first patrol
Kurenai

Sarutobi Asuma and I are running through our sector for the first time. Or should I say, Sarutobi Asuma is running through his sector, and I'm trailing him. So much for teamwork.

This morning he had suggested we should talk about strategy beforehand. He seemed like he really meant it. But then we had each had to go to meet our teams. We hadn't agreed that we would meet and talk as he had suggested, but I had assumed it was happening anyway.

I waited for him around the office for a while, figuring he'd come file the day's paperwork. I checked out his file. Very interesting, by the way. I must say I was rather surprised at the things I read about him. He's much more formidable on paper than in person. There is something funny about that. I don't know a single Konoha shinobi who tries to play down his skill level. The men I know tend to enjoy showing it off out in the open like a bullfighter. When work is your life, rank and prestige are everything. So why on earth is Asuma-- if his file is correct anyway-- why isn't he doing something incredibly elite? He's got the all-important breeding, and the credentials to top it off. I mean, if he pushed, he could surely get a very high position. I don't understand that at all.

After waiting for him for about an hour, I noticed that his cell's paperwork had already been dropped into the in-box. Somehow I had missed him? I asked the reception nin and was informed that he had filed early in the day, right around noon. Annoyed at my own goof and trying to blame it on him, I found my way to his house. I hoped to catch him there and maybe talk a bit like he had suggested. When I got there, no one answered the door. He was sleeping. I could hear him snoring away inside. So much for having a meeting.

So we're making our perimeter check. And things feel weird.

I've been on speaking terms with Asuma for a couple months now. I've walked places with him, invited him in for coffee a few times. I even have had the experience of buying him a beer. We've talked many times. It's always very light, of course. I keep it at small talk. I'm cordial, yeah, but I'm a hard egg to crack. I'd say we're somewhere between aquaintances and friends. Casual work aquaintance friends? But we have never worked together. Somehow I feel that this will be a different subject altogether.

I already have a wary feeling about this. His comments at check-in to the other guys were less than heartening. Don't worry, I'll handle it if anything happens. I can already sense a "stick behind me, little lady" sort of aura coming from him. It's subtle, but it's like a warning of future irritation lurking under the surface. Like when you're about to get a pimple and there's that tingle under the skin that won't go away, or the tickle in the back of your throat that signals you're catching a cold.

Why do we have this urge to be bigger or better than something else? If two women are sitting in a room together they automatically start sizing one another up. You know how it is. Mindgames and weighted comments. They have to figure out who is prettier, smarter, more stylish. Even among friends that kind of thing seldom ends. I'm guilty of it, I know. But men are much more outward about all that. If it's two men, they've got to top each other with something. This is on display every night in Konoha's downtown area. Just walk into a bar and you're in the thick of it. Who can drink the most beer. Who can burp the loudest. Who's had the most sex in the last week. Who can kill the most flies with a single senbon. I've seen some really bizarre challenges going on in the name of pride. Men are really strange creatures.

And this man, humble and amiable though he may seem, may have his own pride he's trying to protect. He's running a safe distance ahead of me, on the ground. Perhaps he doesn't like heights, or perhaps he's trying to keep himself from making mistakes in front of me. His pace is steady and careful and I flow easily through the trees behind him. From time to time he checks over one shoulder to mark me. He seems conscious that I'm watching him, conscious of my presence and mood. There's a chance that he is as wary of me as I am of him.

This morning Asuma seemed like being assigned to working with me was a bit of a let-down for him. He's got much more experience as a jounin and he probably expected to be paired with someone equally experienced. Someone big and strong and undoubtable. He probably feels like he'll have to show me the ropes or something. Maybe that's what he's thinking he'll do when we patrol. Show Cupcake how it's done and make sure she doesn't get a scratch on her, or it's on my manly pride. As he runs along, broad chest out and cigarette dangling cockily from the side of his mouth, I can almost hear him thinking along those lines. Leave the messy part to me. I'm a Sarutobi.

I roll my eyes and stifle a snicker. My brain's got a pretty funny impression of his baritone drawl. Luckily the Sarutobi in question doesn't hear. Well, I've had a hard time getting this far, and there's no way I expected it to end when I made jounin. It'll just take some work. I'll have to show him what I'm made of. My parents didn't train me all those years for me to grow up and play set dressing out here. The day I stand back for the boys to handle it again, the way I did when I was younger, is the day I die. And of course I should add, Asuma's not a bad guy. He's just weird. His file confirmed it for me. He's a walking contradiction.

He has really big arms, I notice. Thick. Not like Kakashi's arms, or Gai's. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his low-slung pants, lazy, carefree. I'm not sure if he knows how silly he looks running and smoking at the same time. His thick hair is mussed as usual. Like he forgot to comb it after he slept. I wonder if his hair can do anything else other than the bed-head look. Almost as if he can sense my thoughts, one burly hand goes to his spiky head and he runs his fingers through his hair. The heavy bracelet on his wrist glints in the moonlight.

We have finished our preliminary circuit around the perimeter of Sector E and are now covering ground we've already seen. Asuma is looking bored. "See anything?" I ask him over the wireless, trying to prod him. Stay watchful, now.

"Dead as a doornail here," he replies. His deep voice rumbles in the tiny earpiece. It feels weird to have him talking in my ear. It's so close. "You?"

I glance around, surveying the scene in the trees. "Same here," I let him know. The best thing to do is probably to stay in one spot then, and then if any intrusions occur, they'll be easy to spot. If we stay moving around it becomes easier for any enemies entering to hide their activity. "I want to find a good vantage point," I tell him.

