Zootopia Wilde Tales: Too Many Ghosts!
Another story about our favorite fox's life as a Disney star. It is Halloween and Nick, Robin Hood, Honest John, and Tod visit the eerie Haunted Mansion.
This story was written for the reader's enjoyment without any profitable purposes. Nick and Judy, along with Zootopia, are the property of Disney. My apologies to anyone which this satirical story might offend, including any and all Disney stars, actors, and ghosts mentioned within.
No foxes were harmed during this terrifying tale.
Walt Disney World, Florida
Halloween Night
The bell in the tower on Main Street U.S.A. had tolled the last stroke of midnight and a brisk breeze blew down the mostly empty boulevard, for the guests were leaving the now-closed park. In their wake three red foxes determinedly marched up the street past Liberty Square Market and towards the gates of a darkly lit, ominously brooding, mansion. "Tod, I can't believe you volunteered to do this?" one of the foxes in a green tropical shirt snapped in aggravation at a younger red fox even while he tried to adjust his mismatched tie so that it hung 'just right' from around his neck.
"Fie, Nicholas, stop fiddling with your tie," one of his companions merrily chuckled, that fox was dressed in a forest green woodsman tunic and had a matching green hunter's cap jauntily perched between his ears, he gave the other fox a smirk before he placed a steadying paw on the back of the third, much younger, fox. "Tod was brave to take on such a noble quest and surely as his friends we are sworn bound to come to his aid."
"Speaking about friends, Robin, I don't see your bosom buddy Little John anywhere around here," Nick scoffed.
"Ahh yes, well it seems that good Johnny had other commitments."
"In other words, he bailed on you."
"Alas, it seems that tonight a bear has more common sense than a fox," Robin replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
"I don't understand why you two seem to think I need help?" the younger fox said. "All Mickey wants is someone to count the number of ghosts at the Haunted Mansion to make sure they are all there. I told him that I'd do it, but I figured that Copper would help me."
"Tod, just where is your old pal Copper?" Nick asked.
"He said that he forgot that he had to work. You know that he is now a police dog and has an important job with Celebration's K-9 Unit!" Tod boasted.
"I didn't know that the good villagers of Celebration had a K-9 Unit?" Robin asked in surprise.
"Well, that is what he told me," the younger fox defensively replied. "Wait, maybe he works at the Dog Park instead?"
"I think tonight that even a hound dog has more common sense than a fox," Nick sighed while he shook his head. Then glancing over at Tod, he quickly added. "At least this fox."
The three friends skidded to a halt when they saw someone else strolling in their direction. "Oh great, here HE comes!" Nick muttered.
"Hi diddly dee, my fellow thespians!" J. Worthington Foulfellow or Honest John, as he was more commonly known, greeted them while he tipped his top hat and gave them a slight bow. The fox was dressed in his usual worn green suit and red-lined blue cape, but instead of his normal green battered hat, he wore a brand new black top hat. "What has brought you out on this fine evening? Wilde, I figured you and that pipsqueak confidant of yours would be out trying to pass him off as a mere tike and that the two of you would be out Trick-or-Treating?"
"It's a little late for Trick-or-Treating," Nick answered. He didn't mention that they had pulled that exact hustle earlier in the evening by dressing Finnick in his elephant costume before they went door to door.
"Is that a new hat?" Tod asked.
A grin came across the other fox's muzzle before he gave the shiny hat between his ears a slight tap. "Indeed, it is a National Fox Day present from Gideon! He bought it with some of his proceeds from my new movie. Surely by now, you should know that I was the star of the live remake of Pinocchio?" he boasted.
"Your new movie? I thought it was Tom Hanks and Pinocchio's new movie?" the younger fox asked while he cocked his head slightly in confusion.
"That two-bit overpaid Hollywood hack did have a bit part in MY movie," Honest John airily replied before he twirled his walking stick. "As for Pinocchio, he is a walking talking block of wood that would be nothing special without the genius of my talents to enhance his pitiful acting abilities."
"I rather like Pinocchio, he is a nice puppet," Robin softly protested.
"Let me guess, you hustled that poor cat Gideon into buying that new top hat for you so that you didn't have to spend any of your own cash?" Nick interjected, causing Honest John to glare at him. "But I see you are back in that shabby green suit of yours, what happened to the new clothes from…how did you put it…oh yes, from your movie?
"The stingy costume supervisor made me return it to Wardrobe after they finished shooting my Oscar-worthy scene."
"Mickey probably wanted that gaudy curtain you were wearing as a cape hanging back up in the shower stall!" Nick chuckled and his sarcastic comments drew another glare from Honest John.
"That surely is a fine hat, one which is truly worthy of a Disney star," Robin proclaimed in a cheery tone and Nick gave him a suspicious glance for he knew that the sly Prince of Foxes was up to something.
"Thank you my kind sir, at least you appreciate my talents," Honest John replied in a flattered tone.
