Harry Potter and the Heir to Gondor
A Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings fusion by Andrew J. Talon
Disclaimer: This is a fanbased parody work of prose. Please support the official release.
Author's Note: Enjoy!
Even though he'd been getting up at the crack of dawn every day for weeks now, Harry wasn't any happier about it than he was at the start. It didn't help that despite it technically still being summer, it was very cold out in Scotland this time of year. Especially in the spandex shorts and T-shirt Aunt Petunia had given him. Anduril was over his back for the moment, but Aunt Petunia had said that keeping your sword there for combat was terrible. Therefore, it would just be there while they did the morning exercises.
"Nnngh," Hermione moaned, standing next to him in similar attire and with a similar, grumpy expression on her face. At the very least, he did have a companion in this misery. One who was no happier about the situation than he was.
"Come on mates! What are you so unhappy about?" Ron enthused. Both Harry and Hermione looked over at the chipper Ron, who, while similarly dressed, was alert and cheerful.
Harry and Hermione shared a look.
"He can have his innocence shattered like ours was," Hermione said.
"And how," Harry nodded back.
"Aw come on! I literally grew up on a farm, this is nothing!" Ron said, his Goblin blade hanging off his back.
Aunt Petunia arrived, with Fred and George trailing her. She was dressed in a plain blue tracksuit, and a heavy looking backpack, with Hadhafang still at her side. The Twins looked mildly disappointed, but no less eager to begin as they gathered at the entrance to the castle.
"Right then," Petunia said, "we have two hours before breakfast. First will be a run around the lake." She turned and set off at a long, loping pace. "GO!"
Ron, Fred and George naturally took to running faster than Harry and Hermione. Following his aunt around. Harry grit his teeth a bit, but Hermione rested a hand on his shoulder. She beamed at him.
"I don't think this is going to be any fun for us at all," she said.
"It'd better not be," Harry grumbled.
An hour later, Hermione was proven correct. Harry didn't consider himself out of shape, mind you. Nor would he consider his companions to be out of shape: Hermione exercised regularly, and Ron, Fred and George flew on brooms, played Quidditch and did household chores.
However, running for a solid hour over bumpy, hilly terrain in the cold, with a heavy sword on his back and an aunt who didn't seem to tire? Yeah, that was something new.
Even the Weasley Boys' lust for his aunt couldn't keep them running for much longer, and all of them settled into a gasping pack some distance behind Petunia. At last, Petunia turned and stopped by a rocky boulder sitting by the lake near Hagrid's cabin.
"All right," Petunia said, sounding only a little out of breath, "everyone take a break."
Fred and George immediately summoned some water bubbles, which they drained in their thirst. Petunia provided water bottles from her backpack to Ron, Harry and Hermione, who sipped them down as slowly as they could.
"Good," Petunia said with a smile, "it's not quite the Marathon but you're in better shape than I thought. As am I."
"Great," Ron managed.
"Now then," Petunia said, drawing her blade, "Harry? Time to practice."
"After a run like that?" Fred asked.
"We do not have the luxury of choosing our physical state when a fight happens," Petunia stated calmly. "Harry?"
Harry drew Anduril, its weight and power comforting in his grip. Aunt Petunia struck, and he got into the proper position and footing to parry her blows. He began pushing back, striking with his greater reach to try and make her retreat.
And as so often happened, Petunia knocked his thrust aside and slid around, ending with the point aimed right at his throat. Harry took deep breaths, annoyed and tired.
"Better," Petunia offered. "You went on the offensive properly." She pulled back, and Harry nodded.
"So uh, can I practice with you, Miss Petunia?" Ron asked, drawing his goblin silver blade. Petunia nodded.
"Of course! Harry, you and Hermione can practice together."
Harry walked off a ways with Hermione. The bushy haired witch produced her staff, which had been shrunk via a charm, and expanded it with a tap of her wand. Hermione assumed her stance, and Harry assumed his, and they began to trade blows and spar slowly as the sun peeked up over the horizon.
"Hey, what about us?" Fred asked. He pulled a pencil-sized sword out of his pocket, and tapped it with his wand. In an instant, it expanded into a full blade-Gaudy and golden.
