The Light of His Life
Disclaimer: Don't own POTO… but I do own Charles, Steph and Piers.
A/N: Thank you, dear reviewers…you are all so brilliant. I know I haven't updated this one in a while and I've been meaning to get back to it – I just had a bad experience with my laptop where it ate six thousand words of my next update and left no trace – the technician could not even retrieve it. Do bear in mind, though, that this story is a sort of fluffy, strange pet project of mine and it was never meant to be as serious as the TAL, for instance. I'm happy to write a little (well, actually it'll be quite long) semi far-fetched story that it is just a bit of fun – at least, for me anyway. Alright, enough ranting – I am impatient to update.
Thanks to Ripper – God, you're great and you'd better be happy that I've updated. Come on, show me a smile. Thanks to erik'sangel527 – you wonderful thing, you. And thanks to everyone, I don't know where to start…
Please read and review…
Chapter 6: Much Too Much it Hurts…
"I don't believe it," Erik sighed, his arm draped casually around Christine's shoulders as they looked at the picture on the videophone. "What is she doing here?"
"What do you want?" Christine said into the speaker, very aware of Erik's agitated form next to her, who, she knew, very much wanted to pace.
"To speak to you…"
"About what?"
"Please, Christine, if you'll just let me in, I'll say my piece and leave…"
"What do you think, Angel?" Christine asked, unsure of what to do. This was becoming laughable…
"I cannot say… I find myself curious as to what she thinks she can do and yet, at the same time, I don't want her anywhere near you…"
"She's not going to do anything as long as you're here, is she?"
"I doubt it, beloved. Besides, I would protect my darling against anything… no harm of any sort can come to you – I won't let it."
Christine leaned forward and entered the code for the gate, out of Erik's view, the heavy wrought iron swinging open again and closing when she re-entered the code.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Erik spat out when she got to the door. "You know, this is bordering on stalking, Stephanie… how did you even know about this place?"
"Courteous as ever, Erik, but I didn't come here to talk to you," she said dryly, stepping passed him into the entrance hall. "I've come here to talk to Christine… alone."
"Look, Miss–"
"Steph…"
"Look, Steph," Christine started again. "I don't know why you're so adamant to talk to me but I really have no idea who you are or what, if anything, you ever meant to me…"
"You'll remember," she said firmly, "if you give me a chance… You'll remember all the things we used to do together – how well I took care of you…"
Erik cleared his throat loudly and drew Christine back against him in anger. "You didn't take care of her – you didn't have any hand in raising her – I raised her."
"See, this is the reason I wanted to speak to you on your own…"
"Absolutely not!" Erik protested, ready to turf the woman out of Christine's house.
Christine sighed, exasperated, and pulled her Angel by the hand into the sitting room again. "We can all sit down together and talk," she called back to Stephanie. "Or you can leave but I'm not talking to you without Erik there."
"Fine, so long as he doesn't interrupt like he always does…"
Erik was about to make a snide remark when Christine stood lightly on his foot and pushed him down onto the sofa before sitting next to him and leaving Stephanie with no other option than to sit across from them. Blessed are the peacemakers…
"If you behave," Christine whispered in Erik's ear, "I will go easier on you when we get back home… so, don't say a word, don't glare at her and don't even acknowledge her if you can manage it."
He made a show of placing his arm around her to make sure that Stephanie got the idea that they were very close and could not be separated.
"I'm not a threat," the woman said indignantly. "I'm not going to attack her, you know. Well, of course you know… you've left me alone with her a thousand times in the past."
"A mistake I–" he was cut off by a swift elbow in the ribs from Christine and spent the next few minutes in silence nursing his wounded pride more than his wounded ribcage.
"What do you have to say?" Christine asked, trying to expedite the time this woman spent in her house. Actually, she supposed, it was more her parents' house than her own – she had always felt at home with Erik in their house and it made her forgive him just that little bit more in her mind for no other reason than she liked living with him. Really, though, that was a bloody good reason, she thought. That was not to say, of course, that he wouldn't get it in the neck when they got home.
"I suppose he's told you about earlier… about what I said."
Christine turned to look back at Erik, who was stuck against her side. "He hasn't told me anything."
"Lo, and behold…" she said dryly, glaring at Erik. "Well, I might as well tell you now so that we can get it over with…"
"She's barren," Erik said spitefully before she could say anything more.
