Author's Note: More Rich Dotcom shenanigans here - not much deviation from canon, so I've only been sparse on the details of the episode. The important thing is Rich's conversation with Jane, obviously. ;)
Rich's stay in holding hadn't lasted long. Using a stolen tie clip, he'd loosened the screws on the air vent in his cell and escaped into the ventilation system, crawled all the way back to SIOC and begun making a nuisance of himself again. As it turned out, he'd made the right decision. The Akkadian had assassinated both of the guards in holding within a few seconds.
Reade and Zapata were scouting upstairs, Patterson was in medical after a bomb blast had knocked her out, and the rest of them were here in SIOC, protecting Rich, just like he'd wanted them to. The manipulative bastard had really thought this through.
Weller issued his next orders.
"Nas, you and I will clear the floor. Jane, you stay with Rich. Be ready for anything."
Jane rolled her shoulder, testing her injury. "Make it quick. If he's a strong fighter as well as stealthy, I'm gonna be at a disadvantage."
Kurt gave her a swift nod before he and Nas left.
"Hope the Akkadian didn't hear that, because if he did, he's gonna come straight in here right now." Rich paced the room nervously.
"Rich, come here and sit down. There's an air vent right above you."
With a yelp more suited to someone who'd just seen an unexpected spider, Rich ran into the middle of the room and sat in the seat Jane had indicated.
"If I make my shoulder worse fighting this guy to defend you, I swear to god, I will take it out on you. Violently."
Rich opened his mouth, the beginnings of a smile already beginning to tease the corners of his lips.
"And don't you dare interpret that as kinky! I am as serious as a goddamn heart attack." Jane glowered in his direction.
"I can tell. In fact, this isn't like you at all. You and Kurt are clearly not connecting properly. Patterson said he arrested you, and that's how the CIA got you, but I can't find any of the juicy details online and I'm just dying of curiosity. What happened? Did you cheat on him?"
"Rich…" Jane clicked off her weapon's safety for emphasis.
"Okay, okay, I get it. I just figured you might want to talk to someone you don't have to see every day."
It was unnervingly accurate. Sometimes she did want to talk to someone removed from the situation. But Rich Dotcom was the biggest gossip she'd ever met. He was the very worst person she could choose. She kept silent, hoping he'd take the hint.
"You know I'm right, though? About Kurt being in love with you?"
So much for him taking the hint.
"Do you want to talk about this, or do you want me to protect you from the Akkadian? Because you don't get both."
Rich rolled his eyes. "Pfft. As if you wouldn't protect me if he dropped in here while you were talking about Kurt. You're too good a person to just let me die, especially since I'm your biggest shipper."
Jane didn't even know what that meant, but she didn't bother asking. This day had already dragged on too long and been too damn confusing for her to keep her patience. "Rich, the list of things you don't know about me would fill a book. I'm not a good fit for Kurt. Trust me. "
"Pardon my French, but that's le bullshit. I have never seen another two people as in tune with each other as you two are."
Jane kept quiet, listening for telltale sounds in the walls.
"Sure, your vibe is a little wounded right now, but I could swear you're even closer as a couple now than you were last year. He's not still dating that lesbian marshal, right? Nah, he couldn't be."
While Jane checked the door was still secure, Rich lapsed into silence. He was never this quiet. She actually had to look around at him to make sure that the Akkadian hadn't somehow sneaked up and assassinated him.
When she did meet his eyes, though, his widened gleefully. "Wait. Did you two have sex?"
"Oh, for the love of God, Rich, just shut up!" Had he actually figured it out, or was he just taking a stab in the dark?
His face fell in an almost comical fashion. "Oh, was it bad?" he half-whispered in sympathy. "Sometimes these overly macho types, they just don't try. They're just like three thrusts and then they're done. It's really depressing. It's disappointing enough for me; I can't imagine how much worse it must be for women—"
As irritated as she was with Rich, the thought of Kurt Weller being a terrible lover struck Jane as funny. She turned away to hide her smile, trying desperately to straighten her features, but Rich must have seen through her façade, because he gasped like a schoolgirl at a slumber party.
"You did sleep with him! Oh, God, you have to tell me everything."
"Rich. Just stop, all right? We both know I'm not gonna say anything." Jane folded her arms and stared him down.
"Guess I'll just have to write some fan fiction instead. But look, Jane, all inappropriate questions aside, I'm just trying to help you, here. The man is besotted with you."
He looked so serious, so genuinely sincere, that all the fight drained out of her. Weird as it was, Rich Dotcom actually cared about her. And she was so tired of carrying this burden all alone.
"I know," she said quietly.
"So…? What's the problem?"
Aside from the fact that she'd been a terrorist mole sent to infiltrate the FBI, and he was the Deputy Director, a great agent who everyone looked up to? She couldn't even tell Rich that; it was classified information.
"He deserves better."
"No, Jane. He deserves what he wants. Who he wants. Who he loves." He shrugged, and the clownish expression was back on his face. "And hey, if the side effect of him getting what he wants is tons of orgasms for you, where's the harm in that?"
"Shut up, Rich," Jane said again, but there was no venom in her voice this time.
"And if I mention to anyone that we had this conversation, you'll cut off my balls. Yup. Understood." Rich held up his hands as if to fend her off.
Approaching footsteps made them both tense up. Jane stood between Rich and the door, her weapon half raised.
"It's just us," Nas called, then opened the door.
"Oh, thank God. Three agents are better than one." Rich sagged in exaggerated relief.
"Two are better than none, actually. I'm not officially an agent. You have to go through Quantico for that." Jane relaxed a little once Kurt and Nas were back in the room with them, glad to have backup.