"Yeah, we made swords too!" George said proudly, producing his own weapon that he too expanded. Petunia smiled wryly.
"Well, there's a problem with that," Petunia said. She lightly tapped both swords with Hadhafang... And they immediately returned to what Harry assumed was their original forms: Sticks. Sticks that fell to the ground as burning bundles. The Twins yelped and looked up at Aunt Petunia in awe.
"This is why I don't use any weapon that can't handle the stresses in training with Harry," Petunia stated, "and Harry has to master Anduril. He's bound to it, and it to him." She smiled consolingly at the downcast Twins, "but I'll happily switch to a training blade to help you all!"
"All right!" Fred said cheerfully. George immediately grabbed a few sticks, and quickly transfigured them into simple looking steel swords. Petunia took one, tested its weight, and nodded as she stepped back. She smiled at Ron, and winked at the Twins.
"Now Ron, do you remember the basics from this summer before your vacation?" She asked kindly.
Ron nodded happily.
"Sure do, Miss Petunia," Ron said, almost bashfully.
"Good! Please, try to attack me," Petunia said as she held up her transfigured blade.
Ron charged, hesitating only a little. He obviously didn't want to hurt Petunia...
"YAH-AHH!"
And he didn't, as Ron was flipped face first into the dirt.
"OOF!" Ron groaned. Petunia swung her transfigured sword around, and smiled kindly.
"Good on you for holding onto your weapon!" Petunia complimented him. "That is real progress!"
"Urk, thank you," Ron managed.
Harry and Hermione continued practicing their moves, Harry striking and trying to find an opening in Hermione's defense, while Hermione kept deflecting his blows with her staff's reach and sidestepping around his charges. While not an athlete, Petunia's training had certainly made the bushy haired girl into a competent sparring partner.
"YAH!" Hermione cried, thrusting her staff forward and unleashing a burst of magical force. Harry narrowly dodged it, and brought his sword down on Hermione's neck-Stopping just short of making contact. Hermione winced, but relaxed as Harry pulled Anduril away.
"You're getting better at that," Harry said admiringly. Hermione huffed, and looked down at her staff.
"This is pretty impressive wood, given what your aunt said about transfigured items," Hermione said. "Did Professor Dumbledore say where he'd gotten it?"
"He didn't," Harry said with a small smile, "but we'll find out. Don't be too hard on yourself, either."
"I'm not being too..." Hermione trailed off at Harry's look, and stammered. "W-Well, maybe I am. I mean, I don't think I'll ever really get this down."
"Why are you so underconfident all of a sudden?" Harry asked, "you never have been before... Well I mean, a few times but..." He shook his head, and looked Hermione in her eyes. "You're doing just fine. I've lost even more times than you have, I just keep getting back up again."
He then gave her a warm grin.
"Besides," he said, "we're a team. I'll defend you," he held up Anduril, "up close, and you defend me from afar. Like you always have... And always will."
Ron, Fred and George got knocked into the dirt by Petunia once more. And all three got back up, eager for more. Harry looked to see all this, which is why he didn't see Hermione blush furiously.
Her Song sounded very... Different though. Almost romantic?
"Hey Harry!"
Harry looked up in surprise, as did the others. A cheerful redhead girl in Hufflepuff colors approached, with a slightly more sullen blonde girl in matching robes at her side. It took Harry a moment to place their names, as both girls had done some growing up over the summer.
"Susan Bones, and Hannah Abbott," Harry said. He smiled. "Hey! What brings you two out here?"
He took a moment to hear their Songs, as he saw his aunt relax out of the corner of his eye. Susan walked up to him, her smile apologetic.
"I wanted to say I'm really sorry for how we treated you last year," Susan said earnestly, "It was very unfair of us. Honestly, I should have realized it wasn't you when Colin Creevey was petrified, while you were in the Hospital Wing." She sighed deeply. "My skills of deduction failed me! And I'm so very, very sorry."
"So am I," Hannah said solemnly.
"Er, that's okay Susan, Hannah," Harry said with a smile. Susan beamed, and hugged Harry.
