn out. "Are you all right?"

"The first prelim mock exam was terrible," moaned Keitaro, slumping face first into his futon that still sat on the ground next to the loft ladder. "I couldn't remember half the material!"

"Oh, poor sensei," said Konoka. "I know! Lets have a party to cheer him up!"

"Don't you think it's a bit early for that Konoka?" said Asuna, rubbing the back of her head. "I mean, it's only sensei's first exam. There's one more."

"But a party is just what he needs to revitalize his bones," said Konoka. "Oh, we need food and drinks, and I need to tell everyone!"

"Konoka, wait!" But Konoka was out the door as Asuna sighed and sat down. "So, I guess we're having a party."

Keitaro chuckled from the futon on the floor. "I suppose so."

"Hey, sensei? I gotta ask you something." said Asuna. "Why are you shooting for Tokyo U again?"

"It's a long story," said Keitaro. "You see, fifteen years ago, I made a promise to a girl I don't even remember now. We promised to go to Tokyo U together. It sounds silly but that's why I'm trying so hard. Weird huh?"

"NOT AT ALL!" Exclaimed Asuna loudly and for a moment, Keitaro thought Naru was in the room. "Sensei, that's a WONDERFUL thing! It's so ROMANTIC! Aaaaaah, I wish Takahata-sensei made that kind of promise with me," sighed Asuna as she was lost in her fantasy.

Keitaro leaned to the side in surprise and shock while thinking of Naru. "Guess there really is a saying in girls think alike."

"Congratulations, Keitaro-sensei!" cheered the girls as the dorm lawn was all lit up for the festivities.

"It's just the first day," said Keitaro but he was generally ignored for the chance to party. Sighing, Keitaro took a sip of his drink as Yue sat down next to him.

"Evening, sensei," said Yue.

"Oh, Ayase-san," said Keitaro. "Aren't you going to go out and party with your friends?"

"No, they're just a bunch of idiots at times, celebrating when you haven't made the second stage," said Yue practically. True to form, the girls were celebrating wildly out there. Somewhere in the melee, half of the Baka Rangers had lost their tops because of some kind of improv version of Baseball Janken.

"I guess," said Keitaro, uncertain of Yue's statement.

"I don't mean that they're idiots really, sensei," said Yue. "But they get too wild at times."

"I understand. You mean well, but it's too soon to celebrate." Keitaro sipped his drink and sighed. "I don't think I did too well on the first part of the exam."

"You need to continue trying sensei," said Yue. "Like it or not, most of the girls are rooting for you."

"And the other half?"

"Think you're a perverted klutz who's shacking up with the spitfire and the innocent mischief maker."

Keitaro sagged. And he drank a bit more. Looking around, he frowned for a moment. "I don't see Miyazaki-san anywhere."

"Nodoka isn't much for parties," said Yue. "And she's not very comfortable around men."

"I suppose crashing into her naked wasn't good either," said Keitaro, wincing as he reminisced about the terrible first day. "If you can, can you please tell Miyazaki-san I'm sorry for the whole incident in the baths?"

"You should tell her yourself, sensei," said Yue. "You saved her from a bad fall but immediately traumatized her once more by falling into her chest and then pulling her skirt down. Nodoka is very sensitive about these things."

Keitaro sighed. "I see. I understand completely Ayase-san."

"That's good. Oh dear, I think the Baka Rangers are calling in a ringer." Yue sighed and discarded her empty juice box. "Please stop us if we get out of hand, sensei."

"Er, right." And then Keitaro was struck from behind by the flying kicks of the Narutaki twins.

"Sensei! Come and play with us!" demanded the girls as he was kicked around like a football. Tama-chan commandeered his drink.

Keitaro set down the marking pen he used and sighed. "I don't know, Tama-chan."

"Myuh?" offered Tama-chan, looking up from the stack of papers she too graded. Many of them were marked with black X's.

"I'm trying, damn I'm trying. But between my own exams going badly yesterday and the ultimatum of getting fired, I'm feeling terrible." Keitaro picked up Tama-chan, looked at the curious face and then began to cry. "I don't know what to do, Tama-chan! My life is a complete mess!"

"Myu! Myuuu, myuh MYUUUUH!" Exclaimed Tama-chan, freaking out with Keitaro.

