Author's Note: This one is basically just smutty angst, no real plot at all... so it's skippable if that's not your thing. The plot will resume in the next chapter with goodbyes to Zapata, Patterson, Reade, Nas and...Borden.

Knowing it would be the last time they'd share a bed for a while, Jane was determined to memorise everything she could about Kurt that night. She spent a few minutes in the bathroom after he'd vacated it, strategising as she brushed her teeth, and hoped she could make things as memorable for him as for herself.

Why was she nervous? It wasn't like they hadn't already had sex before their bath, and dozens of times over the past few months before today. But earlier tonight had been more like an appetiser for the main course—and his proposal of marriage, even though she'd turned it down for now, made their relationship seem like it was more solid, more permanent than ever before.

Kurt was already in bed when she returned to the bedroom, lying almost flat on his back, slightly propped up by pillows as he studied his cell phone. Most of the blankets were folded down to the end of the bed, since they wouldn't be using them until they were ready to sleep, but he'd pulled the sheet up to cover himself from his stomach downwards. Jane had a strong suspicion that he was naked underneath, and she couldn't help but give in to a mischievous impulse.

Kurt set down his phone as she approached the bed, his expression growing quizzical as she halted down by the bottom corner. "What?"

Jane leaned down and pinched a wrinkle in the sheet towards the end of the bed, then gave a light tug. The hem of the fabric gradually slipped farther down the bed, revealing more and more of Kurt's naked body as she pulled—first his stomach, then his abdomen and the enticing trail of dark hair that led downwards. By the time she uncovered his hips, the sheet was beginning to tent, clear evidence of his interest in her intentions. She paused for a second, looking from the fabric up into his face, finding arousal and amusement mingled there.

"Nice bedlinen," she told him, keeping as straight a face as she could.

He laughed as she gave another tug, half-exposing his cock. One more, and she'd have nothing left to tease with, so she stripped down to her underwear to draw things out. She'd skipped a bra after their bath, and sensed his appreciative eyes on her as she kicked her lounge pants out of the way. When she gave the sheet a final pull, he was hard enough that she barely needed to move it to reveal him.

Joining him on the bed, Jane stroked a teasing finger up the underside of his cock, then let her hand fall away. Kurt took a deep breath, and she looked up at him from under her lashes, letting the anticipation grow.

She saw none of the hurt left over from their conversation earlier, only arousal and frustration. That was exactly the way she wanted it.

"Jane…" he murmured, as she pushed apart his thighs enough that she could lie between them. "Come up here."

Later, she would. Right now, she wanted to taste him, hear his groans of pleasure, feel the shifting of his abs beneath her fingers as she sucked him. This man was too impatient for his own good when it came to letting her take care of him, and she planned to tease and take plenty of time with him tonight. He deserved to come before he started driving her wild, because once he started he could go on for a long, long time. She didn't want him to have to wait—or at least, she only wanted him to wait for as long as she was drawing things out.

She took him into her mouth slowly, relishing the way he stifled a moan under his breath, his abdominal muscles tensing at the sensation. He pushed farther into her mouth, and she let him in as far as she could take him, then increased the suction as she lifted her head, still slow enough that he understood this was going to take a while.

"Fuck…"

She opened her eyes and looked up into his, fluttering her tongue just beneath the head of his cock, and the impatient heat in his expression made her own desire flare. Her underwear would be soaked soon, and she regretted not stripping all the way down earlier.

"I wanna touch you," he murmured huskily.

Jane released his cock for long enough to speak, using her hand in place of her mouth. "Let me take care of you first?"

His eyes were conflicted, but after a second, he nodded, as though he sensed how much she wanted to focus on his pleasure.

Jane concentrated on her task again, sucking and stroking, taking her cues from the way Kurt tensed, the soft groans he made, the way he tangled his fingers in her hair and bucked up, trying to push deeper. He watched her as though she was the sexiest thing he'd ever laid eyes on, right up until his eyes closed and his head fell back, his breathing hard and his thighs shifting on either side of her.

"Fuck, Jane…" He tugged her hair lightly, a gesture she'd come to realise meant he was right on the edge.

She'd planned to back off, tease a little more, but he looked so involved in the pleasure she was giving him that she didn't have the heart to deny him. She kept right on going, humming her satisfaction, hoping to bring him off with the vibration.

