relax
Kurenai

I needed to relax. So I set myself up for a nice long soak in a hot bath. My hair pinned up in a big mess on top of my head, I settled in with a book and some hot tea. Everything would be fine, I just needed to clear my head.

I must have been quite absorbed in said book, because I didn't notice anyone coming into the house until the bathroom door burst open.

"Kuuuuuu-re-naaaaai!"

I must have jumped a good three feet in the air. I almost dropped my book right into the bathwater. "Anko!" I gasped, trying to get over the shock. God, she scared me. "What on earth are you doing?"

Mitarashi Anko grinned, apparently proud of herself. She loves to make a big entrance. "Thought I'd stop by!" She chuckled, giving a casual little wave.

I scowled. "Well, don't mind me, I'm just trying to take a bath."

"I can see that," she said, nodding appreciatively. "Lookin' good."

"Ugh." I brought my knees up, trying to preserve my modesty.

She laughed out loud, her spiky hair bobbing happily. "Haha! That was awesome, though. You totally didn't even hear me come in!"

"The front door should have been locked," I muttered. Intrusion on people's bathtimes should be a punishable offense.

"I still have my key," she said, holding it up to show me, hazel eyes gleaming.

I rolled my eyes sarcastically and studied the soap dish. "Damn. I thought I had changed the lock."

Anko laughed again, fondly. "You always say that."

This was true. I always say that. Anko and I are always the same.

Anko has had a hard life. On the outside she is all sunshine. She handles her duties as a special jounin with authority and purpose. But off the job, on the inside she's like a time bomb. Her relationships are often troubled. She has a self-destructive streak as well as some deep cravings to be accepted. It drives most others away from her. Most people just don't have the patience or reserves to really be close with her. But I've always worried about Anko. We used to be roommates, or at least, we were roommates when she wasn't staying with one of her random lovers.

I don't see her so often anymore. She's very busy with work. She puts her everything into her job now. We go out for a drink every now and then. Sometimes she stops by to say hello. Usually it's because she's bored, or it's for something to eat, or when she's broke and needing somewhere to stay. I let her stay and play big sister for a while. Then she'll be off again doing who knows what... She just can't stay in one place long.

"Whatcha readin'?" She asked, going for the book. She snatched it and flipped through the pages. "Is it dirty?"

"No."

Anko didn't believe me, apparently, because she proceeded to flip through the book sideways, as if looking for pictures. "Aw man... poetry? I was hoping for horror! Gore! Smut!"

I sighed and took the book back from her. "Yeah, just boring old me, you know."

"You got anything good to eat?" she asked, heading for the kitchen. "I'm starving."

"Not really," I called to her, getting out of the bath after she had left eyesight range. "I haven't gone shopping yet this week." I wrapped a towel around my steaming skin, drying off quickly. I had to admit I was a little disappointed to have company, not because it was Anko, but because I had really wanted to be alone. I guessed I'd give myself a rain check on that long relaxing soak.

"Hey!" she yelled, from the kitchen. "There's nothing in this fridge! Haven't you gone shopping yet this week?"

Sigh. Anko is a special friend.

I threw some clothes on and joined her in the living room, where she was calling for take-out. Nice of her, too, on my credit. "Okay, yeah. Fifteen minutes or it's free, right?" Anko hung up the phone and turned to me with a grin. "I've been craving tangerine chicken from the place on the corner for like, weeks." She flopped onto the couch and rubbed her tummy excitedly.

"Make yourself at home," I deadpanned, toweling my hair.

She tossed a pillow at me. "You could be happier to see me, you know." She stuck out her tongue.

I stopped and looked her in the eye. Oh, Anko. "I am happy to see you," I said quietly.

"Good!" She smiled, satisfied. "You should be, especially since I came to tell you... guess who's overseeing the second part of the Chuunin exam this year?"

I hung my towel over the back of a chair and sat down crosslegged on the floor to comb my hair out with my fingers. "I don't know."

"Come on, Kurenai, guess," she urged, gesturing impatiently.

But I don't really do guessing games. I pulled at a particularly stubborn knot, working my fingers back and forth to loosen the tangle. "I have no idea."

"Ta-da!" Anko spread her arms wide, gleeful. "Yours truly!"