He sounds agreeable. "Okay, I'll keep moving around down here and see if I see anything."

"Got it," I reply. I slip away into the trees, searching for the tallest one on the highest ground. The mood is tense tonight. The wind is carrying it, a sort of charged feeling. It makes me feel alert, wary. I lick my lips and remind myself to put on more lip balm when I get a chance. It's cooler than I expected out here. To be honest, I'd much rather be curled up with a cup of hot cocoa and a book than here in the forest. But the trees smell lovely, and the forest is filled with the hush of night and the mournful voice of the wind. I suppose this is the second best thing to being at home.

I find the tallest tree in the area. As I climb to the top, the sky takes my breath away. The rising moon is beaming graciously down on the forest, and an ocean of stars spills over me from overhead. It's so gorgeous I can't do anything but gaze in awe. I find myself wondering if Anko or Hinata can see it how beautiful it is. I bet Hinata likes the night sky. I wish I wasn't looking at this alone. It seems such a waste.

Speaking of not being alone, Asuma chooses that moment to make contact. "Got something," He's trying to keep quiet and so his voice is softened. It makes him sound quite different than his usual everyday tone. "To the southeast, maybe 40, 60 meters from me."

"How many?" I ask, frantically straining my eyes to find his location and any movement.

"Can't tell," he growls. He sounds like he's getting excited. He was probably looking forward to seeing some action. "Movin' in for a closer look."

I spot some movement to the south and so I get there quick. Peering down to the forest floor, I can see moving figures. "Ah-ha. I see them," I report. I keep my voice to a whisper to avoid detection by the units down below. They're not wearing Konoha vests. In fact they're not wearing any insignia on their backs that I can see. In any case, they're in our territory without leave and that makes them enemies.

So I try to get a quick count. "There're a few groups of three... Wait, there are more." Quite a few more, in fact. It looks like a few groups of three are bunched together in a single area. I can also see Asuma from where I am, a shadow lurking in the trees. His vision in the dark of the forest floor is probably not the best. Asuma is only a few paces away from one of the cells. They're sure to notice him and attack any second.

"I'm coming down," I tell him, hoping that he will stay put or get out.

"Traps," he announces. "One, two... at least seven visible. Wires and tags. If you move, be very careful."

Of course I'll be careful. I'm more worried about if he will be. All he needs to do is stumble into a wire or make one bad step and all of those enemies down there will be alerted and on him in no time.

What he needs is a good diversion. At least a diversion is one thing I can definitely handle. "I'll circle around from behind them," I offer, staying low and quiet as I move forward. "We can go from each side."

Asuma doesn't like this idea. Less chance for him to look good? "No, wait! You should get behind me..."

Now I know he didn't just say that.

"...and then we'll go together."

"Do you need help?" I ask him, trying to keep my cool. Come on, Asuma. I know you're a big Sarutobi and former guard of the daimyo and all, but you don't need to play Protect Princess in the field, here. Work with me.

"Nah," he replies. Perish the thought of him needing help! Why would he?

"Neither do I," I return, emphatic. Think about it. "So let's do this."

He makes no response. I'm already on the move anyway. With some quick seals I send two bunshin to the southeast side of the group of unmarked nin. One stays hidden and the other slips through the treetops to peep out at the men below. Yoo-hoo, over here.

Sure enough, they see her and take the bait. "Kunoichi!"

It is as though the magic word has been spoken. A ripple goes through the crowd. Suddenly they're very animated, excited. "Puny bitch! Get her!"

And with that they all charge in a big wave. I smile to myself. Fools.

At this moment Asuma explodes from his position in the brush. He looks quite upset. Perhaps he's afraid that he won't get any hero time? He charges through and gives a terrible shout. The units toward the rear of the enemy group stop and turn to regroup and face him. There are six. I'm sure he can handle six. So I take off to follow along after my bunshin.

One bunshin is leading the pack, moving just slowly enough that they can follow. I make sure she trips on a tree branch here and there, or fumbles for grip as she climbs. This gets them interested, and they follow blindly along. Unfortunately she's leading them in a giant circle. This bunshin is for the purpose of diversion. She's like the carrot dangling in front of a dumb pack animal.

The second bunshin I made is for the purpose of confusion. This one trails along behind the pack. I want to get a good number to fight at once, and that means I've got to split these boys up. From my count there are perhaps ten, eleven men on hand here. I've faced quite a few adversaries at once before-- my average max is around twelve-- but I've got a long night on hand here and my stamina's not the best. Just to play it safe I think it's best to pick some off before I start. There's no way for me to tell the level of these boneheads. I'm assuming it's pretty low, considering how they ran off into unknown territory after an unknown enemy without checking things out first. No decently-ranking shinobi I know runs blindly like that.

Bunshin One hides in the trees and when the enemies catch up, they don't know which way she went. They start guessing. "This way. She went straight, I saw her."

Bunshin Two arrives on the opposite end of the group. She pokes her head out and then hides again. The effect I'm going for is as though she were silly and didn't realize the enemies were there. Oopsie! "Ah, there she is!" cries one of the men. "Slippery little whore."

"No, she's that way," another insists. "She went straight down that path."

Bunshin One waves a hand from her tree as temptation. "See? See, I told you. She's over there."

Now tempers explode among the ranks. Female presence tends to have that effect, after all. Ah, the testosterone is flowing plentifully tonight. "Fine! You guys go that way. I saw her this way, and I'll go this way."