"Oh thank you! Thank you! You know, our Noble Houses were aligned once upon a time! Maybe we can be again?" Susan asked. Harry blinked, and looked over at Hermione. His best female friend shrugged. He glanced over at Ron, who had no more answers either. Petunia raised an eyebrow.
"Anyway," Susan continued, "you have a Numenorean blade, right?"
"I... Yes?" Harry admitted, after another quick look over at Petunia. Petunia shrugged. Susan turned to Hannah.
"Hannah? Please," Susan asked politely. Hannah sighed, and shot a pityingly look at Harry, before she pulled a wooden box out of her robes. She held it open, and Susan reached in. With surety and grace, Susan pulled out a long, slim, curved blade with Elven writing on it. Petunia was by Harry in an instant, taking hold of the blade and examining it. Susan beamed, apparently not bothered by the woman's speed or taking the blade.
"This is my lhang!" Susan said cheerfully. "It's the family sword of the Bones! It's authentic... Right?" Susan asked, looking a little nervous.
Petunia hummed, and nodded. She smiled.
"It is," she said, "this was a sword of a common Elvish foot soldier, but still quite effective." She looked at Susan intently, "I take it you know how to use it?"
"I've trained with it a lot, my aunt insisted I learn," Susan said, "but I've never fought against someone else. Could... Could I join in your practice?" She asked hopefully.
"I wouldn't mind learning some new magic too, ya know," Hannah muttered. Susan beamed and hugged Hannah.
"Of course! Can my best friend join too?"
"I don't see why not," Petunia said. She handed the sword back to Susan. "Would you like to demonstrate your skills on Harry?"
"Me?" Harry managed. Petunia smiled confidently in him, and he smiled back. "I mean, if you want to, Susan," Harry said.
"Oh! I'd love to!" Susan said cheerfully. Her smile was a tad manic as she let her robes slide off. She spun her blade around with both hands, and then adopted a very surefooted stance. Hermione and Petunia both stepped away, as Harry assumed his own stance. Hannah stepped very far away, and snuck behind the bemused Twins.
"All right," Harry said. He moved forward in a quick three strike combo, to test her reflexes. Susan parried each other... And then her grin became a bit disturbing.
"My turn!" She said cheerfully, and moved. Her slashes and thrusts came fast, and Harry was almost immediately on the defensive. His fast reflexes saved him, and he was able to focus on her Song, but Susan's wild swings and blows were fast and random!
Her Song was some help, but it was jumpy and energetic and whimsical-Yet dangerous!
Susan dropped down and kicked Harry's foot. He stumbled, as she swung to catch him from behind. Harry dove in a tumble, and brought Anduril up to point in her face. He found himself staring down the point of the lhang.
Susan was breathing hard, her cheeks flushed with excitement.
"Wow!" She cried, her long red hair fluttering behind her, "you're impressive! And you only just started?"
"Y-Yeah," Harry managed, his cheeks red too. He got up, Susan offering her hand. He accepted, and he got to his feet.
"Her weapon requires a more... Random style," Petunia observed, "but it's good to practice against multiple styles. And to have another sword Anduril won't break."
"And another mad bird," Ron muttered.
"Tell me about it," Hannah muttered back, her Song a bit exasperated.
Hermione stood next to Harry, smiling at Susan.
"Well, it will be very nice to have you here helping us," Hermione stated, her Song back to normal if... Tense.
"I'd love to pay you back for all the homework help," Susan replied happily. Her Song was joyous and... Oblivious?
Petunia shook her head.
"Teenagers," she muttered.
"Something wrong, Aunt Petunia?" Harry asked.
"I said let's get back to work!" Petunia ordered. "You too Hannah. Though I may start you off on arrows. Ranged combat is something you will all be learning soon."
"Yay Arrows!" Susan cheered, hugging her best friend gleefully.
"More range suits me just fine," Hannah murmured.
It was amazing just how much Harry resembled his father. His hair was just as messy, his face was the same shape, his smile and laugh were so similar... Those eyes of his were Lily's. They were so warm, kind... Yet he could see the steel in those eyes.
His godson had seen terrible things. He knew more than a boy his age should.
Not for the first time, Sirius Black cursed Voldemort and every damn wizard that had made this world such a hellhole. Especially for James and Lily's boy.
