Author's Note: I'm 12 days into Camp NaNoWriMo for this month, and I'm starting to get fic fatigue (and the usual fatigue that comes with having ME/CFS). So I apologise if this one is a little bit boring and exposition-y. At least Patterson and Borden get to have their talk... I think the next chapter will start the whole FBI-vs-Sandstorm confrontation, but I'm not sure exactly how I'll be structuring it yet.

"Goodnight, Shepherd."

Shepherd looked up from the blueprint of SIOC that they'd been strategising with, smiling distractedly. "Sleep well."

Jane retreated upstairs, taking a deep breath and hoping her nausea would pass soon. Shepherd had told her everything Roman had already divulged, and she'd reacted in as Remi a way as possible, making sure to question Shepherd about the need for the nuclear element of the plan, and acting as though Shepherd was gradually able to convince her. Shepherd had told her that Remi had approved of the plan before she'd taken the ZIP, and Jane had been impressed by how well she'd been able to lie. Maybe Shepherd had convinced herself it was the truth.

The idea of facilitating Aurora's raid on SIOC still felt like a betrayal of everything Jane stood for these days, but she'd made sure to be as focused as she could during the meeting, suggesting tactics and the division of forces that would genuinely help Shepherd gain a strategic advantage on an unaware group of foes. She'd never seen Shepherd so pleased with her, which only made her feel queasier.

She could only hope that having advance warning would help the agents and staff of SIOC retain the upper hand, because if she blew her cover now, Shepherd would completely change her plans. All of Roman's intel would become useless to the FBI, and Jane herself would be dead.

Getting ready for bed took only a few minutes. After that, Jane stood at the window, gazing up at the brightly shining moon. Only a week to go. After that, we can all stop holding our breath. And maybe we'll even get to go on living our lives.

Wonder if Kurt and Roman are getting along.

She turned her back on the window and got into bed, sighing. The last thing she felt like doing was sleeping, but waiting up for Roman might have set off alarm bells with Shepherd. Unwilling to risk having her mother notice a light on through a crack under the door, she lay in the dark, attempting to reassure herself.

There's still time to stop phase two. Thank god Roman's on our side. If he hadn't been, and I'd had to run, we'd only have known about the SIOC part of the plan. Unless the team already broke Borden. God, I hate not knowing what's going on back there. I just want to go home.

At least now I have something to distract me from thinking about that poor woman I killed. Maybe when this is over, I can find her family and make sure they have everything they need. Everything except for her, I mean.

So much for being distracted.

Her thoughts circled endlessly until Roman returned, less than an hour later. She heard him reporting to Shepherd about the people he'd been meeting—something about procuring explosives, probably for some of Aurora's cells elsewhere—then getting ready for bed in the bathroom down the hall, before the door to the bedroom quietly opened.

Her eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness that she could see him moving across the room, glancing at her bed as though trying to ascertain whether or not she was asleep. She sat up, keeping her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm awake. How'd it go?"

"Everything went as planned," he said quietly, getting into his own bed. "I got in just before Weller got home. The phrase you told me to say got him to stop pointing a gun at my head, so thank you for that."

I bet the fact that you didn't look completely disgusted as you said it helped, too, Jane thought, unable to help but be amused. Hopefully, her brother would never ask her to explain what 'starting points for new memories' actually meant.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

"He looks a little rough. Tired, mostly, and worried about you. But he's not injured or anything." Roman lay down, pillowing his arms behind his head. "I gave him your letter, told him what he needed to know. He'll take it from here, and his people will back us up when it's time."

Jane closed her eyes, taking a moment to soak in the relief. Kurt was okay, and he knew Shepherd's plans. Now, even if something happened to her, at least she'd done all she could to warn them.

"Thank you so much, Roman," she whispered. "Did he offer you immunity?"

"Yeah. First thing he did after reading your letter." Roman sighed. "It feels wrong, betraying Shepherd. But it's the right thing to do, I guess."

"You can't unlearn a lifetime of obedience in one day," Jane reassured him. "At least, not without taking some ZIP. But it'll get easier. She won't always have this hold on you."

