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Chapter 5:

I'm a lot calmer now. It's been a week. I've seen Chase around school, and he doesn't look good. It hurts to see him like that but until he helps himself, I can't help him. Dustin's not talking to me. Daniella is. She's very chatty, like Nicole. I found myself hanging with the cheerleaders and stuck up girls. Quinn too, she's not that bad. Once you get to know her, and ignore the constant male attention she basks in. Logan's great! He's so clumsy! It'salmostfunny.
"Um... Are you free tonight?" He asks after several moments of tripping over his tongue.Daniella's eyes dance.
"Yeah!" She says twirling a curl around her index finger and sucking her thumb.
"I was thinking maybe um... nevermind." He stutters trying for the millionth time to ask her out, once again he fails and abandons hope and Daniella's face falls.

"So thought anymore about it?" asks Nikki.
"Constant." I sigh. I'm not sure whether I'm keeping the baby. Although the argument sparked off such a row between me and Michael he yelled til he was blue in the face, my friends keep telling me to give it up. They can see I'm better than it. But at the end ofthe day I don't think I have the heart to do it. I couldn't kill a baby especially one that technically doesn't belong to me.
"And..."
"No decision yet." I say, rather monotonously.
"Well you'd better hurry up and decide." I glance at Chase two tables down. He's sat with Quinn who is not so subtly running her heel down the inside of his leg. He looks uninterested. He's so sad. I just want to go over and hug him, it's not fair. I need help right now and the one I need it from most is the one who caused me to be in this situation in the first place.
"Oh shush." I snap. "You think I don't know that?" I stand up and stalk off in a huff. I'm good at that, real world and crazy one.

"I'm worried about Chase." Logan says gently.
"Chase is a big boy..." I say icily.
"No Zo, I've never seen him this bad. This morning he didn't care that he wasCRYING... in public! It's creepy... I'm scared." He sounds so sincere, so naive.
"You want me to go check on him?" I ask with a growl.
"Please." I do as I'm told but he's not in his room. I guess I should've checked the bikesheds, where he usually goes to smoke but... he's quit. That can't be helping his foul mood. I could do with a cigarette actually. I go to the bathrooms and I can hear clattering. I know he's in there.

Fully clothed he's stood infront of the sink.
"Chase?" There's an ominous flash of silver and suddenly I see what's happening. He has a razor blade to his wrist. I freeze.
"Hey Zo." He smiles vaguely at me, an insane look on his face. Like a mad man. The kind that says 'I love you' before slitting a girl's throat. That kind of insane.
"Chase you're scaring me..." I whisper, shaking uncontrollably.
"Sorry." He wipes the smile from his face.
"Gimme the blade..." I whisper. "Chase this isn't worth it..." I plead with him.
"Why not... life sucks." He says generically. I step closer to the sink and watch the blade, morbid curiousity getting the better of me.
"So..."
"So why not just finish it?"
"Because ok... you... just because! If you kill yourself, I'm going to. MeAND baby so that makes three lives you'll destroy." I hiss, hoping for the guilt trip.
"Why would you do that you idiot? You're happy..." He snaps at me. I place my hand on his arm gently.
"Chase I love you and that's what love is... so please just... drop the blade." He does as he's told. It falls with a sharp metallic 'ding' into the sink.

"Thanks..." I whisper.
"I didn't do it for you." He spits viciously. "There's a baby to think about now isn't there because a certain blonde doesn't understand the concept of the pill." I smack him across the face. HARD. I don't know why that made me so mad.
"Don't you ever refer to me as 'a certain blonde'! And this is so not my fault!" I snap, so does he. He grabs me, and slams me against the wall. It hurts. I wince. "Don't." I whimper. "Chase please..." I say fearfully. "I'm... I'm pregnant." I'm scared. I seriously am, what if he kills the baby? Guess it solves my do I or don't I.
"Zo I..." He looks shocked at what he's doing and then he drops me like wildfire. "I didn't... I've never... that was an accident... you made me mad! I'm sorry..." He's so shocked that he hurt me. I bite my lip. I'm not scared of him anymore. The tiger is a pussycat. As much as everyone says bad things, I don't think he's ever raised his hand to me before. "Zoey never hold that against me... I swear it was a complete mistake I... the baby's ok... right? I never... I haven't..." He stutters.
"The baby's fine. Me too. You're forgiven ok..." I shiver. He steps closer and slips his arms around me. I let him. I feel sorry for him, plus he's the first person to hug me since I found out. He strokes my hair lightly and runs his arms down my back, comforting me.

