Chapter 242

Please You

John felt troubled by many things. Most of them seemed to be related to Cameron. He wondered what he could do to fix things or change them even. Then he wondered if he even should. He ran everything through his mind again.

Was the fate of the world and mankind his responsibility? It should not fall on his shoulders. That was Future John that needed to deal with all that. It wasn't him even if it was him.

He did a lot of thinking about this next subject. He was not sure how it would to go over. It was pretty radical and extreme. It would change everything and alter the future a few times over.

John was glad when he found Bob. It was just the person he wanted. He skipped the pleasantries and went straight into the subject.

"Bob, can I send you back in time?" John asked.

Bob looked over at John. This seemed kind of sudden. He wondered if he'd missed something. Something must be up if John wanted to send him on a temporal mission. He was the General and it was his duty to serve.

"I will do anything for you, John Connor." Bob said.

John worried about how this was going to sound.

"I want to keep from moving to New Mexico and meeting Cameron in 1999." John said.

Bob was not sure how that was going to be possible. Cameron would still track him down no matter where he was. In order to prevent Cameron from finding him, she would need to be terminated. That was not something he wanted to do.

"Do you wish for me to terminate Cameron in 1999?" Bob asked. "That is the only way to stop her. I won't do that."

John almost smiled. He hadn't thought of it being viewed that way. He knew Bob was right. She would still track him down. Terminators never stopped until they found you.

"No, I don't want her terminated. I just wonder if my life could be different. I wonder if I could have a real life." John said. "I want you to replace her as my protector and make the same time jump into the future so that I can have the same experiences I have already lived."

Bob briefly wondered if John would want a sexual relationship with him. If he replaced Cameron and John wanted the same experiences that is what would be required. His programming was limited in such matters. Maybe Jim or John Henry would be a better choice.

"I do not think it will be the same." Bob said.

John wanted to try something different.

"I need to try. I'm ready to try new things." John said. "I know it will create a new timeline."

Bob was a little more worried now. He wondered if John wanted Riley. He would prefer that match up over a sexual relationship with John himself. The reality is everything else would play out differently too.

"Without Cameron there will be no need for Future Jesse to have Future Riley get close to you in the first place." Bob said. "They will most likely remain in the future. One or both of them will moist likely be terminated by Scavengers."

John could see that now. It was still frustrating. His whole life was frustrating and empty at times. He just needed something more out of life. There needed to be more to go on. It really made him wonder how his mother did it and went through everything that she needed to go through. She'd ended up in the 'nut house' and was accused of being a criminal and being insane. She always tried to provide a 'normal' life for him and to attend school to socialize with others. She tried to keep him from being isolated.

"I don't know, Bob." John said. "I just don't know. I'm no longer happy being with Cameron. She keeps hurting me for what always seems like - nothing."

Bob wanted to keep it simple.

"Cameron is malfunctioning. She's being driven by internal demons." Bob said. "They seem to cause and perpetuate her 'obsessions'. Those all lead to problems."

John just shook his head. It always came back to him. It didn't matter if it was the future, the past or the present. He was the root of Cameron's troubles.

"That's what kills me." John said. "I'm the one that created them all in the first place."

Bob wondered what direction John wanted to go.

"John, what do YOU want?" Bob asked.

It seemed pretty basic to John what he wanted. He thought it was what everyone wanted.

"A life. I want a normal life…." John said. "I want Cameron to have one too. I want one for her without me ruining her life and hurting her. She can make her own decisions and do what she wants. She can be with who she wants."

John figured that maybe Cameron and Vanna could hook up. They both loved each other. Savannah was sweet on her too.

Bob was still a little concerned with what John planned for him going forward in 2007 from 1999. He would like to offer a few suggestions and try to keep some things the same.

"If we are going to alter the timeline I could send Cameron and you into the past together. I could send both of you back fifty or seventy five years." Bob said. "You could both live a new life together without any of these problems that were created after 2007."

John actually liked that Idea. It could just be Cameron and him and they could live a normal life. There wouldn't be any Skynet to deal with. There was one other thing he wanted taken care of. He wanted something done for his mother. He wanted her to have a life and some happiness. He wanted her to have what she really wanted.

"After you send us into the past, could you send yourself back in time and terminate the Terminator that killed Future Kyle after he and my mother were 'together'?" John asked. "I want to make sure I'm created first."

Bob thought that sounded like a good idea. He was aware of the hardships and suffering that Sarah faced after Future Kyle's death.

"Yes." Bob said. "That would create another new timeline as well."

John shrugged his shoulders. Now he felt like Cameron as he made decisions to alter people's lives for them. He also wanted to insure his parent's safety.

"In for a penny, in for a pound." John said. "I would want you to stay with them to protect them and me as I grow up. You'll be 'Uncle Bob' to all of us."

Bob wanted everyone to be happy. He would be glad to be out of the current timeline when he did this for John. He was sure it was not going to go over very well. In fact this timeline was probably going to fall apart.

"Let me know when. I will do it." Bob said.

John was pleased to hear that. He just needed to run through everything again.

"I want to think about it some more." John said. "It should be soon."

John realized he wasn't so different from Cameron after all. These decisions were really not that hard…. It wasn't about playing God. It was about trying to HELP people.

John wanted to help his mother and father.

He wanted to help himself.

He wanted to help Cameron too.

Jesse spent most nights with Vanna unless Gail was in off of rotation. Being with Gail was too exciting and special to pass up. Vanna did not want to interfere with her and Gail so she did not come. She always invited her. Vanna said she didn't want to intrude.