For a moment, he was quiet. Then he said, "Weller told me to tell you…that you already know what he wants to tell you."

I love you. I miss you. Come home and marry me.

Jane smiled into the darkness. "Yeah. I already know. Thank you."

"It's serious between you, then?"

Her smile grew a little bittersweet. "Yeah. I didn't plan for it to be. Actually, when he found out I wasn't Taylor Shaw, I was pretty sure we'd never be friends again, let alone anything else. We both lied, both kept secrets. But what's between us was too strong for it to drive us apart, I guess."

"I don't know him too well yet, but he's gotta be better than Oscar," Roman said wryly.

Jane couldn't help but laugh. "You know I'm not gonna base my relationships on whether or not you approve of the guy, right?"

There was a hint of a smile in Roman's voice now. "Yeah. But I'm still gonna be honest about what I think." After a moment, he sobered. "It was you, right? You killed Oscar?"

Remembering the shock on her ex-fiancé's face when she'd skewered him with the scythe, Jane swallowed hard. "Yeah. He tried to erase my memory a second time, so he wouldn't have to tell Shepherd he'd screwed up and lost my trust."

"What?" Roman sat bolt upright, the sudden rage in his voice taking Jane aback. "That fucking coward. If he were still alive, I'd kill him myself."

"I think he wanted his Remi back, just like you did, and he knew I'd never trust him again if I remembered he'd killed Mayfair. I'm not excusing what he wanted to do. It makes me feel sick just thinking about nearly forgetting everything a second time. But he loved the old Remi. It's hard not to feel bad for him, in a way."

"Yeah, well, I for one won't miss him." Roman shook his head. "Wait. Did you let Cade escape on purpose, because you felt bad that you framed him?"

"He went through hell because of me. He was informing on Aurora to the NSA—Shepherd was right about that—but he didn't kill Oscar, no matter how much he might have wanted to. Shepherd was trying to get him to admit to something he didn't do, and that was my fault. I had to help."

"Well, you managed that," Roman said, with grudging respect. "We lost his trail pretty quickly. But you can't tell me that panic attack was faked."

Remembering the way she'd clung to him and let her PTSD take over, sending herself spiralling into true panic, Jane shook her head. "No. I was already most of the way there, just from seeing Cade like that, and having to torture him."

Roman sighed. "You could have compromised your entire mission."

"But my conscience is clearer. Or it was, until…"

Please, please don't…

Jane shut the door on the memory as best she could, but the guilt remained.

"Better one life lost, and your cover safe, than screwing up the mission and having millions die later," Roman said.

She knew he was trying to reassure her, but his words were so similar to the way Nas had berated her for failing to kill Jeffrey Kantor. The words that had come after that were loud in her memory. Yes, she is a killer! That's why they want her, and that's why we sent her there. You do whatever you have to do to maintain your cover.

Maybe Nas had come to understand her better since then, but her judgment of Jane still hurt, even now. She felt more like a killer now than ever.

"Hey. It's okay," Roman said, pulling her back out of her Möbius strip of guilt. "We're finishing this. Soon. Just hang in there, sis."

Sensing his worry, Jane pulled herself out of her melancholy. "It really does make me feel better to know my team are on this now. Thank you, Roman."

"Yeah." It was impossible to read Roman's quiet response. "I'm gonna get some sleep now. Goodnight."

"Night," Jane murmured back, and lay down again, attempting to calm herself enough to get a little sleep, herself.

Kurt is safe, and he knows what's coming. That's what you've wanted this whole time.

But I miss him so much. I don't know if Roman realises yet just how important Kurt is to me. I hope he never makes me choose between them, because I don't even know which side I'd end up on.

When Kurt walked into Zero Division the next morning, Nas and Patterson were already there. Nas looked more energetic and enthusiastic than he'd seen her in months, and he had to remind himself just how invested she was in bringing Sandstorm down.

Patterson, by contrast, looked pale and resolute. As Kurt approached, she stood up. "I'm ready. Let's do this."