"I'm... a terrible sensei," said Keitaro, slumping to the desk.

'Poor Keitaro-sensei,' thought Asuna as she and Konoka watched him scramble to mark the papers.

Later that night in the baths, Asuna looked up at the window ceiling and sighed. Sinking to her mouth, she blew a couple of bubbles for a moment as Konoka watched Asuna sigh.

"He... really is trying, Asuna," said Konoka after a little bit. "Sensei isn't the type of person to give up."

"But he's been rolling around, flailing his arms and screaming "I can't do it" for the last week and a half," said Asuna. "Any more and I think there'll be a permanent groove for him to roll in."

"You guys talking about Keitaro-sensei?" asked Kaede as the rest of the Baka Rangers walked into the bathing area.

"Keitaro-sensei is trying his hardest to get all of us caught up," said Konoka. "Otherwise, the headmaster is going to fire him."

"What? But he can't be fired!" protested Makie. "He just started and we all saw him freak out during the actual Entrance Exam week!"

"I know, but if we're going to get out of last place, then he won't be," said Konoka.

"Mmm, that's a difficult thing to do," remarked Yue as she sipped her juice. "Out of all of the class, we're dragging the school down."

"It's hopeless-aru," sighed Ku Fei. "We have as much a chance of passing as Asuna does-aru. No offense-aru."

"None taken, I wouldn't even bet on myself anyhow," said Asuna with a lacklustre giggle but there was no mirth behind it. "Look, he really is trying. I say we study our backsides off and get that Final Exam worked out, all right?"

"If that's the case, it'll take a miracle," sighed Makie.

"Then... we may just have to look for that." said Yue, bringing attention to herself. "Library Island goes deep, much further than most people think it goes. Legend has it that there is a magical book at the bottom of the library that can increase the intelligence of anyone using it. Maybe if we find it, then that'll bring up our chances of getting out of last place."

"A.. magic book?" said Konoka. "Could magic really exist?"

"It's worth a shot," said Kaede. "There's a chance we can find it. How long do you think we would be down there?"

"I'd estimate at least twelve hours back and forth," said Yue. "Although no one has made it that far yet."

"Well then..." said Asuna. "I'm going to go! To Library Island!"

"YEAH!" The girls chorused.

"Hmm? Is someone in here ACK!"

"EEEEK! SENSEI'S A PERVERT!" Screamed Makie as Asuna was immediately in Keitaro's face with a flying kick.

"TAKE A BATH IN THE ROOM!" Asuna shouted, kicking him through the doors as Keitaro let out a "AUGH! ALRIGHT!"

"I know this is for the good of the class, but isn't this a bit extreme?" Keitaro said, asking no one in particular. "We've been down here for at least six hours by now."

"Are you all right back there, Keitaro-sensei?" asked Konoka curiously as Keitaro wiggled through the smaller crawlspace.

"I'll be fine," said Keitaro. "It's a little tight though."

"How did your exams go?"

Keitaro sighed. "Well I won't know for another two days. Till then, the best I can hope for is to wait. Although I didn't do very good in math and English... I SUCK AT EVERYTHING!"

Konoka could only sigh. "Keitaro-sensei, don't worry. We're all right behind you."

"Thanks Konoka-chan," said Keitaro and Konoka smiled brightly.

"We're probably the first people down here in years," said Yue as the Baka Rangers shimmied through the small crawlspace. "Leave it up to the Baka Rangers for sheer guts and athletic prowess."

Pushing the flagstone up and out, Yue poked her head out of the hole, followed by the rest of herself. The rest of the Baka Rangers, Asuna, Makie, Ku Fei and Kaede followed close behind with Konoka and Keitaro bringing up the rear with Tama-chan floating behind them. "Wow, this is something else," said Konoka in awe.

"And there. That's the magical book," said Yue, pointing at the platform with the book on it.

"I can't make out any markings from here," said Keitaro. "Can you?"

Asuna shook her head. "Nope. You think it's a trap though?"

"Gotta be," said Keitaro. "I mean... wait, hello." With a triumphant cry, he fished out a jar with three eyes marking it. "Look at this! It must be at least a hundred years old!"

"Sensei!" exclaimed Makie as the stone statues began to move. "They're alive!"

