Chapter 3 - There Is No 'I' In Moron

Citadel Newsnet - Hanar action vid star Blasto walked back his earlier claims that all profits from his forthcoming vid, Blasto: The Battle for the Citadel, would go to fund evangelical programs to spread the Enkindler faith. Blasto said in a press release that this comments were the result of a "miscommunication" with 6th Dimension Vids and his own "eagerness to spread the Enkindlers' message," and apologized for the confusion he created. Producer Mlax Ventkad told this reporter, "Evasive and overly-rehearsed. 6th Dimension Vids has the utmost respect for the faith and its followers. However, we are a private business that does not get involved in religious matters." - Emily Wong reporting.

Citadel Security officer Quetzal stared intensely at his console, the motled light brown skin on his brow furrowed in deep concentration. The puzzle presented before him wasn't one for the layman. Only someone of true skill and critical thinking could crack this one. But then, that was why C-Sec employed him as a data security specialist.

This unassuming salarian could decypher the most complicated encryption codes in Council space. To him, the safeguards for the most sophisticated computer systems in the galaxy were little more than temporary delays. He could trace a fraudulent transaction faster than a VI and once disabled the security on a satellite that was seven star systems away.

Granted, this particular set of skills had led him down some murky paths in the past but C-Sec's Commander Bailey had been very sweet and overlooked his few previous transgressions once he realized that Quet was an irreplaceable asset. "Better to have the skunk inside the tent and pissing out, than outside the tent and pissing in," Bailey had explained. Quet didn't know what a skunk was or what precisely Bailey had meant by comparing him to one, but the human's underlying message was crystal clear: I want you on my team.

Now Quet was a reformed character. He was a crime fighter. He was a hero! He was a protector of the innocent and a vanquisher of evil! But most importantly, he was a-

"Moron."

The unexpected voice right behind him caused Quet to jump, squeal and promptly fall sideways off his chair, landing with a thud on the floor.

Blinking in confusion, he rolled onto his back and looked up to see a familiar asari with teal-colored skin and green eyes gazing down at him. "Jacana!" he exclaimed, spluttering for something to say, "I- you- what?"

"Four down," she said, smiling calmly as she nodded to the Westerlund News daily crossword that was currently displayed on his console, "Human term used to describe someone who is notably stupid or lacking in judgement, five letters. Moron."

Quet began dusting himself off. "Can't be. There is no 'I' in moron, so it doesn't fit."

Jacana rolled her eyes. "That's true. 'Moron' is still the correct answer. You're stuck because you got the across column wrong. The eight-letter word meaning 'extremely talented beyond others' you need for that section is 'virtuoso.' It is not 'salarian.'

Quet got back on his feet and stared at the screen. After a few seconds he began scowling and muttering under his breath about the "vagueness" of the clues in the Westerlund News crossword puzzles. He then hit a button on the console to close the screen before turning to see that Jacana was wrinkling her nose in mock sympathy for him.

"Slow hacking day?" she enquired.

Quet huffed, "If you must know, I'm on my break!"

"Really?" she feigned surprise, "I thought you didn't take breaks? Didn't you tell me you couldn't afford such luxuries, that you're so invaluable here that the entire computing department would fall apart without you under their heavy workload" Her eyes wandered to the rest of the office. There were only three other people in the room; two turians who were involved in an intense sword battle with pens as their weapons of choice and a volus, who was seated in the corner snoring loudly through his breathing mask.

The turians smirked when they saw the asari. Jacana had allowed Quet to tell his colleagues that she wasn't just a reporter but also his mistress. It was a handy subterfuge that allowed her access to the office without anyone reporting their meetings.

Quet scowled, "What are you doing here?"

"Following up on a lead for a story I'm working on," the freelance journalist replied casually.

Quet snorted a laugh. "You know what always used to impress me about you, Jacana? The way you can just lie without even skipping a beat."

"Alright," she allowed, perching herself against his desk and folding her arms, "I came to see how you are. And to let you know that your previous employer has been asking after you."

