Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K+
Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.
Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!
Two - See No Evil, Hear No Evil
Lita and Melina were walking down 9th Avenue Downtown San Antonio looking for Angela Perez's apartment. Lita looked her name up in the phone book and found her eventually after dialing several wrong numbers. When she got through she told her about the article and said she could help her so Angela invited her down.
"She's got the same last name as me, I feel it is not only my Divine obligation but my ancestral obligation to give her back what God gave her in the first place," Melina said pulling her cap down even further so that the people walking past wouldn't recognize her. She even went as far to wear sweat pants like Lita who had her hood up. This wasn't a choice as it was boiling outside but both their legs were so recognizable they knew they didn't have a choice. They reached apartment 3 and rang the bell.
"¿Quién es él/Who is it?" asked a Spanish voice.
"Es Amy/its Amy," Lita replied. The door opened after a loud buzz and Lita and Melina entered the building. It was painted red for the most part with plants sat decoratively at the entrance of every floor. When they reached the 3rd floor they saw a door open and figured she didn't wanna come to the door. Lita and Melina looked at each other and shrugged.
"A permanently red face will give you the lowest self-esteem," Melina said compassionately and they entered the apartment which had a red carpet and the curtains weren't drawn so there wasn't a lot of light coming in. They turned into what they realized was the kitchen and saw a woman with her back to them hunched over. Lita's eyes softened the woman was scared, she knew why so she approached her gently.
"Angela?" she asked softly.
"Sí/Yes," Angela answered weakly and Lita reached out and touched her.
"Estamos aquí ayudarle/ We're here to help you," she said but Angela flinched at Lita's touch.
"¡Nadie pueden ayudarme/No one can help me!" she yelled her voice choked with tears and Melina smiled.
"Puedo ayudarle/I can help you" she said and Angela looked up at the sound of her voice, there was something soothing about it that she just couldn't put her finger on and she turned and looked at Melina.
"¿Quiénes son usted/Who are you?" she asked her reddened face hidden in the shadows of the darkness. Lita drew back the curtains letting in the light and Angela cowered under her sleeve.
"¡No me mire, yo son horrible/Don't look at me, I'm hideous!" she protested and Melina came over to her and took her hand gently removing it from her sleeve.
"Angela I quisiera que usted me mirara/Angela I want you to look at me," Melina said and Angela slowly put her arm down inspired by Melina to look up and see the face that went with the voice.
"¿Quiénes son usted/Who are you?" she asked again peering into Melina's eyes.
"Era Melina nato Perez pero he sido reborn como Melina el milagroso para curar a los niños del dios en el nombre de Jesús Cristo y yo está aquí curarle mi hermana/I was born Melina Perez but I have been reborn as Melina the Miraculous to heal God's children in the name of Jesus Christ and I am here to heal you my sister," Melina said.
"¿Usted va a curar mi cara/You are going to heal my face?" Angela asked and Melina rose to her feet.
"Tengo ya/I already have," she said and Angela felt a warm sensation over her skin and she touched her face. It was no longer rough and sore and she felt it over and over again to make sure she wasn't going insane. It wasn't a dream her reflection proved it.
"¡Mi cara/My face!" she cried from the bathroom. Moments later she ran back out and hugged Melina lifting the Diva off her feet.
"¡Usted curó mi cara, usted es trabajador del milagro/You healed my face you are a miracle worker!" she cried jumping up and down forcing Melina to jump up and down with her and Lita watched with a smile, "No he estado fuera de mi casa en tres semanas, desde que ese individuo de la UPS vino entregar mi maquillaje. ¡Déjeme decirle algo que es la vez última que siempre consigo a cualquier cosa entrega especial enviada.¡Aquí tome esta caja que no la deseo en mi casa/I haven't been outside of my house in three weeks, ever since that UPS guy came and delivered my make-up. Let me tell you something that's the last time I ever get anything sent special delivery! Here take this box I don't want it in my house!" Angela said although she more relived than angry.
"¿cUps que usted dice/UPS you say?" Lita asked looking at the box her eye catching some strange writing on the side of it.
"Sí/Yes," Angela replied and hugged her too, "¿Oh le Bendigo para traerme a este curador, cómo puedo compensarle siempre/Oh bless you for bringing this healer to me, how can I ever repay you?" Angela asked ecstatically and Lita touched her hand gently.
"Dando su corazón a Cristo y sabiendo que él le ama no importa cómo usted mira/By giving your heart to Christ and knowing that He loves you no matter how you look," Lita replied and Angela closed her eyes as if receiving a message telepathically. She opened her eyes and looked at Lita reverently.
"Le untan/You are Anointed," she said.
"Sí /Yes," Lita replied.
"Y usted tiene pelo rojo llameante/And you have flaming red hair," Angela continued pulling down Lita's hood so that her hair was revealed, "Tenía un sueño que usted vendría y ahora usted tiene/ I had a dream that you would come and now you have,"
"Al Dios sea la Gloria/To God be the glory," Lita said and kissed Angela's hand, "El Dios le bendice Angela Perez/God bless you Angela Perez,"
Angela smiled warmly at Lita and blew both her and Melina a kiss as they left the apartment that was now filled with light and the smile of a beautiful middle aged woman that stretched from ear to ear.
"¿Por qué me toman siempre/Why do they always pick me up?" Melina asked and Lita threw her arm around her.
"Let's go see Trevor Richards and ask him," she said as the sound of Ave Maria flowed out of apartment 3 causing neighbors to stop and listen slowly taking the heavenly music in.
