A/N: Hello! Another update:) Have been really busy lately with schoolwork but i refuse to let it tie me down:D

I went to see The Goo Goo Dolls in Cambridge on Friday:) They were amazing! Was near the stage as well:) Really happy about that:) Still beaming:D

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

Let me know what you think:D

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Broken Dreams

Chapter Five

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"Harry, what are you doing?"

Harry turned round to see Tonks standing at the door with a concerned expression on her face.

Harry sighed and placed the file on the table, "Nothing…"

Tonks moved over to Harry and peered at the file that had just been placed at the table, "Doesn't look like nothing," She stated as she picked it up observing the cover. She bit her lip when she saw the photo attached to the brown file, it was Hermione.

"I was trying to find something…anything we may have missed," Harry said solemnly, noticing Tonk's expression.

"Harry…" Tonks sat on the desk as she handed the file to him, "We tried, we tried the best we could to bring her back but we couldn't trace her, we couldn't find her anywhere," She said with a brave face trying not to show the tears forming in her eyes.

"I know, I know it's just…I feel like we missed something that is right under our nose. I feel like that there is something that has been here this whole time and we haven't noticed it, do you know what I mean?" Harry said trying to explain the things that have been swimming around in his head that haven't been given a chance to come to surface.

Tonks simply nodded, "Yes, I know what you mean Harry. We all do, but we have to draw the line somewhere and as much as we hated it we had to accept the inevitable," She said in a quite voice, it was clear that she hated being the one to state the harsh reality.

"We shouldn't have given up, we should have tried harder. It kills me to think that I could have done more, I am Harry fucking Potter for Merlin's sake! I must have been able to do something!" Harry said angrily as he clenched his fists and slammed one down on the table.

Tonks visibly flinched, for the first time she has clearly seen the full effect of how Harry was coping and from what she had just seen she knew he wasn't dealing with it well. He was repressing his emotions and feelings on this matter and she knew it wasn't healthy. She wondered how long Harry had been feeling like this, wallowing away in his guilt and not opening up to anyone.

"Harry, please tell me you don't blame yourself," Tonks pleaded.

Harry looked up into her eyes and replied, "If I said I didn't, I'd be lying"

"Oh Harry," Tonks said as she placed her hand on his shoulder, "Why didn't you talk to anyone about it?"

"Because!" Harry exclaimed, "Ron is already struggling with his problems without me adding mine to his worries. Ginny is worried about Ron, as is the rest of their family and I can't exactly say, 'Sorry, but adding more to your plate because I feel guilty about not being able to find Hermione', can I?"

"You could have come to me or Remus, Harry please don't say you have been bottling this up all this time. It's not healthy…"

"I know it's not bloody healthy, but I can't stop it from happening. It just comes with the other cons of being me!"

"Please stop putting blame on yourself Harry, Hermione wouldn't want to see you like this would she?" Tonks said softly, trying to get through to him.

"I wouldn't be feeling like this if Hermione was here. Tonks, I haven't seen her since the battle, I don't even know if she is still alive! Not knowing hurts more because you keep thinking, dreading the situations she may be facing all the time! What if she is hurt? What if she needs us and we aren't there to help her? We can't help her!"

Tonks sighed, "Harry, I know it's hard. Sometimes not knowing is worse because there can be several things that run through your mind but you have to stay strong, you have to at least try and not think about what Hermione might be going through," She explained, trying to calm him.

"Tonks, I know but sometimes it's hard not to wonder. Small things make me think about her, every evening I have a meal for me to eat, does she? Is she even getting any food? And if so is it enough to live on? I go to bed, a nice warm comfortable bed, and it makes me wonder what she has to sleep on! Does she even have a place to sleep? Is she forced to sleep on the floor?" Harry exclaimed, waving his arms around in frustration, "What I am trying to say is that it's hard not to think about her, when every day I am reminded of her. I am forced to think what she may have to live on every time I eat, sleep or even turn the heating on!" He stopped and saw Tonks's expression. She looked tired and at a loss of what to say. He could see the tears forming in her eyes.

