Chapter 243

Not This Way

Cameron believed that she'd become cold and cruel. She felt she was more and more like Future John herself. That bothered her. There were times where very little seemed to matter to her anymore. Most of what was happening seemed meaningless to her. The fact she'd enjoyed terminating another version of 'herself' made her want to do it again. She even enjoyed inflicting pain on 'herself' as she beat and abused 'Nobody'. She retrieved the 'chip' from 'Nobody'. She would download the information one day so she could experience what she'd done to 'herself' and most of all experience death. Cameron purposely took her time before 'finishing it'. She knew she should have terminated 'Nobody' at least week earlier. She was in very poor physical health with numerous broken bones at the time of her termination.

Alone by herself, Cameron sat lost in her calculations. She slowly took out the thumb drive from the first Isabel–Cameron and looked at it. She felt her relationship with John was stagnant, slowly growing cold and meaningless. She was dissatisfied with being a living 'silicon love doll'. She wasn't constructed to be a 'sex machine'. She often felt she was being used as such.

Cameron thought of River. She wanted the sensations for herself. She was able to scan River, as River 'felt' the females 'together'. The thumb drive contained the actual information on it of Isabel-Cameron with the girls. She wanted to know herself. She wanted - MORE. If she downloaded that file. Those sensations would become hers.

'What is it like to be with a female?' Cameron wondered.

Cameron was sure they would know what she wanted and would like. They ALL told her it was more beautiful than to be with a male. She plugged the drive into the server. She connected the tether to her neck port. All she needed to do was hit 'Enter' and she would have those treasured memories and feelings. It would be as if she'd done it herself, as herself. She hoped this would give her what she was 'missing'. She was also aware that once you try 'crack', you don't go back. She was sure she would want the girls then. Maybe she wouldn't want John any longer. She didn't care. She knew she could take any one of the girls she wanted, anytime. Her finger slowly pressed down on the 'Enter' key. It was time to get what she was missing.

John was bored when there was little to do in the Command Center. John Henry's server JH seemed to take care of most of everything. Cameron tried to restrict him to the base for his safety. He felt that was unnecessary. It also made Cameron do most of the fighting herself. Again this was to protect him. Even with the protective vests she still took damage. Whenever she was damage she would not come around. She would always remind him about Allison, Vanna and Jesse. They were all there for his sexual needs and comfort.

"Let's go out and do some recon." John said to Bob.

"Affirmative." Bob said.

John hoped to bury his troubles with some action. His mind would be forced to refocus. The more he was stuck at the base, the more his life seemed to stagnate.

"It will take my mind off of what is happening around here." John said. "Or NOT happening around here as well."

Bob didn't really want to get into the personal aspects of some things. He was often drug into them anyway. If they brought along some of the others, they could deal with John.

"Do you want Kyle and Derek to go?" Bob asked. "Sometimes it's nice to have help."

That sounded good to John at first. Maybe he could make it better and 'knock' on a heart. Maybe he could just 'knock one off'. That would work too.

"No. I want Jesse to go." John said. "I do understand why Kyle and Derek like to get out as well, now."

Bob shot John a long glance. He knew what John really was after and wanted. He really didn't think John needed to work it so hard.

"Are you ready for her?" Bob asked. "She can be quite a handful."

John was ready for a little more. Jesse was the most acclimated to 'be with' males voluntarily. Vanna and Allison seemed to have all bad experiences with males. They both seemed willing to try it with him though.

"Yes, I am." John said. "I think she's what I need."

John knew Jesse offered the most to share with him the quickest. Sure all the girls could offer the same things but Jesse was ready to offer all of them now.

Bob knew what Cameron wanted. Jesse was really the 'backup' for Allison and then Vanna. All the Terminators were aware that Cameron would want Allison's child when she had one.

"Maybe Allison or Vanna would be less intense and perhaps more loving." Bob said.

John wanted some action. He wanted it hot and heavy.

"No, Jesse will have everything to offer me and then some." John said. "Every time I see her I feel excited and turned on. She makes sure I see her nipple rings every time she sees me. That's to get my attention and make me notice her. I can say it's worked. I desire her the most right now."