Casa Lavaca – Southtown:
Trevor Richards played fervently at his piano which was facing the window of his apartment so he could see anyone coming while he was playing. The sight of two women coming towards the building caused him to stop and re-read the note his daughter had written for him,
"A woman named Amy is coming to see you, says she can help you so look out for her. Love you Daddy – Juliette."
He buzzed the two women up and unlocked his door.
"Now we're gonna have to use sign language so don't say anything, he can't hear remember?" Lita said as they approached the open door.
"I've got a better idea," Melina said walking over to Trevor Richards and extending her hand with a warm smile. They stayed like that for awhile until Melina dropped her hand and Trevor looked at her with a smile.
"Are you Trevor Richards?" Melina asked.
"Yes I am," he said surprised at the sound of his voice.
"Do you believe in God?" she asked and Trevor shook his head.
"Yes I most certainly do," he said sticking his finger in his ear to make sure he wasn't going crazy.
"Well Sir my name is Melina the Miraculous and God sent me here to heal you, we just have a few questions and we'll be on our way – whoa!" Melina gasped as Trevor lifted her off her feet.
"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Trevor said clutching her tightly and Lita laughed at the way he was spinning her around.
"You're welcome," Melina squeezed out and she motioned to Lita to make with the questions because it didn't look like Trevor Richards was gonna be putting her down anytime soon.
"Mr. Richards hi, my name is Amy I was wondering if- "
"So you're Amy the one my daughter told me would come, oh thank you thank you thank you!" he said putting down Melina and picking up Lita and spinning her around too.
"Whoa!" Lita exclaimed and now Melina was the one laughing and it didn't look like Trevor would be stopping anytime soon.
"Excuse me Mr. Richards?" Melina asked delicately and Trevor stopped spinning Lita around and turned to face her.
"I'm so sorry where are my manners, would you ladies like a reward of some kind, a case of wine or a couple of Opera season tickets?" Trevor offered.
"No thank you Mr. Richards we don't need a reward, just keep on praising God and give your life to Jesus that's enough for us, well, for you really," Melina said and Mr. Richards shook his head in agreement.
"Whatever you say ladies, it's just so good to be able to hear again!" Trevor Richards said pumping his fists in the air with joy.
"Yes but you mustn't take your health for granted, give God thanks for blessing you with hearing or you might just lose it again," Melina warned him and Trevor got a little nervous and approached her apprehensively.
"What you think he's gonna take it away from me again?" he asked in a scared voice, "Is that why you're here to warn me? Oh golly I don't wanna make God mad, okay so all I have to do is give thanks and say my prayers and everything's gonna be alright right?" he asked desperately.
"Mr. Richards you can't bargain with God, just trust in Him and everything will be alright," Lita said and Trevor looked at her skeptically.
"Just trust in Him you say?" he asked anxiously.
"It's on our currency," Lita answered and Trevor pulled a twenty dollar bill out of the jeans pocket and read the inscription closely.
""In God We Trust," well I'll be damned," he said and Melina gasped.
"Well we certainly hope not!" she said and Trevor chuckled nervously.
"Mr. Richards could you tell us where you got your iPod from?" Lita asked the worrisome man.
"It was delivered to me by UPS last week as a birthday present from my ex-wife, I should have known it was cursed somehow, she never could understand my love of music," he explained. Lita and Melina looked at each other knowingly at the mention of UPS.
"Do you still have the box?" Lita asked and Richard nodded.
"Yeah," he said.
"Do you mind if I see it?" Lita asked.
"Sure give me a second," he said and headed towards his bedroom to find the box.
"Thank you," Lita said as he handed her the box. She looked over it closely and zeroed in on words inscribed on the side.
"Just like Angela's gift," Melina said looking over Lita's shoulder at the box as well.
"Can we take this Mr. Richards?" Lita asked and Trevor nodded fervently.
"Take it good riddens to bad gifts," he said and Lita touched him on the arm.
"I don't know if your wife cursed this gift but if she did I pray you will forgive her and not speak ill of her lest the words of your tongue bound you to a bitter life. You loved her once maybe you can find that part of your heart that remembers her fondly and bring those feelings to the surface again," she said softly and Trevor definitely was softened by her words.
"Thank you Amy I'll give it a shot," he said with a smile.
"God bless you Trevor Richards," Lita said and he waved to both her and Melina as they exited his apartment.
"God bless you too guys!" he said ecstatically and jumped onto his piano with zeal and gratitude, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned but I am saved by Your Grace and Mercy, thank You for this second chance. This one's for you Father. Enjoy!" he said.
"He's playing us out," Melina said recognizing the signature of "Joy to the World," "Just like Angela Perez,"
"Just their way of praising God for health and strength," Lita replied pleasantly.
"You think his wife cursed the iPod? And what's UPS got to do with all this?" Melina asked looking over the box.
"I don't know," Lita answered, "but I know someone who does," she said pulling out her cell-phone.
Toronto, Canada:
"Hello?"
"Hey Trish, we think something's going on with the UPS delivery service and we need your God-given talents to help us out, fancy a trip to America?" Lita asked keenly.
"Sure anything to be with my afro puff - I mean my compatriots in Christ," Trish answered blushing.
"Nice save Stratus, I'm sure he feels the same way about his Canadian cream pie," Lita responded and Trish blushed even harder.
"See you tomorrow, bye Melina," Trish said and hung up the phone her cheeks a strong shade of pink.
Texas, USA:
"I know something you don't know," Lita said to Melina teasingly.
"About what, the afro or the puff?" Melina answered and Lita screwed up her nose in confusion.
"I don't even wanna know," she said as they walked away from the most musical apartment on the block.