"She went this way, I'm telling you."

A shoving match breaks out. "Go that way if you want to! We'll see who gets her!"

"You're gonna feel really stupid when I drag her back with me!"

These guys are killing me. I'm having to work hard to hold in my laughter. I never expected them to be quite this hotheaded. It's pathetic, especially considering the fact that I'm actually in neither direction. They can't guess what's going on? Too bad. They'll be dead before they have time to figure it all out.

Bunshin One occupies her pursuers for a bit for me, leading them again in a wide loop. I'm sure they'll never notice anyway. I turn my attention to Bunshin Two and how best to dispose of the six men chasing after her.

I have her make a figure eight while I survey the territory for anything useful. Speeding ahead of her, I locate a dip in the forest floor beyond some sunken tree roots. Looks like that would be great for trapping them easily. It isn't deep enough to really be a hole, but it's enough that it would take them some time to climb back out of. Yes, this will do nicely.

Bunshin Two leads the enemies in my direction. I position myself directly above and soon six men come tumbling into the hollow after the apparition. They stumble over the roots and each other, landing in a tangle at the bottom. I'm ready for them. Hidden in the trees above, I break Bunshin Two's jutsu and rain kunai down on them. A few of the attackers are quick enough to block with their own weapons, but I catch one in the eye and another in the throat. They're out. A third gets a blade in the abdomen but he doesn't go down.

Next step, then. I begin a series of hand seals. Four left, right? No problem. First I just have to keep them still. I finish the seals and drop some leaves down to catch their eyes. Sure enough, they look up, and the genjutsu begins. The enemies begin to wander around below me, confused and helpless.

What I've done to them is simply give them visual stimulus. Genjutsu is, simply put, tampering with the way the brain interprets information given by the five senses. High-level genjutsu manipulates many or all senses at once. All this jutsu is is visual, so it's pretty simple. With one bunshin out there and another group to handle after this, I don't want to push my chakra control too much this early in the game.

Right now my opponents are finding themselves lost in my illusion. It's hard to explain how to do this, but I'll try my best. It's like being conscious in two places of my mind at once. Have you any idea what I'm getting at? One part of me stays on guard and makes sure I'm doing what I need to to control the jutsu and avoid interruption. And in the back of my mind, I picture what I want to show them with the genjutsu and let it flow out through my chakra into the night air.

The scene is simple, but it seems to be working quite well. Suddenly everything has gone dark. No moon, no stars. The forest is strange and cold. Everything is moving very slowly. Your body feels heavy and weakened. You shouldn't have dared to come here, into Leaf territory. You're lost, and all alone. The others you came here along with? What others? There's no one else around. No one to help you find your way, no one to hear you scream...

The four men are helpless and dazed. They gaze around slowly, confused and disoriented. I strike from above with shuriken at their exposed necks. Too easy. Three go down like ducks in a carnival game. To my surprise, however, the last one snaps out of the jutsu and blocks with a kunai. He looks directly up at my perch in the trees. I'm spotted.

He's a big one, this man. Almost two meters tall, hair black as ink and face is weathered with battle scars. This one seems to be stronger than those others were. He was able to break out of the jutsu, after all. Perhaps he was their leader. He's wearing some sort of armor over the chest and shoulders, so I know any hits there will be useless. I send a bunshin down to face him. He slices at it with his blade and it dissipates into smoke and leaves. I leap higher into the treetops, trying to reconceal my position. He follows with a mighty jump, but he hasn't marked my new position yet.

I send five bunshin down in different directions to attack him in order from all sides. Timing is everything in battle. It's more choreography than anything else. The rhythm is essential. I feel it thumping inside my heart and guide my bunshin accordingly in a deadly ballet. One, two, hit, poof, scatter. I get in position behind him whilst he is thus engaged with my lovely accomplices. I will only have one try at this before he spots me. Three and Four are hit and disappear. It's almost my turn. I've got my weapon ready in my hand.

Five charges, and he punches her in the gut, and she's disappearing too. Smoke begins to flow and leaves to scatter. And at this moment, as he is still connecting with the punch, I dive down on him. I grab him by his dirty hair and shove an exploding kunai right through his neck. Letting go, I fall the rest of the way to the ground and dash away in case he falls too. I don't want to get tagged by the blast.

He doesn't have time to fall. The tag attached to the kunai explodes in a ball of flame. KABOOM. The sound is most satisfactory. I dust my hands off and bound away, pleased. Time to handle group number two.

My first bunshin has been leading the pack for a few minutes now. When I catch up, they are still charging along after her, tossing projectile weapons with terrible aim. I sigh. Where did they learn how to use these things? I'm sure I know Academy preschoolers with better hit ratios.

Just to shake them up a bit, I let the bunshin cringe as though she has been hit. A raucous cheer goes up from the group and they redouble their chase. My goodness, they're ugly ones, I notice. Dear lord. Let's finish them quickly and put them out of their misery.

I speed toward the front. The men are shouting threats at the bunshin with some pretty filthy language. I wrinkle my nose, disgusted. Scum. I don't think I can do five at once though, as much as I'd love to finish them now. I've got to hold them quietly in place first. Well. We'll give them what they want.

