Chapter 18 - Where The Customer Is Always Right

Citadel Newsnet - IndenturTek announced that it would no longer be conducting any business on the space station Omega, citing reports of abuse and cases where its contract workers have gone missing. "We maintain strict standards to ensure the health and safety of the sapients of all species who sign our labor contracts. Under Cerberus, safety standards on Omega have declined precipitously. Therefore, we are indefinitely suspending any business relating to the station. Any IndenturTek workers who are still on Omega are hereby released from their contracts without penalty," the company said. The Indentured Servitude Market rose two points on the news. Some industry analysts said the announcement would cost the company a lucrative market while others said it was solid PR move to counter claims by the Council that long-term indentured servitude contracts are a form of slavery. - Emily Wong reporting

The salarian merchant produced his key card, opened the door to his shop and flipped over the wooden sign hanging on the door so that it announced "Yes, We're Open!"

The sign was a silly bit of decoration. Even humans, who had created this simple form of advertisement, stopped using them centuries ago. But when the merchant saw a picture of one in a human history book he found them delightful and hand-made one for himself. Yes, customers could just use the Citadel VI program Avina to tell them what local stores were currently open, but he loved the idea of people spotting the small piece of painted wood hanging against the door window and realizing from that that Morlan's Famous Shoppe™ was open for business.

The merchant was still booting up the holographic interface for the store's kiosk when the sign drew in his first customer of the day. It was another salarian, a grey-skinned fellow with a nervous manner who kept looking over his shoulder.

"Hello! Welcome to Morlan's Famous Shoppe™! You want many good supplies, yes?" the merchant cheerfully inquired.

The customer said nothing. Instead he pulled up his own omni-tool and began scanning. He first ran it over the merchant, then the counter and kiosk, and finally across the rest of the store. Morlan patiently waited throughout, the smile never vanishing from his face.

"We have all of the latest upgrades available for omni-tool technology," the merchant announced.

A good 30 more seconds passed before the prospective customer finished scanning and turned off his omni-tool. "Yes, I would like to take a look at them," he replied.

Morlan pulled up a special interactive vid screen display showing off all of the various upgrades his store had on offer. The customer began looking through them one-by-one, leaning into the screen and closely examining the technical specs for each upgrade.

"You're not going to ask why I did the scanning?" the customer inquired.

The merchant smiled and shook his head no. "At Morlan's Famous Shoppe™ the customer is always right!" he declared. "Is there anything else you might want to look at?"

Without looking up, the customer produced a datapad and handed it to Morlan. "Here is a list of the other 8 items that I require. You will go into your back area and procure the items one at a time. You will bring each item to me and allow me to scan it. If the scan is clean, I will purchase the item, then place it in this code-locked container," he explained, producing a box and placing it on the counter. "If at any point you do something to obscure my view of the container, there will be no further sales and I will demand full and immediate refunds on all previously purchased items. Are we clear?" the customer asked, his tone paranoid and edgy.

"Perfectly," Morlan replied, his voice as chipper as before. "I'll get right on it," he said, then disappeared into the back of his store.

Some of the items were rare and Morlan had to search through some dusty corners of his back room to find them. After eight trips and a solid hour of searching, Morlan managed to find all of the items. After the customer scanned the eighth and final one, he nodded, placed it in the box and gave Morlan his credit chit.

"Have you settled on an omni-tool upgrade?" the merchant helpfully asked. The customer pointed to one on the view screen and the merchant produced it from behind the counter, ringing that up on the credit chit as well. "Will there be anything else, Mr… Olo Stunn?" he said, reading the salarian's name from the chit.

Stunn stared at Morlan. "You're not going to ask any questions about how I insisted we conduct business?"

Morlan smiled and shook his head "no."

"Why not?" the customer asked, his tone growing even more suspicious.

The merchant continued to smile. "At Morlan's Famous Shoppe™ the customer is always right!" he reiterated, adding, "Customers who make several purchases are even more right!"

Stunn narrowed his eyes and leaned in towards the merchant. "What are you attempting to hide by acting so casual, hmmm?"

"There is nothing to hide," the merchant cheerfully replied. "In fact, I would very much like for you to relate the story of our interactions to anyone else you may know. It would be a most effective form of advertisement for Morlan's Famous Shoppe™ if people who know you and your… quirks, shall we say, were told of the level of courteous service that you received."

The customer waved an accusing finger at the merchant. "I don't buy it! You're really with the Special Tasks Group, aren't you? Admit it!"

