Chapter 5

Mezt and I were sitting in the free chair, Lok was sleeping on my lap. Santiago and LeBlanch had had to sit down, each one on the armrests, even Lucas had sat on the floor, they all had a puzzled expression on their faces, we had just told them everything and they were processing the information. We had eight minutes of absolute silence and it seemed that it was lengthening. It turned out that Mezt had told them that Lok was alive, but not under what circumstances, and he let me explain the situation.

Sophie was the one who took the news the worst, although if they told me that my partner has become a one-year-old baby, I would also be white as a ghost. After two more minutes, Den started laughing, started with a giggle and ended in an uncontrolled laugh, we all looked at him without understanding.

-God, these things only happen to Lok. Really, since I've known him, the most stupid, crazy and crazy things only happen to him.-I smiled a little at his comment.

-He's not funny! -Although Sophie did not agree- This does not ..., he has no thanks!, Excuse me.

Sophie got up and hurried off, Lucas following her after saying goodbye to her with an apologetic smile and asking LeBlache to explain everything later. Den kept finding the situation surreal, and therefore amusing. He was quiet until he confessed that he was dying to tell Harryson. Mezt and I were alarmed and immediately intervened.

-Guys, no one can know this.

-If it reaches the ears of the Organization or the sect, his life would be in danger again. -Continuous Mezt-Also, in these circumstances he is completely defenceless. You must keep the secret and take care of him, make sure Dante does not kill him, until the Foundation researchers find a solution.

After a few more explanations, Mezt said his goodbyes and left, with the excuse of going off to investigate. He also threatened to call from time to time to see how Lok was doing.

When Mezt left, an overwhelming tension fell over the room. LeBlanche went off to brief Lucas and Sophie and do some homework. Santiago tensed, it seemed that he was lost and did not know how to react, Den just seemed nervous and rambled on that he was now the oldest and that he was going to take a lot of photos and videos. Cherit was joining in and giving Den ideas to torment Lok, and Zhalia made her expression of calm and serenity disappear, and change it to one of anger and hatred, she felt like she was judging me.

When Mezt and LeBlance were there, I felt that we could go back to having that normalcy that we had before, but now that the two people who were the voice of sanity and reason had left, I felt that it was something quite distant.

-I think I should go- I got up repositioning Lok to have a more comfortable and secure grip and allowing him to continue sleeping.- Do you want to come home?

I don't know where I got the value from, but I did ask. Den looked excited and his face lit up.

-I am going.

Zhalia responded by standing up. She frowned even more and narrowed her eyes daring me to protest. Turn from joy to terror, and after sharing a look with Santiago, she refused.

-I think it is too late, and it seems that Sophie is not well. I'd better stay and help a little around here. But I'll go see you. Cherit and I want to take a lot of photos and videos.

I admit that I hated Den and Chetir a little, I was afraid of Zhalia, well, I didn't really know how to interact with her and that scared me, something that had always been so easy, now it seemed impossible.

We said goodbye to Den, Santiago and Cherit and left the house. I was surprised to see that the car was still parked, although on the other hand I had not returned the key to Mezt. Zhalia went straight to the passenger door, while I gently positioned Lok so he would not wake up.

The return trip seemed endless, Zhalia hadn't looked at me once and the silence that reigned over us was suffocating. I clenched my hands on the wheel, I was frustrated, I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before, for everything to be fine, to be able to talk to the woman I loved as we always had.

When we get home, I park next to the door. Zhalia went to leave, but I locked the doors, she looked at me even more annoyed.

-Say it, whatever you have to say, say it now.

-What do you want Dante to tell you? What am I angry? Disappointed? What do I feel cheated on? Is that what you want to hear?

-Yes! That's what I want to hear. I want to hear you express yourself and talk about things.

