Faces in the sand…
Disclaimer: I still don't own Fushigi Yuugi. And there you have it folks! No sue! Okay?
Author's Note:
I'd like to thank the following reviewers,
Kristall: I am really glad you reviewed. I hope you like this chapter too.
Critias: I am so happy that you're writing a story. I am sure you won't copy my idea. And I am sure your story is going to be good. I am looking forward to reading it. And I hope you're looking forward for this chapter too...U
So here we are folks! At the beginning of the last chapter. Hope you liked the story and hope you shall continue to read my future endeavors. I still have an epilogue to post so this won't technically be the last chapter…but what the heck! Thanks folks!
Anarya of Lorien.
Chapter XIII:
The crimson skies above seemed to redden as the sun sank deeper into the horizon. There was a tap on my shoulder as I stood on the balcony that looked out towards the palace. In a way, it was nice being back into the welcome arms of home. I turned back to smile at my uncle who gazed at me with anxious eyes. Gone was the man who had thundered at me as I blatantly refused to leave Khonan!
Here stood the old Rajamithra…one who deeply cared for his country and for his niece.
"Adithi…" I smiled as I shook my head. It had been well nigh eight months since our arrival.
I did wish he would come and see me…a fool's wish one might say…it would be in such moments of stupidity that my sanity would remind me. He was an emperor… he could have already forgotten my existence.
"I am fine." I heard myself say. My uncle smiled.
"You must be tired." He eyed my bloated stomach. I was in my ninth month and the fact that I bore his child was getting more evident with the passage of days.
I nodded, following my uncle into the house, trying with no success to forget the man who had captured my heart.
Inside my house, there were a group of people. Sātviki smiled at me as she was helping prepare the dinner and Vishaka was cracking jokes about some friend of his and there were all my friends who sat there around Vishaka listening to his far fetched tales. As my eyes landed on my friend, I felt a strange twang of guilt. He was still to forget the past…perhaps one of the few in this room to know about it all. For all those who hadn't seen Saihitei, this child had no live father. According to the tale that ran around in Magadha and Pataliputra, I had married a servant from that faraway land and he had died but not before presenting me with his heir. I had smiled in understanding and sighed in sadness at the sympathies I had received but little did they know that the father was indeed one of the strongest and most powerful men I had ever had the fortune to meet.
"Sātviki says you are not to trouble with the preparations, Adithi." Amba, one of the newly appointed maids to the queen spoke. All I could do was shake my head, and walk towards where Sātviki sat, cutting the vegetables and taking a carrot into my hand, I started to cut it, helping Sātviki.
"My child." Sātviki motioned to take the knife from my hand but I wouldn't let go. Her brow rose in question…how many times had I seen him raise his eyebrow in the same fashion?
"I don't think I shall tire myself cutting vegetables, Sātviki." Her face broke into a smile as she slowly nodded and let me do what I had wanted.
"Adithi, did you know that there are to be emissaries from all over the place for the princess's wedding?" I nodded, distinctly disinterested in what was being discussed. Shwetha was getting wed to the king of Koshala and our king had decided to invite kings and emperors from all lands.
"I hear there shall be envoys even from the far-east." My head snapped up at this. Amba regarded this with a slightly surprised stare. I smiled quickly and bowed my head down, my vision filled with the saffron hue of the carrot in my hand.
"And I hear the emperor might come personally." I could now feel my breath being constrained as my hand faltered with the knife. Sātviki must have noticed my discomfort for she promptly scolded Amba for talking such delicate matters. There was silence when I looked up. Amba was looking at me with a sympathetic gaze.
"I am sorry, Adithi. Of course! You will feel sad when your thoughts turn back to your husband. I am sorry for making you tread such painful memory lanes." She rose from where she sat and wreathing her arms around me, kissed me at the brow. I couldn't help it. Amba was a good friend.
"I think we shall leave now. There are a lot of things to prepare for. The princess is surely excited." Amba said.
"I am sure she is." I heard Sātviki and I couldn't mistake the edge she had in her tone. But Amba seemed to have missed it.
When they had all gone, leaving Sātviki and Vishaka alone with us, she turned to me, her eyes worried. I knew what came my way and shook my head even before Sātviki had opened her mouth.
"I am fine, Sātviki. It was my decision to come here. And you were right. I couldn't marry him…it would be infamy!" she nodded though her lips were pursed as though worry still gnawed her. Vishaka had gotten up from where he sat to walk towards me and when he sank beside me into the cushions, I sighed.
