Chapter 375

I Don't Know

Savannah and Cameron cried for awhile until Cameron regained her composure.

Cameron knew what needed to be done. There was no putting it off any longer. Her worry over the other set of Duplicates overwhelmed her. She felt responsible for whatever happened to them. None of them ever returned so something catastrophic must have happened. She needed to fix it. There was only one person who could help her.

"I need to contact River." Cameron said.

Savannah was unsure of where that would lead and what NEW can of worms would be opened. Whatever it was, it would take Cameron down some path she shouldn't be on or follow.

"I'd like to see River. I want to see all of them." Savannah said. "I feel responsible for them as well."

Savannah knew they could follow River moments after Cameron left or even before Cameron went there the first time. Savannah knew she better go with Cameron wherever she went to make sure she returned. She knew this might involve her mother - Mrs. Weaver at some point.

"I need River's help to try to find out what happened to the other set of Duplicates and your mother. She was supposed to work on the calculations with Duplicate Cameron. Her TDE is much more advanced than ours are." Cameron said. "I'm going to look for the other girls."

That was what Savannah wanted to hear even if she didn't want to say it herself.

"How are you going to look for them?" Savannah asked. "If they're still alive they would've returned years ago. We all know this. You need to accept they may be terminated or maybe never existed."

Savannah didn't know why her mother - Mrs. Weaver never came back to her or for her. She always thought that she would. It wasn't her mother but she knew Mrs. Weaver cared for her and she cared about Mrs. Weaver. She took care of her and she tried to do better as time went on.

Cameron was sure the other set of Duplicates existed based on her files from Duplicate Cameron. They could be captives. At least the girls could be captives. The thought of them being held in a Scavenger camp repulsed her.

"What if they're trapped, stuck or prisoners?" Cameron asked. "That is a real possibility. Terrible things could have happened to them…."

Savannah knew what that meant. Vanna and Jesse both told her some of the things that were done to them and that they were forced to do. They were enough to make her vomit. What was even worse was that both Vanna and Jesse said there were even worse things that they just couldn't talk about. What kind of a living Hell was that?

'What if they're dead?' Savannah wanted to ask again.

Savannah was sure that was a more likely scenario. She was afraid that would set Cameron off into another episode. Maybe she should warn Cameron with a less final scenario.

"What if you can't get back or end up in the wrong place or timeline?" Savannah asked. "Then what will happen? How do you come home?"

Cameron was very aware of that possibility. It was a gamble she needed to take. She planned to make sure her absence would be covered. The guilt she felt about everything was very overpowering.

"I can't continue believing my actions have marooned them somewhere 'in some future'." Cameron said. "I've insured John will have 'replacements' for me. I'll search for them until my power cell runs out or I'm terminated. This is something I must do, Savannah."

Savannah watched this scenario play out before the few times Cameron was 'gone' for an extended period of time. Once the girls were still there and John came close to 'touching' them but didn't. The time everyone else believed Cameron and the girls were terminated she'd tried to 'offer' herself to John but she was just too young for anyone to tolerate that. She was ready to step up and do what was necessary to easy John's pain until Cameron returned. She didn't see it as big deal. Girls that age in third would nations and the inner city often produced children at that same age. It really wasn't a big deal. A few hundred years ago every female was married off by that age. They didn't live that long back then. It was all a matter of perception. If the female was willing, that should be all that mattered, not some 'number'.

"John will never touch them or me without knowing what happened to you." Savannah said. "You will doom him to a life of emptiness. The very thing you tried to stop and fix. You will counteract what you were sent back for. You will be the one who initiates it."

Cameron was still sure John would be better off without her clouding his life and future. It was her association with John that made him a target for assassination. Her presence prevented him from taking the girls as his mates and producing offspring. She was what disrupted the 'Natural Order'.

"There's no escape from the 'Natural Order' of time." Cameron said. "You and Young Allison are John's future, even if it takes another decade. Young Allison will be an adult then. She will take him. You will already be with her. Any Allison can take John. You can too."

Savannah wasn't too sure about any of that. She was sexually active with females now but Young Allison still needed to make her own decisions. She wouldn't allow others to make those choices for her. There were many variables or things that could go wrong. There were so many things that might or might not be.

Savannah knew that Cameron going on her own was folly. Cameron would be reckless and take too many chances. She might also seek termination. She wouldn't allow any of those things to happen. She didn't have any trouble making her choice. It just came out without her even thinking about it. It was something that was necessary.

"I'm going with you." Savannah said.

Cameron looked intently at Savannah. She was sure this was a one way trip. She couldn't allow Savannah to be sacrificed.

"NO. THAT is not going to happen." Cameron said. "We both know I won't be coming back."

