Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Four - The Blood of Jesus Christ

UPS Depot, Dallas Love, TX:

After Shawn and Hunter shook hands and signed autographs for a dozen UPS delivery guys Lita realized why it had been impossible for her to get Trish and Melina's attention last night: God didn't want them to come with her. It would have been too suspicious if the three Divas turned up and asked to look around for no apparent reason, whereas DX turning up and asking for three UPS uniforms to use as a stunt on Vince McMahon went over with no problem what-so-ever. As Lita tucked in her UPS shirt she took a moment and looked up in the air and said You're an Awesome God. Shawn looked up and said Thank You for giving me the willpower to not look at Lita while she was changing and Hunter said,

"Would you guys mind if I walked around like this?"

Shawn mouth dropped and he grabbed Hunter's pants and beat him over the head with them.

"Put these on right now!" he yelled and Lita tried to suppress a chuckle at the sight of Shawn whooping Hunter like he was a little boy. She straightened her UPS cap, her back facing Hunter while he got fully dressed.

"Okay Lita he's decent," Shawn said and Hunter pouted.

"Oh sure wait 'til I'm all covered up then tell her I'm decent, what happened to you Shawn? I used to be able to rely on you for shit like this! Ow!" Hunter yelled as Shawn whooped him hard with his Levi's, "Those buttons hurt! Okay quit it!"

After the beating subsided Lita walked over to both of them and took their hands in her own.

"Okay guys listen to me, there's a demonic force in this building and I'm gonna find it but I have to cover you guys before we go in to make sure what happened to you in Connecticut doesn't happen to you here in Dallas Love," Hunter and Shawn looked at each other sheepishly.

"You're gonna put that cloth around us?" Hunter asked and Lita's eyes lit up.

"You remember!" she gasped.

"Not everything but I remember waking up underneath it and asking Stephanie what it was and she said it was a prayer cloth and told me not to blow my nose on it," he answered and Shawn shook his head in disbelief.

"That's right it's called a Tallit but I won't use it now because this demon is randomly assigned, not like the one that possessed you guys knowing who you were, this demon doesn't care who you are, all I have to do is find it and vanquish it," Lita answered.

"So what are you gonna cover us with?" Hunter asked confused.

"The Blood of Jesus Christ," Lita answered and Hunter cocked an eyebrow suspiciously.

"You sure He doesn't mind?" he asked looking up to the sky and Lita smiled.

"He insists," she answered, "Bow your heads and close your eyes guys," she said and they obeyed, "Heavenly Father, this is Your servant Amy the Anointed reporting for work. This morning I will vanquish the demon that has been cursing Your children and I pray that You will cover Shawn and Hunter with the Blood of Jesus Christ and protect them from the powers of darkness as they assist me today. I pray this in the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen,"

"Amen," Hunter and Shawn said.

"Okay let's get going," Lita said and frowned at Hunter who was running his hands over his head and checking his fingers. Shawn rolled his eyes.

"It's not the actual blood of Jesus Christ!" he said exasperated with his buddy's lack of understanding.

"Well with her you never know!" Hunter said back defensively.

"Look you're covered, let's go," Shawn said and the three wrestlers re-entered the building incognito.

"Yeah but with what?" Hunter asked still confused about the prayer.

"Hunter you can't see it but what I've prayed for God to cover you with is the most powerful thing on Earth," Lita explained as they walked into the building.

"Really? Can it power a generator?" he asked curiously.

"It's more powerful than ten generators," Lita answered.

"Wow!" Hunter gasped and Shawn shook his head embarrassed by Hunter once again.

"Look we can't all be in the top tenth percentile of Bible study class okay?" Hunter said noticing Shawn's incessant eye-rolling.

Well if you read those Scriptures I gave you maybe you'd be on the same page as Cameron by now!" Shawn said back and Hunter gushed in shock.

"You trying to tell me that Cameron understands that whole thing about the Blood of Jesus Christ not being real blood?" Hunter asked unconvinced.

"Who said it's not real blood?" Shawn asked furrowing his brow.

"Well if it's real how come my hair's not all red?" Hunter retaliated.

"Because she didn't pray that God would put His son's blood all over your head, she prayed that God would protect you with His Son's Blood, get it?" Shawn said.

"No Shawn I don't, explain it to me," Hunter said.

"Look, Jesus died right?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah?" Hunter said.

"And 3 days later he rose from the dead, right?" Shawn asked.

"Right?" Hunter replied checking his Sunday school teachings.

"So what does that mean?" Shawn asked and Hunter thought about it.

"That he's a zombie?" he answered and Shawn smacked his head with his hand.

"It means that He's alive!" Shawn cried, "Jesus is alive and His Blood is as powerful now as it was then, get it? Lita just prayed that God would cover you with the Blood of a man who been alive for over 2000 years, don't you think that's some powerful Blood?"

Hunter was silent and continued to walk that way until they reached the assembly line. Lita looked over at Hunter who was still trying to fathom the lesson Shawn had given him.

"You take your time Hunter it will come, why don't you check out these boxes? See if you find any weird writing on any of them," she said and Hunter nodded leaving Lita to have a word with Shawn.

"Take it easy on him Shawnie, not everybody understands the Blood of Jesus Christ and why it's so important," she said.