He earned another sharp elbow in the ribs and Christine pulled his face round to look at her. "That's an awful thing to say, Erik!" He just looked at her indifferently until she placed both of her hands on his shoulders to ground him. "Erik, tell me you're not this cruel… tell me you don't really mean that. What if I was unable to have children, Erik? What if I am unable to have children? I won't know yet… will you say such things to me if I discover that I can't?"
"No, no, of course not… I'd never… I'm sorry."
"Sometimes I wonder about you, Erik – if you'll always need me to be your conscience… if you'll always have to apply a situation to me to see if it's right or wrong… if you'll always have to imagine yourself saying something to me to understand whether or not it's hurtful to someone else…"
He looked sadly at her and took one of her hands in his, kissing the fingertips lightly. "My utmost and sincerest apologies, Stephanie," he said without looking away from Christine as he replaced his conscience's hand back upon his shoulder. He was really apologising to her. "I was unspeakably cruel and I should not have said such a thing."
Stephanie looked at him in awe, amazed at what he had said to her. Christine just rested her head against his upper chest, pleased that her gentle Angel was back.
"You were saying?" she murmured.
"Well," Stephanie started. "You obviously don't remember me but I was your childminder… now, though, I'm a social worker and I got a call not long ago from someone concerned that a minor was being abused…"
"What's that got to do with us?" Christine asked.
"You were named as the minor involved…"
"I don't understand," she mumbled in shock.
"A member of the community was concerned that your foster-father was hurting you. Apparently, this individual believes that he tied you up last night… is that true?"
"No," Christine said defensively. She may be angry at him, but she would protect her Angel and their life together against anyone.
Erik, who had remained silent throughout, though, bowed his head in shame. He was about to confess, but Christine could see it in his demeanour and stopped him by changing their positions slightly and sitting between his legs, resting her back against his chest like she used to do as a child. It reminded him of what he would be losing if he uttered the truth to this woman across from them, and he would not risk that – not ever. He merely wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her in place.
"We can talk alone, Christine, if you'd prefer… you don't have to continue to live like this," Stephanie said gently, reaching her hand out to place on Christine's knee.
"Live like what, exactly?" she asked angrily, moving her knee out of the way. "He dotes upon me. I'm the happiest person in the world, I can assure you. And, I don't know who told you that he hurts me, for Christ's sake, but it's all rubbish." Oh, she was so going to kill Meg for this…
"I know you must feel uncomfortable talking about this in front of him–"
"Erik isn't the one making me feel uncomfortable… it's you and all this talk of abuse. It isn't true and that's the end of it. And, you know damned well that you can't do anything so long as I am against what you are saying."
Stephanie sighed loudly and took a deep, calming breath before looking back up at Christine. "I was hoping that it wouldn't have to come to this… if you won't talk to me on your own then I'll be forced to relay my concerns to my superiors."
"What are you saying? That, if I don't speak to you, you'll lie about what I've said?" Christine asked, staring at her in disbelief. "You know it won't work, though, don't you – they will have to talk to me eventually and I'll tell them what really went on."
"But that'll take weeks of red tape and in that time he won't be allowed near you. I'm going to be leaving the social services anyway… All I'm asking for is a few minutes…"
"What for?"
"Hear me out…"
"Angel," Christine said after a slight pause. He was just glaring at Stephanie and Christine knew he'd be kicking himself for ever having let her into their life together. "Angel, why don't you go upstairs and change into some day clothes? There should be some of your clothes still in the spare room…"
Erik was quite reluctant to speak lest he earn another elbow to the ribs but he was also very reluctant to leave Christine alone with this woman. She was clearly demented.
"Go on, Angel…"
Again reluctantly, he repositioned Christine into the seat next to him and got up, making his way slowly towards the staircase in the entrance hall. Christine just watched him go sadly.
When they were alone, Stephanie brought Christine's attention back to her by clearing her throat as she started to talk. "You have no idea what it's like not to be able to have a child…"
"Why don't you adopt, then?"
"It isn't the same – it's not like having your own child."
"So, what are you doing here?" Christine asked again, confused beyond words. "It's not as though I'm even related to you and, if you hadn't noticed, I'm not a child anymore."