"Since you are here, you may join us in our quest," Robin quickly added before he stepped to the right of Honest John. The dashing fox in the green tunic gave Nick a wink.
"What quest is that?"
"Tod volunteered for a simple little job, so Robin and I offered to help him," Nick answered in a seemingly nonchalant manner while he gave a shrug of his shoulders before he stepped to the left of the other fox.
"Wilde, you didn't answer my question."
"We are going to count all the ghosts at the Haunted Mansion for Mickey!" Tod blurted out.
"And you can help us," Robin added after he firmly gripped Honest John's arm to keep the other fox from running away. "Surely you will help?"
"Yeah, I'd hate it to get out that you are a coward," Nick added after he seized the fox's other arm.
"I've been Shanghaied…purloined…pinched…" Honest John protested while he stood there between the two other foxes.
"Come on, you know that we Disney foxes always stick together. As we say, all for one and one for all," Robin replied.
"That my dear, Robin, is not from one of our movies, but from the three Musketeers," the fox in the top hat grumbled while he allowed the others to escort him through the wrought iron gates.
With growing trepidation the four brave foxes approached the eerily blue-lit building which loomed over them and even on a cloudless night, a spooky mist was rising from around the forbidding building. With all the guests gone, it was quiet…too quiet. Boldly Robin stepped to the door and gave it a tug, but it seemed securely locked. "Darn, it appears that no one is home!" Honest John sighed in a relieved tone. "I guess we will just have to come back another day?"
"Try knocking," Tod suggested and when Robin raised his paw to pound on the door, there was a creaking sound while the door slowly opened to reveal a dark room.
"Foreward, my fearless companions," Robin commanded before he stepped into the unknown.
Nick felt Honest John's paw frantically squeeze his arm and Tod grasped his other before they followed the other fox into the darkness. They found themselves standing in a foyer that contained very little but a fireplace with a portrait of a handsome young man hanging above it. "Now where do we go?" Nick asked Robin.
"There is yet another door," the fox answered.
"Ahhhh, guys..." Tod whispered as he watched with wide eyes and ears flat when the figure in the portrait began to suddenly age and soon only his skeletal image stared down at them. His companions were not paying attention to the painting and Nick grabbed his arm before he pulled the younger fox through the door that Robin had opened, it slammed closed behind them.
"Great, a dead end," Nick muttered after he looked around at the octagon-shaped room that they now stood in.
"That was a poor choice of words," Honest John whispered and Tod nodded in agreement.
The trembling foxes slowly entered further into the room and they clustered together when it seemed that the room's walls had begun to mysteriously stretch upward, suddenly another door opened. They quickly fled the strange room and found themselves standing in front of rows of the ride's Doom Buggies, all idle now that the power to the tracks had been turned off. "Alas, it appears we shall have to continue our trek by foot or in our case by paw," Robin said. "Come on stout lads, we have a quest to fulfill."
The hallway they entered was dimly lit by flickering chandeliers, they could hear music and voices from the distance but this part of the mansion seemed vacant. Down a long hallway, the foxes cautiously crept, past paintings on the wall, through a seemingly deserted library, into what must have been the music room, and finally, they came to a flight of stairs. "Upward my brave lads," Robin proclaimed.
The room at the top of the stairs was pitch black and they fumbled their way through the darkness until they came to what looked like an endless hallway with many doors. "I almost expect Scooby-Doo and his pals to come running in and out of the doors while being chased by the Creeper," Nick softly chuckled.
"He's with Warner Brothers and not Disney," Honest John tusked while they continued into the conservatory where there was a now empty coffin.
"Steady, foxes!" Robin said while he bravely led them forward and past a grandfather clock that had wildly spinning hands.
"Time really flies around here," Nick joked to Honest John. The fox in the top hat rolled his eyes and let out a groan.
Further down the hallway, they came to yet another room. "STOP!" a feminine voice sternly commanded and they came muzzle to face with a floating crystal ball that contained the image of a woman's head inside. "This ride is closed for the evening, come back tomorrow."
"Madame Leota!" Robin called out while he doffed his cap in respect to the talented medium trapped within the glass orb before it returned to levitate inside the center of a séance circle. "Fair lady, we have been sent by Mickey to take a census of the ghosts who dwell in this house. Perhaps you can direct us to them?"
"Inside the ballroom, you will find all the ghoulish ghosts that you seek, for it is still All Hallows night and they have gathered to haunt before the morning light begins to peek," the spectral head intoned. "But beware…"
"Great, let's get this over with!" the young fox cried out before he charged down the dimly lit hallway.
"Tod, don't split up, you need to stay with the rest of us!" Nick called out. Robin gave a concerned glance at the other foxes before he raced after their younger friend.
"Wilde, have those two yahoos never seen a horror movie? You never, never, split up in a horror movie!" Honest John whimpered. Nick didn't answer but let out a sigh before he too followed the others.