He was training with the blade, his bushy haired best friend handling her staff pretty well. The Bones heiress was bouncing up and down eagerly, cheering as they fought back and forth. He suspected that, if she took after her aunt, she'd be "bouncing" a lot more soon. The Muggleborn girl though... She looked jealous? Oho!
Even the Bones girl's best friend wasn't unaffected by Harry's training. She snuck peeks at him despite her unhappy expression, as Petunia was showing her and the other kids how to handle a bow and arrow.
Nice working of the shaft, his mind said, and Sirius allowed himself a mental grin. Well damn, now he knew where Lily had gotten it-Her elder sister was a fox. Why it had taken her so damn long to get here, he didn't know, but he wasn't complaining. He'd be howling along with the Weasley boys if he was able. Maybe, some day...
He glowered as he stayed still in the shadows of the trees. His moments of sanity were longer and longer, but not long enough.
Even now he felt the chill of the Dementors. Like his soul was ragged and worn. In his grim form, it was much less noticeable. His feelings were less complex, but his memories were becoming clearer. Slowly.
The more he was around Harry and Petunia though, the better he felt. He could almost see light from their auras. Like he had mage sense.
Who knows, maybe he did? Being around the Dementors that long, the world seemed black and white. And now everything had color. It was overwhelming.
He felt something stuck to his hind leg, and he jerked back in shock. A bit of spider webbing-?!
He was yanked back fast by something powerful, deeper into the forest. He struggled, transforming back to human form to get his stolen wand!
But whatever had grabbed him spun him around, spider webbing quickly encapsulating him head to toe.
Damnit...! DAMNIT...!
He'd steered clear of the Acromantula colony! They wouldn't dare come this close to the school! He couldn't be taken by them-Not now, not after everything!
He hung suspended, upside down. Only dim light filtered upon him through the treetops above.
A dark form descended... And the man's eyes widened.
It was a dark, female form. Pale, trim, but with curves in all the right places. Long black hair, and pale skin. Dressed in black, skimpy clothing made of strips of cloth. Her bare feet hung from a swing made of spider silk. She lowered herself to look him right in the eyes, a sexy but dangerous smile on her face. Her eyes were dark, almost black.
"Well, well, well," the woman murmured softly, "whatever have I caught in my web today? It seems too big to be a fly."
She reached out and undid the webbing gagging the man. He coughed, and worked his jaw. He thought he had lost so much... But something was stirring inside him. Something long forgotten...
"Tell me we're going to mate before you eat me," he said.
The woman raised her eyebrow, and smiled softly.
"You're certainly brave," she said. She caressed his bearded cheek. "I do like males with confidence. I have you at my mercy, and you think this will end in sex and then your death?"
"You'd have a lot more fun with me alive than dead," he replied. "Why not wait on the death part?"
The woman stared at him... And then snickered. He could even see a hint of a blush on her pale cheeks.
"Hmph, you think I'm impressed by that?" She asked. The man shrugged as best as he could in the cocoon.
"Well, I'm still alive aren't I?"
"Hmph," the woman snorted, "maybe I just like playing with my food."
"That doesn't mean no mating," the man said, summoning up a roguish grin.
"I am technically a giant spider, you know," the woman stated. The man shrugged.
"I figured as much."
"And... That doesn't bother you?" The woman continued, incredulous.
"Nope," the man said, almost cheerfully.
"Because you've been in Azkaban for thirteen years, right?" She asked dryly.
"Nah, I'd want to mate with you before then," the man said.
The woman huffed.
"You just don't want me to eat you."
"Well, you can just do that later. What's the rush?" The man asked.
The woman tilted her head, blinking.
"Can't you beg for your life like a normal person?" She asked.
"Ah, but I'm not normal," the man said cheerfully. "And neither are you. So, why rush to the eating?"
The woman sighed, and then chuckled softly. He felt the webbing become less restricting.
"I suppose it would be nice to have someone who could help me with the situation," she said. "Information and all... And a convict who is dependent on my good will."
"What a generous offer," the man replied
She turned him right side up, and set him on the ground. She descended, still on her swing.