Quet looked around sharply, checking if anyone had overheard, before taking a step towards Jacana and continuing in a low tone, "Would this be the former employer who can't seem to let go and accept that I've moved on?"

"No," Jacana said patiently, "this is the former employer who let you leave their service very amicably under the circumstances and now understandably expects a bit of co-operation from you in return. It's been three months since your last report."

The salarian had once been one of the Shadow Broker's best sources of information on the Citadel. But the tips stopped coming after he joined C-Sec. Since then, the Shadow Broker had developed an increased interest in Citadel activity, particularly anything involving the Council. Jacana was working harder than ever to dig up information and it was exhausting at times. Getting Quet to resume his reports would take a lot of the pressure off her.

"Look!" Quet exclaimed, in a tone loud enough that he immediately regretted it. He quickly looked around the office to see if anyone reacted. The volus continued snoring and the turians' stationary battle appeared to have escalated to them flicking paperclips at each other. "Look," he hissed again, more quietly, "if I get caught passing C-Sec files to… you-know-who, I could get fired! Or worse, arrested! Again!"

Jacana leaned in closer to him and smiled her deceptively friendly smile, "Sounds like marvelous motivation not to get caught, doesn't it?"

Quet scowled and was about to counter-argue again when he noticed Jacana's emerald eyes were suddenly drawn back to his console. He glanced back to see that in his haste to close the extranet page, all he had actually done was hit the back button and the screen was now displaying the Westerlund News homepage.

The headlines had been scrolling slowly through as a slideshow and had now stopped at 'Adria S'Voz on Playing the Queen of Omega: an interview by Khalisah Bint Sinan al Jilani.' The muted clip playing beneath the headline showed al-Jilani interviewing the asari actress. Jacana's gaze was fixated on it.

Quet, sensing a shift in the conversation, took full advantage, folding his arms and adopting a smug smirk.

"You know she's back on the Citadel?" he stated.

"Yeah," Jacana agreed distractedly, "She's filming the new Blasto vid here."

"Not S'Voz! The journalist!" Quet exclaimed. "You know, the one who was naked and tied to a chair the last time I saw her?"

A small frown of annoyance flickered on Jacana's brow as she recalled the incident, a tense moment when she, Quet and Khalisah were all endangered by a group of mercenaries. "Yes, I know," she casually remarked, as though discussing nothing more than the weather. "I got a message from her, asking if I want to meet up. I... don't entirely know what to make of it."

Quet frowned. He hadn't actually intended this to become some kind of heart-to-heart. Salarians weren't big on relationship advice. He wasn't sure he even understood what had gone on between the human and the asari during their brief adventure together. To salarians, the whole concept of 'romance' was alien, a primitive practice that their species had long since evolved past. A good thing too, Quet thought, given the wild, unpredictable changes in personality and emotional state romantic feelings caused for members of those unfortunate less-evolved species. Jacana was a prime example of this: she became different when talking about al-Jilani. She lost her usual unshakable confidence and became… well, bizarrely sincere.

Just bringing up the subject of al-Jilani had made the conversation suddenly awkward. Quet was tempted to change the subject. But Jacana was the closest thing he had to a proper friend and this sort of thing seemed important to aliens. He decided to humor her.

"Why? What's weird about wanting to meet up?"

She grimaced slightly, "The message came attached to a copy of Vaenia."

"Ooooh," Quet nodded earnestly, honestly still none-the-wiser. "Isn't that the romance vid starring S'Voz?" he asked. Vaenia was so popular with aliens that even salarians like Quet were at least passingly familiar with the vid, even if they never grasped what supposedly made it special. Quet had been repeatedly told that one scene halfway through Vaenia set on a tower rooftop was "scorchingly hot." This made little sense though, given how windy such a location would have to be.

"That's the one, yeah," Jacana confirmed. "We watched it together once."

Quet frowned. "She sent you a vid you've already seen? Now I get why you're confused. What's the point in that?"

"Well," Jacana shifted slightly, "We never saw the end of it. We got… distracted, in the middle."

"You got distracted halfway through a vid?" he questioned, "Was it that boring? And who stops watching a vid halfway through? What the heck were you doing?"