Honest John shook his head in wonder while he stood there watching Nick's reddish-orange tail disappear in the distance. "Do you fear to go where your friends have already trod?" a voice mused from behind him and he turned to see Madame Leota smiling at him. "So much for that legendary vulpine loyalty?" she cackled.
"Well if I am going, I'm not going alone!" the fox growled before he gripped the floating crystal ball.
"Let me go!"
"Nope, you're coming with me."
Snatching her as if she was a football, he tucked her under his arm and carefully crept toward the unknown. He was surprised by the sight that greeted him for there were hundreds of ghosts twirling and dancing in midair to the sound of eerie music. Amongst the ghoulish dancers were three red foxes being swept along by their unworldly dance companions.
"Put me down!" Nick cried out while he was swung back and forth between two dancers.
Nearby, Tod was being carried by yet another phantasm.
Robin vainly tried to untangle himself from the embrace of a ghastly-looking bride, her tattered wedding dress flowing behind her. "Do you have a ghoul friend?" she coyly asked the handsome fox.
Before Robin could answer there was a loud piercing sound from behind them, causing Honest John to fumble and almost drop Madam Leota. "Put those foxes down!" a very familiar voice commanded and everyone turned to see that Judy was standing there in her cop uniform, she was clutching a traffic police whistle in her right paw. Behind the gray-furred rabbit stood two red fox vixens, one of whom was wearing a floor-length lavender dress and a pink blouse with full puffy sleeves. Next to her, the younger fox wore a very country-looking blouse and blue denim jeans while she stood there ringing her paws with concern.
"Constance, you know that Robin is my husband, so stop flirting with him!" Marian demanded and the ghostly bride gave the vixen a disappointed frown before she released the fox from her arms. With a thump, Robin landed tail-first on the ground.
"Carrots, what are you doing here?" Nick asked. He too had been dropped, but the old chair he had landed upon gave way with a jarring crash and sent him sprawling onto the floor.
Todd, however, was gently released by his ghostly dance companion and he stumbled into Vixey's loving embrace.
"Slick, I heard from some of the Cast Members that you four were heading towards the Haunted Mansion to take an inventory of the ghosts and so I figured you all would get in trouble. I asked Marian and Vixey to join me. "Now what is going on here?"
"We kinda got sidetracked," Tod answered.
Judy nodded at the young fox before she looked at the gathered ghosts and commanded, "Everyone go to the graveyard so the boys can get done with this and you can go back to partying."
"She's pretty bossy," one of the ghosts whispered when he floated by Nick and towards the door.
"That's the cop side of her coming out," Nick whispered back. "Don't ever get on her bad side, she once knocked out a rhino."
The ghost nodded his head before he hurried outside.
Inside the graveyard, all the ghosts lined up and, under the watchful eyes of the bunny, they impatiently tried to stay still while Tod counted. "That makes an even one thousand!" the young fox proclaimed with a grin. "It looks like…"
He never finished his statement for Madam Leota called out, "There are only nine hundred and ninety-nine ghosts, you must have miscounted!"
"No, I'm pretty sure I counted right," the now puzzled fox answered before he began calling out each ghost as he recounted. Robin joined him while they went down the ghastly line. "See, one thousand!"
The last ghost seemed to be hiding in the corner, away from everyone else. "Hey, who's the new guy?" Madam Leota asked.
Robin noticed a reddish-orange, white-tipped, tail swish from below what appeared to be a white bed sheet that the so-called ghost was wearing. Slowly reaching over, he carefully snatched the sheet off of the ghost and stepped back in shock.
Standing high on top of the roof above the graveyard, the specter of an old man dressed in a white suit leaned on his cane and whispered to the almost transparent boy who floated in front of him. "So the new ghost is really a fox?"
"Not just any fox, he is Br'er Fox and he escaped from the Vault," the little boy giggled.
"Please tell me that you didn't have anything to do with that, you know that the Disney executives locked away the movie Song of the South years ago for a reason."
"I just might have accidentally left the door open."
"You naughty little phantom, now let's go before they realize that there are really one thousand and one ghosts who haunt this ride."
Do real ghosts haunt Walt Disney World?
There is a tale of an old man with a cane who is seen at the Haunted Mansion and some claim that he was a pilot whose plane crashed into what is now Bay Lake long before WDW was built and others say that he was an old maintenance man who has returned.
There are also reports of the apparition of a young boy riding in a Doom Buggy. He is always smiling and seems to be enjoying himself.
Still, others have seen the ghost of Roy Disney standing on Main Street, watching the fireworks. After all, even in death why would anyone leave the "Happiest Place on Earth"?
Finally, there is George over at the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Always show him respect and things will be just fine.
{Editors note: There is much more to the Haunted Mansion ride than described in this story and I only mentioned a few of the rooms.}