"So tell me... What is the name of my new minion?"
"Fair's fair, lady," the man said, "tell me yours first. So that I know what to scream later."
The woman now did blush, and shook her head in disbelief.
"You're insane."
"Doesn't make me bad company," he replied cheerfully. "Your name?"
The woman paused, and sighed.
"Shelob, daughter of Ungoliant. And you?"
"Sirius Black," Sirius said, bowing as best he could in his cocoon. "I have someone I need to kill. Interested in helping?"
"Does it involve the heir of Elessar?" Shelob asked. Sirius nodded.
"Involves protecting him."
"Well," Shelob said, raising one perfect leg, "that will work well, yes..."
"So," Sirius said, eyes locked on her leg, "sex happening or what?"
"If you're good," the woman stated.
"Miss Weasley," Petunia spoke. The second-year looked up in some shock from her book. She was in the library, studying, and now standing before her was Petunia Evans.
She'd met the woman at the Leaky Cauldron, of course, but... Well, she'd been with her family then. And Harry. The tall, beautiful woman was much more intimidating when she was on her own.
"Please walk with me," Petunia asked gently. Ginny nodded, slid her book into her bag, and got up.
"Yes Miss Evans."
She walked alongside Petunia out of the Library into the hallways. They passed by a few other students, but soon reached an area of the castle that was deserted. Petunia led GInny into one of the unused rooms.
The older woman shook her head, wrinkling her nose at the dust.
"I assume you know how to clean with your magic?" She asked. Ginny nodded, and quickly waved her wand.
"Scourgify!" Ginny cried. It took her a few times, until there were two chairs and a table clean enough for Petunia's taste. At last, Petunia sat down in one chair, and Ginny sat in the other. Ginny looked over at the imposing woman nervously, not quite able to meet her eyes.
"Your parents told me about what happened last year," Petunia said quietly. "As did Harry, Hermione and Ron."
Ginny trembled in fear and shame, and looked down. Petunia shook her head.
"I am not upset," Petunia spoke, "no one blames you, Ginny. It is that..." She grit her teeth, "Lucius Malfoy who should pay."
"He... He paid for my mind healing," Ginny muttered angrily.
Months of therapy. It had been draining for her, but Ginny could say, at least, she did feel much better now. Much less guilty, much less horrified.
"Blood money," Petunia sniffed. She shook her head. "Unleashing a monster in a castle full of children-Including his own? These Pureblood Wizards are truly mad. Present company excepted, of course."
"Of-Of course, Miss Evans,"
Petunia reached across and took Ginny's hand. Ginny looked up, a bit worried, but she felt... Almost soothed by the touch.
"Miss Weasley," Petunia said, "I need your help. I'm Harry's Guardian, and I am sworn to aid him any way I can. I know that it is a difficult subject, but... One must know their enemy."
Ginny looked up at Petunia in mild shock... But the redhead's eyes narrowed.
"I know what you want to know," Ginny said, "you want to know about Tom Riddle... V-V-Voldemort!"
Petunia slowly nodded.
"I have learned much of his history," Petunia said, "just by going over what's in this school. But I need to know how he thinks. He is going to try to kill Harry again-Of that I have no doubt. It may take him decades to rebuild his power. But I must know his mind."
Petunia paused for a moment.
"If you do not wish to discuss this, I understand, but-"
Ginny shook her head, a fire in her eyes. She'd seen how hard Harry was working-How hard Ron, Hermione, Fred, George-How they all trained so hard. How fearsome Miss Evans was.
She also remembered how helpless she had felt under Tom's thrall. How cold and alone...
"No, we... We can start right now," Ginny said, "I just want one thing in return-"
"Training from me?" Petunia asked with a soft smile. Ginny nodded firmly. "It will be difficult."
"I will... I will never be a victim again," Ginny said, determined. "Harry didn't stop for anything to save me... I-I won't either!"
Petunia studied the girl, as though listening to a song she couldn't hear. The older woman smiled, and nodded.
"Very well." She sighed. "I should have demanded more money before coming onboard. But first, tell me all you know about Thomas Marvollo Riddle."
"Where would you like to begin?" Ginny asked.
More to come! Please review!