THAT was what Savannah was afraid of. She felt she was able to make life choices for herself.

"It's my choice." Savannah said.

Cameron knew that Savannah was a leader. She didn't need to do this. The future needed Savannah to exist. John would need Savannah to exist and not self terminate. She'd witnesses the 'Day Of Loss' on Holly's chip and the terrible fifteen months that followed.

"NO, Savannah." Cameron said. "I won't kill you too. I've killed enough people I love."

Savannah wasn't convinced. Her mind was made up. If Cameron went, she was going too. Her life belonged to her. She would never abandon Cameron. It was a promise she made and she intended to keep it. She was prepared to trade her life for Cameron's life. Sacrifice was the true test of love and she was ready to prove that. It was just that simple.

John sent a team of Terminators to run down whatever Cameron was after when she 'disappeared' earlier.

"They still haven't found any trace of any hostile Terminators?" John asked.

John Henry coordinated the operation from the Command Center.

"Not yet. They're running down the leads." John Henry said. "There is little hard fact to work with."

John was aware the trail started in their area. Maybe that was a better place to start.

"What about the connection here?" John asked.

The Skyweb group was looked into and all targets were identified.

"We've sent teams to eradicate all traces and everyone involved." John Henry said. "So far we've encountered no more Metal or any version of an HK."

John was worried about all the HK variants they'd encountered. It still bothered him to think of Cameron riding on the back of one was she tried to disable it. The tracked HK equipment still wasn't the biggest threat yet.

"I'm worried most about the flying ones, the HK drones." John said. "Those are the ones we need to control. They are the ones we need more of."

John Henry was aware of what Cameron did on her follow up operations with her Terminators.

"Cameron has systematical returned to every facility we've destroyed and removed any Metal or parts of them left behind." John Henry said. "She's collected quite a bit of machinery and controls most of the known Coltan."

John was a little surprised to hear that. Cameron conducted operations outside the scope of the Resistance. It did raise some interesting possibilities. It made him wonder about the true nature of their personal relationship. How much of that was 'real' and how much of that was to 'control' him?

"Is she ready to start any assembly lines?" John asked. "She's said nothing to me about any of this. Most of our interaction is as - husband and wife. She doesn't want to talk shop."

John Henry didn't see that as a problem. Cameron did the 'work' and kept John out of harm's way. It was evident Cameron tried to 'please' John. He was aware to the 'pressure' that put Cameron under.

"We can all see she's trying to be a better wife to you, John." John Henry said. "That's not supposed to be her primary function. She's destroying herself internally trying to be YOUR wife, protect you and save the future. The entire time she does all this she sees herself as being in the way of the 'Natural Order' and endangering you by 'being' with you."

John felt a little guilty but not for being in love. He didn't like to cause Cameron stress but he did love her deeply.

"Everything she does, no matter what she does, only makes me love her more." John said. "I can't help it."

John Henry knew that he personally and everyone else for that matter felt the same way. It was just Cameron's presence that made everyone want to assist her. That was no matter what the 'price' was either.

"John, it's like that for all of us." John Henry said. "In a second, anyone would follow her to their doom and never think twice."

They both knew members of their group did that multiple times at great peril to themselves, all for Cameron.

John just couldn't understand why Cameron felt to 'bad' about herself. Nobody else thought that way about her. Everyone worshiped her for all practical purposes.

"Why can't she see how special she is?" John asked. "WHY?"

That was the same question John Henry and everyone else asked themselves. It only strengthened their resolve to help Cameron and follow her even more.

"I don't know." John Henry said. "I don't think she knows herself…."

They both knew the internal demons in Cameron, were many. She was caught up in the events she tried to fix. She did fix a lot of them too on her own.

Claire didn't have any desire to be with Paul. There was no love in the couplings. She basically provided a small, tight and warm 'place' for him to deposit his essence and leave her with a mess to deal with. He'd never even satisfied her once. He really didn't even try. She received nothing beneficial out of their two minute couplings. She did feel obligated to keep him around for their 'family'.

"I want Paul to be happy and love his children." Claire said. "I'm unable to fill his needs."

Hanna was ready to step up and fill the void. She was an infiltrator and was programmed for such eventualities.

"I can 'be with him' for you in your place." Hanna said. "It's a function I can do."

Fear gripped Claire. She knew what Metal was like in bed. Paul would be all over Hanna non stop.

"No." Claire said.

Claire was afraid she would lose Hanna.

Hanna would do her 'job'. There were several ways to do it.

"I can be with both of you together or separately." Hanna said. "I will still love you the same."

Claire wasn't so sure about that. That wasn't how love worked.

"Isn't that your programming talking?" Claire asked.