-There's not much to talk about. You left, I gave you your space, understanding and support, and you only worried me, I came to believe that you would die, and you lied to me. We talked almost every day and suddenly ... nothing, you didn't answer, you were missing, and when you answered it seemed that you were afraid, and there were days when you were fine. And worst of all, you knew how much we had suffered, for Lok, for you, and you lied to us, you hid from us that Lok was alive, even if he was a baby.- Zhalia sighed, I think she was relieved to let everything out.- The last times you talked to me, you had Lok, and you didn't tell me. You never called; we only wrote to each other through the logosbook. You didn't tell us you were coming, you let Mezt take care of everything. You left us scared and worried, when the reality was that you were better than ever.

-Sorry Zhalia. I have no excuse for that, just ... I can try to explain my situation a little, so you understand.

-I hear you.

I took a breath, the truth was that I didn't really know how to explain myself, I'm not a person who talks about his feelings. But it's Zhalia, and I have to. I looked forward as I couldn't look at her face.

-I was scared. When Lok died, I broke down, I was supposed to take care of you, I was your leader and I failed. I was unable to overcome it and I just fled; I went to Germany not to face the situation. When I met Lok I thought I was going crazy, probably, if I had agreed, I would not have tried to look for him, convincing myself that it was a coincidence, just a boy who looked like him. When I found out it was real him, I didn't believe it, and despite the DNA tests, I still didn't believe it was real. I really thought I would tell you, but I knew he would sound like a desperate madman, clinging to anything to keep hope, in fact, that's what Mezt thought. And even though Lok had returned, I still thought that he might disappear, that one day he would wake me up and be gone, that nothing had been real, and that I had really gone crazy. I still think it can happen. And the more time passed, the more scared I was to come back and tell you about it, time kept passing and ... I didn't know how to go back. I left you when you needed me, I was ashamed. I knew I had to go back and tell you, but I didn't know how to do it. This whole day has had me terrified, I just wanted things to be the way they were before, wishing I had never left, that Lok had never left.

At last, I was relieved, I didn't know what would happen now, but after letting it go on everything I felt better. That pressure that was in my chest has disappeared. What will happen will happen I would face it, I would not flee again. After we both confessed and let everything come out, there was silence. A couple of minutes passed and finally Zhalia spoke.

-I can't forgive you, I'd like to, but I can't, not after all we've suffered. I understand what you have told me, and your situation. I want you to know that nobody blames you for leaving, or for being bad, we all understood. Lok and you were very close, I know you talked almost every day, I know that Lok knows things about your life and your childhood and that you know secrets that the rest of us ignore. Nobody bothers us, you just joined in a different way, you were very fond of him, and he loved you too. When you died, we all suffered, and even if Lok doesn't say so, it was like losing a father again. And I know that I would not have faced your death better than you faced his. But I can't forgive you for lying, or for hiding that Lok was alive. Not yet.

We fell into silence again, this time calmer, I could still get Zhalia and the boys to forgive me, there were still chances of recovering what was ours.

-Why did you decide to come home with me?

-Mezt said that we should protect Lok, from you. I'm only here so Lok doesn't die. And he didn't trust Den, or Cherit in charge of a baby.

-I have been taking care of him for almost two weeks, I think I have a slight idea of what I do.

-Sure…

Zhalia was smiling in amusement, the tension in her shoulders gone. By joking with her, she filled me with a quality in my chest that I had missed. It seemed that everything was going to be fine. LoK decided that sleeping was not to her liking and woke up moaning and pouting. I unlocked the doors, it was now bedtime.

-Anything else you want to say?

-Yes, I don't change diapers, or bathe children, or clean up mess.

Zhalia got out of the car and headed towards the entrance of my house, without waiting for me. I got out of the car with a sigh, this coexistence was not going to be easy. I pulled the suitcase out of the trunk while bouncing Lok to keep him calm, I placed Lok's bag on top of the suitcase and went after Zhalia, he was kind enough to carry the suitcase up the stairs. Once in front of the door and with the keys in hand, I waited a few moments for my heart to beat back to a normal rhythm. I was very happy to be home again, in my house, I had finally made it, I had managed to return home. When I managed to assimilate everything, I was feeling, I opened the door and entered followed by Zhalia, but when I turned on the light, I lost all those pleasant emotions and feelings.

At the entrance of my house there was a baby carriage with a red bow on it. Zhalia chuckled as she went further into the house, leaving the suitcase and bag by my side. There was a note on top of the cabinet at the entrance.