For a moment Jacana said nothing though Quet became aware that she was gazing at him, brow furrowed as though trying to think of a response. She opened her mouth twice, seemed to come up with nothing and eventually just said, "You know what, Quet? Never mind. Just don't forget that your previous employer is expecting to hear from you."

The asari turned and left. Quet returned to his monitor and opened a new file. He titled it, 'You Know What For You Know Who.' He stared at it for a long time, wracking his brain for something he could place in it. After a few minutes, he closed the still-empty file.

Jacana strode into the Presidium cafe looking chic and sharp-dressed even by asari standards. Heads belonging to numerous different species turned as she walked past. It was the fruit of about two hours of work earlier in her apartment trying on outfits and experimenting with the latest makeup accents for her facial markings. This wasn't something she usually did. In fact, Jacana was rather lacking in vanity for an asari, preferring casual clothes to dresses. But on this occasion, she wanted to impress.

It had been a long time since she had last seen Khalisah in person, but the human had never been far from her thoughts. Their brief time together had been intense, exciting and over much too soon. They were only just beginning to truly get to know each other when Khalisah left the Citadel to claim her inheritances on Beckenstein and then visit her daughter Daniyah on Earth. But now she was back and apparently eager to pick up where they left off. If that was the case, Jacana wanted her human lover to be wowed by the sight of her.

Jacana certainly hoped they would get back together. To her, Khalisah was both enticingly exotic and warmly familiar. Humans were a rarity among Council-aligned species for possessing the long, thin fur known as 'hair.' Asari in particular found it endlessly fascinating and it was one reason why taking on human lovers had become so popular. For Jacana, it ran deeper than that. Her father had been a quarian, the only other species known to have hair, and she had grown up on Rannoch prior to the geth rebellion. Jacana was therefore among the few living beings who recalled what quarians looked like before they were driven off their home planet and forced to wear exosuits to survive. One of the things she recalled most vividly about her childhood was her family and friends' long, flowing locks of dark hair. So it was a special moment the first time Jacana got to run her fingers through Khalisah's jet-black tresses.

There was something about Khalisah beyond that surface appeal though. This human was a fierce creature driven by passion, principle, and determination. She would take the hard knocks of life - sometimes quite literally - then get back up, plow ahead regardless and ultimately get her way. As difficult as Khalisah could be at times, Jacana couldn't help but admire her. There was a tragic side to the human as well. When they exchanged memories, Jacana discovered that Khalisah had lived her life literally never having known what it was like to be truly loved by another. Worse still, as far as the human knew, her experience was normal. She expected the galaxy to be a harsh, unforgiving place and acted accordingly. Jacana had hoped to show Khalisah that she was wrong and expose her to different experiences, including being loved. It was a very asari thing to do, Jacana mused, her people's whole culture being built around sharing wisdom and experience with other species.

They were happy for a while. But then Khalisah's trip away from the Citadel dragged on for months longer than planned. During that time their once-frequent extranet messages slowly ground to a halt. Jacana began to wonder if the human had left the Citadel - and her - for good. Had Khalisah's earth-born prejudices against mating with an alien won out? Had Jacana misread the human from the start? Perhaps Khalisah had found someone else while traveling? Or was the situation Jacana's fault for getting overwhelmed by her work for the Shadow Broker and not trying to harder to keep the communications going? It was all very confusing.

Just as Jacana had begun to tell herself that she needed to move on, the copy of Vaenia had arrived. It suggested the simplest explanation was the case: they had both let things slide a little but, now that Khalisah was back, she wanted to pick up where they had left off.

Khalisah had taken a table near the back of the cafe and was glancing at a menu when Jacana first spotted her. The asari had been going over in her head all morning what to say to Khalisah to break the ice, settling on a compliment followed by questions about Daniyah. But seeing the human again after all these months left Jacana speechless. Khalisah was wearing a long, figure-hugging dress of silver fabric that shimmered in the light. It was asari in style, presumably acquired while on Illium, and flattered every curve on her body. Khalisah's hair had also grown since she had been away, falling loose in dark coils that extended several inches past her shoulders and providing an even sharper contrast to the human's emerald green eyes.