"I was more of a mother to you than anyone else ever was…"
"I can't believe you just said that… Do you have any idea how offensive that is? You weren't my mother – I don't even remember you. My mother was a wonderful, beautiful woman who would never have threatened to hurt my Angel because I wouldn't listen to her."
"Perhaps, one day, when you've had a child of your own, you'll understand why I'm doing this – you'll understand what it's like for others who are not so lucky and then you'll realise why you mean so much to me. Perhaps, if I had been able to have my own child then I wouldn't have to be here now."
"You're that desperate for company that I have to spend time with you so that you won't do anything to hurt Erik?" Christine asked coldly.
Stephanie shook her head slowly and smiled unnervingly at Christine. "No, no, no, you don't understand… you have it all wrong. I don't expect you to spend time with me – but you are the closest female relative that I have and I thought you could do something for me."
"We are not related and I still don't understand what you're doing here…"
"Actually, we are sort of related… My full name is Stephanie Atkinson – Charles Atkinson, your mother's uncle, you remember, is my father… When he was refused custody of you and since I was already a childminder, he asked me to watch out for you and try to get the position Erik was offering."
Christine was reeling from the shock of her unexpected words and was terribly unprepared for what she was about to say.
"So we are related – more so than you and Erik will ever be anyway. And you are the only young, female relative that I have… I hoped you might one day soon come around to the idea of donating an egg so that I can have a baby. I realise it is a lot to ask – but it is not as though you will be having children for a good few years yet; they will only be wasted. You will, no doubt, go on to have many more children one day."
For several moments, Christine just stared at her, incredulous. She could have sworn her jaw had dropped open. "Erik! Erik! Erik!"
"What do you mean 'he tied her up'?" Ada Giry asked her daughter.
"She told me; he went completely berserk – I even saw him while he was livid – he was about ready to throttle her and then he took her upstairs and tied her up in her room."
"Erik? Tied Christine up…? You're sure?" Ada asked, incredulous at the idea that Erik would ever do something like that to Christine. She knew that he had a temper shorter than most but she had never seen him lose it with his Christine before. Something must have happened…
"Yes, Mum, she told me – I was going to call you last night and tell you that I thought something was going on but Christine convinced me that he was all front. I knew I should have called you…"
"It's alright, Meghan, you weren't to know. Look, I'll handle this now, you don't have to worry about it. Where is she now?"
"She's at her parents' house – she left him this morning because of what he'd done but, when I left, he had just gotten there and she let him in. I'm worried, Mum…"
"It's alright, Meg – he won't hurt her," she assured.
"But–"
"He won't hurt her."
Meg had no choice but to believe her, though she conveniently left out the part where she had called social services on the way home and had told them everything…
"You are the most arrogant man I have ever met," Ada commented as she watched Erik come to a stop in front of her. They were standing just outside of the courtroom, Erik fresh from having heard of his victory, a triumphant glare upon his face, the darling seven-year-old Christine standing at his side, his large hand comfortably engulfing hers.
"I have every right show pride in winning – no, keeping – the right to have this little seraph living with me for, at least, the next eleven years. Or do you think I should be somehow disappointed that I won our two-year custody battle?" he asked, his happiness positively dripping off of him. He turned to look at the man at Ada's side and allowed the corners of his mouth to slip up into a conceited smile. "Charles," he greeted falsely. "Pity."
Charles Atkinson was never one to get violent, but, looking at the vile pride of the masked man before him, he found himself approaching him rapidly, at the very least, ready to share a few choice words with him. "Why you inconsiderate bast–"
"Ah, ah, ah," Erik mocked, stopping the man coming towards him by placing a firm hand on his shoulder. "No vulgar language in front of my Christine. I will not allow it. And you would do well not to show any violent behaviour in front of her either. I won't have her seeing that."
Charles growled something low in his throat and shook his head, sparing one last despairing look at the girl clutching Erik's hand, watching with something akin to amusement at her Angel's good humour. "I'll always be here for you… for anything."
Erik watched him leave and then turned to the angel at his side, lifting her into his arms and smiling as she began to giggle. "You are happy, aren't you? Staying with me…? You know that I would change anything to make you happier, don't you?"
"I am happy, Angel. Although…"
"Yes?" he asked tentatively, worried that something – some small, almost insignificant thing – was bothering her enough to make her unhappy.
"I would be happier if you took me home."