Bunshin One and I speed far enough ahead that we are out of sight. The men keep trailing along blindly. Their pace is slower than what I'd expect so I've bought myself a bit of time. I break off the jutsu for Bunshin One and create a new special bunshin with my mind. First I have to quickly conjure up the image I want. Let's go for the sex appeal, here. Catch them off guard. This bunshin is a wounded and helpless version of me, big shiny eyes and pouting, carnal lips. Poor little baby. Adjust that neckline a bit lower. There. No vest. It'll be a signal to Asuma if he happens by. She looks smaller and weaker without it, anyway.

It's perfect. Finding a clearing nearby, she drops into the shadows at the foot of a tree. Then I scream aloud as though I've been wounded badly. Sure enough, our pursuers are quick to find us, and when they do, they're filled with glee. "Did I get her? I got her!"

The enemy nin crowd around my tree like hungry mongrels. I can practically smell the hormones. Use your opponents' strengths against them, as they say. And in my experience, stupid or weak men fall prey easiest to their own masculinity.

"What should we do with her?" One of the intruders asks. He's short as a tree stump and just about as intelligent-looking. His round eyes are wide and excited, as though by stumbling upon a wounded woman in the forest he's somehow won the lottery.

My bunshin clutches her "injured" leg and whimpers piteously.

Tree Stump continues his musings. "Should we kill her? Or have fun with her first?" Ha, ha. I want to laugh here. You won't be having so much fun in a moment or two, you filth. I begin to make seals as the bunshin buys me some time.

An air of titillation rises from the five as this suggestion is made. They begin to close in around the tree. "Yeah!"

"This bitch sure made us chase after her for a while. Let's make sure we have her pay us back for our trouble," one of the group announces. Above, I roll my eyes. The chase wouldn't have lasted so long if you bozos could hit the broad side of a barn with a projectile.

I'm almost finished with my seals. On "wait," I'll be ready to go. My bunshin sniffles and looks up at them, absolutely precious. What an actress. "No!" she begs, desperate. Really, guys. She's just a sad, lost little kunoichi. Please spare her virtuous body. "No! Please, wait."

And now the bunshin snaps her head up and catches their attention fully. The trap has sprung. In this moment I am her and she is me, an extension of body and mind. I hold their attention on her eyes, gazing at them and feeling the pupils dilate and contract again as the jutsu begins. They're caught instantly, mesmerized. I'm so ready for this. I feel myself smiling in anticipation. Watch closely now, boys, you'll miss the part where you die.

The jutsu anchors them to the ground easily. They're terrified as they imagine that vines sprout and grab their legs. Hey, guys. If you were so bored that you thought it was going to be fun to brutalize a wounded kunoichi you found in the forest, don't worry. I'll show you a way better time. I grab their necks with the vines in my illusion, squeezing and constricting like a hungry python. All five are crying now and begging for help. I let them taste the fear a bit. Be careful who you mess with. Then I drop the ground from under their feet like a gallows trapdoor. And here I go.

I leap down to the ground, kunai ready and tight in each hand. I twist and the blades go out, disembowling each in turn. The blood flies around me and I'm flying with it. One, two, three-four and five, slicing smoothly from breastbone to groin. I twirl, feeling the movement of every muscle in my body as I go. Faster, faster! Slash and slash again for good measure, and I'm finished. I break the jutsu, very refreshed. Hot mess sputters out of their suspended bodies and they shriek, feeling their last pain.

I sigh with satisfaction. Very nicely done. Pretty messy though. I bring out a cloth and mop up a bit, giving myself a rueful shake of the head. Ah, Kurenai. You can't ever seem to be neat when you work. I wipe my cheeks and chest. My right arm's red sleeve hides the stains easily, as usual. I wipe the left and then get my sticky hands. Then I notice one last man standing there, at the edge of the clearing.

Asuma is there, staring at me. His face looks quite pale in the moon's waxy light. I take it he's finished off his six adversaries. There's blood sprinkled across his vest, and more left on his arms. He doesn't seem injured or anything, so that's good. He's wearing a weapon that looks like a cross between brass knuckles and knives on each hand. Perhaps that's what he uses to fight? His file hadn't made much mention of his fighting style in detail, it only gave his history and stats. I've never seen a tool like that before. Interesting.

"Asuma," I say, surprised to see him there. Was he watching? I feel a bit bashful, as though someone walked in on me singing loud with the radio or dancing in front of a mirror. You fight differently when you know someone's watching than you do when you're alone, you know. I begin to wonder what he saw, what he thinks I should have done and if he'll talk to other people about me. I don't know if I made mistakes. Did I? I go over my moves in my head. No. I did fine, that was just easy stuff. I'm okay.

But on closer observation I feel that more than critical, the man seems confused, baffled. Dark eyes wide and incredulous, he looks over at me, down to the bodies, and then back to me. The squeamish look on his face makes me feel a prickle of irritation. Is it that much of a shock to see me work? Exactly what is his problem?

His mouth opens as though he wants to say something, but no words come out. Finally he breathes, "Whoa."

I look down and busy myself with cleaning my kunai. I don't like the way I feel, and the way he's looking at me. From the back part of my mind I hear whispers creep back, recollections left over from teenage days and boys long dead or gone.

Kurenai, you're so weird. Why can't you just do normal stuff like everyone else? God, you're so useless.

If you always go around with a creepy face like that, no one will ever like you.

Don't you get it? Guys don't like girls who can do things like that. Guys like cute girls. Sweet girls. Girls they can protect.

My hands feel shaky. I bite my lip and straighten my shoulders, steeling myself. I'm calm. I'm cool. I bid my memories of adolescence to get forgotten again and I focus my concentration on the maintenance of my weaponry. That was then and this is now. I wipe the blade clean and check the cutting edge with my thumb. It's nice and sharp.