"I missed you." He says softly.
"Ready to say it?" I ask. He knows what 'it' is.
"Never." He sighs theatrically. He kisses my forehead and I allow him to. I cuddle into him, my arms around his waist my head on his chest. It feels nice.
"Then you know this isn't going to..." I start
"You talk too much." He tells me.
"Perhaps..." He kisses me. Mmmm ugh! I shouldn't be doing this. Without the taste of smoke and ash he tastes nicer too. He strokes his hands around, concentrating on my waist and then chest area. No way am I losing 'it' in a boys bathroom. He slips his tongue into my mouth and starts unbuttoning my blouse.
"Chase stop it." I beg. He groans and gives me the 'Do-I-Have-To' eyes. "Please?"I murmer.He redoes my shirt but continues to kiss me. I'm not complaining, he's like an amazing kisser. I bet that means my Chase is hopeless. Well... I can't have it both ways.

"I missed you." He tells me again.
"That's nice but..."
"Come on..." He says, leaning me against the door, his body pressed against mine."Nobody's gonna walk in on us." He kisses my neck.
"I know but..." He's so tempting. Grr.
"Don't be so icy..." He strokes my face. It's hard to not be icy it's like 10 degrees in here brrr! He lifts me up, so I have to cling to him, my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
"Chase I am NOT going with you in a bathroom!" I snap. "Much less now that we've broken up!"
"Don't say the..." He trails off, kissing my neck instead.
"Chase... please..." I beg. "Get off." I push him lightly. He puts me back on the ground... thenbacks off and stares.
"Do I stay or do I go Zoey?" He goes for the sink again.
"Don't you dare go." I growl. If he kills himself I'll scream. "Chase, I need you. I just don't want you ok..."
"No! Not ok. I'm giving you the ultimatum Zoey... All or nothing." he picks up the razor blade and waves it menacingly. I shudder.
"Tha... that's not fair!" I screech in annoyance. "You're telling me..." I shake. "That if I don't sleep with you... you'll kill yourself."
"In no uncertain terms... yeah." he nods.

"I'm not losing my virginity in a dingy little bathroom ok!" I snap. Oops. I just said the V word.
"What!" he laughs. "Get off it Zo..." I bite my lip.
"Chase I'm serious here..." I say tearfully. "I've never done this before..."
"Zoey you're pregnant. We've been a million times... make it a million and one." He pleads. The boy is obsessed. He scares me. I shake my head tearfully. He lowers the blade and places is against his vein.
"Chase... please. Listen to me." I'm going to tell him. "If this is the only way to stop you killing yourself then it's against all my morals and ethics..."
"You don't have morals and ethics." He spits, pressing the blad into his skin.
"But... I'll do it anyway." I say quickly."I'll sleep with you."Soothingly andhurriedly."But you have to understand... I seriously am a virgin. I'm not who you think I am! I'm not Zoey Brooks." I choke.
"Are you... are you being serious!" He asks in shock, he takes the blade away from his wrist.
"Yeah." I'm shaking like a leaf. What if he hurts me?
"Then... who are you?" He asks.
"Zoey Brooks." That sounded dumb. "But not the way you think..."
"Let's take this to my room?" he asks eventually.
"I can't believe you're still going to do this." I wail, but I do as I'm told. I go to his room and sit on his bed. He follows me through, I'm thoroughly expecting him to start kissing me again but he doesn't.

"I don't get you..." he says. "I wake up one day and suddenly you don't like me anymore. And you say you're someone else..."
"I hit my head... and when I woke up I was here. This world is so confused."
"Huh?"
"I'm Zoey. I'm a blonde. You're a goofy little kid with funky hair. Logan's the hot rebel. Daniella's a tough rocker tomboy chick. Nikki's a bimbo. Quinn's a geek. Dustin's 4ft 10 ish. And Michael curses more than all of us."
"You're delusional!" he tells me.
"I know. And I think I'm insane. But honest truth here Chase, I'm the good girl. I've never done anything wrong. Now I'm a pregnant smoker, in a loveless relationship and I'm scared!" I burst into tears.
"You really believe this story don't you?" He asks incredulously.
"It's true!" I say. "And I'm going crazy... There's nobody to talk to. And nobody understands." he slips his arms around me and very gently pulls me onto his lap.

