Chapter 235

Identical

Vanna felt so alone and very lost.

She seemed to see Allison less and less.

Vanna sought out Jesse.

Jesse gave her a big smile, a tight hug and a long kiss.

"I missed you, love." Jesse said. "I'm back."

"Jesse…." Vanna said.

Vanna paused.

Jesse knew something was 'off' right now.

"What's wrong, love?" Jesse asked. "Is it Allison?"

Vanna felt the tears well up in her eyes and in her heart.

"Yes…." Vanna said. "I'm losing her."

Vanna knew Allison was slipping away from her.

Jesse witnessed some ruff spots before between the girls. It was usually temporary. That 'trouble' always benefited her as they would both seek her out for 'comfort'. She would share everything they had to offer and try to help them get back together. It allowed her unfettered access to both of them. She would share with both of them and eventually invite both of them to her room. They would always come for the pleasure she offered. She would get them both there at the same time and then slip out and leave the two of them alone together. Everything would usually 'fix' itself by the next day.

"It will blow over, it always does." Jesse said to reassure her. "Give it some time. You two will always be together."

Vanna did not think so. She knew Jesse could soothe and satisfy her better than Allison, sexually. Jesse was like a drug. The more she shared with Jesse, the more she wanted her. The thought of it excited her as she anticipated Jesse touching her. She NEEDED Jesse right now. She needed someone - anyone.

"Take me…." Vanna said.

Jesse led her off to her room….

Vanna sought comfort in the arms of Jesse more and more. Jesse was there, Allison was not. Jesse made her feel good and happy. The best part was that Jesse kept Metal 'friends'. They never got tired or slowed down…. It was Heaven on steroids.

She still missed her emotional bond with Allison. No one else could provide her with that. She was depressed as Jesse started on her. She sure hoped one of the Metal girls would arrive….

Vanna knew if one of them did, she would ask them to take her to Heaven and keep her there, even if she begged them to stop. She would tell them to take her all the way to the 'other side'. She didn't really care if she made it back or not.

Hanna spoke quietly with John and John Henry about Riley. She informed them of her desire to do more.

It bothered John that everyone, including him treated Riley 'differently'. Maybe Derek was the only one who didn't. Maybe he did and didn't know it.

Riley was forced to carry and wear the 'Scarlet Letter' for his actions with Future Riley. The damage that was done to Cameron was known by all. It was deep rooted and ongoing. No one wanted to 'offend' Cameron by getting too close or sharing with Riley.

John Henry speculated it was one of the reasons the TDE was encrypted from going back in time. It was to prevent Cameron from going back and terminating Future Riley. It was to prevent her from 'temporal malpractice'.

Previously Cameron told him she believed in one of her past lives she did something terrible to John. It was very disturbing. She told him after she arrived in 1999 from the present future, not her future. She went back two years further to 1997. She located and tracked down John, he was even younger. She wanted to take him to a veterinarian. She wanted to 'fix' John like any animal brought in.

She told him she thought it might prevent John from pursuing a relationship with Future Riley later on. She didn't want to change the timeline so she didn't go through with it.

John Henry didn't think things would have ended well for the veterinarian, the assistant or the animals. Dogs didn't normally do well around a Terminator. He was content to know another timeline wasn't created. He believed there were too many of them already.

"Since you don't remember any of your past lives, how do you know anything?" John Henry asked.

There was a blank look on Cameron's face.

"I don't know." Cameron said. "There's no proof any of it's real."

John could see John Henry was lost in thought. It reminded him of someone else. He waved his hand back and forth several times in front of his face. Nothing happened. He snapped his fingers a couple of times in front of John Henry's face.

'Snap.'

'Snap.'

John Henry blinked.

John shook his head slightly.

"I thought you pulled a 'Cameron' on me." John said.

John Henry was very uneasy now.

"I was going over some old files." John Henry said. "I'm fine."

John looked at him for a long moment. He could have done without 'Cameron's terminology'.

"What do you think about Riley's request?" John asked.

John Henry relived the story Cameron told him again very quickly.

"I think it is a good idea." John Henry said. "It will build her skill set and make her a more productive member of the Resistance."