Morlan's smile remained firmly in place as he shook his head. "No, but if you are acquainted with anyone at that organization, please tell them that Morlan's Famous Shoppe™ will offer an additional 2% off of the quoted price by any of our competitors on bulk purchases."

"You expect me to believe that the STG is not watching human journalist Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani? The one investigating the Blasto vid? And that it would have no interest in a clandestine meeting between her and Olo Stunn, the editor for the Blasto vid series?!" Stunn shot back, his voice rising as he spoke. "And that it would not care at all that that editor purchased precisely the tech needed to determine if al-Jilani is in fact a secret double-agent for the STG?! How dumb do you think I am?!"

The merchant continued grinning. "At Morlan's Famous Shoppe™ we always believe the customer is highly intelligent! After all, you have picked the store with the best prices on all of the items that you require and the only place where you can receive our signature customer service!"

Stunn stared at Morlan's smiling face for a few seconds, then snapped shut the box containing the items he purchased and marched out of the store.

It was shortly before noon when the human mercenary entered the store. He was a rough-looking older fellow with heavily-tattooed arms, a scarred face and a glassy right eye. He was in a noticeably grouchy mood but that did not deter the store owner from greeting a potential new customer with his usual good cheer.

"Hello, welcome to Morlan's Famous Shoppe™! You want many good supplies, yes?" the proprietor asked.

The mercenary waved the question away. "Nah, I'm jus' looking fer one thing: a cooling system compatible with a 2158 model Alliance Navy issue Avenger rifle. This is the third store I've been to in a row searching fer one of the bloody things. Ya got one in the back, right?"

Morlan twitched slightly at the request. "My apologies, human. I'm afraid we don't have that particular tech in stock at the moment. We could order it for you and have it available in..." Morlan tapped away at his desk monitor for a few seconds and replied, "... two weeks. I can knock, say, 8% off of the list price to make up for the delay. Should I go ahead and place an order?"

The human rolled his one good eye. "Bloody hell! This place is sold out too?! Of all the goddamn rotten luck," the mercenary growled. He then cast a skeptical look at the owner. "Wait, how do ya even know that yer completely sold out with even looking in yer back room?" he demanded to know.

Morlan wrung his hands. "The fact of the matter, human, is that a turian came in earlier this morning and purchased all of our available stock of that specific component."

The mercenary shook his head. "Gotta be the same one that bought up all of the stock in the two other stores I visited! Damn bird's always one step ahead of me..." he loudly muttered.

"In the bird's defense, she had no idea that someone else was looking to buy the same part," announced a voice to the mercenary's right. The merc spun around and spotted a female turian standing near a shelf of items. Her arms were crossed and her expression was stern at first but it lightened into a slightly cocky grin as she saw the human's face. "After all, that design for the Avenger rifle was discontinued 12 years ago and it has been more than two years since the industry as a whole switched over to thermal clips instead of using in-weapon cooling tech. So, as far as the bird would have known, nobody else would have wanted that outdated technology."

The human waved an angry finger at the turian and appeared to be on the verge of launching into a sharp retort when he evidently thought better of it and held his tongue. He instead took a breath and calmly replied. "Okay, look, I'm sorry about the 'bird,' crack. Honest... It's just that this is the third time today you've beaten me to the punch on getting one of those damned things. It's not fer myself, ya see. It's fer my girl, Jessie. She told me she needs some repairs done, and..."

The turian put her hand to her mandible and let out a soft, "Oh..." Her attitude lost its cockiness and her tone became earnest. "I'm... sorry, human. Are you and this Jessie... close?"

The mercenary nodded. "Been together fer 30-odd years, I guess it is. She was there with me through some of the toughest contracts I've ever done. Helluva gal. Owe my life to her more times than I can count. Been working on a special gift fer her. Something hand-crafted and unique, so she'll know how special she is to me, ya know? That's why I need a new cooling tech attachment. It's only part I'm missing, ya understand? C'mon, do ya really need every last goddamn one on the Citadel?"

The turian shrugged slightly. "I am afraid I do, human. They're for the battle scenes in the Blasto vid. Most C-Sec officers still used the old cooling tech during the geth invasion, but we're short on prop rifles that mimic that. I'm the lead cinematographer and we have already had to scrap some footage that looked terrible because we tried to get away with using other types of prop rifles."

"But ya can't spare even one?" the human plaintively asked. "Can't we work something out?"

