Alright everyone, this is a CRACK fic. Kai is MY OWN OC. So don't review saying "Who's Kai? Is she Sai's sister?"
No. She's not.
I don't own Naruto, yada yada yada.
WARNINGS: Angsty Sasuke, Pimplicious Naruto, Langauge, character-bashing.
On with thy story.
Kai's eyebrows twitched, hugging the covers closer to her.
She was confused,shocked, and about to break into histerics.
--
" Oh.My.God. Shikamaru, let's go buy...SHOES!" Chouji yelled, jumping for joy.
"Shoes are boring Chouji...let's buy..Yugioh Cards!"
"Why? Why me?" Shikamaru asked himself, sniffing lightly.
"MAGICAL DUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!"
"What the fuck?"
"EXACTLY!" Lee ran off.
"I was so like, oh my god, I totally fucking love Sasuke, and he was totally all like, I love you too! He's so miiiiiiiiiiiiiine!" Amy ran down the street screaming.
"WHY? WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME NARUTO! WHY!" Sasuke yelled, falling to his knees.
"Shut up,bitch. Get me a fucking sandwhich. And you, Pink-whore, pay up!" He ordered around.
"Yes, Great Pimp-sama!" Sakura bowed, reaching into her bra pulling out a couple fifties and a hundred or two.
"That's all,bitches. MEETING FUCKING AJOURNED,YO!" Naruto yelled, counting his money.
"I think I want to fuck this candle.." Summer,a random chick, walked by holding a candle.
Tenten shrugged.
"You want to fuck a candle? Is that actually possible?"
"Well, you see, I have this theory. If X times the Y factor equals E, then how much wood could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood, plus four." Summer stated, rubbing her chin and looking into the distance as if there were actually some secret intelligence telling her what to say.
Tenten backed away slowly.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" she yelled, running off.
"What an odd girl." Summer shook her head, walking away with her special candle.
"And then! I will kill THAT MAN! AND AFTER I KILL THAT MAN, I WILL FINALLY AVENGE MY CLAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Sasuke yelled, doing angsty poses in-front of a group of little kids.
"Dude,where's my ramen?" Naruto passed by.
"Ah! Great Pimp-sama! Will you do me a favor and give me a good fuck?" Temari yelled.
"No! Fuck ME Great Pimp-sama!" Ino yelled.
"Girls Girls, I can fuck both of you...at the same time." Naruto stated.
"Oh! Great Pimp-sama, you're the smartest!" They latched onto either arm,skipping away to Naruto's house.
"That's all for now folks! Hehehe!" Mickey Mouse waved, the looney tunes tunnel closing in on the scene.
"Damn, i'm SEXY. LET'S DISCO!" Gaara yelled before the tunnel closed.
Kai never thought of them the same way again.