Kurt came with a low, relieved cry, his body jerking as his release filled her mouth. As the tension drained from his muscles, Jane swallowed his semen, then gave his cock a few gentle licks and kisses before she sat up.

Kurt reached for her, his eyes still closed, his breathing ragged. When she only moved up to sit by his waist, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles gently, he opened his eyes. "You okay?"

She nodded, fighting a wave of sadness. "I just… want to…"

Unable to express herself in words, she turned his hand over to kiss his palm, then the heel of his hand, then his wrist. She tasted him with small flicks of her tongue, memorising the feel of his skin against her mouth.

Kurt watched her with lazy, post-orgasmic satisfaction, tinged with concern. She hated that she was making him worry about her now, when they were supposed to be thinking about nothing but the present moment, and as she continued her path up his arm, kissing and nuzzling, she murmured, "I love you."

Kurt pulled her into his embrace, then rolled her farther over him, so that the entirety of her weight rested on his body. "I love you. I love this."

Jane lifted her head enough that she could gaze down at him, their faces only an inch apart. He watched her just as intently, as though memorising her features.

She brushed her fingers over his stubble, the familiar roughness making her smile. She leaned down as though to kiss him, then drew back as he moved in to meet her, teasing him.

With a soft laugh, Kurt reached up to pull her head down, his tongue stroking across hers as their lips met.

Jane barely realised when he rolled her over, too lost in their kisses to care which way was up. It was only when he trailed his lips across her jaw and around to just below her ear, then down the sensitive skin joining her neck and shoulder, that she realised he was planning to go down on her. Her heart skipped just from imagining his tongue between her legs, and she arched against him, wordlessly hurrying him along.

Not that Kurt took that hint. He took his time, as he almost always did, seeking out every spot that made her shiver along the way. He teased and nibbled her nipples, nuzzled the undersides of her breasts, left open-mouthed kisses down her side, from the bottom of her rib cage down to her hip. Everywhere he touched made her want him more, and when he pressed his lips to the fabric of her underwear, trailing his fingertips up the insides of her spread thighs, she almost whimpered at the hunger in his eyes.

"You don't mind if I take these off, right?" he asked, pushing his chin against her as he spoke.

Jane shook her head, speechless with the need for him to taste her.

"Or I could just leave them on…" With one finger, he dragged the material between her legs aside, exposing her soaked skin to the air and making her squirm.

"Kurt…" She'd been aiming for an order, but her voice emerged a plea.

He gave her one confident, toe-curling lick, then pulled her underwear back into place as her body begged for more.

"Don't make me get violent," she warned, only half joking.

Laughing, he stripped away the obstructing garment altogether, then trailed kisses up the inside of one thigh, watching her the whole time.

"Please?" Suddenly, it was too much for her to bear. She needed his mouth on her, not just sexually, but emotionally.

Sensing her shift in mood, Kurt reached up to interlace his fingers with hers as he lowered his face between her legs. She squeezed his hand in gratitude and encouragement, her free hand resting on his head as a moan escaped her lips.

I need this. Just this. Just you.

Kurt still couldn't accept that tonight was all they had. The knowledge was lurking below the surface of his consciousness, no matter how lightly he teased Jane, and as she squeezed his fingers, he knew she was barely coping.

All he could do was distract her, and he threw himself into it with everything he had. Jane gasped his name as he stopped holding back, digging her fingers into his scalp.

Her scent, her taste, the way she writhed under his tongue, tilted her hips to guide his fingers where she needed them… He loved it all, cherished her lack of reserve as she rubbed unashamedly against him. Yet his heart was already broken from missing her, before she'd even left, and as he drank in the sight of her first climax, he hoped like hell that her mind was too overwhelmed with pleasure to think of anything else.

At least he could give her this.

Again. As long as she's coming, she's not thinking.

Usually he'd make a game of it, try to tally her climaxes in his head, curious as to whether his guess matched her experience. Tonight, he felt more determined than playful, more worried about stopping her slide into melancholy than taking her to the heights of ecstasy.

Goddamn you, Shepherd, for ruining this.