The turian sadly shook her head. "I honestly doubt that, human. There's nothing else you could get your... girlfriend as a gift?"

The human waved the comment away. "No, no, no. That won't work. I've already installed the retrofit on Jessie, understand? It worked great initially but I messed up the fluid levels and that caused the existing cooling tech to break. I've gotten the levels all proper now, so once I replace the cooling tech, not only will Jessie be working as good as new again, but she'll be the only Avenger rifle ever that uses single-malt whiskey instead of H2O in the cooling mechanism!"

The turian's mandibles flared and her expression switched to one of confusion. "Jessie is... a gun?" she asked, dumbfounded. "But I assumed... And, wait, how can you possibly use a combustible liquid like alcohol in a rifle's cooling mechanism anyway?! The heat from the gun would ignite it!"

The mercenary broke into a grin. "Ah! You'd think that, yeah! But if one of yer former crewmates was an especially crafty salarian scientist, it's possible that some afternoon while he's bored the mad bastard'll whip up some diabolically complicated process that will let you use whiskey in a cooling system like it was ordinary water and then give ya the schematic. And, trust me, yer not gonna wanna pass up an opportunity like that! So I modified Jesse to run on triple-distilled 45 year-old scotch whiskey. I figured I owed it to the ol' girl fer all of the good times she's shown me."

The revelation caused the turian to slowly revert to her original, cockier attitude. "I see, human. Yes, that does make things different..." she replied and began thoughtfully scratching her chin and mandibles. "We might be able to work something out after all. That is, I could be persuaded to give you one of the devices and possibly even a spare or two, if you could just help me out with a side project of my own."

"I'm listening," the human declared.

The turian woman reached out her hand and lightly ran her talons along the deep scars gouging the human's right cheek. The mercenary was puzzled by the action but didn't flinch. "Your face is... quite extraordinary, human," the turian declared. "Would-would you allow me to photograph you?"

"Yer kidding!" the human scoffed. "My mug is so ugly it'll crack yer camera lens for sure!"

The turian recoiled in shock at the assertion. "No!" she exclaimed. "No, no, no... Nothing of the sort! Your face is... What is the human phrase? 'Ruggedly handsome'? No! Beyond even that! You have a profile that looks like it was carved from solid granite. Unyielding. Indomitable. Humanity's defiant spirit personified. I should- No! I must immortalize it by including your portrait in my book."

"If... ya say so..." muttered the human, who was gradually warming to the idea. "You've been working on this photography project for a while, then?"

The turian shook her head. "No, I just thought it up just now! But I find the the idea of photographing you very exciting. I work during the days so we'd have to do it... late in the evening," she explained, then added, "If Jessie is the main... female in your life and she's not too jealous, then that shouldn't be a problem... should it?"

"Nah, she's not the jealous type," the mercenary replied with a chuckle. "She'll be happy just to be working properly and be swimming in single-malt! Even so, I'm currently working a 24/7 gig so I don't have much in the way of free time, ya see? But I do have a different ex-crewmate and buddy who said she could fill in fer me from time to time. So, yeah, this photography thing might be doable." The human brought up his omni-tool. "I gotta get back to work, but, here, I'll give ya my contact info. What's yer name, anyway?"

"Savara Korek," replied the turian, who was now slowly looking the mercenary up and down. "Thank you. I must say, I find your tattoos and overall physique intriguing as well, Mr...?"

"Massani. Zaeed Massani," the mercenary replied. He chuckled again as he hit 'send' on his omni-tool. "Me, a model? Who'd a thunk it? And it all happened because I wanted to do something nice fer Jessie. She's always been looking out fer me, ya know?"

Massani and Korek exited the shop together, the turian animatedly explaining her ideas for how she would like to photograph the human as they walked.

"Come back any time!" shouted Morlan as the pair left.

It was about an hour past noon when the two salarians entered the store.

"Hello, welcome to Morlan's Famous Shoppe™! You want many good supplies, yes?" the owner asked.

The older salarian of the two looked around to confirm that store was currently empty of other customers. Once he had determined they were indeed alone he saluted the owner. "Major Kirrahe, 3rd Infiltration Regiment, Special Tasks Group. I believe our mutual employer told you to expect us?" he announced.

The proprietor saluted back. "Special Operative Morlan, STG Field Logistics and Procurement. I have the requested materials packaged and ready. There was a slight complication however."

Kirrahe grumbled. "Yes, what is it?"

