Title : A powerfull sheet of paper

Author: L'insomnie des étoiles (Grain-de-sable on LiveJournal)

Beta Reader : TillyRose. Your're the best ; thanks a lot!

Disclaimer : They don't belong to me!

Characters : Dean, Sam, John mentioned

Genre : Dean angst

Spoilers : episode 1.16 Shadow

Rating : PG 13

Summary : "Have you ever been scared ? " Dean asked his little Brother.

Author's Note : English is not my maternal language and I do my best to write correctly. If you see any error they're mine and tell me, they will be corrected.

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"Dean, I'm gonna get some food, you want anything?" Sam asked through the bathroom door.

"French fries, a burger and a big coffee." Dean answered.

Sam nodded and looked through his bag, searching for his wallet. Ten minutes later, he'd given up.

"I'm taking some of your money!"

"What? Do what you want but let me have my shower!" shouted his brother above the noise of the running water. Sam smiled.

The two brothers were taking a break in a little town called Shenendewa.

Taking a break wasn't exactly true: their encounter with the Daeva had been violent. Extremely violent. Sam had gotten deep cuts on his back and on his torso; Dean three gashes on his face and multiple cuts on his stomach. These injuries would take time to heal. Time Sam and Dean didn't have.

They had to get back on the road to hunt until they finally found the demon that had killed their mother. Since Chicago, Sam was more eager than ever to kill the demon. So, when for once Dean had suggested taking a four days break, Sam had protested.

Going through the pockets of his brother's jacket, Sam took a twenty. Suddenly very curious, he peeked quietly into Dean's wallet: credit cards, a few coins, a picture of Dean, John and him...Nothing out of ordinary. Sam sighed softly, feeling slightly guilty. He didn't know why he did that. As he closed the wallet, his eyes caught on a green sheet of paper hidden in the lining. Curious, he unfolded it ... and felt like his heart was going to explode. SATs results from 1997 ; Dean was 18. Sam didn't even know Dean had graduated. He thought his brother had dropped out of high school a year before graduation. At the time, John had asked the elder brother to help him hunt full-time. Between that and school, the choice had been easy for Dean.

Well, Sam thought so. More than anything, Dean loved to hunt. His homework was never important; Sam had never seen him doing it even when they had their finals. He thought his big brother didn't care. Apparently, he was wrong.

For the second time that night, Sam's heart almost stopped. 1440.

His brother had scored 1440. That was better than Sam; that was better than 99 percents of the students. Dean could have gotten a full ride to any college he wanted.

Sam was sitting, slumped on the bed. He didn't raise his head when Dean came out of the bathroom. Looking at his brother, Dean frowned; worried.

"Sam ...?" The younger didn't move. In his hand was... Ah crap thought Dean.

His little brother raised his head. Tears were shining in his eyes. Tears of rage or sadness, Dean couldn't tell. Sam's face was impassive.

"Why?" Sam finally asked.

Dean sighed. He was tired and didn't want to have this conversation. He sat heavily on the bed and looked at his brother right in the eyes.

"Why what?" he retorted. Sam didn't know what to say. Questions were rushing through his head. Soon, they burst out.

"How?" he asked. "How did you continue high school? When did you graduate? Why didn't you go to college? Why did you stay? Does Dad know? Why didn't you tell me? Why?" finished Sam, now furious.

Dean smiled.

"That's a lot of questions kiddo." he said quietly. His calm demeanour annoyed Sam all the more.

"Dean!" he pushed his brother's shoulder with his fist.

"Okay, okay. But first, we gotta eat."

As Sam goes to object, his stomach grumbles loudly.

Half an hour later, the two men were seated at the table in their hotel room with Chinese take-out.

They were both quiet. Sam was watching his brother. Usually, it was Dean who talked and made the conversation. Sam couldn't hold back his impatience; he wanted Dean to talk to him. And at the same time, he was scared. He had the feeling that he wouldn't like what his brother would say. The dinner finished, Sam got up and sat on his bed. Dean stayed at the table, the head down. As Sam was opening his mouth, Dean began to talk.

"The year I turned 16, the hunt became really intense. Monsters were everywhere." Dean raised his head. "You remember the Darkness Dealer that attacked us that day during Christmas break when you were in seventh grade?" Sam nodded.

"And that same night, there was the other malicious spirit that terrified the whole town." Dean remembered.

"You and Dad destroyed it, didn't you?" The older brother made a grunt of confirmation.

"Yeah. What you don't know is that after that, demon attacks became extremely frequent. During the day they would attack buses, schools, shops. At night; cars and houses."

"I had no idea. I noticed that Dad would go out very night but I thought he was doing the usual; beer and pool." Dean shook his head.

"He hunted every night, Sam. Every night and every day for the next year. That's why we stayed so long in Seattle. For almost twelve months, and we don't know why, demons were everywhere. Dad stayed, hoping they were somehow related to the Demon that killed Mom."

"That's why you dropped out of school, isn't it?"

"In March, 1996; Dad got hurt badly. A werewolf; you know how nasty they can be. He broke some ribs, a leg; he had deep scratches on his back, his arms..." Dean trailed off. Sam remembered now; his brother hadn't gone to school for a week to fill in for his father's work.

"After that you didn't go to school anymore."

"I passed the final exams and yes, I stopped." Dean answered. Sam glanced at the SAT results and looked back at Dean.

"But how did you do so…?"

"I did my senior class through a correspondence course. That's how I finished high school."

"How? I mean, we moved all the time..." Sam yawned widely.

Dean, who was still in his chair, got up and stretched carefully. He glanced at his brother. Sam was sitting Indian-style on his bed. Dressed in a t-shirt and jogging pants, he looked a lot like the little boy Dean had taken care of when he was much younger.

"Enough talking for now." he said.

"You haven't finished, Dean." Sam stated seriously.

"We're both tired and you look terrible." Sam frowned but couldn't deny it.

They had taken care of their injuries but were far from being healed. They both had stiches; and it was thanks to their father's medical training that they knew how to sew and repair minor wounds. Despite this, two days after leaving Chicago, their bodies ached. The brothers moved cautiously so as to not reopen the wounds. Sam sighed.

"Tomorrow, I want the rest, okay?" he said, pointing his finger at his older brother.

Stiffly he lay back down on his bed and Dean turned off the light.

END Chapter 1