Asuma comes two steps nearer. He postures himself and lets out a sigh of smoke. The lilting curl of his breath rises toward the moon. When he finally speaks, it sounds like he's making an effort to sound tough. "Thought you were hurt."

"If I were hurt, I'd use the wireless, " I return, neatly. My first kunai is clean and I replace in in the holster.

"Right," he agrees, as though he had forgotten and was trying to cover it up. "But I wasn't sure."

I begin cleaning the second kunai. "The bunshin wasn't wearing a vest. I hoped you'd get the idea if you saw. I figured the enemies would be too stupid to notice something like that." I guess it didn't work as well as I had hoped, though. Better communication might help. Then again, I'm not the best candidate for good communication, now, am I?

And as a testament to my powers of conversationalism, Asuma comes back with merely a weakened, "Oh."

Cue silence is so thick you could cut it with a battle axe. This isn't quite working out the way I had hoped it would. My jaw feels tight and I'm not sure why. Asuma wipes his knives on his shirt like a slob and shoves them into a pouch on his thigh. Having properly cleaned my second kunai, I slide it into the holster and click the snap shut. But now I find I have inadvertently rid myself of objects with which to busy my hands. Dammit. I push my hair out of my eyes and then settle for folding my arms over my chest. My eyes dart around the shadows for any sign of more intruders. If we could hurry up and get back to patrol, I'd feel much more comfortable.

Yet Asuma seems to decide he wants to chat. Lucky me. "Genjutsu?" he asks. "Was that genjutsu?"

"Yes," I tell him, unsure where this is going. Isn't it obvious what it was? I'm not arranging flowers out here.

"I didn't know you could use genjutsu," he confesses, scratching his head and making his spiky hair even messier. "That's interesting."

I raise an eyebrow. Somehow he's got the false tone of a kid whose mother has commanded him to go dance with a wallflower girl at a party. "It's in my file," I remind him. It's common knowledge. No secret or anything.

"Right," he says, and he chuckles carelessly. "But who ever reads those?"

"I do," I return. That's part of our job! I look down at my nails, trying to fight my growing aggravation. "I took the time to read yours." In fact, I read it today while waiting for you to show up to a meeting you suggested but never planned and ended up sleeping right through!

"Oh." Asuma flinches and takes a step back. He looks away and takes a long drag of his cigarette. His shoulders slump in a way that makes him look forlorn, even sad.

Now I've done it.

I feel irritated and sorry at the same time. I guess I could cut Asuma a bit of slack. He probably hadn't bargained for any of this. I was sure that they would give him a lousy assignment after he fell asleep in the meeting. What I hadn't expected was that his "lousy assignment" would be me. That was a blow to the pride that I definitely hadn't enjoyed. It's possible that I'm taking it out on him.

Why do I always have to be so testy? Even as it's happening I can feel it, and I don't like it, but sometimes I just can't stop it. It dribbles out of me like too much hot sauce from the bottle. And then I'm left staring at my plate of conversational scrambled eggs, feeling very upset because I've ruined them. There is no rewind on human relations, unfortunately. Just like there is no rewind on these five enemy nin lying on the ground before me. They're ruined and done for, and nothing can bring them back again. I feel that somehow I've been at this place many times, staring at a pile of bloody mess and wondering where I've gone wrong. I'm good at taking things apart, but I don't have much experience with putting things back together.

And I can still hear their voices. Kurenai, you're so weird.

Well, at least they were right about one thing. I smile darkly to myself.

"Kurenai," Asuma says presently.

"Hmm." I answer, without thinking. I can't take my eyes off of the blood pooled around my feet. My voice is flat and dull in my own ears. "Mm. Right. We should get back to patrol."

"Well, either that..." Asuma is holding his cigarette in his hand and examining my face closely. His brown eyes show a trace of mild concern. "Or can we at least relocate this sorry attempt at a conversation-- a little ways that way or something?" He smiles dryly and jerks his head away from the gore strewn about the ground.

I'm so caught off guard by this that I almost laugh. He's a killer and he's uncomfortable standing here with corspes. For some reason this strikes me as entertaining. He really is so weird. "All right," I agree.

I step away from the haplessly departed individuals on the ground and follow after him. There's a peaceful little moonlit hollow just beyond the trees. Above us the needles and leaves make a cathedral ceiling of scent and sound. Cedar and pine mix with the smoke of Asuma's cigarette and tease my nose. The forest floor is soft underfoot with dusty leaves and spongy moss. Wind moans and whispers in the treetops high, high overhead as though trying to say something, but it cannot reach us here in the shelter of the forest floor. Down here where we are, there is a hush all around. "Here's good," Asuma announces, and flops himself unceremoniously onto the ground beneath a massive tree.

I nod my head and keep a weather eye on him, unsure what his intentions are. I hope he doesn't plan on taking a nap or something. We've been still long enough, after all. This being something we're being paid for, I don't feel right slacking off. If there's anything I dislike, it is a slacker.

He starts digging around for something in his packs, holding his right arm out at an unusual angle. I then realize that he's been injured on his forearm. "How did that happen?" I ask him, indicating his wound. I can't tell how bad it is, but he seems calm and under control, so I leave it to his judgement.

"Eh, it was a chain sickle," he informs me. He searches the pockets of his vest. "Don't worry, it's not deep."