He put his hands on her shoulders, looking down into her face with concern. "I'm sorry. I know we're asking a lot—"

"No, you're not." Patterson attempted a smile. "I've been avoiding doing this for too long. I knew I'd have to at some point, but I let myself keep putting it off. We need to have a conversation, for the sake of closure, at least…and now I guess some good will come of it, too, if we can get answers."

"Even so," he said gently, "I appreciate it. Let's wait for everyone to get here, first. I want to make sure everyone's had chance to read their emails, so we're all on the same page."

"Good work last night," Nas said, as Patterson nodded and sat back down. "It's good to know Jane's safe, and even better to know what Sandstorm's planning. Are you sure Roman's not luring us into a trap, somehow?"

Kurt poured himself some coffee. "Positive. Jane gave him a code phrase to give to me, something I'd know she'd never give up under duress. She hasn't been made—at least, not by anyone but Roman."

"And we're sure Jane hasn't been turned?" Nas asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "There is no way Jane would turn again. Not for anything, in my opinion—but especially not to help execute a nuclear attack, which we know is real, because Borden already mentioned it."

"Just making sure you're thinking clearly," Nas said.

"Why don't you worry about your own objectivity for a change?" Kurt asked, not raising his voice, but not bothering to hide his irritation. "We all know how badly you want this case closed. You've been bugging Jane's therapy sessions, putting her in danger by planting extra trackers on her without telling the rest of us, telling her to kill people to maintain her cover—which now she has, by the way. I hope you feel good about that, because I know Jane doesn't."

Nas seemed taken aback. "That's a bit unfair. Of course I don't—"

"Guys," Patterson interjected wearily, "just take a breath, okay? We're all stressing out about the case."

Kurt held Nas' stare for a few moments more, then turned to his laptop.

A minute later, Zapata walked in, a little breathless. "I can't believe we got all this intel overnight. What's the plan?"

"We're just waiting on Reade," Nas said, looking up from the notes she was scribbling down. "Then we'll make sure we know exactly what we need before Patterson goes in."

"I saw him come into the locker room as I was leaving it. He'll be here in a moment." Zapata touched Patterson on the shoulder. "You good?"

Patterson gave her a wan smile. "I'll cope."

"How about you, Weller?" Zapata sat down, giving him a quick once-over. "You look like you might actually have slept last night."

"Yeah. Knowing is better than not knowing, even if the thing you've learned about is a nuclear attack and a direct attack on your place of work." Kurt shrugged. "I wouldn't say I slept great, but…better than I have been."

"And it's good to know Jane's safe. Or at least, as safe as she can be." Tasha gave him a knowing smile.

"Hey, what did I miss?" Reade joined them, a little breathless.

"Now we're all here," Nas said, "has everyone read the email from Weller, from last night?"

There were nods all around.

"Thoughts?" Kurt asked, looking around at his people.

"Besides 'if we can't stop this in a week, we're all gonna die, and so's everyone we care about?" Reade said.

"Look on the bright side; at least we've got a week, not a day. That puts us way ahead of our usual game, right?" Tasha shrugged. "I'll freak out if we don't have a plan by the weekend, but until then…"

"Good news and bad news on the DHS server." Whereas the others were focused on their emotions—a valid response, given the extreme threat—Patterson was all business. "Yes, if they revoke my access, it will leave Sandstorm unable to carry out their plan. But on the other hand, if they have someone inside Homeland Security who can see who has access, that's gonna ring alarm bells with Shepherd. We know she doesn't know anyone who actually has the right permissions, because they wouldn't need my system if they did, but since they learned that I do have access, they'll probably double check I still have it before the SIOC attack. So I say we'll have to wait until the attack starts, then get my access revoked."

"Isn't that a little risky?" Reade asked. "What if you can't get the access cut off in time?"

"No less risky than cutting my access now, and Shepherd realising we know her plan. If she changes anything, we're in the dark again. Plus, if she thinks she might have a leak, she's gonna look straight at Jane."

"Fair point," Reade conceded.