Seeing that the current situation of Lok is going to lengthen, and how disastrous you are to keep him safe from your home, I have supplied you with everything you may need to take care of him, and I have prepared your house that is baby-proof. I know you are wondering when I have had time to buy everything, because it was while he was preparing the trip in Germany, and they brought it to your house this afternoon, that's why I had to go.

I have left the things in the corresponding room of him so that it is easy for you and do not get confused, and if you have any questions, call me. I know you will thank me sooner or later, probably very soon.

By the way, save all the things for my future grandchildren

Mezt

I rolled my eyes at Mezt's note, refolded it and shoves it in my pocket, I didn't need Zhalia to see it, and I was definitely not going to thank her for turning my house into a nursery. I went to the kitchen, there was a high chair, on the tray there was a set of plastic tableware with pictures of stars and rockets and on the kitchen table there were seven bibs, all with a red bow. Zhalia looked amused as she showed me the pantry stocked with food and many children's products, all with red bows, she scared me to look in the fridge. I was definitely going to go crazy with so much bond.

-I'm going to put Lok to bed.

I left the kitchen, I didn't want to know anything else about what Mezt had bought. Unfortunately there were still a lot of things left, like the child safety fences on the stairs, or the crib in Lok's old room, or all the children's clothes in his closet, or the changing table in a corner of his room, or the products. of the bathroom. He was definitely angry with Mezt, although I didn't know if it was for filling my house with baby things, for cheating on me, for having entered Lok's room or for touching Lok's things.

I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted to go to bed, today had been too exhausting emotionally and physically, I just wanted to go to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day too, I was going to spend most of the day removing red ribbons from my house, and I was going to have to start rewarding Zhalia and the boys, although hopefully they won't come to visit tomorrow It took time to readjust and having to protect Lok from Den and Cherit's shenanigans didn't appeal to me. Everything was going to be very hard.

I thought I could sleep late, how delusional. I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling while listening to Lok cry desperately at 7:00 in the morning. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but Mezt had put a communicator on my nightstand and I felt bad if he turned it off, it was not the same as ignoring it. When Lok began to despair, I had no choice but to get up and go to his room. He stopped crying intensely when he saw me come in, he was standing holding the bars of the crib, his head barely reached the edge, he was still pouting and moaning, but at least he was no longer screaming and crying desperately. I was tempted to leave now that he was silent, but that idea was impossible, because Lok raised his arms asking him to take it, and it is impossible to say no, and even more so when his face is stained with tears. Lok seemed to perk up when I held him in my arms and he came out of the crib.

-Are you happy? -Lok nodded- You don't like the crib, do you?

-NO- I didn't expect Lok to answer me, but I wasn't surprised by his answer, he seemed quite outraged with the crib.

- What I think is that you do not like not being able to do mischief in the morning.

Lok looked at me with a frown and puffing out his cheeks in anger, he looked so adorable. We went down to the kitchen, I left the baby fences open so that Zhalia wouldn't have to fight with her closures when she got up, I didn't need a bad-tempered Zhalia before noon, my purpose was to fix things, not make them worse.

I sat Lok on the high chair and strapped him down so I wouldn't worry about him trying to get out and fall. I didn't need to tear off the red ribbon, as Lok liked it very much and he took it to play. While he was entertaining, I removed the bow from the crockery set and threw it in the trash, took a plate and a fork and washed them, while it was drying in the drainer I prepared the Lok bottle and the coffee pot. I picked up the plate and finished drying it. I took a banana from the fruit bowl and split it in half, one of the halves cut it into small pieces and put it on his plate and the other half I kept in the fridge for the afternoon. I put it on the tray with the bottle and gave him the fork. I dedicated myself to preparing my breakfast forgetting a little about Lok, when I turned to take my coffee and my toast I saw the mess that Lok had made with the banana. The fork had been forgotten, and from how sticky it was in his hands, I assumed that he had eaten with his hands. There were pieces of banana on the floor, in his pyjamas and in his hair. Sighing, I put my things on the table and took Lok out of the highchair, cleaned his hands in the sink and removed the pieces of his hair, I put him back on the highchair and this time, I put one of the bibs that I had forgotten and gave him the fork again. I started to eat breakfast while I was watching Lok, I was looking at the fork with great concentration until I threw it on the ground and continued picking up the banana pieces with my hands. I had to put down my toast to pick up the fork and wash it. I would give it to him again and I scold him for using his hands, it seemed that he had understood, because he started eating with a fork, but after 3 pieces of banana he threw it again and continued eating with his hands, I had to stop my breakfast again. This process was repeated two more times, when I lost my patience and fed him myself, while he was trying to eat my breakfast. It was a relief to finish with the banana, because the bottle he took with pleasure and by himself, so I was able to finish my breakfast.