As Jacana's mind fumbled to remember the compliment she had planned, she noticed something else: Khalisah was clearly in physical discomfort. She was tenderly rubbing her upper arms and scowling as she did. Jacana's curiosity got the better of her and she simply blurted out, "What happened to your arms?"

Khalisah sat silently and blinked for a long moment, then winced and began to rub one of the arms again. "Got grabbed by a pair of security mechs down at one of the spaceports," she explained. "They hoisted me up and clamped down on my arms so hard that the blood stopped circulating, then tossed me into the public area. Got bruises all up and down."

"Snooping somewhere you weren't supposed to?" Jacana asked.

Khalisah glared at her. "I don't need to be lectured on respecting privacy from somebody who sells secrets to the Shadow Broker," she retorted.

Jacana winced. They had gotten off to a terrible start. Better change the topic, and quickly, she thought. "I'm sorry. I was just concerned. You're important to me and we haven't seen each other in a while..."

Khalisah interrupted her. "I have sources telling me that Aria T'Loak just arrived on the Citadel. She came in on the same freighter as the cast and crew for the next Blasto vid. That freighter was crammed with weapons and explosives. T'Loak is planning something and the Blasto vid is just a cover for it. I *know* this," the human declared, fire flashing in her eyes. She leaned towards Jacana. "What does the Shadow Broker know about this?"

Jacana was dumbfounded. "What information do I have about T'Loak? Nothing," she replied, shaking her head.

"Bullshit," Khalisah declared. "The Broker is too well-connected to be ignorant of this, and you're his top Citadel source, right? Plus, you're an asari. So, you must know something about T'Loak."

The aggression that Khalisah used to ask the question irritated Jacana almost as much as the implication of it. The warm tingle of anticipation from seeing the human began to fade. "What, do you think we all have to check in with the matriarchs every day?!" she sputtered. "I didn't even know T'Loak was here!"

Khalisah looked at her skeptically, then leaned back in her chair and began to cross her arms, only to stop and grunt in pain when they touched. "Fine. I'll get the story some other way then," she declared.

"No doubt you will," Jacana sarcastically shot back. "It's good to see you too." In their previous time together, Khalisah had had moments when she was similarly prickly and difficult. Jacana had learned to just let them pass. This was worse than any of those though. The asari felt hurt and confused. Of all the ways she'd pictured this reunion going, she never predicted this.

Jacana tried again to change the topic. "I had hoped we could talk about us. You look ... good, by the way," Jacana added, still grasping for what to say. "I… really like your hair. It's longer than I've ever seen it."

Khalisah shrugged and flicked one of the locks back across her shoulder. "I meant to get it cut. Illium is lacking in hairdressers so I've had to wait until I got home."

"Well, I like it," Jacana ventured again, hopefully.

"It's impractical," Khalisah muttered, leaving that branch of the conversation abruptly dead in the water.

"Right," Jacana averted her gaze as she tried to think of some other way to salvage things. "I loved the present. Perhaps now that you're back, we can do what S'Voz suggested?" She risked a playful smile but the human did not respond in kind.

"Oh. I see," Khalisah replied. An awkward silence followed before the human asked, "You really don't know anything about what T'Loak is up to?"

"Goddess! Is that all you care about?!" Jacana shouted, now loud enough for the cafe's other patrons to hear her. This was getting more confusing by the second.

Khalisah sat back, her expression shifting from impassive to something much colder. "Are credits the issue?" she asked. "Because I can afford the Shadow Broker's fee now. Or is the information just not available to humans?"

With that, Jacana felt her heart drop like a stone into the pit of her stomach. Khalisah thought Jacana was lying about T'Loak and deliberately withholding the information. How could she believe that? A swell of emotions that Jacana couldn't yet interpret began to boil inside her, until her throat burned with the effort of keeping them inside.