"I wasn't worried," I correct him. "You look fine to me." If you want a pity party, you've come to the wrong place. I'm not one of those girls who gets a kick out of playing nurse to injured guys. Suck it up and don't get hit next time. That's just about all you'll get from me.

Asuma snorts, but he doesn't seem to disapprove. In fact, he seems like he finds this funny. He's smiling. I feel myself smile a little too.

He's still looking through his pouches. I figure he must be looking for some gauze with which to wrap his injury. I wonder why he hasn't got it properly packed in his first aid pocket of his vest like he's supposed to. It's standard procedure-- and we even initialed on the release form at check-in that we had all of our equipment with us. I sincerely hope this isn't a habit of his. That'd be sure to drive me nuts. I get out my roll of bandages with a sigh. Good thing one of us is prepared.

Sure enough, the next thing out of his mouth is, "Got anything in the way of bandages on you?"

I fire the small white roll at him. Hope he remembers to buy me a new one to replace it.

Asuma snatches the gauze out of the air with impressive reflexes. "Oh. Hey. Thanks." He rubs out his smoke and then he does something I'm not at all prepared for. Not at all.

With his left hand, Asuma unwraps the white banding he wears over the middle of his forearms. It isn't that that's the problem, though, no. The problem starts when he proceeds to roll his long-sleeved shirt up past the shoulder. Asuma always wears his shirts loose and baggy, so I've never really gotten an idea just what's underneath. And that's a good thing, too, as I'm about to find out.

I try not to look. I fail. Then I try not to stare. I fail that, too. With every roll of his sleeve upward, I'm exposed to more and more of just how thick Asuma's arms really are. Good lord, they're like tree limbs. He's got muscles like I've never seen on any of the other men I know. Not so big that they're unnatural, like an anatomy chart with bulging veins or anything, but definitely more brawn there than the average slim and trim, built-for-speed shinobi. They're toned and nicely defined, from what I can see in the dim light. Not bad. Very not bad.

"Genjutsu, huh," Asuma muses aloud to no one in particular. He wipes his blood up with the sleeve of his shirt and proceeds to do one of the most clumsy wrapping jobs I've ever witnessed. Is he trying to tease me or something? It's so bad that it's almost like he's making an effort to mess it up so that I'll be tempted to stop him and do it the right way. Well, no deal. I am after all, as some of my chuunin co-workers used to call me, The Ice Cube. Yuuhi Kurenai is a woman of composure. She is not one to swoon over every nicely muscled arm that comes her way, no matter how sturdy or potent.

He looks up suddenly. "What kind of genjutsu was it?" he wonders. His voice rises a bit at the end. The effect is a little boyish, almost shy. "If it's okay to ask."

I blink at this, my attention torn away from his solid tricep. "It was just simple stuff, really." What an unusual question. Why does he want to know?

"I hadn't seen that before," he tells me, thoughtful. There's a flicker of interest in his dark eyes.

"You seem curious," I observe.

He grips the bandage in his teeth as he ties it. My ears grow hot for an unknown reason. Oblivious to me or my ear problems, Asuma continues the conversation anyway. "Yeah, maybe. Genjutsu isn't something I've seen a lot of. And everyone has a different style." With that he ties his bandage off. But he doesn't bother to roll his damn sleeve back down.

Well, if it's genjutsu he wants to see, that's something I can definitely help him out with. I feel a devious little gear begin turning in my head. I run my fingers through my hair and look away, nonchalant. "I could show you if you want," I let him know.

Asuma's face goes pale in response and he looks like he's swallowed something bad. He starts to shake his head to say no. I smirk. So he is afraid. Hah. Take that.

I'm inwardly celebrating my revenge for that arm business when he speaks up again. "Sure, I'm game."

This takes me quite by surprise. I'm still trying to gather what is going on when he stands to his full height and stretches. I find myself looking up, up, up. How tall is he, anyway? He's huge. When he stands near me, I truly feel my smallness.

I blink my eyes and attempt to recompose. With a sniff and a proud toss of my hair, The Ice Cube is ready to go. "All right, then." Hear me, Sarutobi? That's your cue to chicken out.

"Go for it," he says, cool as a cucumber. "I'm ready."

Ack. Something about this doesn't seem right. I guess I expected him to say no and that would be it. He's really that curious about what happens during my genjutsu? I feel a nagging feeling from my conscience, but it's a bit too late for me to back out now. "Just hold still," I ask of him, as I move closer. If he tries to fight during the jutsu he has a chance of hurting me or himself.

"Will do," Asuma answers, smoothly. He looks down at me with no flinch or protest. His eyes are the color of cold black coffee, with a crinkle at the edges. The right corner of his mouth twitches twice as I watch. I am unable to tell if this is a sign of mirth or of nerves. Perhaps he just wants a new cigarette.

I feel a drop of guilt and I'm not sure I should go on. When I speak, my voice comes out softer than I intended. "I won't... do anything to you, don't worry. "

"I'm not worried," he grins, serving my own words right back to me. His teeth peek out from behind his grin, shine white at me in the deep shadows. The slyness in his reply is heartening. My lips spread into a slow smile too. I like his answer.

"Here I go," I tell him.

The jutsu isn't a special one or an advanced technique or anything. It's the same one I used during the previous battle. As I make the seals I watch him closely. It isn't often that I use my techniques on someone I'm leaving alive. I want to make sure nothing goes wrong.

