Hehehe, this is my first Xiaolin Showdown fanfic. This has no relation to the original plot-line whatsoever. It is more a series of skits of the characters in… seriously weird and fudged upsituations. S'not s'posed to make sense :)

MEDIOCRITY AT ITS HEIGHT

A lil ditty by Death-by-Candy (Comes in fifteen colours!)

Chapter One: A Jack Thing

He was hunched over his newest invention, putting the final touches on it; a little tap there and a shake over there.

Finally he was done. He lent back, admiring his work with a proud smirk. The purple ghost flitted above his shoulder, a dubious yet pitiful look across its mask.

"Uhmmm, Jack?" It rasped over the boys shoulder. He turned his head to face her, a haughty expression plastered over his face.

"Yea?"

Purple tendrils wrung each other nervously. "Well, how exactly is this going to help us when we retrieve the next Shen-Gon-Wu? It, uh, doesn't seem very… what's the word? Hmmm, that right: it's fucked up, Jack. Jesus Christ, what in the world is wrong with you? It's a freaking pasta painting, Jack! You're going to fight four warriors with cardboard, glue and noodles! They're going to be so scared!" She rolled her… spirals.

"WHY IS THERE EMPHASIS ON MY NAME, WUYA?' Jack hollered, slipping his goggles over his eyes.

Wuya stared at him for a second, and then sighed like someone who has just seen a dead puppy and floated over to the mini-bar in the corner of Jacks lair. There was a tinkling of bottles, and, despite the fact Wuya was a ghost and couldn't touch anything, she came back from behind the bar with two shots of vodka.

Jack took one, and then turned back to his invention. It was, indeed, as Wuya had pointed out- a pasta painting, and a pretty hideous one at that.

"It could work." He shrugged. Wuya hissed.

"HOLY CRAP! It's mighty Jack and his Pasta Painting of DOOM! We surrender! We surrender, lest we be faced by their wrath!" Wuya screeched sarcastically, floating in spastic circles.

"Wuya, Wuya, Wuya," Jack said deprecatingly, "If you act like that you'll never understand the delight and joy that can come from making pasta paintings!" He took a sip from his glass and leant against his worktable. Swilling his glass, he gave Wuya a thoughtful look, who recoiled, fearing the worst.

"Wuya. I have pondered long and hard on this--"

"Five seconds." She interjected, draining her glass.

"Five seconds then," he surrendered, "Anyway, I have decided to teach you the ancient art of… pasta paintings!" He watched her face for signs of said delight and joy. None appeared.

Silence

"Pasta. Paintings." He repeated, boyish excitement barely contained within his voice.

"Yeah, I heard you." Wuya examined her empty shot glass.

Silence

"Alright then," Wuya said, "But first I'm getting refills."

END OF CHAPTER ONE

-Vomits rainbows- Hmmm... Anyway, enjoy and review, thanks! And dont forget about the kitties! Do it for the kitties!

-Death-by-Candy