I stopped mid-tangle and stared up at her. I couldn't help but be a little surprised. "Y-you are?"

"Yup." Anko grinned, giving me a wink. "And you'd better make sure those genin of yours are ready."

"They'll handle anything you could throw at them." I told her, with conviction.

She gave me an impish smile. "Oh yeah? Let's see how well they can handle... the Forest of Death."

"The Forest of Death?" I repeated, surprised. She wants to send my kids into--

"Ah, ah," Anko says, cutting me short with an admonishing finger. "I can tell what you're thinking. But they're not just kids, Kurenai. They're soldiers. And survival is a necessary skill for any chuunin."

I set my jaw. Anko was right. "They'll be ready." I promise.

That night Anko crashed in a snoring heap on the floor in my living room, but I couldn't sleep. I lay in my bed and stared out the window. The full moon drifted through the heavens, casting its pale light back down on me and my empty room.

I thought about my team. I wanted to see them, right now. I thought about Shino and his quiet observation of the world around him. I thought about Kiba and his unlimited excitement and energy. I thought about Hinata and her gentle compassion for others. I thought about Anko and the chuunin exam.

I thought about Asuma. I thought about Asuma for a long time.

They say that during childhood, we have our parents, our birth family; and after we become a genin, we're adults, and our team replaces that position in our lives. When I was a genin, my team really wasn't very close-knit, so I never really understood that. But now, I think I am starting to understand.

I just don't know if I want to. If you get close to people, if you make them special to you, you can lose them.

The Forest of Death, huh?

Some people say our fates are written in the stars above. I stared up into the sky, wanting to see. All I saw were stars.

The next morning found me at the Head Office. I had holed myself up in a corner with some hot tea and the latest news bulletins. I was planning on doing for a little research on what our next missions would be.

"Oh... Kurenai?" a gruff elderly voice interrupted my reading.

I glanced up. The wizened face of the Third Hokage was looking at me over the folder I was immersed in. I took off my reading glasses and jumped to my feet. "Hokage-sama-- Good morning."

The Third nodded, with an aged smile. "Good morning. Sit down, sit down."

I sat as directed. I was amused to note once again that even at his advanced age, the Third was still smoking that pipe of his. Every bit the typical Sarutobi. "How are you feeling, sir?"

The Third grinned down at me and thumped his chest. "Heh. Don't worry about me. Healthy as a horse. How are you? How's teaching?"

I shuffled the papers in my hands. "It's going well, sir. I have three very gifted genin on my hands. I think they will go far."

"Excellent. Isn't today Saturday?" he asked. "What are you doing in here on your day off?"

"Oh," I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Just going over paperwork. I was curious to see what kind of missions we'd be getting in the next weeks."

"I see. In that case, hold on a moment." The Hokage shuffled out of the room. He returned soon with a pair of scrolls. "Here." He placed one in my waiting hands.

"What is it?" I asked, fingering the seal.

"A new mission," the Third smiled, and puffed on his pipe. "I hope your students are ready for a more difficult task."

"They are, sir," I said quickly. "Yardwork and finding cats is important, of course... but I believe they are ready for any challenge you can give them."

He nodded, pleased. "Look that over, then, and see me if you have any questions. Then-- you should go get some fresh air. Don't stay in this old office all day, now."

"Sir?" I asked, out of curiosity. "What is that other one?"

"Oh," he replied. "This would be Team 10's assignment." The Hokage looked from the scroll in his hand to me. "You... wouldn't be happening to be seeing Asuma anytime today, would you?"

"I might," I admitted.

"Well, would you mind taking this to him? It would save a messenger a trip, you know..." he trailed off. I thought I saw a possible twinkle in his eye.

"I wouldn't mind," I told him. "He says he lives near where I do, anyway. Can you write down the address for me?"

"Of course." The Third smiled, his eyes crinkling with pleasure. "Thank you."

So it's not long before I'm wandering around the streets, totally at a loss for where to go. The street that the Hokage gave me is nowhere near my street. In fact, I don't even think it's part of the same neighborhood.

Could this be right? I had refused to stop and ask for directions until now. I could figure this out on my own. His street must be...

