Author's Note: More from Kurt's POV today! Do you guys want to see more of Kurt and Jane's sexy Sunday, or shall I jump straight on into the office on Monday?
It only seemed as though he'd been asleep for a couple of minutes when someone yanked the bedcovers off Kurt. Shivering at the unexpected chill, he rubbed a hand across his face, frowning when he heard a female voice mumbling something in a language he didn't understand.
A flailing, tattooed arm hit him in the chest, and he contextualised fast—Jane was having a nightmare. It was hardly surprising, given what had happened earlier tonight.
It was all too likely that she'd lash out if he touched her, defending herself from whomever was in her dream and not realising he was just trying to help. Kurt decided to stick with the routine he'd established back in Oregon. He slid off the bed and stood with his back against the wall, well out of arm's reach.
"Jane, you're dreaming. Come on back to me."
She frowned in her sleep, but it could have been a response to whatever was happening in her nightmare.
He continued to call her name, identifying himself, telling her to bring herself out of it. After a couple of minutes of her distress worsening, he turned on the light as added incentive for her to wake.
Her cheeks were wet with tears as she blearily opened her eyes. She saw him standing in the doorway and struggled to sit up, issuing a sharp challenge in a language that sounded Slavic. Bulgarian? That would fit what she'd just been through.
"It's Kurt. You're in my apartment, okay? You had a nightmare. You're safe."
For a couple of seconds, Jane just stared at him, uncomprehending. Then his words seemed to get through to her, and she buried her face in her hands with a groan. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"Don't worry about it." Now she was awake and aware, he returned to the bed and replaced the covers where they belonged. "Can I do anything? Get you some water, or…?"
Jane nodded slowly, and reached out to pull him back into the bed. Happy to oblige, he lay down and let her rest her head on his chest.
"The last time you woke me from a nightmare, I wouldn't let you near me," she said softly. "I'm sorry."
"We were both hurting," Kurt said, stroking his hand up and down her back in a slow, steady rhythm. Her heartbeat was still calming, residual adrenaline from her nightmare coursing through her system. He hoped his more steady heart rate and breathing would help to calm her. "We had a lot to work through."
"Yeah." She lapsed into silence, but her body language was still too tense for her to be falling asleep.
"Am I still in your dreams?" Kurt didn't want to make it all about him, but her revelation about his part in her nightmares had been plaguing him ever since.
"Not as much since…those nights we spent at my apartment." Jane's cheek shifted against his chest, and he guessed from her tone that she was smiling a little. "Thank you."
"Happy to oblige, ma'am," he teased gently. "Just let me know if you need any more help in that area."
"Anytime, day or night?" She rested her chin on his sternum to look up at him, a playful mood overshadowing the residue of fear in her eyes.
"Mm-hmm." He was just about able to brush a kiss against the tip of her nose by raising his head off the pillow.
Jane gave a more genuine smile and laid her ear against his heart again. "I'll bear that in mind."
He wanted to ask her what she had been dreaming about, but since she'd made so much progress towards relaxing, now was probably not the best time.
"Do you ever get nightmares?" she asked.
Kurt hesitated at the unexpected question, wondering how exactly to put the answer into words.
Mistaking his indecision for reluctance, she backpedalled. "You don't have to answer that. It's none of my business—"
"No," he interrupted, cutting her off before she could start to apologise. "It's okay; I was just thinking. I used to get nightmares pretty bad as a kid. Not proper night terrors, but bad dreams."
"Taylor? Your dad?" Jane's voice was sympathetic.
"Yeah." He'd been constantly on guard after Taylor's disappearance, afraid his father would come to silence his accusations—or worse, go after his sister. "I was angry and scared, and I knew I couldn't protect anyone. Not Taylor, and not Sarah or my mom if he went after them. I still wanted to try. Not that my mom stuck around for long after that."
"That must have been such a strain. Feeling like you had to protect your whole family." Jane shifted so that her head rested on the pillow beside his, giving her a better view of his face. "You were just a little boy."
"My parents used to drill it into us as really little kids. Brothers and sisters don't fight; brothers and sisters have each other's backs." He couldn't help but chuckle at that. "We never really took the 'not fighting' part on board, but we always looked out for each other. When Taylor was born, she kind of became our honorary sister, too. I took it hard when she…"
He didn't need to finish. Jane was already nodding. "That's a ton of responsibility. Your parents should have protected you from that."
"I always dreamed that my father killed Sarah, that I couldn't stop him. Not every night, but once a week, at least. After he sent me to military school, I used to break my curfew, try to visit her, make sure she was safe. It nearly got me expelled."
Jane smiled a little. "You were a teenage rebel? You?"
"Is that really so surprising?"
"No, I guess not. But something must have changed. You became an FBI agent after graduation—not exactly something you do to be rebellious. So what made you finish high school?"
Kurt thought about it. "I guess I realised that I was never going to be able to protect Sarah without being able to make my way through the world. As a kid, I was powerless, but if I did things right, I could become more powerful as an adult and have the influence to change things." Something tugged at his memory, but he couldn't quite grasp it. "I guess someone at the academy must have laid it out for me like that. It was what I needed to hear, anyway."