"But he should after everything God's done for him in his life," Shawn answered folding his arms in discontent.

"Yeah like give him a friend who cares about his eternal soul enough to embarrass him in a building full of people who themselves may not understand the significance of the Blood and the power it can have in our lives," Lita said.

"Sorry Lita but it feels like I am in the top tenth percentile of Bible Study class sometimes, and everybody else is happy with just barely getting through," Shawn said disgruntled.

"Well you're not some New Testament nerd Shawn, when it comes to God we could all learn a little more, like how to be a servant to each other and not to judge each other, you could definitely stand to learn more of that," Lita answered thinking back on her trip to the Rivercenter Mall and Shawn nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'll go easy on him,"

"Yeah you be nice to the horny beast," Lita said and Shawn laughed as Hunter ran back to them.

"Hey Hunter sorry I was being so self-righteous with you, I just care about what happens to you after you die that's all, I'd kinda like to continue DX in heaven," Shawn said and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"No offence Shawn but I don't wanna hang around with you in Heaven," Hunter said and Shawn gasped.

"Why not?" he asked hurt.

"Nevermind that now , Lita all these boxes got weird writing on them," Hunter said pointing to the thousands of boxes going down the assembly point from the back of the building.

"That's a lot of curses," Lita said and she looked over to the back of the building and saw a man sitting there putting his hands on the boxes one by one. Her eyes widened and she ran over to him and noticed his eyes were rolled back into his head and he was invoking some kind of curse with his mouth that was showing up on each package he touched. Lita frowned not understanding how she was seeing this writing but the other men on the assembly line didn't notice it. She tapped one of the assembly guys on the shoulder and he turned to face her.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Don't you see this writing here?" Lita asked and the man looked at the box and frowned at her.

"What the postal address?" he asked confused.

"No beneath it," Lita said and the man just looked at her like she was crazy.

"What are you talking about lady?" he asked curtly.

"Only I can see it," she said to herself and she ran back to Shawn and Hunter leaving the assembly line guy scratching his head.

"Lita what is that writing?" Hunter asked, "Not now Shawn!" Hunter snapped pulling his arm away from HBK who was pulling on his sleeve trying to get his attention.

"It's a curse," Lita replied looking at the thousands of boxes going down the conveyer belt, "see that man up there? He's putting a curse on all these boxes,"

Shawn and Hunter looked up at the man, "It doesn't look like he's doing anything," Hunter said.

"Yeah he blends right in," Shawn said looking around at the tired men hardly checking the boxes as they went by.

"How come nobody noticed the writing?" Hunter asked.

"Do you have to ask? Look around Hunter, nobody's noticing anything," Shawn said.

"They can't see it," she answered.

"Well how come we can see it?" Hunter asked.

"Because I prayed for you," Lita replied and Hunter drew a deep breath.

"You mean because of the Blood of Jesus Christ?" he asked and Lita nodded, "Man that is some powerful Blood!" he cried impressed.

"See, see I told you!" Shawn piped up wagging his finger in Hunter's face and Lita shook her head admonishing Shawn for his boastful behavior.

"And you wonder why I don't wanna hang with you in Heaven," Hunter said and Shawn pouted, "So what we gonna do about all these packages Lita?" Hunter asked turning to the red-head.

"You guys are gonna cause a distraction and I'm gonna destroy them," Lita answered.

"What should we do set off the fire alarm?" Shawn asked.

"No then we would all have to evacuate, you guys need to pull off a DX prank," Lita said and Hunter and Shawn's eyes lit up.

"We're on it," Hunter said and he and Shawn ran off out of the building. A few minutes later there was a huge bang and all the assembly line workers ran out of the building.

"ARE YOU READY?" roared Hunter's voice from outside and the sound of voices cheering rang loud outside the building. When Lita was certain mostly everyone was outside she walked over to the demon-possessed man and put her hands on his shoulders. At her touch he flinched and threw her off into some boxes stacked up behind her. Suddenly the man was struggling to breathe and Lita panicked.

"No God please don't kill him! He's being attacked by a random demon he's not acting out of spite or malice, please Father spare his life and I will bring him to his knees at Your feet. Please Father!" she pleaded and the man slowly began to breathe easy again.

"Thank You Father!" she said and jumped on the man's back grabbing his head and squeezing it tight.

"I renounce you in the Name of Jesus Christ!" she cried and gripped the man's shoulders firmly as he shook violently making sure not to let go of him. Suddenly he gave a huge shriek and the building shook. Lita looked up certain that the roof was going to collapse and it did destroying everything around them in the process and damaging the packages beyond repair.

"Nice," Lita said through the chaos and checked the man to make sure he was alive.

"What happened?" he said to Lita and she patted him on the back.

"That's what we're going to find out," she said as the assembly workers rallied around the rubble and dust, then as the smoke cleared there appeared a red-head and a disorientated factory worker standing in the middle of it all completely untouched. Shawn and Hunter gasped as the men went over to make sure the mysterious woman and assembly line guy were okay.

"The power of the Blood," Hunter said to himself amazed and Shawn patted him on the shoulder proudly thanking Lita for giving him a demonstration of what he'd been trying to explain to Hunter for a long, long time.