"Of course, child. We are leaving right now. Together!" he vowed, unable to keep his happiness to himself. Leaving the building and heading out to the car park, he gave in to one last urge, turning to look back at Ada. "Tell me, madam, are you terribly disappointed that you did not win the honour of having custody of my Christine?"
"No."
He was so surprised by her answer that he stopped, bringing Christine more tightly towards his chest. Erik believed quite fully that everyone in the world should be miserable that they did not live with Christine and so, he had not been prepared for her answer. "What? You don't have to sound so pleased that you were not allowed to take her… Why did you waste two years of your life fighting a battle you were not prepared to win? Why did you put my angel through that?"
"It was not that, Erik," she said, shaking her head. "Unfortunately, I have only just realised… you are perfect for her. She'll never be happier than when she's with you."
And even now, ten years on, she still believed that. He just needed to be reminded of what he would be losing if he did not make it up to her.
Christine leapt off of the sofa and backed out of the room, right into her Angel's arms, who had been rushing down the stairs to get to her.
"She's demented!" she cried, falling all over herself to get behind Erik, where she kept a death grip on the back of his suit.
"What did she do?"
"She's absolutely bloody barking!"
"Christine, what did she do?" he asked frantically even though he doubted he would get much sense out of her. "What did you do to her?" he then hissed, turning to face Stephanie as she came out of the living room towards them.
"I didn't do anything to her," she said almost indifferently.
Christine shrunk back behind him and rested her cheek against his back as she clung to him more tightly. "She's dangerous!"
Stephanie shook her head slowly. "I'm committed."
"You flipping well should be!"
"What did she do?" he asked again.
"I asked her to donate an egg," Stephanie supplied, folding her arms across her chest as she struggled to work out what was causing such chaos.
"You aren't going to, are you?" he asked, suddenly worried as he turned back to look at his little seraph. It may have sounded stupid but he did not want anyone having Christine's baby, but Christine. And he did not want anybody fathering Christine's child, disregarding even for the moment who brought it up, except himself. In fact, exactly what he wanted was for him to father Christine's baby and then for Christine to carry it to term, giving birth painlessly after sharing nine months of expectation together. And then he wanted them both to bring the child up, spending the rest of their lives bonded together because of it. He was very much the idealist.
Christine looked at Erik oddly. Her Angel could be so obtuse at times, when he had the inclination. "Do you think I would be clinging quite so tightly to your back if I were?"
"No, I suppose not."
"You suppose not? Erik, do something," she whined.
"Alright."
"Oh, are you alright?" Meg asked frantically, rushing to the visibly shaken Christine as she answered the door to her parents' old house, letting Meg and her mother inside. "What did he do to you?"
"I did not do anything to her, Miss Giry," Erik commented from his place sitting dejectedly on the stairs, his head resting in one hand. He had resigned himself to the fact that today was never going to be a normal day. He had phoned Stephanie's father when Christine had informed him of his identity and the hassled man had come to get her, referring only briefly to a few psychological problems she'd had as a result of her inability to conceive, before apologising profusely to his little neice, though not to Erik. "Not today anyway…"
"I don't understand…"
"Oh, Meg, I don't even know where to start," Christine sighed, enveloping her friend in a hug.
Pulling back to look at her, Meg decided it was a story best left till later. "I know this might not seem like the right time to announce it, but Mum and I have had an idea…" she declared after a moment, brighter than before. "We want you to come on holiday with us."
"What?"
Erik sucked in a breath as he processed what his beloved's friend had said. Go on holiday with them? He'd never allow it – she was far too precious, far too dear to be allowed to travel unprotected.
Christine looked over at her Angel… the way he was pouting, his bottom lip curling downwards as he regarded her and the new information he had received. It was safe to say that he was not a happy bunny, though she thought it was absolutely adorable. But she decided that it would be good practice for him to learn to live without her constant companionship again as he had not had to do for the last thirteen years.
"It'll do you good…" Meg continued, "to get away from everything for a while." To get away from him for a while, more like, she thought but did not say.
"Go on holiday with you? You're sure?" Christine asked, suddenly reasonably excited about the idea. Of course, she'd been on holiday a lot in the past – Erik had taken her all over the world – but that had always been just the two of them and was really like their home life moved to a different climate. It had been wonderful, yes, and she would never enjoy going with anyone more – but it was time she had a change and she believed it might just do them both some good to have a break from each other.