Jacana rolled her eyes. "I thought the Vaenia gift was a message about what you wanted to do when you got back. I'm obviously here under false pretences," she declared

A look of shock flashed in Khalisah's eyes. She took Jacana's comment "what you wanted to do" to mean just one thing. "Really? False pretences?! Do you mean free casual sex? Is that what you were hoping for?" she shot back. "Because if that's the case you obviously don't know me at all!"

With that, Jacana's remaining patience vanished. They had previously melded minds and explored each other's memories, so Khalisah now telling the asari 'you obviously don't know me' was, to Jacana, the equivalent of saying, 'You're pretty stupid.' The asari seethed and lashed back at the human. "I know that you see everyone in your life as a potential threat. And I know that you lie to and manipulate all of them because you think it's the only way you can protect yourself. But I thought you were different with me. I thought we were different." Jacana got up and straightened her clothes.

Khalisah frowned. "What are you doing?"

"Leaving," the asari declared. Jacana paused, waiting for the human's reaction. She expected anger, some scathing retort crafted of the tip of Khalisah's sharp tongue intended to wound her. But it never came. Instead Khalisah just stared. Jacana gave her plenty of opportunity to respond. To apologise. To explain. To admit that she saw Jacana as more than just a useful source. To confess that she felt something, anything about their time together.

But, as the seconds dragged by, she said nothing. Jacana had no choice but to take that as her answer and she turned on her heel and left.

Had Jacana asked one of the other patrons what happened after she left, they would have told her the following: "The human sat there alone with a stunned and forlorn expression on her face, then said aloud, 'I'm sorry.' She sat there silently for a while longer, then gathered her things and left, staring at the floor as she walked."

Jacana was still fuming over the incident when she got a ping on her omni-tool later that afternoon. It was Quet.

"Hello, I just wanted to ask you to tell 'Our Friend' that if I am going to resume that work, then we need to discuss my rate," the salarian began. He paused when he saw through the view screen that the asari was in a dark mood. "Umm, is this a bad time...?" he asked.

"No, it's fine," Jacana frostily announced. "Everyone else views me as nothing more than a pipeline to 'Our Friend.' Why shouldn't you too?"

Only one thing could make an alien this upset, Quet quickly realized: romance. He felt a pang of sympathy. After all, it wasn't Jacana's fault that even the supposedly highly advanced asari had yet to catch up with his species' evolution.

"Your reunion with the human did not go well?" he cautiously inquired.

Jacana grunted, "You could say that," then added, "She only wanted me to give her information on Aria T'Loak. And the worst part is I knew all along about her obsessiveness and paranoia. I had just kidded myself into thinking that she was different with me. Goddess, I was such a fool..."

Quet nodded along, quietly thanking his ancestors for sparing him from such turmoil. "Yes, that's... pretty random," he replied. "Why T'Loak? She's way out in the Terminus Systems, right?"

The asari shook her head. "No, she's apparently here on the Citadel. Khalisah has a bunch of sources inside the new Blasto vid production telling her that T'Loak came in with the vid's cast and crew and snuck a ton of weapons, explosives and other contraband on to the station. That's what she claimed anyway. She assumed I knew all about it because I'm asari too! I mean, really?!" Jacana scoffed. "It's probably just another one of her conspiracy theories."

The salarian shrugged. "No doubt. Anyway, to get back to the reason why I called, please tell 'Our Friend' that my rate needs to be renegotiated, ok?"

Jacana promised she would and bid Quet goodbye. She brooded over the day's events for a while longer, then realized she needed to finish her next report for the Shadow Broker, which was due in the morning. A few hours later, she turned in for the night.

Quet peered at the image, slowly scanning it from right to left. The answer was in here. It had to be. He needed only to be patient and it would reveal itself, then he could get back to decrypting those intercepted batarian transmissions for C-Sec. He was still focused on the image when, 15 minutes later, he felt a tapping on his shoulder. The salarian spun around in his office chair and saw Jacana staring down at him, her arms crossed.

"The human named 'Waldo' is right there," she announced, pointing to the bottom left part of the picture on Quet's viewscreen.

