Chapter 270

Surprise

Everything was quiet and calm at the location where Cameron left in the energy bubble just seconds ago.

The arcing and flashing started.

The time bubble quickly appeared with Cameron in it.

The arcing and flashing ended.

Cameron was back.

She stood there naked and looked around. Everything was quiet and calm. She'd returned back to the location and point in time moments after she'd just left. She went to the nearby rocks where she'd left her clothes. There was an insect there that she saw nearby. It was only about two inches two away from where it was when she'd left. She moved a few rocks, picked her clothes up and put them back on. She did not disturb the insect.

This trip hadn't been what Cameron expected or wanted. The fact she'd been able to save the Duplicate girls made it worth it. John's baby was alive in Allison. John would have a decedent, in a few hundred years.

She'd hoped that River would have accepted her as her mate. She really thought it would happen. It wasn't to be, at least not with her. She'd feared rejection is what would happen. It did. She still wanted that future. Maybe Duplicate Cameron could take her place in 1999 and she could live a lifetime with River herself. No, her fate was to live with John. Now, she felt very let down. At least she'd tried it. If she hadn't, this would have been another thing to forever haunt her and torment her by not knowing. River loved Duplicate Cameron, end of story or was it? River was the prize Cameron still wanted.

Cameron thought it was ironic. It seemed everyone wanted her, except the person she wanted. That is how life seemed to work. Nobody is on the same page at the same time as life passed them by. At some point when it's too late, they wonder what happened and why.

She searched for some way to salvage this or fix it somehow. There didn't seem to be a way. She felt trapped. She was trapped in her own life with no escape. She wasn't shackled or in a cage but she was trapped just the same.

Cameron thought maybe she shouldn't have told River how to help her rescue the Duplicates. No, River would have known, she would not have been able to hide it from her. She didn't want to start out lying to River. The plan might not have worked. She decided John's baby being saved and alive inside Allison was worth her sacrifice of not being able to stay with River. She knew she did the right thing. Then again that is only because River 'encouraged' her to do so. Would she have done it on her own? She really didn't know. It seemed doubtful. People just didn't understand how thing needed to be done.

There were a million thoughts shooting around in her mind. There was no direction she could go other than to go back to what she'd 'left'. How could she face everyone again with the knowledge that she'd turned her back on all of them? They all knew she was leaving. That was everyone except Savannah. Savannah told her she would be back and she would see her soon. Savannah NEVER gave up on her. Maybe that is why she was back. Maybe her future 'a future' was always in front of her and she didn't see it. The 'Chosen One' BELIEVED in her. That must mean something. It did mean something.

Cameron checked the surveillance equipment there and everything was still looped. It would all revert back to standard operation in a few minutes. It was time to go.

She'd sent Steve and Ed to investigate an unknown vehicle. That was the car she'd arrived in. Now she would need to walk to the small town she'd stolen in from and retrieve the car she'd drove from the base in. It was only about ten miles away.

Cameron would have some time to think at this point. Several ideas popped up in her head. She didn't want to go there yet. Instead she looked around at the countryside as she walked. She wondered why she was walking. That would just delay her arrival back at the base. She picked up the pace.

She tried to think of her girls, Savannah and Young Allison. They were the future. They were her future. Were they though? Maybe as a goal that would help motivate and guide her. Maybe it would make her see she was redundant and unnecessary. She picked up the pace again into a fast run. Who was she fooling?

Cameron reached the small town and retrieved her other vehicle. She drove back to the base. She really didn't want to return. There was no other alternative. She thought of another plan but was unsure if she wanted to enact it. It was the mission to 'nowhere'. Maybe that was the way. It was the one sure way to get away from it all.

Now it really started to 'eat' at her. River rejected HER. It really was what she'd feared. She loved River. NO. She needed to tell herself that it was Duplicate Cameron that did, not her. She was lost somewhere in time when all that happened. It was all very confusing.

Cameron tried to firewall her feelings for River, it was very difficult. No. She decided the love for River was worth the pain of rejection. That was the same choice she'd made for John - BOTH of them.

Great, now she thought about John. Both of them caused her a lot of pain and grief. They'd both rejected her too. Why did the people she loved do that to her? She knew that Savannah would never reject her.

Now it was back to the base. John would probably mock her for her failure. Maybe he would rub Future Riley in her face again as he took a victory lap. He didn't win. It was she who 'lost'. There was a difference there.

What was she to do next? She returned back to the base and hoped that no one missed her. Maybe she would pretend like she was never gone.

Cameron stripped her clothes off and returned back to John's bed, waking him. Maybe she would do the only thing John cared about her for.

"I'm surprised to see you're still here." John said.

That comment irritated Cameron a lot after all that just happened to her. What was that statement supposed to mean?

"Why?" Cameron asked.

John was used to the way Cameron did things.

"I thought you would try to slip out early and not say bye to everyone." John said. "That is sort of how you roll…."

Cameron felt that John always found a way to insult her. It didn't matter if his statement was true or not.

"What a vote of confidence." Cameron said. "What's the point of making everyone sad or cry for what's inevitable? Do you think it's easy on me? I have feelings too you know."

John didn't think it was a problem for Cameron. She was a machine after all.

"Not everyone can turn their emotions or feelings off." John said.

Cameron did not bother to tell him she couldn't turn her feelings or emotions off. She'd tried. It didn't work. She felt pain too. None of them could understand the pain she felt and how intense she felt it, endlessly. Now she was going to have even more pain. The torment she faced would be even worse now.

"I don't think you are coming back this time." John said and paused for a few seconds. "Cameron, I am going to ask Allison to marry me."