They discussed the plan a little, and what they could do to prepare for it without tipping their hand. Then, reluctantly, Kurt turned to Patterson. "You ready?"

Patterson nodded. "I'll try to keep him on topic for as long as I can. I watched the video feed from yesterday already, so, uh… Do you guys trust me to have a private conversation with him afterwards?"

Predictably, only Nas looked uncertain.

"If I can tell him I'm able to give him a private conversation after he's answered all of our questions, he might stick to business more," Patterson elaborated.

Sighing, Nas nodded. "I suppose if the rest of you think it's okay, I'll go along with that."

"Okay. You can keep the video feed, just turn off the audio when I ask."

After ensuring Patterson wouldn't leave any important questions out, Kurt gestured towards the door to the cell's observation area. "He's all yours."

"If he messes you around, just come back out," Nas said. "We can try again later."

"If he won't play ball, threaten his ass with a black site," Zapata suggested, scowling.

"Good luck, Patterson," Reade said, quietly supportive.

Patterson took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."

As she let herself into the room, the rest of the team went over to the monitors, and Nas enabled the sound on the live feed.

"Mr. Thornton," Patterson said, as Borden got up from the bed, his eyes fixed on her.

"You came," he said. "I wasn't sure if… I thought Agent Weller might be telling me what I wanted to hear."

"I'm here. But like Weller said yesterday, we stick to business first, personal issues later."

Borden looked like a kicked puppy. "Yes. But I'd like to say… It's good to see you."

Patterson passed over the remark with no visible reaction. "Last night, Weller had a visit from Roman Briggs. Jane has managed to turn him, so we know about the attack on SIOC and the planned nuclear strike in DC, and about the Truman Protocol."

"In that case, you probably know everything I do," Borden said. "I'm not surprised Jane managed to turn Roman. He was quite vocal about his opposition to Shepherd's newer plans when she first made them."

"Roman doesn't know where the nuclear material Shepherd will be using is stored. He only knows it's in the city. We were hoping you might be able to tell us."

"Of course."

"Oh, of course, Patterson," Zapata said sarcastically. "Anything for you, Patterson."

"Quiet, please," Nas said, her voice mild.

"You remember I went to Arizona for a few days, while your team were in Bulgaria? I, um, wasn't actually in Arizona. I was in Washington, DC, taking receipt of the nuclear material and hiding it."

"Okay," Patterson said, shifting in her seat. "Where did you hide it?"

"In a lead-lined ambulance."

Kurt exchanged glances with Nas. Lead would hide radioactivity for any drone scans they carried out to locate the nuclear material. Shepherd had left nothing to chance.

"Where's the ambulance?" Patterson asked, her tone abrupt. "Is it being monitored? If we take the nuclear material, will Jane's cover be compromised?"

Borden sighed. "And you can promise me full immunity for this?"

"If we can get hold of the material and stop phase two, then yeah."

He looked a little forlorn. "I never meant to go down this path, you know. I just wanted justice after my wife's death."

Patterson straightened in her chair, her voice taking on a hard edge. "Can we stay on topic, please? The ambulance. Where can we find it?"

Borden was quiet a moment, rubbing his left ring finger, where a ring must once have been. "It's parked in the garage of a private home, in the Capitol Hill residential area. At least four of our people are guarding it, and if you raid it, their first priority will be to get word to Shepherd. If Shepherd doesn't hear from them every evening between now and the attack, she'll know something's happened, so I wouldn't advise moving in until you have her in custody."

Patterson glanced up at one of the cameras monitoring the cell, then said, "Give me the address."

Borden did, and Reade immediately moved off to call up satellite imagery of the neighbourhood.

"Where did Shepherd get the material?" Patterson asked.

"Bangkok. She brought it back over by boat, and her contacts in California took receipt of it there, and drove it cross-country to DC. I procured the ambulance there, ensured it was lined with enough lead to hide the presence of radioactivity, then oversaw the transfer of the material. I then drove the ambulance to its current position, once the cargo had been transferred." Borden's voice was heavy. Whether it was because he was actually feeling guilty, or because he was playing a part for Patterson, Kurt had no idea.