It had not been like the mornings in Germany, Lok and I had entered into a conviviality and rhythmic relationship and coming from Venice that rhythm had been lost on the flight, like most of the luggage. Although it did not seem to be just because of the change in the environment, in the book that he had bought me, it said that the state of the parent caregiver could affect the baby, therefore, that I am not exactly "comfortable" may have affected our "relationship".

After breakfast I scrubbed what we had stained. Lok who started squirming and protesting for me to let go of them and let him run away to destroy my house. I left things to dry and took Lok out of the high chair, he tried to get all the way down to the bathroom, but he had no intention of staining anything, or destroying anything. After the breakfast adventure Lok needed a bath to remove the banana residue from ... everywhere. How could it be, otherwise, the uncoordinated breakfast moved to the bathroom, Lok cried and kicked all the time and I got drenched from head to toe. I thought the bathroom had been really bad, however when I opened the bathroom door it was worse. Zhalia had just got up and was in the hallway, she looked me up and down, from my bare feet and dripping pajama bottoms, to my dark circles and tousled hair, to the baby wrapped in a towel with a red face and traces of tears. If Zhalia was going to say something you didn't want to know, I walked by her quickly and entered Lok's room closing the door.

Putting on his diaper and dressing him was much easier than breakfast and a bath, and even Lok helped to get dressed. Then we went to my room so I could take off my wet pyjamas and get dressed for the rest of the day. I let Lok walk away so he would learn his way to my bedroom and not get wet in my pyjamas. I also allowed him to walk around my room freely while he changed me, giving him a chance to have fun getting all my socks out of his drawer. After putting them back, he took the pyjamas and took them to the laundry basket in the bathroom and left them with Lok's pyjamas.

We went back downstairs to the kitchen to greet Zhalia. Lok was very happy to be able to investigate this new place for him, minus the stairs. As I watched Lok walk towards the stairs and prepare to go down, I noticed that the stairs were longer and with slightly larger steps than the stairs at my home in Germany. Therefore, he was not going to give her the opportunity to go down or up the stairs, now I am glad about the security fences that Mezt installed.

We walked into the kitchen and Lok held onto my pants as he looked at Zhalia cautiously. Zhalia was dressed and eating breakfast across the table from where Lok and I had eaten breakfast.

-Good morning, Zhalia

-Good morning, Dante, mini-Lok- At the mention of his name, Lok hid more behind me- I deduce that the visit to the bathroom is the fault of the painful breakfast.

Zhalia pointed out certain things that she hadn't noticed, like how sticky the highchair tray and table were, and the pieces of bananas on the floor.

-I was coming to clean it now, but I need you to watch over Lok.

-I already told you that he wasn't going to babysit.

-I'm not asking you to take care of him, just to let me know if he leaves or approaches something dangerous. You don't have to stop eating breakfast.

I went to find the cleaning products that were stored under the sink. At that moment I realized how dangerous it was with a baby running around the house, he could put any of those things in his mouth, all deadly. In Germany he had no problems because they were stored in a closet with the handlebars too high for him. Luckily for me, Mezt had put baby locks on the closet doors.

-Dante, the brat just ran off to the backyard.

I looked up from where he was crouching, Lok was not in sight. I got up quickly to run after him, I had to catch him before he got into trouble, hurt himself or destroy something. Today is going to be very long.