Bob remembered Jesse when she arrived. She was hot and she was trouble. Cameron 'rebuilt' her. She made her more seductive and created an allure to her presence. He wanted John to keep that in mind. It was his duty to warn John that he was targeted by Jesse through Cameron's manipulation.

"That is mostly Cameron's doing." Bob said. "Cameron made Jesse hot, no, HOTTER, so you'd want her."

John needed to rate that as 'Mission Accomplished' on Cameron's part then. He was aroused just talking about her and everything she could offer.

"It worked. I do want her." John said. "She is an exotic beauty with a tight smoking hot body."

Bob didn't like John to be led around as a victim of his hormones.

"It's all what Cameron's orchestrated." Bob said. "She's manipulated both of you."

John was very aroused and stimulated at this point. If he didn't find a female soon he would need to take matters into his own hands or hand actually. 'Rosie Palm' was getting way too much of a workout as it was. He was fed up with everything at this point.

"I really don't care anymore." John said. "Now, the recon can wait. I need something else instead."

John headed off towards Jesse's room.

Bob knew what was about to happen. There was no stopping it this time. He hoped Jesse would not damage John. He hoped Cameron would not damage Jesse…. Cameron was the one who provoked the whole thing in the first place. She'd better be willing to live with what she created. It was clear that John was ready for some 'strange'.

Vanna paid a lot of attention to Cameron again since Allison was gone. She was with Jesse at times but she needed to share Jesse with Gail.

She would often 'spy' on Cameron to see what she was up to. Usually it was going out on some operation alone. If she could tell where Cameron was headed she would have John Henry redirect some assistance her way.

Now she could see Cameron was after something different. She thought there were better and more loving ways for Cameron to learn. It was time to act. She loved Cameron.

"Are you sure that's how you want to 'learn'?" Vanna asked.

Cameron lifted her finger from the 'Enter' key.

Vanna entered into the room as Cameron was lost in thought.

Cameron looked long and hard at Vanna. She was 'hungry'. When she looked at Vanna she became hungrier.

"I wanted to 'know'." Cameron said. "I WANT to know."

Vanna saw this as a rare opportunity. It was time to throw the dice. She unplugged the tether from Cameron's neck. She moved close to Cameron as her hand lingering on her neck. She wanted Cameron to feel her presence.

Cameron faced Vanna and looked her in the eyes.

"I want to 'know'." Cameron said again.

Vanna was going to knock but she did not want to 'push'.

"Well?" Vanna asked. "You have the power to make a choice."

Cameron remembered the love Vanna always showed her and offered her.

"You almost 'taught' me once. That was before I was with John." Cameron said. "You would have been my first."

Vanna gritted her teeth a little as she thought about the shot up mess that Cameron was in when she first saw her. She always loved Cameron. She wanted Cameron to remember that.

"That was after he got you shot up and almost destroyed. That was after he abandoned you. That was after I lovingly put you back together…." Vanna said. "I loved you when you were on the server, Cameron. I've always loved you."

"Yes." Cameron said. "You've loved me all along knowing what I was…. What I am. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to share everything with you. You made me feel things I didn't know I could feel. You gave me desire. You gave me love. I really wanted you to be 'my first'."

Vanna swallowed hard. That was what she wanted more than anything. She decided to make her play. She could offer as much love as Cameron wanted.

"Do you still want that?" Vanna asked. "I can be your 'first female'. You will learn of true love and sharing. I promise you will never regret it. I know."

Vanna moved over and sat on Cameron's lap as she faced her. Their faces were only inches apart. Their breasts touched one another through their clothing. She could see that aroused Cameron some. She wanted Cameron to know how she felt and what she felt. She placed Cameron's hand on her neck. She wanted Cameron to scan her and monitor her body's responses. She wanted Cameron feel her respond to HER.

Cameron did and it excited her as well. There were very strong sensations from Vanna. Everything she said was truthful as well. It was clear that Vanna believed in everything she said.

"Yes. I do. I want that. I want you." Cameron said. "I need to say that I'm still 'afraid'."

Vanna felt a little fear. Maybe she'd pushed too hard.

"You feel afraid of what?" Vanna asked.

Vanna hoped she did not make Cameron afraid of her.

Cameron wanted more but did not want to lose what she already had.

"I'm afraid that I might hurt John or worse." Cameron said. "I'm afraid that I might not want him anymore."