"Oh shit!" exclaimed Keitaro in a panic. "Anyone have a weapon? Perhaps from Final Fantasy or maybe the Gunbuster!"

"I have my answer-aru," exclaimed Ku Fei as she dropped into a fighting stance. Kaede's feet shifted a bit more but she still wore the relaxed expression.

"Seekers of the book," rumbled the first stone giant. "Answer my questions correctly and you may have the book of Melusedek. Fail and be punished."

"Oh well that's fun," swallowed Makie and Asuna nodded in reply.

"First, answer this question. Translate this phrase into Japanese. 'The world of men, has fallen. The time of victory is at hand.'"

There was a short pondering and then Makie exclaimed, "The world of men, has fallen! The time of victory is at hand!"

"Next, translate this word into Japanese. Plate."

"I get it now," said Keitaro and the girls looked at him. "Keep answering the questions! It's a test, designed to challenge our mastery of the English Language!"

And the battle went on, ranging in between Adverbs to pronouns to whole phrases and pop culture sayings until the last question was asked.

"Translate this phrase. When two people who like each other go to Toudai together, they will be together forever."

Keitaro's heart caught in his throat. 'Tokyo U? When two people... go to Toudai together...'

"Sensei?" asked Kaede. "Is everything all right?"

"I'm... fine. Go, answer the question."

Kaede nodded and repeated the phrase in English and the rock golems relaxed their stances of attack.

"Very good. Take the book. There is a passage to the surface to the left of the chambers."

With almost an awed reverence, Yue removed the book and held it up. "Victory!" she exclaimed happily, although her expression was to say the least deadpan at best.

As the girls found the elevator to the surface, Keitaro looked at the golems. "The promise... fifteen years ago. How does it seem to get around?"

"C'mon sensei, leave the pot behind!" called out Konoka.

"Coming, coming! Ack!" Tripping on a piece of rock, Keitaro went flying into the elevator as it dinged into the "OK!" sign. Shouts of "Sensei you pervert!" could be heard along with giggles and cries of "No not there!" with the occasional "Myuh!" thrown in for flavour.

"SUNLIGHT!" exclaimed Konoka, cheering as they emerged in the broad daylight. "What day is it?"

"Only a half a day has passed," said Keitaro, checking his cell phone. "You girls did great on that mission."

"And we got a legendary book to boot-aru!" cried Ku Fei as she held up the Book of Melusedek. "Go Baka Rangers!"

Yue smiled and sipped her juice as the others celebrated wildly. Keitaro laughed. "You girls did great. Go and get some rest and we'll do some more reviewing this evening in the fifth floor lobby of the girls dorm, all right?"

As the small group of Baka Rangers and support team from the Library Exploration Group headed to the other side, Yue fell in step with Keitaro. "Thank you for your help today, sensei," she said in her calm even tones. "We really made it through in record time."

"It was all of you," said Keitaro with a smile. "You girls made the difference, not me. I was just there, cheering you all on."

Yue flushed a little. "Thank you... Keitaro-sensei."

"Keitaro-sensei!"

"BLAUGH!" Keitaro was kicked solidly in the head as Makie and Ku Fei jump kicked him in the head. "Keitaro-sensei, you need to get going!"

"Whatever for?" asked Keitaro and then the shock sunk in. "The date! What's the date!"

"Is the fifteenth!" exclaimed Ku Fei. "The announcement now-aru?"

Keitaro opened his mouth to panic wildly but paused. "Fifteenth? Ha... hahahahaha! No, the announcement isn't until the seventeenth."

"But sensei, that's the date of the finals! Aren't you going to stick around?" asked Makie and the other girls watched him for his response.

"I'd love to, but you forget. Your sensei is a Ronin as well." Keitaro smiled and placed a hand on Makie's shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll still be here when you guys are done. I promise."

With that, Keitaro yawned. "Well, I'm going to the dorms to sleep. Wake me up tonight, all right?"

"Wow..." said Asuna as she watched Keitaro walk away. "Keitaro-sensei is so... cool..."

"ACK!"

"PERVERT!"

"PHRRGH!"

Asuna sweated embarrassed as a group of college-age girls beat on their sensei and the collective girls laughed at their sensei's plight. "Well... most of the time anyhow." She allowed.