"I already examined that..." the salarian began, then paused when he glanced where Jacana was pointing. He looked closer, then frowned and clicked the image off. "What's up this time, Jacana?" he asked.

The asari glared at him. "We need to talk," she began, then looked over her shoulder to Quet's C-Sec colleagues. "Alone."

The expression on Jacana's face was stern and serious. Quet rubbed his chin, then said to the other officers, "Gonna be in the supply room with, uhh, my friend here for a little bit," he declared. "Don't, uhh, interrupt, okay, guys?" The turians began snickering, then nodded. The volus gave a dismissive wave. Quet then grabbed Jacana and led her into the room. "Yes?" he asked expectantly once they were inside.

Jacana continued to glower at the salarian. "Funny thing happened when I reported in to 'Our Mutual Friend' earlier this morning," she began in a whispered but angry voice. "I was halfway through when I got asked about why I didn't have anything on Aria T'loak and her activities on the Citadel relating to the Blasto vid. I then learned from 'Our Friend' that a 'newly-reactivated Citadel operative' had relayed the information about T'Loak late yesterday. I was told to quickly look into the matter because a human reporter named Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani had a network of inside sources at the production and was planning a major expose." She paused to let that sink in, then added, "Well?"

Quet slowly shrugged. "Why are you telling me this? I should think a much better use of your time would be to make amends with the human and then..."

The asari cut him off. "Don't play dumb with me! You sold that information!" she growled.

Quet tugged at the collar of his uniform. "Okay, yes, it was me. So what? You said you didn't believe any of it, so I figured you wouldn't report it," he whispered. "But I needed something juicy to convince 'Our Friend' to up my rate. So I used it."

Jacana threw her hands up. "I have no idea if any of that is true!" she sputtered.

"Lower your voice," the salarian admonished. "Well, your human friend seemed convinced of it and she is a reporter right? That's good enough. Plus, it did get me a higher rate..."

The asari shook her head. "I wouldn't expect that in the future," she replied, drawing a puzzled look from Quet. "I say that because I was told by 'Our Friend' that the same information was passed on to C-Sec *and* the Special Tasks Group at roughly the same time, so they both know about Khalisah's upcoming expose too. That was another reason why I need to act quickly gathering information - this 'secret' is spreading around quickly," Jacana took a deep breath and sighed. "You know that when 'Our Friend' purchases information, they expect to be the sole buyer, right? And that 'Our Friend' has other sources inside C-Sec, as well as sources within the STG? So, if somebody were to - oh, I don't know - sell the same information to all three at the same time, 'Our Friend' would pretty quickly find that out?" Jacana grabbed the salarian by his uniform's lapels. "Goddess, what were you thinking!?"

Quet grew indignant. "I am a Citadel Security officer. I have a duty to pass along such information to my superiors. The fact that I provided it anonymously to the investigations bureau in exchange for a modest remuneration is just a detail about the process," he began, removing Jacana's hands from his lapels as he spoke. "As for the STG, I am a proud citizen of the Salarian Union. It is my patriotic obligation to assist my species. The fact that the STG provides finders fees doesn't make it any less of a patriotic duty," he declared, then quietly added, "Umm, did 'Our Friend' mention anything about the Systems Alliance also getting the same information...?"

Jacana's face sank into her hands. "Goddess, is there anyone you didn't sell the information to?" she asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Quet retorted. "Cerberus."

Jacana looked up, incredulous. "The human terrorist organization that hates aliens? That's where you draw the line!?"

The salarian crossed his arms. "Yes, the rates they quoted me were insulting!" he shot back. Quet then paused to listen at the door and see if any of his colleagues were eavesdropping. Satisfied that he and Jacana had been granted privacy, he continued. "Okay, so maybe I got a tiny bit overzealous. I still don't understand why you're so upset. I'm the one who is potentially in trouble with 'Our Friend,' after all."

Jacana seethed. "Don't you get it? The one who is in trouble is Khalisah! Thanks to you, word has spread around so quickly that it's only a matter of time before it reaches T'Loak herself!" A chill ran down Jacana's spine. "And once that happens, Khalisah's days are numbered."