If it had been Jane telling him she'd done these things, Kurt would have been unable to help but demand where the hell her conscience had been. Patterson, on the other hand, gave no sign that she was losing her cool.

"Roman mentioned a guided missile, launched from a satellite to hit the nuclear material. I assume there's a beacon in the ambulance somewhere, and if we destroy it, the missile will have nothing to aim for?"

"I would assume so. The beacon was on top of the dashboard of the ambulance when I last saw it. If it's been moved since then, it could be anywhere." Borden paced back to his bed and sat down. "Has Roman mentioned whose satellite Shepherd will be using?"

"One of Zac Riley's; we know. Do you have any other information for us?" Patterson asked.

"Now that Roman has turned on Shepherd, I doubt it. He's told you about the attack on SIOC?"

"That she's put together a mock version of our floor layout using intel you were feeding her, so Jane can drill her people on the best way to attack us? Yes," Patterson said coldly. "Roman mentioned it. No wonder you're cooperating—even if we're too far underground for nuclear fallout to reach you here, Shepherd planning to bring down the entire building must be making you pretty nervous right about now."

"If you'd met Shepherd, you'd understand that I had no choice—" Borden began.

"Irrelevant. Let's move on."

Kurt fought a smile, despite himself. Patterson was holding her own, and then some. He was so damn proud of her.

"Apart from the attack on SIOC—as a way to bring down federal buildings around the country in a coordinated strike—and the nuclear attack we've already discussed, can you think of anything else we should know about? Any need-to-know missions Roman wasn't told about?"

"Not that I can think of, no." Borden's shoulders slumped. "I hope what I gave you was enough. It's truly all I have to bargain with."

Patterson looked up at the camera. "Weller? Could you give us some privacy, please?"

Honouring his word, Kurt reached over and killed the audio feed, including the recording feature. On the screen, he saw Patterson focus on Borden again, her demeanour icy. He lip-read her next words clearly. "Five minutes. Then I'm leaving."

Out of respect for Patterson, Kurt stepped away from the screens, and Zapata followed him over to Reade. Only Nas remained where she was, and he left her there, knowing Patterson had been lucky to get her to concede to a period of time without audio monitoring. She'd want to keep an eye on the video feed until the recording function was restored.

"Reade, where are we at?" he asked.

A few minutes later, as they debated the merits of attempting to switch Shepherd's beacon for one that looked identical, but wouldn't attract Riley's missile, Patterson quietly returned to the room. Her eyes were reddened from crying, but she was otherwise composed. She looked as weary as Kurt felt.

He put a supportive hand on her shoulder. "You did great, Patterson. Thank you."

She gave a forlorn shrug. "Let me know if you have follow-up questions. I'm pretty sure he'll insist it has to be me who asks them."

"You need to talk about it?" Zapata asked quietly.

"Not right now. But thank you for worrying about me, guys." She squared her shoulders and looked at the map of the neighbourhood Reade had up on his screen. "This is where the ambulance is?"

"Yeah." Reade glanced up at her. "Any thoughts on the beacon? We were thinking maybe we could replace it."

"They come in a few different shapes and sizes. If Borden can narrow it down for us, maybe we could try, but we'd have to be absolutely sure we wouldn't compromise Jane's cover in the process."

On that, Kurt was in complete agreement. "We'll need to do some recon, figure out their security. Maybe Borden can help us with that, too." He shot Patterson an apologetic look.

"Sure." Patterson shrugged. "But I think he's gonna need a few hours to recover."

"Yeah? Why's that?" Kurt asked, glancing towards the monitors.

"I was going to ask," Nas said, "but I thought it might not be appropriate. If you're comfortable answering, what exactly did you say to him that hit him that hard?"

Frowning, Zapata went over to the screens showing the cell's video feed. "Oh, my god—he's sobbing like a child. What did you say to him?"

Kurt's eyebrows rose. That, he hadn't seen coming.