Asuma's sepia gaze is trained on mine. He must have guessed that I mainly start jutsu by using my eyes. The expression on his face is soft and serious, his brow relaxed, his lips calm. I am impressed by how much he trusts me. I wonder why he feels it's all right to let me into his mind. I wonder if he extends this kind of trust to other people as easily. If he does, he's an idiot. If this were the other way around, I'd never agree to it.

His eyes are deep in the shadows of the forest. I can feel my chakra flowing out of me and connecting with him. I can sense his chakra tingling below the surface of his own control. It's sharp but subdued, a still mass. It seems heavy, like a hot air pressure front kept at bay.

I twirl my vines out of the ground in Asuma's mind, shaping them with my thoughts. The tendrils are soft and cool, soothing to the touch like silken threads. They wrap securely around his legs and left wrist-- careful with that injured right arm, though. Now they're holding him fast, holding him in place so that he can't get away. Here's the part where the victim usually struggles. But not Asuma. He stands there steadfast, not closing his eyes and not breaking himself out of the jutsu by stopping his chakra flow. I can feel him quieting his body, telling his muscles not to move as they feel they should. He's got some remarkable control skills, I realize.

My last vine creeps up on him ever so slowly. This is the part where I usually drag it out a bit. The victim has time to watch and feel the fear ride them to a climax. Asuma is eyeing the last vine with trepidation, but he isn't moving. The vine slithers up the curves of his bare right arm, across his shoulder and slips silently around his neck. The leaves caress the skin of his throat like fingers, teasingly. He swallows hard.

It is at this point that I notice my cheeks are warm.

Suddenly this seems like it's going a little too far for me to be comfortable with. It doesn't feel like simply killing, the way it usually does. This has been one of my favorite scenarios for finishing groups of enemies off for a long time, but right now, now that it's just Asuma and me, it's not the same. I can see my reflection in the liquid of his eyes, feel the sensation of his chakra flow, his breath and heartbeat... it's awfully intimate. I feel too close to him.

I had better finish this. I wrap his neck and drop the ground. In the illusion, he falls and the vine catches him around the throat. The vine acts as a noose, choking him. He hangs, he struggles for a split second, but I don't have the heart to let this go any longer. I break the jutsu quickly before he needs to struggle any more.

Asuma's eyes clear. He is left just standing there, looking completely lost. I search his face closely. He blinks a few times and looks around him, as though he is trying to remember where he is. He puts a hand to his throat. "Whoa," he says softly, trying to catch his breath. His voice is husky and dry. "Whoa."

I feel unsure, uneasy. I don't know how much he understood. I don't know how much he saw of me behind the genjutsu. I have the feeling I've shown him too much of myself. Maybe I should have chosen something a little more general. He'd never know if it was the same as what I'd used in my battle earlier. I'm not sure what he'll say now. He might criticize me, or he might try to flatter me too much. It's likely he'll try to play it off that he wasn't afraid. Big guys like him usually go for the macho tough guy act, after all. I wait silently and observe him, wondering what he'll do.

Asuma lets himself fall to the ground beneath a tree again. He lights up a cigarette as fast as his unsteady fingers will let him and sucks on it like it's his last ever. As he does so, it's like I can feel the moments ticking in my head like a stopwatch. Presently he looks up at the moon and sighs a cloud of health-hazardous haze into the air. "That was pretty freaky," he declares at length. "The vines were really... real. It felt real, I mean."

Relief washes over me. Not only does he seem to be all right, but this approval from him makes me feel just a tiny bit encouraged. I'm sure he's seen quite a bit during his career, after all. His lack of either uninvited criticism or overly flattering comments pleases me-- I find both immensely irritating. "It has its weaknesses," I admit, with a small smile, "but with these kinds of enemies, it works pretty well."

He nods, not unkindly. "The falling part was pretty scary," he confesses. "Even though I knew it was just genjutsu." This is unexpected, to say the least. I don't think most men are able to easily admit fear of something. I regard him soberly. I'm touched, and at the same time I have to wonder why he's being so honest.

"Almost everyone is afraid of the feel of falling," I tell him. Including me, when it's not by my own control. Yet notice I'm not able to tell him so directly. I suppose he's much more mature than I am in that respect.

"I am, that's for sure," he snorts and pauses to give a puff on his cigarette. He breathes out slowly, lets the smoke trail upwards past his messy hair on its way to the sky. "I hate it."

I feel mild amusement. But duty calls. "Well. We should get back to patrol."

"Right," he agrees. He climbs to his feet with a little groan of effort. "But first?"

"Hmm?" I respond, mildly curious what he has to say.

Asuma straightens and rubs his shoulder. His brow is knitted with thought as he speaks. "About earlier. When you took off like that."

"Yes?" I acknowledge, wary of what will come next.

"I don't like that," he says. His speech is slow and deliberate. He really doesn't quickly offer his opinion without consideration, I notice. That's unusual. I don't know many people like that. "Let's stick together when we can."

"Fair enough," I agree with him, blithely. But if we're going to be frank, it will have to be a two-way street. "There are things that I don't like, too."

"Huh?" He blinks, surprised. What? But I didn't do anything, his face seems to declare.

"I don't need you to protect me," I inform him, calmly.

"That's what partners do," he tells me, with a shrug. His lower lip presses upward into the beginning of either a frown or a pout. I suppose he doesn't like being criticized. Then again, who does?

"Ah. Okay then," I nod, drawing out an example. "So if you were with Kakashi, say, would you tell him to get behind you? Would you tell him to stay in the back while you handled the messy part?"