The owner cleared his throat. "Rest assured, I have each item and they're all perfectly functional. In order to avoid tracking by Citadel Security, the items were packaged and labeled as restaurant condiments. The STG provided us field logistics operatives with some cutting-edge technology to fool the C-Sec sensors. The problem is there's apparently no way to undo the switch once the disguise technology is employed."

Kirrahe crossed his arms and stared at the proprietor. "So, what does all of that mean?"

Morlan again cleared his throat and continued. "For most of the items, nothing. However, all of the weapons' ammunition settings now have different designations. For example, incendiary rounds are now listed by the in-weapon tech as 'barbeque.' Disruptor rounds are designated as 'sweet & sour.' Shredder rounds are 'salt & vinegar.' And so on."

The younger salarian raised his right hand and spoke up. "Wait, if barbeque is 'incendiary,' then what is 'extra spicy'?"

"Armor-piercing," the shop owner replied.

"What is cryo then?" Kirrahe inquired.

"The cryo ammunition is now listed by the in-weapon tech as 'cool ranch.' It's a human term, apparently," Morlan explained. "I should add, it is only this particular batch of equipment that has this unfortunate issue. Most of the weapons and related equipment for the main operation remain crated up inside the 6th Dimension Vids freighter. C-Sec only scans cargo when it is off-loaded, so the other equipment is unaffected. Using this disguise tech was only way to procure the items you said you needed by the deadline you specified."

Kirrahe grumbled again and shook his head. "We'll just have to make do then. If we're lucky, we'll only need sweet & sour for this mission anyway." The major nodded towards Vass. "We need them because my colleague here got us unexpectedly volunteered for an urgent, last-minute side project."

Vass winced at the comment. "I'm sorry about that, major..."

The major put a reassuring hand on the younger salarian's shoulder. "I'm not upset. This is part of the job, after all. As STG agents, we must always adapt to the changing needs of the mission. And this side project should boost the odds that the larger mission will be a success." Kirrahe flashed a friendly smile at his protégé. "For what it's worth, Dalatrass Linron said that Her Majesty herself specifically requested your participation. You must have made quite a positive impression on her."

"Not an easy thing to do," Morlan chimed in.

The young agent shrugged. "Thank you, sirs, though, to be frank, I'm not actually sure what I did to earn the praise. And I also ensured that Ms T'Loak and her entourage know that we know that they know that I am an agent, which you told me to prevent them from knowing."

Kirrahe leaned against Morlan's counter and arched a brow. "Your report indicated that you followed the mission directives to the letter and that when the unexpected happened, you acted quickly, decisively, and in a manner that addressed the complication while drawing minimal attention. Textbook work. As for Her Majesty knowing that we know that she knows, well, she probably already knew that anyway."

Vass remained unconvinced. "But I also let T'Loak get into that exchange with the matriarch, who was obviously a spy. Shouldn't I have stopped her from doing that?"

Kirrahe shook his head. "I don't see what else you could have done under the circumstances. In fact, it seems that Her Majesty appreciated it that you didn't interfere and allowed her to make her point to the matriarch. This helped firm up T'Loak's alliance with the agency. The dalatrass herself told me that Her Majesty has become easier to deal with of late."

Vass thought for a second and then shrugged again. "Well, if it all worked out then I guess I shouldn't be questioning it," he decided. Another thought then struck him. "What exactly is the conflict between Ms. T'Loak and matriarchs?"

Kirrahe rubbed his chin and went "hmm..." for a moment before replying, "I'd say 'conflict' is too strong of a word. It's more of a 'family quarrel.' The matriarchs as a whole don't approve of Her Majesty. They wish the asari to be seen as the intellectual, political and cultural elite of the galaxy. Her Majesty is a high-profile rejection of that approach, an asari who instead embraces... how should I put it?"

"Ruthlessness?" interjected Morlan.

The major shrugged. "Yes, but the matriarchs can be quite ruthless themselves, they're just subtler about it. They may not approve of Her Majesty but she is - or at least, was - a major figure in the Terminus Systems, so they often worked together. It was very clandestine. It would hurt both of their reputations if they were ever seen in public together. So to speak," Kirrahe said. "You saw how difficult the relationship is last night, Agent Vass. It seems Her Majesty used the example of Linia undermining the matriarch's spying operation to make the case that we salarians were better at covert actions and therefore the better allies to help re-take Omega."

Vass nodded, then became alarmed as he processed the information. "Is Linia in trouble, do you think?" he nervously asked.