After a while, Jane gave an exhausted groan, pushing him away. "No more. I can't…"

Kurt lifted his head reluctantly, watching her. "You sure?"

She nodded, reaching for him. "Come here?"

He crawled up the bed, unable to help but smile at the dazed expression on her face. "You okay?"

"Mmm," she murmured, and pulled him down on top of her, wrapping her arms and legs around him. Her breath shook against his neck, her body still calming from her last climax. "But you're not. Are you?"

He wanted to lie to her, but she'd already figured him out. "Just…can't switch my mind off. About tomorrow, not about earlier."

"Kurt… You shouldn't have stayed down there for so long—"

He lifted his head to look down at her, interrupting before she could get caught in a spiral of guilt. "Yeah. I should have." He gave her a quick kiss, then explained, "It felt good to help you switch off."

She gazed up at him, all empathy and concern and deep, undeniable love. "I just want you with me. On my wavelength. Even if that means we stop here."

He nodded, and she pulled him down for a slow, loving kiss that reignited his lust. When he pulled back, she studied his face and smiled. "There you are."

"I'm right here, with you," he murmured against her lips.

"Right…here?" She tilted up her hips in a clear suggestion, rubbing her clit against his hard shaft.

He nipped her lower lip, then reached down between them to position himself, teasing her by not pushing hard enough to drive inside. Jane gazed up at him with amused frustration, wriggling a little, but he anticipated it and moved, staying where he was for now.

"Pin me down?" she suggested. "I want to feel as much of you as I can."

As she unwound her arms from around his neck, Kurt caught her hands in his and held them down, one by one.

"More," Jane whispered. "I want all your weight on me."

"I'll crush you."

She gave him a smile tinged with mischief. "That's what I want."

Kurt leaned on her as much as he dared, keeping a little tension in his arms to protect her from his full weight. Jane made a soft, appreciative noise as he kissed the side of her neck, and he couldn't ignore the demands of his cock any longer. He rocked into her, only an inch or so, yet enough to make them both catch their breath.

"Kurt…"

He growled softly against her ear. "I fucking love the way you say my name. I always have."

She tried again to encourage him farther inside her, but he'd been expecting it and moved with her once more, unable to help but laugh even as his cock protested.

"If I say it again…?"

"Try it and find out." He bit down lightly on the side of her neck, and a shiver ran through her that made him lose most of his will to resist.

"Kurt… Please…?"

He couldn't deny either of them anymore, and drove into her, deep and steady. Being inside her always felt so damn good, the warmth and pressure of her around his cock driving him halfway out of his mind. "God, Jane…"

She murmured something unintelligible against his neck, briefly trying to free her arms from his grip, and he raised his head to check she wasn't suddenly panicking at the restraint.

Jane smiled up at him. "What?"

"You want me to let you go?"

Immediately, he wished he'd chosen better words, but she just shook her head, shifting against him.

"I want a lot of things, but not that."

He gave her a soft, slow, suggestive kiss that made her body ripple around his cock. The breathy noise she made called his mind back to the day he'd covered her neck in kisses in the locker room. He'd wished like hell that he could be inside her then. Now he actually was, maybe it was time for a second round.

"Remember that day you needed help zipping up your dress at work?" he asked, in between kisses.

"Mmm…" Was it his imagination, or did she get wetter? "I could never forget that. I was so mad at you."

He laughed, kissing across her jawline. "That's not how I remember it."

"Maybe I got mad later," she admitted, her voice deliciously husky.

He trailed his lips down the side of her neck, and just as she had that day, she tilted her head to allow him better access. "I wanted to pull up your dress and fuck you, so damn much."

He wasn't sure if it was his words or his lips, but something made her inner muscles tighten around his shaft, and he swallowed a groan at the sensation.

"I wanted you to," Jane whispered. "I thought we'd just be a one-time thing, but then you did that, and I just…"

"It was never meant to be just once for me. I could never get enough of you, Jane." He poured all of his focus into the act of kissing her neck, over and over, varying the location and technique. Every tiny movement she made, every sigh, every ripple around his cock, he drank in and memorised, wholly immersed in her reactions to his lips and tongue.

"You still with me?" Jane asked, and he lifted his head immediately, letting her see exactly where he was right then.

She gazed up at him, her desire clear on her face. "You look so good when you're turned on."