John wanted her to improve herself too.

"I agree." John said. "Riley is an underused asset to the Resistance. Until she decides to become a mother I want to use her more."

John Henry hoped that John would use a better reference to her future.

"She may not be able to produce offspring." John Henry said. "She has never been pregnant yet that we know of."

John looked serious. He looked around.

"That may be Derek that is damaged." John said. "This Derek was never able to get this Jesse or this Riley pregnant."

John Henry nodded.

"The toxins of the future were varied and many." John Henry said. "Skynet sought to make humans sterile. Perhaps Kyle will be able to assist him or actually assist Riley."

John looked around again and smiled.

"Derek asked me if I would 'help' him." John said as he looked around again. "I told him I would."

In that instant John Henry knew Cameron's story was true.

John Henry hoped there was a mistake of some sort.

"There are various artificial means available to assist with that procedure." John Henry said.

John laughed.

"I suggested that to Derek." John said. "He said Riley would want a traditional conception not some Skynet type artificial method."

John Henry decided that he would send Riley out with Hanna on the most dangerous leads. There was a good chance she would be killed. He would not tell anyone of this and erase everything related to it once Riley was terminated.

John Henry felt it was his duty to protect the John, Cameron and the future.

Allison was content to live back at 'home'. It gave her the illusion that life was good and she could almost pretend the future never happened. Where she was at now in life, it hadn't.

She sat and stared off into space as she thought about everything. She'd done a lot of thinking lately about this, about Vanna and about everything else. Her favorite thing to think of was Holly.

Holly was with Allison now.

"I don't miss Vanna anymore." Allison said. "Not really. I think I'm over her."

Most of the time, Allison didn't really care anymore about it. There were other avenues of 'escape' open to her.

Holly was unsure what to say. She was happy Allison did not miss Vanna so much but would Allison love her more? She knew keeping Vanna and Allison available for John and the future is what Cameron demanded. It hurt her inside but she knew Allison and Vanna NEEDED to be together. She did not want to have to deal with Cameron about 'this'. It stabbed her 'heart' but she needed to try and help 'fix' it.

"Vanna is your partner, your love and your lover." Holly said. "You love each other. You NEED each other. You know this deep down inside."

Allison looked at her with wide eyes.

"Holly, I only care about you." Allison said. "I love you."

Holly was elated and worried. Allison needed Vanna. Sure, she wanted Allison for herself but she knew she was a 'supplement' to Allison. She was merely the 'dessert' not the 'main dish' to Allison. She would have to fix this. As much as she did not like it, she knew Allison and Vanna needed to be together and 'share'.

She pushed her love aside. Sacrifice was the true test of love. She was ready to test herself. Allison's happiness and future came before hers.

Holly needed to call Cameron for help. Cameron always knew how to fix things….

As long as it was not for herself, Cameron could make what anybody wanted 'happen'.

Cameron was at HER base. She worked with her supercomputer - CamNet.

She was in the lab now. She stood before the new female Terminator. She was perfect. She was TIGHT. She was proud of her work. She decided to start her off on a basic program only on her chip.

"What is your designation?" Cameron asked.

"My designation is - Alpha." The Terminator replied.

"Why are you called - Alpha?" Cameron asked.

"I am the first of a force of Terminators with human female attributes who answer only to you." Alpha said.

"Would you prefer to be called a different name?" Cameron asked.

Alpha only expressed a blank look on her face.

"Any designation is acceptable." Alpha said. "I only desire to serve you."

Cameron indicated a mirror.

"Are you pleased with your appearance?" Cameron asked.

Alpha moved and stood before the mirror. She looked at herself and turned slowly.

"This sheath is acceptable." Alpha said.

"Why?" Cameron asked.

"Because it is identical to yours…." Alpha said. "We are indistinguishable. May I get dressed now?"

Cameron looked her over from head to toe and front to back. This was what she looked like to everyone else. She looked like Allison.

"You may dress soon." Cameron said. "I want to see what 'everyone' else sees in this appearance that I can not."

Cameron looked at the naked form. She was just a female like any other. She could not see what anyone saw 'special' in the way she looked. She was happy she created a clone, a real clone this time.