Cameron froze. John was unaware she'd already completed her mission and saved the Duplicate girls and 'herself'. This is what she wanted for John. She wanted him to be with a real woman. She wanted it to be Allison. She didn't think she'd be here when that happened.

She was crushed. She'd already decided to stay with John and Duplicate Cameron would stay in River's future. Now John was ready to do what she'd wanted since she'd been pushing Allison on John. Did this really have to happen now?

"Cameron? Cameron…?" John asked.

John snapped his fingers several times in front of Cameron's face.

Cameron seemed unable to speak at first. She found what John did to be very irritating. She needed to collect herself some.

"That's wonderful news…." Cameron said. "Congratulations…."

John smiled. He was worried Cameron would flip out or go berserk. He felt she should know what his plans would be after she left. It seemed fair to him to be honest and open. He should be able to be happy and have comfort too. He didn't plan to go on again for years without a clue as to what would happen or if she would return. He'd done that enough. He wanted her to understand.

"I haven't asked Allison yet. I wanted to wait until I knew you weren't coming back first." John said. "I can't wait for months or years again, Cameron, especially not knowing and even thinking you were 'dead'. I can't do that anymore."

All that statement did was make Cameron feel worse. How could she argue the point? It was all true.

John wondered if Cameron even heard him. He really wanted her to know and understand his position. He continued.

"I don't think you understand how much you've hurt me with the waiting and not knowing or grieving for you." John said. "I can't keep being treated like that. I know I hurt you when I chose Riley over you, please stop punishing me for that. I'm sorry. I really am."

Cameron was a little miffed. John made it sound like she'd done all those things on purpose just to hurt him. She needed to get him straightened out a little.

"I never meant to punish you." Cameron said. "Things did not go quite as planned on those occasions. I should have been able to complete my time missions and been back the moment after I left. Things did not work out that way. I still don't know why."

John knew that may be true some of the time but it was not true all of the time. Maybe it was time to call her out. Some of those events were intentional even if they weren't done as punishment to him.

"What about exploding a nuclear bomb?" John asked. "That was done with no way to get out. That was a one way ticket."

That seemed pretty final to John. If there hadn't been the TDE Incident that would have been it for Cameron. It seemed like the end of her for fifteen long months. He thought she was dead. There was only one person who refused to believe and accept that 'truth' and reality, it was Savannah. Savannah was what kept him going at that time. Every time he was ready to give up Savannah would come to him and give him hope. He was also sure that she wanted him to know she was 'available'. He knew what Cameron made her promise to do, everyone did. Who does that to a girl and then as a young lady? No, really. Who would do that?

Cameron realized that John still didn't understand her and her mission. The very mission he sent her on. The mission he ruined her life twice to carry out.

"I did what was necessary to protect you and defeat Skynet." Cameron said. "My sacrifice was to help you and protect you. I was successful. I know it was Duplicate Cameron that did that but I would have done it as well. We are identical. We are the same 'Cameron'. We are the same program."

Cameron was aware that John left his seed in Duplicate Cameron hundreds of times. It didn't bother her. She now possessed all those files as her own. There was no difference in her system that it wasn't actually her. It was a seamless addition.

John almost wanted to laugh. It was clear Cameron didn't listen to a word he'd said. She was still stuck in her own world. It was not the real world. He didn't care what Future John did. That wasn't him.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." John said.

Cameron felt she'd put up with enough of this. She'd just suffered two major blows in the last few hours. Now John was grinding her face in the past. What was he going to do in the present when he found out she failed again? There was only one way to escape.

"Apparently." Cameron said. "I've sacrificed plenty too."

Now to have John reach out to Allison would mean she would have to sacrifice again. Now she wouldn't have John or River. What was she going to do? She was out of cards to play. She tried to put the best face on it for John. It was time to give him what he really wanted. Sacrifice was the true test of love.

"Do you wish for me to explain it to Allison or inform her of your decision?" Cameron asked. "I will help you with the transition and upgrade to your life."

John didn't want her 'help'. She'd 'helped' him with enough things so far. His life was in a big enough mess already.

"No. If Allison is to be in my future, I don't need your involvement." John said. "I'm going to ask her myself."

Cameron already made up her mind. She was done. Now it was time to give John what he really wanted.

"I will accompany you and let her know I will not return…." Cameron managed to say. "If you desire Metal, any of the females will accommodate you. Any of the males will also if your secret desire ever emerges. I will arrange it. Ally can pose as me if you seek that as well. The physical experience will be identical to being with me. Allison understands my desire and need for River, all the females do."

John couldn't help but feel a small sense of victory. He'd finally beaten Cameron and let her know her place. He was the one in charge and she was nothing.

"I'm sure she does…." John said. "I need to take care of a few things with John Henry first and we can go see Allison on the way to the rendezvous."

John left the room.

Cameron rushed to the door and locked it as the tears exploded from her eyes. She cried like she'd never done before. Just when she thought she could still have a future with John, it was gone again….

'The Sound Of Silence', the original released version by 'Simon and Garfunkel', echoed in the silence of Cameron's mind as the tears flowed…

Surprise

As we face new events
That can suddenly arise
To make things work
We must often compromise

If our own decisions
Cause some to criticize
We may feel the need
To back peddle and apologize

If we don't always listen
It may cause some to agonize
It may lead them soon to realize
We're who they hate and despise

If all we hear are lies
Part of us inside dies
If no one hears our cries
It may lead to our demise

As we gaze into their eyes
We can always fantasize
When they figure it out and get wise
Will it really be that big of a surprise

Nobody