He grinned. "You wanna touch me?"

Jane tugged lightly against his hold on her arms, her smile teasing. "Yeah."

Kurt pretended to consider it, then shook his head. "I'm not done yet."

As he went right back to provocatively kissing her neck, her quiet laughter made his chest swell with love for her. Even with such terrible circumstances approaching, their chemistry was still unaffected, and he was glad he could make her laugh even now.

Her amusement quickly became appreciative moans as he devoted his attention to the neglected side of her neck, giving plenty of affection to every spot that made her squirm against him. He wanted to draw back and thrust, over and over again, until neither of them could move, but not yet. Not until they were both at their limits for foreplay.

Jane gave an aroused, frustrated cry and tugged at his hold on her wrists with more force. "Kurt…"

The gesture wasn't panicked—not yet—but he remembered how quickly things had gone wrong with the handcuffs when they'd tried them, and rolled her over on top of him. Disoriented, Jane blinked down into his face.

"Your turn to pin me down."

If she realised why he'd switched their positions, she didn't let it show. Instead, she kissed each of his inner wrists in turn, then laced her fingers through his and pressed his hands down on the pillow on either side of his head.

"That work for you?" she asked, her voice carrying a breathless undertone that made his cock ache.

"Everything you do works for me."

She leaned down and kissed him, lifting her weight off his lap as their lips met. Kurt groaned as she slowly began to ride his cock, still leaning down to pin his hands. "Especially that."

Jane's eyes locked on his as she continued to move, and he couldn't look away, mesmerised by the intensity between them. When she finally closed her eyes, her movements becoming more urgent, Kurt broke her symbolic hold on his hands and sat up, needing as much contact between their bodies as possible. With his arms around her back, and her hard nipples brushing against his chest every time she rose and fell, he brushed kisses over her skin wherever he could reach, driving his hips up to meet her.

Jane dug her fingers into his shoulders, gasping, and he knew she was almost at the edge of her climax. He gripped her hips, increasing the force of his thrusts, needing her to tip over the edge. She cried out her orgasm in the form of his name, her whole body trembling, and he watched her fall apart, her lips parted and her head tilted back in ecstasy.

Just goddamn beautiful.

"Come with me?" she murmured as she recovered, reaching down between them to where they were joined, teasing his balls for a moment before beginning to press down on her clit.

Kurt didn't need another invitation. He was aching for release, his heart racing and his muscles wound tight. He rolled Jane onto her back and pounded into her, driving himself towards the edge as she arched against him.

"Oh, god, yes!" Jane grabbed a fistful of the pillow and gasped through her climax, and Kurt gratefully let go, pleasure blanking out his senses as she panted in his arms.

Neither of them moved for a while. They clung together in the afterglow, too physically and emotionally exhausted to do anything but catch their breath.

After a few minutes, Kurt reluctantly shifted his weight from her body to the mattress, then pulled up the blankets to cover them. Jane spooned up against him, her body language completely relaxed. He stroked her hair, hoping she was about to fall asleep. She'd need some rest before tomorrow, and with as few nightmares as possible.

"Love you, Kurt." Her voice was sleepy, and she didn't turn her head to try to look at him.

He brushed a kiss against the back of her head, trying not to dwell on the fact that this was the last time she'd fall asleep in his arms until they took down Sandstorm. "Get some sleep, my love."

"Mmm…"

It didn't take long for her breathing to slow and even out, and she rolled over onto her stomach, as she often did when she slept. Kurt moved onto his back, keeping one arm against Jane's body, and stared up at the ceiling, the last dregs of euphoria fading to allow his helplessness and heartache back into his mind.

At least she wasn't lying awake, wondering and worrying about the mission to come. At least one of them was spared that.

Kurt was no stranger to sleepless nights, especially not since Jane and her nightmares had moved into his bed, but not knowing what the future held—except for the absence of Jane—was likely to give him worse insomnia than he'd ever had in his life.

I'll find you, Jane. No matter where Shepherd is, no matter what she's planning, this will not be the last night we spend in this bed.

It was a comforting thought. He just hoped he could actually see it through, because the alternative—Jane dead, Shepherd escaped, thousands or millions killed in a terrorist attack—was not an option.