Title: Just like a Girl
Author: Ashley Marie aka AbayJ
Disclaimer: I own nada…
Rating: M for language
Archiving or Spreading: Just ask and of course give me credit
Genre: Drama/Angst/Song Fic
Couple: Journey -- Hints of JaSam, Casper, NiCo, Sason, and AJ/Court
Summery: She looked like a girl who had been left out in the cold again.
Warning: I did edit this, but I am horrible at it.
Author's Note I : Okay, a quick one piece fiction. Was bored during a class and wrote most of this. Song belongs to Anna Nalick, let me know what you think.: Just like a Girl: Ashley Marie aka AbayJ: I own nada…: M for language: Just ask and of course give me credit: Drama/Angst/Song Fic : Journey -- Hints of JaSam, Casper, NiCo, Sason, and AJ/Court: She looked like a girl who had been left out in the cold again.: I did edit this, but I am horrible at it. : Okay, a quick one piece fiction. Was bored during a class and wrote most of this. Song belongs to Anna Nalick, let me know what you think.
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason
I looked at the girl who had called me, and that was what she was, or what she looked like anyway. A girl who had been left out in the cold and she had, yet again. The man who had said she loved her had left. All over again. Just like I had but I was here to pick up the pieces, like no one had done for her when I had left. Shaking my head, I walked over to her and took her in my arms. Holding her close and stroking her hair.
Why did people always do this to her? Why did they always hurt her? Why did I? Shaking my head, I ignore the questions and pull away. Grabbing her hand and lead us up the stairs. Going to the one place when I knew I could help her.
It was like this every time. Every time I would lead her up these very stairs and down the street, until we reached Harbor View Towers. Riding the elevator up to the top floor, we would both step out, my hands around her shoulders and then we would walk into the Penthouse. Shutting the door with a click and she would turn, wrapping her arms around my neck and our lips would find each other. Our hands would reach for each other and when we were both to weak with need to go any farther, we would fall to the floor and make love.
This would be no different I was sure. Leading her through the double doors at Harbor View, I walk us to the elevator. Her hand still tightly holding on to mine. She still looked vulnerable. It broke my heart. Shaking my head, I step in when the doors open with a ding and she does what she always does when we walk in and the doors close. She grabs my head and brings it down to hers. Kissing me passionately. Her tongue stroking my lips before I let it into my mouth and she sighs against me. Our tongues duel and when I can no longer hold my breath, I break away with a sigh.
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
"What happened this time?"
I ask her quietly as I lean my head against hers, my hand cupping her face and stroking her cheek softly. She only looks up at me with those ocean blue eyes that were wet with tears and shakes her head.
"He, he's chose her."
She just says and I know what she means, this happened to many times to count. He would choose his true love and Courtney would be banished from his life until Emily left again, then Nikolas would come begging for her back.
"This time, Alexis has divorce papers drawn up."
She adds and jerks away from my arms, running a jerky hand through her hair and looking back at me. Her teeth biting down hard on the kiss swollen lip. Shake my head, I look at the ceiling and sigh.
"He'll always choose Emily."
I say calmly, part of me was almost happy though, this time it could be the last time.
"And AJ will always choose revenge, Jax will always choose Brenda, and you will always choose Sonny, I know the drill dammit!"
She curses towards me and I am almost shocked at her outburst but I can only stare at her. I look up and watch the numbers climb toward the top floor but before it can, I hit the emergency stop button and we shudder to the stop. To much was spinning in my head and her words seemed to only intensify the feelings.
"I didn't choose Sonny over you."
My words are cold by calm and I watch her head snap up.
"So slamming the door in my face after I tried to SAVE you! After I pleaded with you not to sign the divorce papers? or how about this, did you lie for Sonny or did do it for yourself when you lied about Sam's baby."
May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.
I take a deep breath at the accusations. they were all true but the whole time, I had been pleading with myself not to shut the door in her face or to be able to go take the lies about Sam's baby away, but I couldn't have but I didn't choose Sonny over her, I did what I did because I had thought she would be better away from me then with me.
"I did it to protect you and get you away from this life!"
I say and shake my head, moving over to her, grabbing her upper arms.
"You couldn't handle this, you proved that when you helped Lorenzo."
She looks at me coldly and jerks away from me, moving away and laughs, her laugh was bitter though.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't want to see two people I loved arrested! I didn't want to see you going to jail for killing Alcazar and I didn't want to see Carly tried as a accomplice."
She shouts at me and moves to the buttons, ready to release the button and let the elevator begin moving again but I reach out and stop her, grabbing her and pinning her against the wall.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe
"I would have protected Carly and myself."
I tell her but she only shakes her head and tears softly fall faster then before. My heart breaks and I can only watch them.
"I was scared Jason, so fucking scared. I'd lost our baby, I couldn't stand to loose the man I loved and my best friend, I couldn't handle another loss."
She said, her voice cracking on each word and I had to make some of them out through the veil of tears that clogged her throat. She looked more vulnerable then I had ever seen her before and my own voice became husky.
"You could never loose me Courtney."
I tell her, meaning more then the past but the future too. She meant to much to me, in a way, she was my best friend. Carly held that place for so long but after so many ups and downs, Courtney had seemed to fill that role. Courtney was dependable and trustworthy.
"But I did, the day you lied to me."
There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
She whispers and pushes me away from her. This time reaching the knob before I can stop her and when the door opens with a ding, she walks out into the hallway and looks back at me.
"Can...can we please just be...just be like before the elevator."
She asks me, her cheeks still wet with her tears and her voice still horsed and I knew I couldn't say no to her. I had never been able to and tonight would be no different so I only nod my head. Walking past her and to the door, I let us both in and before I am sure the door is even shut all of the way, she is in my arms, bringing our lips together passionately and the scenario that had played out for month unfolds, our bodies pressing together and our joining together as one. Finding the one release that didn't hurt so much.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
My eyes open as I feel something move away from me, as I feel the warmth of her warm body leave me. Shaking my head, I look over at her as she dressed.
"Going back?"
I ask calmly, knowing the truth. It hurt, I hated knowing that as soon as we made love, she would be back with him, in his arms when she was still warm from mine.
"I...I'm going to get a room at Kelly's."
She says and finishes dressing. Looking up the stairs and back at me. I knew she what she was thinking. She thought Sam would be coming down soon or coming in through the door. She wasn't though. She was with some man that I really could care less about. Sam and I had been over since the night she found comfort in Ric Lansing arms, who own mother's husband.
"She's not coming back..."
I mumble quietly and stand, pulling on my boxers before moving to the kitchen and grabbing a beer, taking a large gulp before turning around and looking at her. She had followed me, which was a surprise but part of me knew what would come next.
"I see, then...then can I stay the night?"
She asks in the small voice and I just nod. Throwing the now empty beer bottle in the trash can.
"Do what the hell you want Courtney..."
My voice takes a sharp edge to it and I move back to the living room. Grabbing my jeans and pulling them on.
"Once you know what you want, get back to me."
I mutter and walk out the door, slipping my boots and shoes on as I do but before I can make it to the elevator, I feel a small hand grab my arm. Looking over at her, I raise a brow.
"Yes..."
I say softly and I am cut off, her lips crush against mine and I'm pulling her towards me again, Knowing this was how it would always be. These nights were all we would ever be granted. Two cars in the middle of the night, until one of us finally crashed and burned.
But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the tableNo one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.