"I wasn't going to ask you anything, Adithi." He stated blandly. I smiled at my friend. I had expected him to give me some more of the advice he had in reserve. His eyes bore into me as he held me with a calculating stare.
"I understand." He got up from where he sat and walked out. I knew he didn't. No one did.
The wedding had been a massive success and as the king had put it to all his servants, we had saved the high reputation of Magadha. I wasn't there and the reason was simple enough. I no longer worked for the royal ones. It hadn't been Shwetha who had called for my removal, however. It had been a self-made decision. One with which, I still stood by. Shwetha had long since forgotten the slight she bore against me and though I couldn't see her very often, I knew she would greet me with a smile. The delegates had arrived from different nations. Including Khonan.
I had felt my heart skip a beat when I had seen men approach the palace in garbs that were typical of his men. I had waited with bated breath to catch a glimpse of his magnificent self as he would descend in elegance from the chariot…for him to smile at the princess as he presented her with her wedding gift…to search for me discreetly as only he could have done. But the men who had come were all old…too old. I did recognize Haku as did he recognize me.
And now as I stood in the same balcony that had been decorated for the wedding with lord Haku, I felt a strange kind of pain in my heart.
"How have you been, Adithi?" His voice was feebler. He had grown older.
I turned around to gaze at the man before I could present him with my answer. Every waking minute, I spent in his thought…hoping that the child I carried within me would look like him…to remind me of the wonderful man I had known once. Mayhap Haku read these thoughts in me for he smiled in understanding. He lowered his head as he sat down on the bench that lay there,
"You haven't forgotten…have you?" I felt tears threatening to break free but I remained resolute. I merely shook my head. He sighed…a tired sigh.
"I was afraid so." His vision strayed to my stomach.
"You shall give birth soon? In a week or two, perhaps?" I nodded. The healer had asked me to be very careful and she had attested to the fact that the child was safe and health – a fact for which I was grateful. It would devastate me to death if I lost my child…the last connection.
"He had asked me to come and visit you…to persuade you to return." I could see that my tears now ran down my cheeks. He was looking at me intently as though he saw nothing around him but me.
"What shall I tell him?" I looked around me with my eyes held wide, trying to stem the flow of tears.
"He wants to know if the child is fine…if he can see his child." I knew I would break if this continued.
I looked at Haku, my eyes hardened,
"Tell him that I died." Haku's eyes widened and I registered a look of utter shock in his wizened face. I smiled lightly.
"Adithi…"
"Tell him that his child died within me…that we have left this world…"
"You don't mean what you-"
"I mean exactly what I say, lord Haku." My voice had raised a little. Haku regarded me in silence for a while before he nodded his head. He placed his hands into his sleeves and pulled something out. I frowned as he placed a crimson box in front of me.
"He asked me to give you this when I met you." his voice sounded strained. My hands clasped the box shakily and as I opened it, I couldn't take it anymore.
I looked up from the box to gaze at Haku, my tears now a steady flood. He was smiling as though he understood.
"I shall leave now, Lady Adithi." He stopped to turn around, his eyes on mine,
"It is a pity… things could have been different." He sighed and with a final bow, left the balcony.
The caravans were ready and soon we would leave this place…forever. I looked up from where I stood – behind Shwetha to find the emperor standing there in all his royal regalia, smiling at Shwetha. But I could see deeper into his heart…I could see the unshed tears that glimmered behind those eyes that seemed so emotionless and stoic now. I would be the reason he would weep. I felt my heart clench at this and averted my eyes from him.
"Farewell, milady." His voice sounded so near…I looked up to find him in front of Shwetha.
My heart beat increased in pace as I panicked. Pray, let him not make this difficult! His eyes rested on mine for a moment…one long moment when his emotions came rushing to his face – betrayal, disbelief and a strange surge of anger…all of which I knew I deserved. But this was for his wellbeing. For his continued happiness, I promised myself.
He would soon forget me and move on. Though I could hardly think of anyone in his place. I knew he would have to take a wife more suited to his position…a beautiful noblewoman perhaps…one who would be perfect for the position of being an empress. One who would capture his heart, just like he had captured mine.
"Farewell, lady Adithi." I nodded, not looking at him. His tone was like he had something more to tell me… I feared he would do something that would change my mind. But that day, he merely moved away…to let me go.
