Author's Note: Oh, yeah, you know I had to put the one and only Rich Dotcom in this fic somewhere. Just because he's way too much of a Jeller shipper to avoid meddling when Kurt and Jane are on the outs. :D

"Weller!" Patterson all but burst into his office, more animated than he'd seen her since Mayfair's disappearance.

Kurt half rose from his chair before he knew what he was doing. "You have something new on Jane?"

She shook her head, sinking his burgeoning hopes before he could fully process them. "Sorry, no. Not yet. But I have a new idea I wanted to run past you."

"I trust you, Patterson. As long as it's legal—"

"No, seriously. You're going to want to approve this one in advance." She sat down in the chair opposite his desk and gave him a little smile. "Or at least, I want you to approve it in advance so you can't blame me when whatever goes wrong inevitably goes wrong."

Kurt leaned back, recovering from the brief adrenaline hit of thinking she'd found Jane. It had been over a week since he'd found her notebook, and none of the text or pictures had revealed any new information since their initial strategising session. They needed leads. He needed hope.

"Remember Rich Dotcom?"

Kurt snorted. "How could I forget?"

"I think we should reach out to him for help."

Kurt studied her enthusiastic expression, wondering if he should attempt to get her to take some time off. "Gotta say, Patterson, this isn't the conversation I was expecting to have with you. Ever."

She actually grinned. "Just hear me out. I know it's not the most conventional search method, reaching out to a criminal who escaped our custody, but he has this weird, sexual obsession with you and Jane."

"I had noticed," he said, voice dry. The way Rich had tried to meddle in his relationships—and insert himself into them—hadn't been the most endearing thing about the dark web hacker.

"Exactly. He'd love the chance to stick his nose back into your business."

"I don't want his nose anywhere near my business, Patterson."

"Not even if he can help us find Jane?" She sighed. "I'll level with you. He's better than me at navigating the shady internet underworld—though if you ever tell him I said that, I'll deny all knowledge of this conversation. We're out of other options. I've been trying to think of a new path to go down with this Jane search for days, and this is the only thing I've come up with."

Weller had to admit she had a point. "Rich is in the wind. How would you get in touch with him? And how would you convince him to work on our behalf? I'm not gonna hire him."

"What, you don't want to offer your body as payment?" she teased.

Weller just glowered at her.

"I'm pretty sure he'd do it for free. Under all the murder and illegal item trading, he's kind of a romantic. He's invested in you and Jane, as invasive and embarrassing as that must be for both of you. But if he does ask for payment, I guess we can always knock some time off his prison sentence next time we catch him."

"If we catch him."

"There is that." Patterson shifted in her chair. "So? Do I have your permission to put some feelers out?"

Kurt closed his eyes for a moment, weighing up the pros and cons. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but fine. Get Rich on board. Don't agree to anything he asks for without my permission, and don't let him into your systems."

"I would never!" Patterson gave him a mock hurt look.

"Keep me posted."

Less than two hours later, when he dropped by Patterson's lab, Kurt found her typing into some kind of chat window. "Anything?"

"I'm just filling Rich in now."

Kurt leaned over her shoulder and read:

Is Agent Stubbles okay? Bet he's rampaging around like a bear with a thorn in its paw. I kinda wish I was there to see that. Frustrated macho displays are such a turn-on.

"God, I feel exhausted already." He shook his head. "Is there anything you need?"

"I'll get back to you if I think of anything." As Kurt turned to leave, she snickered. "Rich would like to know if you need anyone to warm your bed until Jane gets back."

"If I did, he would be at the literal end of the list."

"I'll just tell him 'no, thank you'."

Irritated, Kurt continued, "It's not like Jane was even in my bed to start with."

Patterson cast a sideways glance at him. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's not anything. It's just a fact."

Typing a quick 'brb', she turned to face him. "Weller, if you wanna talk—"

He shut her down hard. "There's nothing to say. We were both interested. We kissed a couple of times. Then she went off the playbook. Stopped confiding in us. Even if we find her, it's never gonna happen now. That's all there is to it."

It was late in the day and most of Patterson's underlings had already left. Keeping her voice down to avoid the attention of the rest, she stepped closer to him. "It was pretty obvious she really liked you, too. I don't think she ever meant for this to happen. Our Jane, I mean. Not the pre-ZIP Jane."

Kurt swallowed his bitter retort. Trying to figure out Jane's motivations had already driven him crazy on way too many occasions for him to dive back in there.

"You always see the best in people, Patterson." He gave her a quick, one-armed hug. "Get back to Rich. If you want gossip, he's your guy."