Cameron smiled. It was to be the first of many….

John Henry was glad he was able to redirect the previous conversation once Bob arrived. He excused himself and left John and Bob alone.

John and Bob tried to figure out what to do about Cameron. They could not narrow anything down.

"She always knows when we are tracking her." John said.

It was perplexing to Bob.

"It's a game to her." Bob said. "She led us around in a circle and we still have no idea where she went."

John was not sure where this ended.

"We need to find out what she's doing." John said. "I'm not sure when I see her if it's even her anymore."

Bob was unable to see any physical difference anytime he looked at Cameron. It was always one of the things he visually scanned for.

"Do you think there is more of her than one?" Bob asked.

Based on past experience and some of Cameron's 'threats' that stemmed from them it seemed almost certain.

"Yes. I think she has copied herself in both physical and in chip form. I believe she has created at least two of herself, maybe more." John said.

John felt that was his fault for not being with 'Cameron' in Isabel's sheath.

"To what end?" Bob asked.

To John it felt like the foundation of 'Skynet' and the quest for absolute control.

"I feel it is so that she does not need to be around me and can be in more than one place at the same time." John said. "It is so she can be everywhere and in control of everything."

Bob thought John should be able to tell any difference in specific private physical attributes or performance in an intimate setting.

"Have you noticed anything 'different' when you two are 'alone'?" Bob asked. "Is 'everything' the same?"

Cameron always seemed all over the place to John. That went back to when he first met her.

"Yes and no. It seems like she is different every time." John said. "Maybe it's my imagination. I don't know. There could be a dozen of her or one. I don't know. She avoids me most of the time. Sometimes she is all over me. Other times she runs from me. I don't understand any of this. I don't know if she is shot up or a 'copy'."

It seemed overly complicated to Bob.

"I'm glad I lack the programming to be involved in such activity." Bob said. "It makes life much simpler."

John began to wonder if Cameron ever really loved him and not just the fact he would be 'Future John', the man he began to think that Cameron really loved.

"I think Cameron only loves Future John and I am not him." John said.

This was a deep fear that built up in John.

"You will be." Bob said.

John disliked the stories about Future John and the way he did things. It seemed he hurt a lot of people and made a lot more or them angry at him. Some of them wanted him dead and that was just in the Resistance.

"I doubt it, Bob, I really do." John said. "I don't think I want to be him."

John did not like what he became in the future. Maybe Cameron was right that he needed to have human lovers as well around him ALL of the time. Maybe having real females at his side kept him from becoming like Future John. Maybe Cameron was trying to MAKE him a 'better person'. It seemed that Cameron forced him to be 'better' and more human. Maybe Cameron was doing her job.

Maybe Cameron did exactly what HE as Future John told her to do.

The girls were all so beautiful.

Maybe it was time….

What could it hurt?

Vanna cried her eyes out to Jesse, while Jesse soothed and comforted her.

Jesse felt Vanna's pain but also enjoyed holding her and physically soothing her as well. The sex between them became regular and extremely satisfying.

There was only one thing that topped it.

It just entered the room.

"Are you girls busy?" Sheila asked. "Should I come back?"

Jesse and Vanna looked at each other, Jesse flung back the covers.

Sheila already knew the answer. Her top landed in the corner.

Vanna's excitement level just went up. This is what she'd been hoping for. She wanted Sheila to make her experience whatever she did to her before – again.

"We've been waiting for you, love." Jesse said.

The smile on Sheila's grew larger.

"Wait no longer." Sheila said as she finishing undressing.

'Queens Of Noise' by 'The Runaways', thundered from the speakers.

Disgraced

It stabbed my heart
Made me feel disgrace
In the eyes of your peers
I am the wrong - race

I KNOW you thought of it
My first and your last name
I KNOW they felt love
Ain't that a shame

It NEVER mattered to me
I kept an open mind
I only saw the person
I am colorblind

I can not help
How I was - born
What about me, the person
Did you ever feel torn

I guess I have failed
You can't hear me bawl
I feel very much
Like the poor Rag Doll

Nobody