I tried to remember if I'd ever seen from which way he comes or goes. I couldn't. I tried to imagine the kind of place Asuma probably would live. I came to the conclusion that it's got to be run-down, smoky, and somewhere near that All-You-Can-Eat Barbeque he frequents with his kids. And for some reason I imagined it was painted green.

"You look lost," a deep voice murmured to my right. I looked up and there was Hatake Kakashi, reading his dirty book.

"I'm not lost," I explained. "I'm trying to find where Asuma lives."

At this he seemed a little surprised. His one visible eye widened. "You mean... you don't know already?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, flatly.

"Never mind," he grunted, turning a page, with a tone that belied a smirk beneath that silly mask.

"The Hokage asked me to," I emphasized. "I'm not dropping by for teatime."

Now Kakashi's eye narrowed in amusement. "Teatime? That's a new word for it."

"Oh shut up," I huffed. I don't know much about Kakashi, but I will tell you one thing: I don't think I like him. He is handsome-- well, what you can see of him anyway-- and pretty popular with Konoha's female population. In fact, just hearing other women bring him up so often makes me feel a slight irritation. He is troubled and he acts strange instead of getting some help or dealing with it out in the open. He's incredibly talented as a shinobi, has natural talent I'd kill hundreds to get, and yet he has no ambition.

Those things aren't the worst, though. What really drives me up the wall about Kakashi is simply this. He is never straightforward. When he speaks it's usually some kind of joke, or sarcasm. He also has a habit of making these enigmatic musings, as though he were talking to himself. He often acts an idiot, with his silly book and flaky behavior. Even his training is more like showing off than actual work: one-finger pushups and nonsense like that. I never know how to react to the things he says or does. It irks me to no ends at times.

Kakashi's gaze moved to the second page. "Asuma's place is on the west end of Pine Street. Turn left when you see the barbeque, then left again. End of the street."

"Um, thanks." I stammered, surprised. But Kakashi was already gone.

Well, at least I was right about it being near the All-You-Can-Eat Barbeque.

As I turned onto the right street, the tipsy buildings had a little more space between them. The houses here on this edge of the city had trees about, small patches of garden and green, old-fashioned wood and paper window screens. These buildings were much older than the ones in my neighborhood. I noticed potted plants on the narrow doorsteps and bonsai in the small yards. Perhaps older people lived here?

The simple sound of my footsteps felt too noisy in the quiet of this place. With the thick line of trees behind the buildings, it didn't even feel like part of the city. The dry autumn breeze rustled the pine needles and the trees answered with a sigh. I felt a little jealous that Asuma had such a peaceful neighborhood to live in. I mean, this was a nice neighborhood. I probably couldn't afford the rent here on my salary. All part and parcel of being a Sarutobi, perhaps.

The last building on the street appeared to be a multistory building fashioned into apartments, beyond which the street ended in a small grove of trees, not quite large enough to be called a park, really. I looked up at the building. Olive green paint. Three mail slots lined up by the gate, the middle one labeled "2 – Sarutobi" in scrawled hand. I nodded to myself. This must be it. I climbed a narrow but solidly-built flight of stairs to the second floor apartment. Nearing the top of the flight, I reached the top stair and peeked around the corner.

The front door hung open, allowing breeze to enter a small tatami-matted living room. Inside I could see Asuma and his student Shikamaru sprawled on the floor, half-engaged in a game of shogi. Akimichi Chouji was napping beside them, and Yamanaka Ino lay on the floor nearby, idly leafing through a magazine. Her feet kicked back and forth behind her, casually, happily.

I was shocked at the relaxed and even languid atmosphere, to say the least. Was this what Team 10 did all the time? Was this Asuma's idea of training? How could he call himself a teacher? How despicable, how lazy! My team, my Team 8 never—

Wait.

Today was Saturday. Asuma's team was hanging out together. On their day off.

Perhaps he was doing something right after all.

I left the scroll in his mailbox on my way out. It would appear I had some work to do.

I've been way too lax. I've been letting myself be distracted by coffee and sunsets and things instead of focusing my effort on what is really important. The Chuunin Exam is a competition, after all, and my kids' lives are hanging in the balance. I needed to buckle down, quit playing around and go for the jugular. This isn't a job in which we're supposed to make friends. This is a job in which we are supposed to take adolescents and prepare them for the battlefield.

It was time for me to get serious.