The last sight I saw of Khonan was that of him…standing there, with all his ministers who were waving us away…yet he stood stock-still, his hands clenched to his sides. A scene that had burned itself into my memory…I would hardly forget it.
The skies were darkening above me…the clouds were gathering in what seemed like a thunderstorm. I stood there long after Haku had left me with the crimson box. The gentle wind that caressed my cheeks did little to abate my grief.
My footsteps took me unsteadily towards the crimson box that lay open to the skies above. Collapsing onto the floor beside the table, I cried…I cried as openly as I could…for all the days and months of donning the façade of cheerfulness, I wept…I wept until I could weep no further.
"Saihitei…" my lips whispered relentlessly as I held onto the box. Inside, nestled amidst the soft velvet padding, lay an anklet…the black onyx, shaped like creepers shone in the light of the dying sun. The same anklet that I had admired…the anklet that Saihitei had bought for me…that stranger had to be him…and somehow, this news made me sad…sad enough to die.
When Sātviki found me on the balcony, hours later still weeping, she had shrieked. And for good reason too! It had started to drizzle and within a few moments, I was completely drenched. But I seemed oblivious to the world around me as I held onto the single anklet. The one name that seemed to resonate my being as I lay in the bed, an hour later, robed in dry clothes and Sātviki and Amba tending to me was,
"Saihitei…"
It was the dead of night and the rains lashed without mercy against the roof. I scrunched my eyes shut as I felt pain rack my body once more. The ordeal had started late in the morning and now as we waited for the break of the next day, I had begun to tire.
I did not know there could be so much pain before. I clung to the blankets as I felt Sātviki sit beside my head, holding onto my hand, urging me to breathe. The old healer smiled at me though she seemed a little tense as she nodded her approval. There was one more nerve wrecking moment when I felt my abdomen clench painfully and when I registered my own groans escalating into a scream. There was silence for a while as I gulped down lung-full of air and waiting to hear that telltale wail. Then he cried…the healer held the bundle close to her bosom as she smiled at me. I could make out traces of my blood on the pink skin that I yearned to touch. The healer must have sensed my earnestness for she brought the bundle close to me.
"You have a son…and a healthy one at that." I raised my head a little to gaze for the first time at the face of my son…our son.
His eyes were shut and he wailed as though he wanted his father far away to know that he had indeed been born into the world. A laugh escaped my mouth as I cried. I extended my hand only to have the healer bear the child away.
As an answer to my frown, she smiled,
"He is covered with blood my child…let me wash him. You can hold him close to you to your heart's content then."
I nodded reluctantly as I turned to Sātviki who was smiling at me, her eyes swimming in tears as well.
Minutes later, as I lay there, holding my son to my breast, feeling him drink milk I cried. But this time, it was tears of joy…unlimited joy that I felt as I looked down at his hand that clutched some of my hair in his hand as he nourished himself.
I was a mother.
"You need to give him a name, Adithi. Mayhap we could arrange the ceremony in a week?" I nodded as I looked down at the babe who, having finished feeding was now looking at me with interest. A gasp escaped me as I gazed into his eyes. Sātviki who was gazing at my child as well, smiled.
"He has his father's eyes, doesn't he?" she whispered. I smiled as I nodded, gazing at the golden brown orbs that were the exact replica of his father.
"He is truly his son." I heard Sātviki exclaim. And I could only smile. It was then that I decided. I would call my son – Aryan. It mean 'noble one' and I couldn't think of a better name. He was Saihitei's son! There was no other name that would suit our son. He was one of noble birth. My son cooed as he rubbed his hands into his eyes, as though he wished for sleep.
"The both of us are tired…aren't we, Aryan?" I said softly. Sātviki merely smiled in understanding as she helped me place my son beside me and helped me sleep.
I had a son. We had a son.
"Tell him that his child died within me…that we have left this world…"
I sighed as I felt the same gloom settle down. Tears flowed down my face as I cradled my son close to my heart. It was all for the betterment of those around us, I promised myself.
But I still loved him.
There was a gurgle and I looked down to find my son smile in his slumber. I smiled despite myself.
"Sleep well, noble one."
Author's Note:
There you have it folks! The end of the story proper! But I do plan to throw in an epilogue. We can't leave Houki hang in there without a lead, can we? So stay turned for the last chapter.
Yours in fellowship,
- Anarya of Lorien.