Hanna was offended by what Claire just said. Maybe she wasn't more than a 'thing' to anyone. This was how Cameron felt.

"It is." Hanna said. "It's always my programming talking. I'm a cyborg. I'm a machine."

Claire could see she'd 'hurt' Hanna. That wasn't her intent. Now she felt bad about herself.

"I'm sorry." Claire said. "I didn't mean it like that."

Cameron threatened all of the female Terminators with termination if they every 'spoiled' themselves with a male other than John. They were to remain pure in that way for John. He was to have each of them first. That was because Cameron was unsure of her 'past'. She was sure that John wasn't her first. The files to prove that one way or another were erased.

"I need to talk with Allison and Vanna first." Hanna said. "I don't want to make a bigger problem. I would like the 'experience' to be with a male. Only Cameron has been with a male."

Claire wondered about that herself.

"Does Cameron make all the female Terminators seek only other female love?" Claire asked. "I mean only female lovers?"

Hanna knew that Cameron put that in their programming.

"Yes." Hanna said. "We are to 'save' ourselves for John."

Claire saw that as a potential problem for Hanna. She didn't want Hanna 'punished' because of her.

"Will you need to ask Cameron?" Claire asked. "I don't want any problems over this. Paul can continue to 'relieve' himself as he already does every night. It doesn't take him long."

Hanna felt like a cog in the wheel. She knew failure wasn't an option for a Terminator. She was the one there, it fell on her to fix it.

"No, she told me to fix ALL the problems here." Hanna said. "If I can't do it she will send Sheila and then Ally. If that fails, she will send a clone of herself."

Claire didn't want to lose Hanna because she loved her. She did find the prospect of Sheila very enticing. She loved the way Jesse looked and Sheila was the Metal version of Jesse. She'd always been attracted to Asian females. She needed to refocus.

"Why would Cameron do all this?" Claire asked.

Hanna knew why. It was Cameron's love for Allison.

"Allison asked her to." Hanna said. "Allison wants her parents to remain together for Young Allison and Summer."

Claire found that to be very touching and better understood the depth of Cameron's concern and love.

"Cameron would do that for her?" Claire asked. "She loves Allison that much?"

Hanna understood why and how important everything was to Cameron.

"Claire, Cameron loves ALL of us." Hanna said. "That's why her 'emotional stability' has been compromised. She can't stand the thought of anyone being unhappy, hurt or killed. She's trying to do all this and EVERYTHING else - herself."

Claire was touched even more by Cameron.

"It only makes you love Cameron more." Claire said.

Hanna knew how the Metal girls all felt and the human ones too for that matter.

"ALL of us feel the same way." Hanna said. "And we all do love her more."

Claire didn't want to cause Cameron any more grief. She thought maybe she should allow Paul to use her 'body' and take the pressure off of Hanna and Cameron. She didn't feel proper to 'force' someone else to do what she didn't want to do.

"You may speak with Vanna and Allison." Claire said. "I want this decision based on what you really want, Hanna. I don't want you to feel this is an 'obligation' to me or anyone else. I only want to be with you, Hanna. I want you all to myself but I understand Allison wanting her parents for her younger self. I know it's because of the parents she never was able to have and keep as she grew up. I know what happened to her. I'm releasing my commitment and obligations to Paul. You may do as you desire freely. We are – divorced."

Hanna didn't tell Claire she wanted to make Cameron happy, besides her own programming was expanding anyway on its own. She possessed 'Vanna's programming' in her from the 'Neural interface'. She wanted to see for herself if it was that painful and traumatic to be with a male. Vanna's memories were all violent, sickening and brutal. She knew she could be too if that's how the 'game' was played. Claire with Allison's baby in her would be protected. She hoped Claire hadn't ever been treated like Vanna was. Now she wanted to accompany Cameron when she attacked any more of the sex trade groups. She missed being one of the 'Three Musketeers' at Cameron's side to enact justice for all females.

The thought of the brutal things done to Vanna caused her hand to start to glitch. How could people be so evil and hurtful to others? It was no wonder Sheila became so aggressive. The 'darkness' in Jesse was part of her. Vanna didn't have this darkness, only the pain and hurt caused by it. Maybe it was time she stepped up and asked Sheila to show her the 'darkness' and the justice that came with it.

I Don't Know

Each day is a challenge
Filled with confusion
I am not sure what is real
Or what is an illusion

In my hurting mind
Many feelings conflict
I was not your first choice
When you actually picked

I don't know what
Tomorrow will be
I wonder if it will
Still include me

I want you near
I want you here
I want you to hear
I want you so dear

There are many variables
Many directions in which to go
What will our future bring
I can honestly say that I don't know

Nobody

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cameron Prime Timeline:

Events Continue In Chapter 381

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX