"Youswell. Last town to the east."

So what. That was the only interesting thing about it. Ed certainly wasn't happy about coming to some back country town. It had been empty and poor with people on scraps while the commanding state officer lived in a mansion- this was more than Edward and Alphonse had come for. And Ed hadn't even planned on doing anything. He wasn't interested in anything but finishing the job then searching for the Philosopher's Stone- which he still wasn't sure was real, yet he seemed to be the only one out of the two brother's worried about it.

"This is both our home and our coffin."

However, unknowingly, the town foreman had persuaded him and Ed didn't even realize it until it was all over-the deed to the town safely in the hands of the residents, Yuki running off, his lackies going back to HQ, and Lyra just simply disappearing. Then Ed and Al were back on a train heading to Xenotime, the city of gold. It would be their first lead on the Stone.

"That was good of you, Edward."

"Hm?" Ed perked, swerving his eyes from the passing scenery to his brother, "What was?"

"Helping those people like you did." Edward couldn't see, but he was pretty sure that if he could, Al would be smiling. Even though it still hurt Ed to look at his little brother and the way he was, since Winry had, literally, slapped some sense into him it was easier.

"Oh, right." Edward lounged, setting his feet on the seat across from him where Al sat. "Just because I'm a dog of the military doesn't mean I have to act like one." He stared out the window again, hands behind his head.

"You probably don't understand….."

Ed frowned. What made that drunken, back country jerk think he wouldn't understand? Why wouldn't he understand what it was like to have a home and then loose it? He did! He remembered what it was like to have a home to go to. A warm place to go when it got cold. A place to go when you were hungry and tired and felt unloved. A place where you were fed, where you slept, and where you were loved with every fiber of being that you had. That you all had. Where you were all loved.

"Mother." His lips formed the name before he even thought about it. She had fed them, put them to sleep with bedtime stories and loved them unconditionally. He had just tried to love her back.

"Did you say something, brother?"

"I was just talking to myself." Ed sighed.

He did remember, but that's all he had-memories. Memories of what Al really looked like, memories of their mother, memories of their home. Because they didn't have a home anymore. It was just a smoldering heap now. Burnt wood, burnt memories. There was no going back after that-there was no place to go back to. It sealed their path, their destinies, their fates, their lives.

Ed was getting sad, and he didn't want his brother to see it. It was important that Al never saw him faulter. He was, after all, the older brother. He stood up, "I'll be back. I'm going to look for some food. I'm starved." That sounded like a good enough excuse. And Al bought it, like the gullible little brother Ed knew he could be.

Really, Ed just found an abandoned train cart, which wasn't hard-the train from Youswell was completely empty except for the crew. No one went to Youswell, and no one left.

"This is our home and our coffin."

Yes, he knew! He knew what that meant! So why did it keep coming back to him? Why couldn't he get it out of his head? Why was it so important to him? Why, why, why?

Because he didn't have a home to stay at until he died. He would probably die as a military dog. Ed slumped down onto a bench, running his left hand through his bangs. He hated touching himself with his right hand-hated remembering that he was only half a human.

Thinking about the day that he and Al burnt down their house, he could feel the heat on his back. The heat from the fire. He could hear the sound of the wood crackling and burning. The house collapsed, the windows shattered and the roof came crashing to the ground, but neither of them looked back. To look back, was to hesitate, and to hesitate was to admit that they weren't ready to leave. They never looked back.

"October, wasn't it, Ed?" He asked himself. "Yes, yes, October. October third." As if he would ever forget. He would never forget. "But I could, couldn't I?" Was it possible for him to get so caught up in the military that he would forget the whole reason he had so willingly walked into Central and into the State Alchemy Exam? He would like to tell himself no, but he had never known that one day he and Al wouldn't have a mother, or that they would try and bring her back. That she would die. So the future was that unknown, but Ed would make sure he would never forget.

So Ed used the rest of the evening light to carve that single thought, that single feeling and that single date into the lid of his watch. It wasn't perfect- jagged and crooked- but it did it's job. The silver shards of the chipped away metal gathered in a small pile in the lid. Ed tipped it into his gloved hand and thrust his arm out the open window. They scattered, the last tip of red sun catching the reflection.

Something new was starting. Something different. Ed knew this. He and Al would be ready for anything. They would follow the path of the Philosophers Stone, no matter how dangerous or difficult it will probably be. And Ed knew that no matter what happened, he would never forget.

Don't forget

3.oct.10

He would never forget the day that he and his brother burnt down their house, left their home and set out to make things right again.

Ed wandered blindly back to his seat. He had been gone for quite some time, so when he got back he hadn't expected anything less than a lecture from his younger brother about leaving him.

Ed didn't give a reason as to why he was gone for so long, or where he had been. He plopped down in his seat, feeling oddly content and looked squarely at Al. "You haven't forgotten, have you, Alphonse?"

"Forgotten what?"

"Never mind. It was a stupid question." Ed knew that Al would never forget.

And now neither would he.