"You're a goth. You've been my girl since forever. We're having a baby." He tells me. "You've been this wacky-shack girlhow long?"
"About a week and a half." His arms are around my waist with his hands clasped on my belly.
"Ok, well you've wanted love from me for weeks so, that's not your fault. You got pregnant before you came, so that's also not your fault. Why'd you start smoking?"
"You did it. You looked cool and I was trying to impress I guess."
"Stupid reason to start... sorry I've been pressuring you. Didn't know you were a psycho." He says with a smirk.
"Hey!"
"So... what am I like then? In this little world of yours?" I lay back against him so my back's against his chest. He keeps his hands on my stomach.
"You're lovely." I tell him, closing my eyes and breathing in his cologne. "You're a bit of a geek. You haven't got an insane amount of friends but I'm one of them. Your best infact. If I have to cry it'sALWAYS you who cuddles me."
"Well... I'm not going to start acting like a geek but... if you need to cry..."
"I do." I whisper."I'm scared."
"Then cry. I'm here." He rolls me over so I'm laid flush against him. He kisses my cheek softly.

He lets me cry and I soon fall asleep. I hope sometimes when I sleep I won't wake up. Is that so wrong?

"Morning sleepy head." He says when I open my eyes. There he is looking as sexy as ever, and here's me, I look like I fell off a rubbish tip. So uncool.
"How long did I sleep?" Blearily, tearing my eyes open, I see he's still under me with his arms around me
"A couple of hours." He stands up and tips me onto the bed.
"And you just... lay there and let me?" I ask skeptically.
"I was thinking a lot..." He confesses. "About Zoey. My Zoey not you."
"What about her..."
"I don't love her." He says very firmly.
"Yeah you do." I tease.
"I don't." He growls.
"Gimme your hand." He reluctantly puts out his hand and I place it on my tummy.
"Does it feel weird?" He asks.
"I feel like a surrogate mother but... other than that no. I don't feel pregnant at all. You're telling me that the night this baby was conceived. There was nothing?"

"You're a virgin." He mumbles. "You don't know. There's sex and there's love. They're two different things."
"Ok, if you honestly say you don't love Zoey then so be it." I stand up.
"You don't care?"
"Like you said Chase. This isn't my life. If it's screwed up I'm not to blame." I say it a little haughtily. He nods.
"I'll see you around Zo..." I tug his shirt and pull him back to me confusing him a little.
"Chase..."
"What?" He growls. I slip my arms around his waist and cuddle him.
"Please don't kill yourself." I whisper.
"Not that it's any of your business. But... ok. I won't. She's... not a bad kid... Zo." He adds her name just to make sure I know who he's discussing."Just confused."
"Thanks." I mumble.
"Can you let go of me now?" He complains.
"Uh yeah... sorry." I pull back and leave the room.

At lunch though he's sat on his own. I wonder vaguely where Quinn is, she's usually all over him.
"Come sit with us?" I offer him.
"No way. I don't sit with losers." He growls giving them a glare. I sigh and ruffle his hair.
"If you change your mind..."
"You can sit here... if you like?" He suggests quickly. "I mean um... I wouldn't mind or anything." I slide into the seat beside him and I could almost swear I see him smirk. Prat.
"Thanks." I say. We eat in silence but the fact he invited me speaks more to me than his words ever could. He's in love with Zoey. He'd just never admit it. I find his hand under the table and squeeze it softly. He looks at me in confusion. I just smile and avoid his eye.

Then we hear a scream.
"Daniella wait I... we weren't... um...! Wait!" Daniella rushes past in floods and Logan is at her heel. Quinn arrives seconds later, smirking inanely.
"Quinn?" I warn. "What did you do?"
"Oh come on I was bored!" She whines. She sits down across from us. Her lipstick is smudged and her shirt is ruffled.
"You and Logan?" I ask.
"I only did it to piss Daniella off." She says fluffing her hair.
"Quinn!" I gasp.
"Oh come on. Like you're Miss innocent. Plus all I did was french him, s'not like I unzipped or anything." She shrugs. He heel begins absently trailing up Chase's leg again but this time he doesn't object. He instead, smirks at her.
"Busy tonight?" he asks her.
"Depends..." She says seductively. "Are you..."
"I am if you are if you catch my drift."
"Chase, your zipper's down." I snap irately.
"It's mean to be."Chase says, with a not so subtle wink at Quinn. I stand up and stalk off. He's not my boyfriend. Why do I care? Ugh. Jerk.

I go upstairs. Daniella's in our room, crying. I am so not up to dealing with her today. Walking totally past her I root under my bed and find my cigarette stash. I lock myself in the girls bathroom on the third floor and light up. Chase can sleep with whom ever he so desires. But if he rubs my nose in it I'll punch him.

A/n: review please