Chapter 8

A/N: I know that this chapter isn't totally and completely as eventful as you probably would have liked, but it's necessary for later chapters. Don't worry, I know where it's going. Read and review! Enjoy :)

We're screwed. "Oh—Hermione, umm…well, you see,"

"I have to go," Draco whispered, rushing past Hermione.

"I don't think so," Ron pushed him back into the room.

"Let him go, Ron. Now." I demanded. Ron gave him an angered look before letting Malfoy walk past him.

Draco scurried off without a second glance. I wished he had stayed.

Hermione pushed herself past me and threw herself down onto the couch. "Well, you've got a lot of explaining to do, Harry, so I suggest you get started.

Ron, who was either angry at the same reasons Hermione was or simply too grossed out by the idea of two males kissing, chose to remain silent at Hermione's side.

I, too, remained silent. They saw what happened. What could I possibly need to explain to them? Attraction? What it's like to kiss? I mean, this is all stuff they knew…well, considering they were dating, (and attached at the hip) I hope they knew.

I cleared my throat, "Draco and I…"

"Oh," Ron said, finally speaking up, "so now it's Draco?"

I sighed, this was clearly going to take a while. "I'm not sure what, exactly, we are doing, but it is definitely more than a friendship."

"Harry," Hermione tried her reasoning with me, "What I don't understand is when their even was the slightest inkling of a friendship with him…now all of a sudden, there's what…love?"

"No," I said confidently, "No, that's…that's not it. You don't get it! You don't get him."

Hermione laughed, "No, you're right. I don't. How am I supposed to get him? How am I supposed to understand what you're doing, Harry. You've got to understand."

"No, you've got to understand! You try to tell me when I'm right, when I'm wrong, when I'm confused, when I'm unhappy, when I need time alone, but did you ever think that maybe it could be possible that I just might have my own opinions on what I think I need and want to do! You think you know me so well, Hermione, but you don't. I was gone every Monday seeing him, well not that it's been too many Mondays, but the point is, you didn't know, Hermione. For once in your life, you.don't.know."

I felt quite satisfied with my speech. I felt I had gotten my point across quite well. I was so happy that I had finally gotten that off my chest. That was until…I saw Hermione with tears in her eyes. Oh, perfect.

"Well, did it occur to you that all I keep trying to do is understand you, Harry? You never let me in."

Hermione left the room with said tears cascading down her cheeks. Ron dutifully followed, but not before he threw a dirty look my way. "I hope you're quite happy now, Harry."

Why is it every time I feel happy, I have to feel bad about this happiness? There can't be a single moment where I'm completely content. And if I were, no one really would care. When you think about it, would they write an article, "Today Harry Potter is happy for the first time throughout his entire life!" No one would read that. They'd sell nothing. Go figure.

Now, I have a choice, do I relish this happiness and ignore Hermione's sadness, or do I spend my time trying to apologize? What do you think?

I sighed, "Here goes nothing."

When I arrived at the Common Room, I found Ron sitting on the couch obviously waiting for me. I tried to walk past him. 'I'll do this tomorrow.' Too late.

"Excuse me? What the hell is your problem, Harry?"

"Look, I'm sorry about hurting her. I'll fix it. I…"

"That is NOT what this is about. I believe there's the little matter of you kissing our worst enemy. Maybe that's a little problem."

"Ron, you're not me. You can't understand my feelings. All I'm asking of you is that you stop trying to. Okay? Draco…" I couldn't pinpoint exactly what my feelings were toward Draco. Were we together? Were we friends? He had said, 'This is all', what did that even mean? I was really confused, but I decided that one thing was certain, "He means something to me. And you both will just have to accept that, alright?"

Ron sighed, "I have been doing way too much accepting lately," He turned to walk away.

"No, Ron, stop it!"

"Harry, this is way too much for me. At least, for now. I'm not mad, I'm just…quite frankly, I'm questioning your sanity. Come up to bed whenever you feel like it. Good-night."

"Good-night, Ron,"

……………………………………………………………………………………………

The next day I had to find Draco. He was my only concern at that moment. Now, if he were ever in a visible place. 'Where would Draco be?' Probably…

I decided to look in the Potions room and, sure enough, Draco was there. He was sitting alone as usual, concentration on what he was doing.

"Hey," I whispered coming to sit next to him. He didn't reply.

"Look, I'm really sorry about-- "

"It's not your fault," One thing I noticed about Draco, he never quite let people finish.

"But Draco, I promise I'll never let it happen again."

"Harry," he started walking over to the front desk to grab some more materials. "It will happen again. It will happen by somebody who is not your friend who will then spread the rumors. Do you want that to happen? Is that your goal?"

I gave a frustrated scream, "Why does it even matter? What? Will I ruin your reputation? And, tell me, why the hell are you making a potion?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Quite the change of subject. I am making a potion because it relaxes me. It calms me down." He said softly.

"And why, may I ask do you need calming down?" I started getting angry again. There really was no point in this conversation. He had nothing to worry about!

"Draco, it's not like my friends are going to do anything. That's why they're my friends. So, why…?"

"BECAUSE I'M SCARED!" He screamed as tears began to run down his face. I looked at him in confusion. "Are you happy now? Did you want me to break down, Harry? Did you want me to say it so you can prove how wonderfully brave you are?"

He slid down to the floor in hysterics, crying; his potion forgotten on the desk.

I slid down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. He leaned his head on mine and we sat like this silently for a while. Draco didn't like to talk when he was upset. It made him feel weak.

"Shh," I said softly, barely even heard, to calm him down as best as I could. It was horrible to even think it, but I liked when he cried, just so I could see if he could possibly be comforted; just to see if I could do it.

"What are you scared of, baby?" I asked while still trying to sooth him.

He sat up quickly and wiped at his eyes, "Nothing, no, forget I said anything!"

"Draco, please, just…you don't have to tell me. Just sit, please," And he did so.

We sat in silence for a while. Finally, Draco spoke up.

"What did your friends say to you?"

"Oh, well," he laughed, "I actually sort of freaked out on Hermione, but they don't understand me."

Draco shook his head, "Harry, the reason they don't understand you is because you do not give them any information."

"What? What are you, their informant? Defendant? It doesn't matter anyway because I hate when they try to butt into my life."

"They're your friends, Harry. They're trying to help you. No, I don't like them. In fact, I can hardly stand them, but you can. And you should embrace what you have because I…I really don't. At least they try to understand you. My 'friends' if you could call them that, they just ask me what to do, where to go, but if I am ever upset…forget it! Hell, if they care!"

"Draco, are you happy?"

He turned his head quickly in my direction, "What kind of question is that?"

I shrugged. I really didn't know, "Just answer,"

"It would make me quite happy if you kiss me,"

I sighed. Draco knew what I was getting at. I wanted to know how he felt about his life, but for now, that would have to do. Besides, I was getting an invitation that no man…well, perhaps no gay man could refuse. So, I'll get some more information out of the boy later…if there's time.