"Harry, I know it's hard, but you can't keep doing this to yourself, it's not healthy," Tonks said meekly as she wiped her eyes with her sleeves.

Harry blew his hair out of his eyes, "Tonks, I am sorry for lashing out but I can't help how I feel. I have screwed things up for Ron, he doesn't even know if Hermione is alive. He tries to keep her alive but it's hard to get people to listen to him because despite what they may think they have accepted that she is gone. It's hard, the other night he was in tears at the thought of being with anyone else! Ginny insists he tries to at least meet other people and stop being so isolated, but I think it's ridiculous! Asking Ron to move on without Hermione is like asking him to stop eating! He can't…he can't…" Tears were now forming in his eyes but he refused to let them fall.

Tonks looked directly into Harry's eyes; "You haven't screwed thing up for anyone so stop blaming yourself for every little thing that happens! Just because you are Harry Potter doesn't make you liable for everything that goes wrong in life!" Tonks exclaimed confidently in a firm tone. "Harry, listen to me. Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened to Hermione, nor blame yourself for what is happening to her. The blame should be pointed to the Death Eaters that took her!"

Harry was shocked by Tonks's outburst, but deep down he knew she was right. It wasn't fair on anyone, Ron in particular, if he kept on playing the 'victim'. He knew it wasn't his fault, but every picture he saw of her the more pain he felt and more guilt grew. He couldn't help the fact that every time he saw Ron in a state, he felt responsible; after all he was Harry Potter. One must expect that with great fame come even greater enemies.

Hermione realised a long time ago that the best thing she could do when presented with a situation like this is not to struggle. She had found out the hard way and she would rather not go back there, she needed the strength. She refused to waste time and energy on struggling against the inevitable.

She walked slowly to her designated place; they liked to bring her here. They liked to make her suffer, she knew that well. She was one of the best friends of their greatest enemy, the one who murdered their master and took away their power. They liked to take their anger out on the prisoners, but saved the worse of their hate for her. She supposed that was the punishment for being friends with Harry, correction for being one of his best friends. She knew it was because of her own stupidity and ignorance that she was here, if only she stayed with someone then she might be with Ron, living well rather than being here.

On arrival they had taken away her wand so she was left defenceless. She could not apparate out of her prison, since there were wards preventing her from doing so. She tried once and paid the price of being thrown back against the wall, which left her unconscious for several hours. Those wards were extremely powerful, and it was obvious that they were conducted using dark magic.

It was not made clear as to why she was here, but she could assume that she was here for the satisfaction and pleasure of capturing and torturing one of Harry's dearest friends. The thought of them enjoying torturing people for fun made her sick, she was a sport to them and when they were finished they put her away ready to be used again.

This was the story of her life for the past two years, and she hated it. The first few months were filled with high hopes that soon she will be rescued and free of the dreadful place, but as the months went on she realised that her hopes were slowly fading, only to be replaced by the sense of dread. She may be here for the rest of her life. She did not know how long she had to live; it was a cruel waiting game.

Every time they came to collect her, she did not know what was going to happen. Sometimes they would inflict pain on her and enjoy watching her scream in pain. Other times they would act completely different, giving her food such as stale cheese, bread and sometimes if she were lucky an apple. She was suspicious when they gave her food, concerned about whether they poisoned it with something but her hunger would take over and eat without question. She was glad of the food she was given, to her it was better than nothing at all, but due to the lack of food she had lost a huge amount of weight and with that she didn't have the energy she used to.

She bore many scars from her imprisonment, scars that would forever remind her of this ordeal, if she were to escape that is. Every day was spent waiting, simply waiting for one of them to come. Every time that door opened, she felt a chill run down her spine.

And now she was walking slowly in front of the Death Eaters who had cruelly sealed her fate. Until she found a way to retrieve her wand and figure out how to escape from where ever she was, she would remain here, a prisoner of war.