"And since you graduated, no more nightmares?"
"Not recurrent ones. Just the occasional bad dream when things get stressful. Had a couple after I found Taylor." He shrugged. "Anyway, they're different from yours."
"But still important. They were a huge part of shaping your childhood." Jane ran her fingers down his face. "And you grew up into a good man."
Leaving his thoughts about his past behind, Kurt smiled. "Oh, you think so?"
Jane gave him a light kiss. "I know so."
"And you've known about this for over twelve hours?" Nas demanded, her voice irritated on the other end of the line. "I could have been getting my NSA systems and teams to scour for any sighting or mention of Cade. It could have led to something we could use to narrow down Shepherd's location. Do you have any idea what a chance we've missed here?"
Kurt sighed and sat down on the couch. "Nas, calm down. We don't even know what area to start looking in, and Jane said Shepherd was aware that she had a leak in her organisation. She won't risk her people using Cade's name over comms or on the phone, even if the NSA does have surveillance methods Sandstorm haven't already identified and disabled."
"We don't know that," Nas said. "We could have gotten lucky. In the future, I need to know everything the minute it's safe for her to tell us." She paused. "I'll call her, see if I can get some extra details."
"She won't pick up. She's at the gym and she left her phone on my kitchen counter."
"She stayed over at your place last night? Weller, is there something going on between you two I need to know about?"
Kurt bit back a groan of frustration. This was a complication he should have seen coming. "No, Nas, because it's none of your business."
Her voice was icy. "If you two are sleeping together, that's absolutely my business. Because it affects Jane's loyalties, and your objectivity."
Kurt scowled. "Are you implying that Jane would be able to turn me to Sandstorm, even if she wanted to do that—which she doesn't?"
Avoiding his question, Nas said, "I take it that's a yes, then. You two are in some kind of relationship."
Kurt tried not to grind his teeth. "Yes. But that stays between us until Jane decides otherwise, understand? She's under a lot of pressure already, without having to deal with gossip at work."
"Be careful around her, Weller. Romantic ties can blind you to things you would otherwise notice. Trust me; I know." Nas actually sounded worried about him.
"You're forgetting Jane's already betrayed my team. I noticed she was different, but I assumed I knew the reason the first time around. I was wrong then, but this time I know what signs to look for." Weller was glad Jane wasn't around to hear this. She'd take it the wrong way, assume he didn't trust her.
"I hope you're right." Nas paused, then asked, "And Jane really thinks Cade is my informant within Sandstorm? That would explain why he went dark last year."
They talked for a few more minutes, solidifying the details Jane had given him. Then Nas said, "I should go start working with this. Better late than never. Just get Jane to call me when she gets back, all right?"
"Can't it wait until tomorrow? You have all the major points. Everything else is just details. And Nas, she's only human. She's struggling with all this and she needs time to decompress."
Nas sighed. "Fine. I'll get the rest of the details from her tomorrow. But if she tells you anything else we could use today—"
"I'll get her to call you."
Jane let herself in with his spare key, the one he'd had cut for Sarah when she'd been living here. He smiled over at her and signalled that he was almost done. She gave him a quick smile back.
"And Nas—I meant what I said earlier. About keeping things to yourself."
"Don't worry. I'm good with secrets."
Once he'd hung up, he beckoned Jane to come and sit with him.
"Is she pissed that I didn't call her the minute I got back from Shepherd's compound last night?" Jane asked.
"A little." Kurt took her hand. "And…she guessed we're seeing each other."
Jane blinked. "Oh. Umm…"
"I told her to keep it to herself until we decide we're going to tell people." He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand, wondering what she was thinking.
"I'm sorry," Jane said quietly. "I know this is awkward for you."
"What are you talking about?" He got the uneasy feeling he already knew, but he wanted to hear it from her.
Jane shook her head, eyes downcast. "I don't want your reputation to suffer because people know you're in a relationship with me."
He sighed. "Jane, no one outside of the core team knows you're affiliated with Sandstorm. And I don't care who knows we're dating. I can handle gossip around the office, and I can shut it down. It's you I'm worried about. I don't want you to have to deal with people staring and talking about you behind your back."
The look she gave him was genuinely stunned. "You don't care who knows?"
"You're not my dirty little secret. The only reason I've kept it quiet before now is that I wasn't sure where we stood." He brushed her hair back from her face, using it as an excuse to touch her. "If you want, I can prove it to you by making out with you in the middle of SIOC tomorrow."
Her face broke into a reluctant smile. "That's really not necessary."
"I might do it anyway," he teased. "Just because I want to."
"No, Deputy Director Weller." Jane punched his chest gently. "It's one thing if people know we're together. It's another thing if people actually see it firsthand."
"Okay, then if I'm not allowed to put my hands all over you at work, I'm gonna need to get it out of my system now. Just so I can actually concentrate on the job tomorrow."
She laughed as he pulled her into his lap. Their first kiss was short and playful, but as she leaned in again, his desire ignited and he tightened his grip on her, kissing her harder. Every time he could make her laugh, make her smile, it warmed his heart. He might be powerless to help her when she was with Sandstorm, but he could at least make sure she didn't dwell too much on her time there once she was done.