That gave Vanna some pause to mull over. This could be more complicated than it needed to be. She wanted to know what Cameron really felt herself, from inside of herself.

"Do you love John or me only because Future Allison loved us?" Vanna asked.

Cameron felt a glitch impulse in her hand. She was afraid her 'love' was programmed into her. What if she really couldn't love and nothing was real? The glitch impulse shot through her left hand again. That would mean she was really nothing but a bunch of wires, circuits and scrap metal that masqueraded as a female. That's what they told her she was in the beginning.

"I am afraid of that." Cameron said. "Maybe I don't really love anyone. Maybe I only THINK I do."

Vanna knew differently. She knew there was one person that Future Allison did not even know of that Cameron loved.

"You love River." Vanna said.

Cameron looked sad. That was true and it hurt her to think of it.

"I should've gone with her, Vanna." Cameron said. "I wanted to go. She's everything I am and everything I'm not. She's perfect."

Vanna didn't think now was a good time to point out those were actually Duplicate Cameron's feelings. They were the same individual and Cameron possessed all those files from Duplicate Cameron. They were part of her now.

"Nobody is perfect. Why didn't you go?" Vanna asked.

"She said I was needed here. She told me it was not our time yet and that would come later. She said she would come back for me or help get me back. When she does I'm going to go." Cameron said. "I'm going to do it. It's what I want more than anything."

Vanna knew to Cameron that those feelings from Duplicate Cameron were as if they were her own. The wording Cameron just used worried her some. What was it that River really spoke of when she told that to Duplicate Cameron specifically? She was afraid if she pointed that out to Cameron it would crush and devastate her. It was time to move on now with what was real and here.

Vanna took the thumb drive from Cameron. It still gave her a shot at Cameron when she was ready without the files from Isabel-Cameron to 'satisfy' her.

"When YOU are really ready, you need to learn on your own, not this way." Vanna said. "You don't know how beautiful it can be. I can teach and guide you. You know that. It will always be out of love and never just sex, lust or greed."

Cameron believed everything Vanna said.

"I want to 'know'." Cameron said.

Vanna got up from Cameron's lap. As she did her breasts brushed against Cameron's face. She paused and let them linger there for a moment. It was another message sent. If it was not for the cloth that contained them, she knew Cameron would have taken one. She would still make sure her message was clear.

"You know where my room is…." Vanna said. "The door is always open for you. My love is always waiting for you to accept it. It always has been."

Vanna glanced back slowly as she left. She brushed her hair to the side to show more of her face. She gave Cameron a sly smile and winked at her.

Cameron felt a flood of feelings and emotions surge through her. Those were her own. She knew that now. Her sheath and chip responded in ways she did not know they could. She decided she was ready. Vanna was the one. It was time….

Allison worked on Holly. She wanted to express her love and let Holly feel it as love expressed through physical touch.

It worked. Holly did feel it.

"I've never felt so loved." Holly said.

Allison smiled. She was very pleased.

"I wanted you to feel loved. I wanted you to feel special." Allison said.

Holly wanted to return the feelings the same way.

"I do, Allison. I do." Holly said. "Now, let me love you."

Allison wanted that but she also wanted to stress the point that today was all about Holly and to make it special.

"No, not today. This was all about you, for you." Allison said. "You need to feel special, loved and appreciated. I want you to know you matter. Love is about sacrifice. We can be together tomorrow as usual. Today is just for YOU."

Holly felt very touched inside.

"I do feel special, now." Holly said. "Thank you for showing me that you love me."

"I do, Holly." Allison said. "I really do."

Holly started to get up.

"Not so fast. I have only started to make you feel special." Allison said. "That was just the warm up."

Holly loved Allison more than ever.

'San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)' by 'Scott McKenzie', softly played as Allison gently loved Holly.

Rerun

Darkness
Rejection
Anger
Despair

Come in many painful forms
A gamble can be to win or lose
But not with the same chips or cards
There's a better way to choose

When you look at the person's outside
That's all you can see
It's what is inside that matters
Or you only get a fancy marquee

Bulges grow, things sag, wrinkles appear
Outer beauty evaporates with time
Is not the person trapped inside still
Who they were in their youthful prime

As the world burns around us
Each new day is like the last
To stop living the same rerun
You need a different cast

Nobody