Patterson fidgeted, her gaze dropping to the floor. "I, uh… I told him the truth about the drone strikes. That Shepherd was responsible for the whistleblowing on Daylight, which led to Orion being shut down, and the military then trying to take out Remi. Turns out, Borden had no idea he's been working for the people who indirectly led to his wife's death this whole time."

When you put it that way, it's hard not to feel a little sorry for him. But it took him until now to speak up about a nuclear threat he's known about for almost as long as we've been working with him. That dials back the sympathy factor a lot.

"Hmm. That could work in our favour. Nice job," Nas said.

"Not that he didn't deserve it, but remind me never to piss you off, Patterson." Reade shook his head and turned back to his screen.

"That's the perfect revenge for what he did to you," Zapata said, a note of approval in her voice.

"How about you, Patterson? Do you need to take a break?" Kurt asked, already knowing the answer. If she hadn't taken the time to mourn David, or to adjust to the news of Borden's betrayal, she'd be resistant to it now.

"I'll rest when we've taken down Sandstorm." Patterson straightened, determined. "A week might seem like a long time now, but in a few days it's gonna seem a hell of a lot shorter. I'll see if I can get Bradley Dynamics to budge on releasing the chip code to us—the stuff on the chip Jane and Roman stole yesterday. We know Sandstorm doesn't have any moles left there, since Roman killed Kantor, and he and Jane had to go in themselves to get the chip. It won't compromise Jane's cover to request more information."

"Let's get started, then." As everyone began to disperse to their tasks, Kurt said, "Nas, can I grab you for a second?"

"What's on your mind?" Nas looked up at him expectantly, if a little guardedly.

Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."

She shrugged. "Don't worry about it. We're all stressed."

"I want to get your opinion. I'm starting to think I made the wrong call, when I was strategising with Roman last night. Maybe we should take Shepherd's compound before she can start anything, rather than waiting for her attack on us. If we end up not being able to touch the nuclear material without compromising Jane's cover…"

Nas sat on the edge of her desk. "And you're questioning whether it's your instincts as an agent or your instincts as Jane's lover that's leading you to this?"

"A little. Yeah." This case had gotten personal the second he'd read his own name on Jane's back, the night she'd been found. He had only gotten more and more deeply entrenched in it since then, to the point where he was no longer sure he trusted his own judgment—and he hated that. The sooner he and Jane could work cases with no ties to Sandstorm, the better.

Nas nodded slowly, taking a breath while she mulled it over. "There are merits to both approaches. Moving in on Sandstorm now, at the compound, would be safer for Jane, if we timed it right. But I'm sure you can also see the problems with that approach."

"Whether Shepherd will even be there. What might happen if she's already completed the missile preparations, and she gets Riley to launch it as soon as she sees us coming." Kurt wished he didn't feel so helpless. On any other mission, his decisiveness would never have faltered, but now…

Nas gave him a sympathetic smile. "I know you're worried about Jane. But she's lasted this long. Another week, and it'll all be over, one way or another."

So reassuring. Thanks, Nas.

"Sticking to the original plan has its risks, too," he pointed out. "If we try to replace the beacon, we risk tipping Sandstorm off. If we disable Patterson's DHS server access now, we risk tipping them off, but if we leave it until the Sandstorm raid on SIOC, that means Shepherd could potentially exploit it before we can cut it."

"True. But if we wait for the attack, we can get Parker, and he sounds like Shepherd's second-in-command these days. At least, the second-in-command after her children, who've secretly turned against her. He could do a lot of damage further down the line, if we lose him. Another advantage to waiting is that we can mobilise local forces to round up Shepherd's people at all the targeted sites around the country."

Kurt slumped. "And if we took Shepherd down now, those cells would just scatter, or find a new leader to come back later."

"Trust in Jane," Nas said, putting a hand on his arm. "She's got military training, and she's had over a month to scope out the situation at the compound. And now she has Roman to watch out for her, so she's not unsupported."

But I'm not there. I can't protect her.

"Yeah," he said, attempting a smile that immediately fell flat. "We should get to work."