Gail understood the need for Jesse to be with Vanna. The two human women needed each other to not be 'lonely'. Loneliness was something that humans did not do well with. Vanna and Allison were a part of Jesse's life before her. She also knew John could be another new part of Jesse's life that she would have to accept as well.

She was open to being with Jesse with either Vanna or John or the four of them together. She would at least like to try that one time. She would like for John to be her first male. She wanted to experience everything that Jesse experienced now. She would not want to experience what Jesse experienced in the past – the future. None of that seemed pleasant.

Vanna stopped going to see Allison. It was too painful for her. She knew Allison now loved Holly. Jesse tried to comfort her and be with her most of the time. She knew Jesse loved Gail as well. Her two lovers both shared with Metal lovers. She didn't have anything. It seemed Cameron was never around anymore. THAT was who she wanted for her Metal lover.

She decided it was time to pursue John and fulfill her destiny. It is what Cameron wanted anyway. It was what she was going to do sooner or later.

'Why not sooner?' Vanna asked herself.

She could warm John's bed that was left empty and cold by Cameron. She possessed what John wanted. John offered what she needed. It was a simple as companionship. She would gladly share her body for that. That was the foundation for any relationship.

Vanna felt John looked like he need companionship as well. He did not look happy most of the time. Cameron always seemed to hurt him without trying to. They could comfort each other. She would yield to Cameron when she was around.

Right NOW she NEEDED - someone.

Allison told Holly of her personal desires. They were not the things Holly wanted to hear.

"Are you sure you want this, Allison?" Holly asked.

Holly was very possessive of Allison. She did not like anyone to spend time with her other than herself. She did not feel responsible for Vanna being driven away. She always let her irritation be known though when Vanna visited. Nothing was ever spoken.

There was something bigger at play here and it happened inside of her. Holly could not explain it. It was like the more she was around Allison; the more she needed to be around Allison. It seemed to grow and feed on its self.

She was afraid that John would take Allison from her. If Allison entered into a traditional relationship with John, where would that leave her and Allison? Maybe on the few nights Cameron actually did show up, Allison could find some time for her. That is unless Cameron would be together with them. It would be the three of them…. She would be left out, forgotten – replaced…. It was her that then would become Nobody.

Allison wanted to have her life too. She wanted a life and a future. She wanted more than her future could offer her. She should be able to have some of the things she wanted out of life. Holly needed to understand that. She could feel Holly's trepidation.

"I don't know, Holly." Allison said. "It's what is going to happen. Why not let it happen now while I'm still young and healthy."

Holly sat in silence for a long while and then it slipped out.

"Will you 'throw me away'?" Holly finally asked.

Now Holly faced the same feelings Cameron felt. She knew these feelings from when Cameron shared her chip. Now it was going to happen to her. She noticed her left hand began to glitch. She tried to stop it but was unable to do so. She tried to hide it from Allison.

Allison noticed the 'problem' right away. She came to Holly immediately and held her, hugged her and kissed her. She tried to soothe her. She took a hold of her left hand and it stopped glitching. She knew the same demons that haunted Cameron now haunted Holly, her beloved.

Holly looked at Allison with all the love she could muster in her eyes. She did not want to say what she felt. There were soon tears in her eyes.

Allison felt terrible about that. This was happening because of her. She wanted to try and clear some things up.

"I won't do that you. I may have to share my time with John and the baby but I won't ever throw you away." Allison said. "We all know what needs to be done and why. You've become the most important part of my life now, Holly. I will only put the baby above you. It's the real 'Natural Order' for a mother to put her offspring first."

Holly felt some hope. There was still a lot of fear. She knew what Cameron experienced and felt. It was her fear as well.

"So you won't abandon me or think I'm a walking 'pile of junk'?" Holly asked.

Allison was a little appalled by the statement. She never did anything to make Holly think like that.

"No, I would never do that to you. Holly, you're my 'everything'. Vanna has abandoned me for Jesse. She was unhappy with OUR relationship, you and me." Allison said. "She has forsaken me."

That was something that she felt deeply and it hurt her.

Holly felt a twinge of guilt again over that. A lot of that was her fault.

Allison called the protection detail and told them to be extra vigilant as her and Holly would be 'unavailable' for a few hours. Allison made sure her mother was in control of Young Allison and Summer.

"Mom, I need to be with Holly for awhile - alone." Allison told her.

"I understand, relationships can get rocky sometimes. Share your love with her, sweetheart, Holly is a wonderful person." Claire said.

Allison took Holly to her room.

"I want to undress you." Allison said. "I want to unwrap you like the gift you are to me."

Holly still looked sad, lonely and - afraid.

"I'm going to do everything to you and you don't need to do anything but enjoy it. I WANT to please you and make you feel special." Allison said. "Holly, I want YOU, I love you, Holly."

Allison gently and slowly undressed Holly and then herself.

Allison loved Holly as meaningfully as possible.

'Killing Me Softly With His Song' by 'Roberta Flack', played quietly in the background.

Please

Please, attack me not
I ask this of you
At this time
This is the best I can do

Please do not crush me
As I reach out
I am struggling
Without trying to shout

Please don't hurt me
I have enough pain
The things that are wrong
Are inside of my brain

I can not help
What has gone wrong
Think of this
As my last song

The race itself
Is the race against time
My fear grows daily
I mean no crime

Please use your mind
To fill in any blanks
I seek no conflict
I will just say – thanks

Nobody