A/N: This was written for The Two Broomstick's 2006 Fall Fic-a-Thon. The prompt: HP/SS. "Damn that's hot! NO!!! I'm straight! I like girls, I love girls." A decidedly straight male happens to come across 2 Sevs (result of time-turner) shagging Harry under a shady tree at Hogwarts (or 2 HPs 1 SS). Summer time.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the associated character, places, or things. This fanfic is meant for purely entertainment purposes only. No profit is being made from this.

A/N: Many thanks to dreamyraynbo for beta-ing this!

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Pissed off, Charms professor Draco Malfoy stormed through the castle, searching for one absent Defense teacher. That blasted Potter knew that they had to coordinate their syllabi before the students arrived later that week. But of course the Man-Who-Wouldn't-Bloody-Die-But-Managed-to-Kill-the-Dark-Lord-So-We'll-Forgive-Him-for-That was nowhere to be found, and had, in fact, been disappearing before Draco could corner him for the past week and a half.

He was stalking past the Entrance Hall when a flicker of movement caught his eye. Hoping it was Potter, he whirled around, only to be disappointed to see Severus Snape standing there. The older man didn't appear to notice him, concentrating instead on slipping out the front doors.

Draco was astonished. Not only was the man not in his dungeons – and apparently willingly at that! – but he was going outside on what ordinary people would call a beautiful summer day! Highly curious, he followed the Potions Master.

The man made his way down to the trees by the edge of the lake. There he picked a tree, seemingly at random, and leaned against the trunk to wait.

Draco was just beginning to get bored waiting for something to happen when movement within the trees caught his eye, and out of the shadows stepped none other than the elusive Harry Potter. His eyes narrowing in annoyance, Draco debated between revealing himself to confront Potter, and remaining hidden to find out what in the world was going on. In the end, curiosity won out, especially since—

Whoa! Was that a smile? A genuine smile? On Severus' face? The shock of seeing such a smile on a normally sober Severus' face was so great that Draco almost betrayed himself by making a noise. (Unbeknownst to him, his Disillusionment charm had, indeed, fallen when his shock caused him to stop concentrating)

Stunned, Draco could only watch as Severus lowered his mouth to Potter's. He had known the two were on friendly terms, but this…!

Still trying to wrap his mind around the idea of Severus and Potter being together, Draco almost didn't notice a third figure come out of the woods and hug Potter from behind as the Potions Master knelt in front of him. When he saw who the newcomer was, his eyes bugged out in a most undignified manner.

That time turner is a ministry regulated item, and he's using it for... this?! For indeed, the newcomer was none other than Severus Snape.

The standing Severus stole a quick kiss before nibbling at Potter's neck, his hands slowly trailing up the shorter man's arms. The kneeling Potions Master unbuttoned Potter's trousers and took out his erect cock. Potter visibly sucked in a breath as his lover gently caressed him before licking down his length.

Damn, that's hot. No! I'm straight. I like women, I love women. Draco amended hurriedly, horrified at the direction his thoughts had gone. I am not turned on by watching my godfather get it on with Potter. I'm straight! I've always been straight! I do not think they're arousing. I don't... Bloody hell, 'Mione's going to kill me...

Breaking free of his stupor, Draco turned and fled towards the castle, forgetting entirely the fact that he was supposed to be hiding.

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Harry managed to pull himself together enough to glance over at the rapidly retreating figure. A lazy smirk played across his lips.

"I take it he followed the older version of myself from the dungeons?" the Severus behind him purred in his ear.

"Yeah," Harry breathed, fighting back a moan as his lover put his tongue to good use. "Thanks, Sev. I doubt he'll be arranging for me to walk in on him and 'Mione again any time soon."

"Good." With that, Severus nipped at his earlobe. Simultaneously, the kneeling Severus decided to lightly use his own teeth. Crying out hoarsely, Harry forgot all about Draco and lost himself to sensation.