"I didn't say that," Asuma says slowly, his eyes wide.

"Not out loud," I admit. "But you certainly acted like it."

He sighs and gives up. "No," he says. "I guess not." He doesn't look as though he really agrees with me, it looks like more of a case of he's saying what I want to hear just to shut me up. His expression is displeased, as though he wishes he hadn't brought up anything in the first place.

I realize that what I've said could be taken the wrong way. "I'm not Kakashi. I don't have half of his experience or skill," I backtrack, hoping to find the words to make him understand what I want him to. "But I can handle myself on a battlefield. If we're going to work together, we have to work together."

"Okay," he agrees, even though it is painfully obvious that I just made absolutely no sense to either of us. A question mark is practically written right on his face.

"I guess..." I try to explain. It feels like an eternity passes while I hesitate for the right words to come together. There must be something I can say that will verbalize my feelings on the subject better than I'm not Cupcake. But words are failing me as usual and god, I want a cold beer all of a sudden.

Meanwhile Asuma is looking down at me with a knit to his brows that says he is feeling quite out of his element. Women? With feelings? His posture reads intimidated. And I realize then that maybe what he wants most is not to be honest or to work well together, but for me to just shut up and leave him alone.

So I back down for now. It's simpler that way. "Just forget it. I don't know what I'm trying to say."

Asuma blinks and tries to wave away my statement. "No, no. I think I understand what you mean," he says, but it is obvious he is only saying this because he feels he should. He has this bewildered look to his face that says he has no clue what I'm on about. I feel stupid for even trying.

So I turn away, forcing my voice to sound breezy. "No. It's okay. Just don't worry about it." My sandals feel loose. I crouch down and tighten them methodically. First the right, then the left. I stand again but I don't turn back to face him. I feel too shy, embarrassed for the things I've said, or tried to say. I have a tendency to make things too complicated and it appears that I have succeeded in doing so yet again. Hopefully he will forget about all of this soon. It is Asuma we're talking about, so that shouldn't be too big of a favor to ask, right? With any luck he may have even have forgotten already. "We should go finish patrol."

I really don't know about how this partnership will work out. It feels so awkward. Maybe I should have been with someone else. If they were going for a balance, I could have been with Gai and we'd have another taijutsu-genjutsu combo to back each other up with. Then again, Gai and I were partners, lord knows Asuma and Kakashi would go slacking and goofing off in the forest together. They'd probably even forget to come back. As a matter of fact, they'd probably exist there quite happily for some time until they ran out of porn or cigarettes, whichever came first.

All right, all right. So even I have to admit, there's probably a reason that the groups were made this way. I'd bet whoever made the pairings was thinking about that from the start, even. And who's to say being with Gai would be any easier? I have no idea how well we'd get along. It might be even more uncomfortable with someone else. I press my lips together, disappointed with myself. I really have to learn how to work with people better.

My world is very small, when you think about it. My job is dangerous but it's all I know-- and all my parents and grandparents knew before me. I don't see much outside of my own village. I have never really felt a desire to. It's just not in me. I like my world small and neatly organized. The unpredictable and uncontrollable things in life throw me for a loop and ruin my neatly planned schedules. Unpredictable things are not fun for me. Uncontrollable feelings are ones I'd rather not feel. Being close to other people is dangerous sometimes, when you think of it. It opens up a whole new realm of situations in which things can go wrong.

I feel uncomfortable putting myself in a position that makes me vulnerable to other people. Maybe that's why I like genjutsu. Maybe that's why I like tying people up with things during genjutsu, for that matter. God, I'm twisted. And maybe, maybe that was why I wasn't too keen on this two-person partner patrol thing. In a larger group it's much easier to blend in. In a group of three I'd follow my time-tested strategy of letting One and Two play off of each other and I'd be the aloof third. Two feels uncomfortable, vulnerable. Alone together. If you have a problem or things go sour, then you're stuck.

Soon we are running through the trees again. In the treetops the wind howls and tears at my limbs as I course along. There is something that physical exercise does to wear away at stress and worries. Nature helps, too. I felt the nagging of my mind quiet as I trailed along behind Asuma. I focused on the red Konoha circle on the back of his vest and just moved towards it, and the rest sort of fell into place. Sometimes when I'm upset or uneasy about things, something that seems like a big deal turns out to be something that really didn't matter at all. I hope this would eventually become one of those cases.

It wasn't anything big. Just normal stuff that I usually worry about. You know, stilted conversations, botched battles of wills, and the like. Those sorts of things often bother me for a while after they happen. I think that's the mark of being both an introvert and a perfectionist. My brain mulls over the small details too much and what I should have done here or could have said there to fix the problems even after it's too late.

But as I was about to find out, in comparison to things to come, things like this-- these were trivial and stupid things for me to have the luxury of feeling uneasy over.

Note from author: So, um, how is it? What do you think so far? Comments, reactions, feedback, constructive criticism are all very welcome. So far I've been able to improve things a lot and make some good edits and repairs because of feedback from readers. Thanks to those readers and their honest (and kind, kindness is important) helpful comments.

I'm interested to hear if you think people are in or out of character. How do you feel about the characters' development? Do the characters think to themselves too much? Also, were there any lines that stood out to you as particularly good or bad? Do I have any bad writing habits or anything I do that is too repetitive? Is there anything that feels particularly strong or weak? If you liked or dislike the story, I'm interested to hear why or what strikes you about it or stays in your mind. Feel free to give me your thoughts!