The major dismissed his concerns. "I highly doubt either side is upset with her. The matriarch indicated to you that she had learned from Her Majesty what she wanted to know and therefore it was over from her perspective. I don't think that the matriarchs will ever recruit Linia to spy again, but that would be as far as that goes," he explained. "Her Majesty knows that hurting a maiden that worked for the matriarchs would upset them and she doesn't want to burn bridges with Thessia. By the way, did you tell Linia any of this?"

The young agent sheepishly shook his head "no," then said, "She never even told me she was spying for the matriarchs. I'm still trying to figure out what to say... Linia wears her emotions rather openly. I'm afraid that if I told her that she messed up her spying assignment, it would upset her. Just shooting the vid's action scenes leaves her tired and stressed out enough. Then again, if I don't tell Linia, she'll find out from the matriarch the next time she goes to meet with her. And that matriarch has a rather sharp tongue."

"Then you had better come up with something, Agent Vass," Kirrahe replied. Vass sighed and nodded his head in response.

Morlan took the opportunity provided by the break in the conversation to chime in. "There was a fellow salarian who came into my store earlier today. He claimed to be working on the Blasto vid and said he was going to a secret meeting with that human reporter. What's her name? 'All Jiggly,' is that it?"

"It's al-Jilani! That salarian must be one of her inside sources!" Vass excitedly exclaimed. "This is the break we've been waiting for! Did he leave a name?"

Morlan nodded and began typing away at the computer on his counter. "The name on his credit chit was... Olo Stunn," he proudly announced.

Kirrahe flashed a smile. "Stunn? In that case, we actually want him talking to al-Jilani. He's one of the STG's assets at the studio."

Morlan blinked and tilted his head. "But... if he is one of the agency's operatives, then why didn't he identify himself to me?"

"Stunn is an asset, but not an operative," Kirrahe explained. "In fact, Stunn doesn't actually know that he 'works', in a manner of speaking, for the STG. As you probably noticed, he is a rather eccentric and imaginative individual..."

"He's quite mad," Morlan declared.

"Quite so!" Kirrahe concurred. "He got fired from his previous job as an editor at another vid studio following an incident in which he completely disassembled all of their cameras in an effort to find the STG bugs hidden inside them. He never found them because the STG had never placed any in there. It made for quite an amusing story in one of the industry trade magazines. As soon as the STG spotted the news article, it arranged to have 6th Dimension Vids offer Stunn a job. Having an utter raving madman at the studio who claims that the STG is secretly running everything is the perfect way to distract people from the fact that the STG secretly is running the studio. We've quietly kept tabs on Stunn just in case he actually discovers anything that the STG is doing. He hasn't though, so he has nothing of value to tell al-Jilani. But he will fill her up with crazy theories that will throw her off the trail. So this is good news for our mission."

Kirrahe smiled again and smacked his hands together. "With that out of the way, just point us towards our sweet & sour-flavored equipment, Operative Morlan, and we'll be off."

C-Sec officer Quetzal entered the store about an hour before it was set to close.

"Hello, welcome to Morlan's Famous Shoppe™! You want many good supplies, yes?" the proprietor inquired.

"Just one thing," Quetzal replied. "A case of Eden Prime popcorn, if you please."

Morlan flashed his trademark grin. "Happy to oblige!" He produced a crate from the back of his store and rang up the transaction.

Quetzal was startled when saw the amount. "There must be some mistake!"

Morlan sadly shook his head. "I'm afraid not. The price for this particular commodity has gone up rather dramatically. Cerberus' takeover of Omega has disrupted several supply chains throughout the galaxy. Eden Prime popcorn is popular on the human colonies in the Terminus Systems and several made large purchases when they couldn't be sure if the supply lines would remain open much longer."

The C-Sec officer frowned. "Well, what else do you have that's reasonably-priced? My boss is much easier to deal with if I can have some popcorn available when he stops by."

"The only other stuff I have is the Sur'Kesh brand that uses arachnid eggs instead of corn," Morlan replied. "That price hasn't changed."

Quetzal thought for a second, then shrugged. "Eh, let's go with that then. Commander Bailey will probably never know the difference."

No other customers entered the store for the next hour. At exactly 8 p.m., Morlan powered down the main computer and switched off the lights. He flipped the wooden sign in the door window over to "Closed - Please, Come Back Tomorrow!" then smiled at it for a few moments before he locked the door behind him and left.