"Glad to have you back, Stubbles. I was getting worried about you."
"All good?" Jane asked Kurt.
"So far. Anyone heard from—"
"Weller, the Akkadian's got Zapata!" Reade's voice was ragged over their comms.
Jane's stomach lurched. Tasha was still a little reserved with her, but she'd been friendlier of late. If the Akkadian hurt her…
"Do we know where?" Weller asked urgently.
"No. I passed out for a couple seconds. When I woke up, she was gone." Reade sounded near to frantic.
"Come on down here and join us," Weller instructed. "We'll find her. I swear."
Things moved in a blur after Zapata was taken. The Akkadian had injected her with a neurotoxin that was slowly killing her. Reade and Nas went up to the C1 administrator's office to try to keep her alive. Meanwhile, Kurt and Jane acceded to the assassin's demand that they leave Rich unattended—for around ten seconds, until they'd doctored the camera feed to loop back, showing he was alone when there were actually two agents in the room with him.
Jane and Kurt were both on high alert, waiting for the inevitable attack. The longer the Akkadian waited, the more likely it was that Zapata would die, and the responsibility felt like lead weights on Weller's shoulders.
Come on. Come on…
"Kurt!" Jane's sharp cry came a split second before he caught movement at the corner of his eye. The Akkadian was advancing on her in a full-on offensive, and Jane was falling back, dodging, landing kicks and the occasional punch or block with her good arm.
She'd use her wounded arm if she had to, Kurt knew, but every time she put stress on it increased the likelihood that her injury would worsen, perhaps even cause permanent damage. He had to make sure she didn't take that risk.
Taking advantage of the Akkadian's distraction, he attacked from behind, landing a hard blow to the back of the man's head, hoping to stun him enough to immobilise him.
As the Akkadian turned on Kurt, Jane kicked out at the back of their assailant's knee, sending him off-balance and turning the fight in their favour. It was closely matched, though, even with two opponents on one.
The Akkadian had figured out Jane's weak spot, and Kurt saw the writing on the wall. Any second now, she'd be forced to use her injured arm, and the assassin would twist or wrench it, worsening her existing injury and taking advantage of her pained distraction to deliver a fatal strike.
He couldn't let that happen.
Knocking Jane aside, he took the next hit himself, blocked a second, then hissed in pain as a knife slashed just below his collarbone, perilously close to his throat. Fuck, that was close.
Jane whipped the Akkadian around by the arm, then used the momentum to flip him onto a table. The Akkadian lashed out imprecisely, stunned, and Kurt grabbed his knife arm, turning it so that the knife pointed back at the assassin. "Which vial is it?"
The Akkadian struggled, refusing to speak. Weller was stronger than he was, and they both knew the fight was won.
"Which one's the antidote? Tell me!" he demanded.
The Akkadian used Kurt's strength to his advantage—which helped him plunge the knife into his own heart.
"No!" Weller and Jane cried out simultaneously.
But it was done. The life faded from the man's eyes within seconds.
"Damn it," Weller groaned. "Team, the Akkadian's dead."
He and Jane leaned against furniture, panting to regain their breath, as Nas and Reade tried to figure out which antidote to use on Zapata. His fear was reflected in Jane's face as they listened to the others decide on a vial and administer it.
All the tension seeped from Kurt's muscles as Tasha gasped for breath, stabilising. Both Reade and Nas reacted with relief, reassuring Zapata that she was going to be fine.
"Oh, thank God," Jane whispered.
A minute later, they found Rich crouching under a table in the next room; he'd fled during the fighting. Weller was in no mood to be civil to him after almost losing one of his team; he slapped the cuffs back on Rich and marched him bodily into the interrogation room, then clipped the cuffs to the table. He didn't stick around to listen to the hacker's babbled thanks.
Jane met him outside the interrogation room door. "Medics are taking care of Zapata now. Patterson thinks she knows Rich's next move, too."
She reached out to his bloody shirt. "Let me take a look at that."
"It's not serious." Even so, Weller let her drag him over to the break area down the hall, where a first aid kit waited. The pain in his slashed chest finally began to catch up with him as he peeled the bloodied fabric away from his skin.
"You shouldn't have knocked me out of the way."
"He was going for your weak side. Better I got a little cut than you making your arm worse again." Weller unbuttoned his shirt halfway, enough that Jane could see the extent of the injury.
She pulled a pained face in sympathy. "It's not too deep. It might be worth getting sewn up, though."
"Get stitches? And miss out on a new manly scar?" Kurt joked wearily. "I'll be fine."
Jane's gentle touch made pain flare through his wound—especially when she brought out the iodine—but her ministrations were a balm to his soul. Her green eyes were dark with worry, her forehead creased in a frown.
"How's your arm?" Kurt asked, barely resisting the urge to lean in and kiss the top of her head.
Jane tested the range of movement in her shoulder, keeping her eyes on his wound. "No worse. Thanks to you." Pressing a fresh dressing pad over the injury, she finally looked up at him. "Thank you."
He wanted to cup her face in his hands and kiss her. Instead, he smiled and began to rebutton his ruined shirt. "Anytime."
Author's Note: So we are nearly, nearly at the point of them actually getting together now. :D And after they get together, next will be the Bulgaria trip (I switched around the episode order a little bit) and a Keaton encounter for Jane. After that, I might just fade to black on Sandstorm, unless I can think of a way to make the rest of the season new and interesting without a million episode recaps. Thanks for continuing to read, and if you have any thoughts about Jane's tattoo, about Sandstorm or about anything else related to the fic, feel free to share them with me!