"Of course, Christine," Ada added. "It's about time you came away with us for a while… you need to spend more time with other women."
"And what if I do not agree?" Erik asked, recovering enough to speak for the first time that conversation. "I am her guardian, in case you'd forgotten. She needs my permission."
"Meg, Mrs. Giry, excuse us for a moment," Christine said, not taking her eyes off of Erik before leading him up the stairs by the hand and taking him into one of the unused rooms.
"Stop being such a baby and admit it to yourself that you cannot stop me," she scolded, pushing him to sit on the bed, just as soon as the door had closed.
"Cannot stop you? My dear," he laughed coldly. "I believe we are both aware that I can. And if I tell you that you can't go then you bloody well can't go. Let that be the end of the conversation."
"That's it settled then."
"Yes," he said after a moment, looking at her suspiciously because of how quickly she had agreed with him.
She nodded, smiling as she thought about a break. "I'm going."
"You are not!"
"Stop whining, Angel. It'll do you good to have the house to yourself for a while… get some peace and quiet."
"I don't want peace and quiet."
"Don't be silly. I know that you do – you complain about it enough."
"No, you're wrong. I love it when you interrupt me, I love it when I'm startled from a catnap on the sofa because you have suddenly burst into an inspired rendition of The Toreador Song from Carmen, and I love it when you bring me things while I'm working, just because you think they'll make me more comfortable," he finished softly, his eyes gentle and dreamy as he stood and delicately caressed her cheek.
"You'll appreciate all of those things more when I get back. It won't be for long, Angel… I don't even know where we are going yet." She laughed, making him smile quite despite himself.
"But I appreciate them now," he almost whined. "I appreciate you – I am so lucky to have you and I know that. I love you!"
"I know you love me. And I love you just as much. But we do need a break from each other… it'll be worth it in the end, trust me."
"I don't want a break from you. I want to wake up every morning to breakfast together and a kiss on the cheek. I want to constantly find myself tripping over yet another pair of your shoes. I want to have to take my own shoes off indoors and pad around like a mental patient or risk being shouted at by you. I want to come out of the shower to find that you've written me a message in the condensation on the mirror. I want you. And I want everything that makes us, us."
"Can you hear what you are saying? You want a maid who does everything for you and coddles you – not a…" she trailed off, hesitating. "What the hell am I to you anyway?" she finished angrily, annoyed that she did not know that even after thirteen years.
"You're my…" What? Daughter – No, certainly not. Friend – No, she is so much more than that. Companion – Again, she is more. Partner – Partner in what, exactly? Co-inhabitant – That's just silly… like saying we're just flatmates. Spouse – God, I wish. Potential, yet unknowing, spouse – Close enough. The light of my life – Definitely!
"I thought not. Look, while I'm gone, why don't you go and stay with Piers? He'd keep you company just as much as I would."
"With respect, beloved, I have no intention of spending my evenings cuddled up to Piers on the sofa, watching films while he feeds me pieces of red papaya from his fruit salad. And somehow I doubt that he would fit as snugly under my chin and within my arms as you do. Not that I have any intention of ever finding out… Besides, he has a lady friend," he complained, frowning distastefully.
"Piers has a lady friend?" she asked shrilly, surprised beyond words. She laughed without meaning to and shooed the image away. It was not that there was anything wrong with Piers – he was devastatingly handsome with his tall, proud stature, his regal features and dark wavy hair – he truly was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. No, he would never be ignored because of his looks, but Christine just could not imagine him with a girlfriend. She didn't know why – it just did not seem very Piers to be attached.
Erik started laughing too. He had also found the idea positively silly. Piers simply did not do lady friends. He was far too sure of himself and stuck-up almost that they all thought he was conceited and he did not notice them for having his nose in the air. But he had somehow found himself a woman who allowed him to find it within himself to be a little less confident and a lot more attentive, and Erik was happy for him. Though the idea was still ridiculous…
When they'd both stopped laughing, Erik sighed regrettably and placed both of his hands comfortably on her shoulders. "I'll miss you," he conceded, bringing her forward so that her forehead rested against his lips. "When you go, you'll be tearing my heart in two. I'll miss you more than I'd miss my hearing. Much so much it already hurts…"
© Copyright of CrawfordsBiscuits, February 2006