Another Place

Chapter 7

The 59th Time Around…

"Why don't you just keep going around and kissing people?" The female Q asked Tom Paris.

"I only wanted to kiss B'Elanna." Tom replied.

They were walking down the corridor, which had somehow had an environmental malfunction and had about 12 centimeters of snow. The whole ship had snow in the corridors, on consoles, and no one could figure out how. Let alone how to get rid of the snow which had somehow stayed even in the fairly warm environment. Earlier, Tom and the female Q had thrown snowballs at passing by crewmen. Of course they had also built a snowman, then a Klingon snowwoman, and a Vulcan snowman that was smiling.

"Sure…" Q responded. "Now, what else do you have in mind, you have to be running out of ideas." Tom only smiled at her statement.

The 100th Time Around…

"Now, the rule is, you have to his the golf ball straight ahead." Tom started. He was talking to Q on the Bridge that was completely empty. "Then from where the ball lands, you have to get it into the hole in the Captain's Ready Room." Q looked at him oddly. "Okay, so I might've carved a hole in the Captain's Ready Room, big deal. I'll go first and you can watch how to hit it."

Tom grabbed one of the golf clubs he had replicated and placed the replicated golf ball on a tee in front of the turbolift entrance. The Bridge crew had left because a mysterious gas had entered the Bridge and was now keeping them out. In reality there was no gas, the computers had malfunctioned and Tom had left along with the others. But came back after they had all left and they will stay gone as long as the sensors keep saying there is dangerous gas on the Bridge.

Tom looked down at the golf ball and then back up at the viewscreen where he would have to aim the ball. After hitting the golf ball, it ricocheted off the viewscreen and came back towards Tom and Q. Both ducked and it then ricocheted off the turbolift doors. It eventually came to rest in front of Commander Chakotay's chair.

"See, it's not that hard, just remember to duck when it comes back." Tom said to Q.

Q took a golf club and put one of the golf balls on the tee. Tom stood next to her, leaning on the Tactical console. Q brought the club up and mistakenly let it go after hitting the golf ball. It flew into the railing and flew back towards Q and Tom. They both ducked in time to avoid getting hit in the head. But of course once it hit the turbolift doors, the club hit Tom in the back of the head knocking him unconscious.

The 114th Time Around…

"Fourteenth times the charm." Tom said to Q. They were on the Bridge again, still working on golf.

"I don't know why people find this sport interesting." Q replied to Tom.

"Don't worry, when we get better, we'll play with people here so you'll get points for hitting people." Tom answered.

It was his turn to hit the ball and he was positioning himself to hit the ball. The new rule was that they would stomp on something that would send the ball straight up in the air and hit the ball with the golf club. Tom had stomped on the pump and the ball went flying up in the air. Tom pulled his golf club back, but it didn't come back to hit the ball because he hit something else with the golf club. Tom turned around just in time to see Chakotay fall to the floor, half way on the bridge, and half way in the turbolift.

"Oh crap." Tom said. He dropped the club and stared at Chakotay's body. "I just killed Chakotay."

"I don't think he's dead." Q replied, though she actually wasn't sure.

"Crap." Tom repeated. Tom knelt down next to Chakotay to check for a pulse. "Oh thank gods he's alive." There was silence for a couple seconds. "Let's go."

The 164th Time Around…

"We've watched that movie." Q said.

"This one?" Tom asked holding up another padd.

"That one, too." Q replied.

"What about these?" Tom questioned holding up a padd of movies which included the Alien movies: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, and Alien Resurrection.

"Three times each." Q answered. "I think the third one you created in 3D."

"Oh yeah…" Tom said remembering. They were sitting in the middle of a movie theatre with tons of padds around them with different movies on each. "This one?"

"Snakes on a Plane? Sounds cheesy." Q replied.

"But Samuel L. Jackson is in it. And he says this really great line in it." Tom responded. "It goes like this: 'I'm tired of these-'"

"Next." Q interrupted.

"Alrighty…" Tom said. "Airplane!?"

"Four times." Q answered. "And the sequels twice. And no, we are not watching The Breakfast Club again, that we've seen three times."

"Oooh, how about The Exorcist?" Tom asked.

"No, I don't feel like being scared…again." Q replied. She grabbed a padd. "How about this?"

"The Women? Chick flick, no way." Tom replied. "Oh, I know, Independence Day."

"We've seen it, and you had it so that when things explode wind would blow your hair back." Q responded. Tom was about to say something else, but was interrupted again. "No, we are not watching those Pirates of the Caribbean movies again, we've seen the first one twice, the second one three times, and the others twice each."

This was Tom's last ditch effort. He had no other ideas after watching countless movies that gave him little inspiration. After over a hundred times of going back in time and doing random things, he had no more ideas.

"Stand By Me?" Tom asked.

"Do you seriously not remember watching these movies?" Q asked. "We've seen it twice."

"Okay, let's move onto TV shows." Tom said. "We've seen Lost, The 4400-"

"Those you remember?" Q asked.

"I remember telling you to shut up or I will seriously hurt you." Tom replied.

"I didn't even say a word!" Q shot back.

"It was just a warning." Tom answered.

"You can't be serious, right?" Q asked. "You said that you would turn the show around if I didn't shut up. How the hell do you turn a show around? No wonder why you and that Klingon work so well, you both have horrible tempers!"

"Hey," Tom started. "you should know better than to talk in the middle of a show!"

"You said that the rule was that you were the only one allowed to talk!" Q said. "I wasn't even allowed to laugh!"

"You shouldn't be talking during shows like that!" Tom replied starting to raise his voice.

"Yeah, like you saying, 'Jordan's alive, Jordan's alive!' didn't constitute as talking." Q muttered.

"I waited until the show was over until I yelled that." Tom responded. "Let's get back to the list…We've also seen 24, Stargate SG-1-"

"Too bad we didn't understand those 'Star Trek' references." Q added

"I thought the Q were all knowing." Tom said smugly.

"The little things don't concern us." Q responded. "There were a lot of people that looked familiar, too."

"Yeah, like that guy that looked like the Doctor!" Tom replied. "And the one that looked like Q…fitting that that guy was evil."

"True, but that big alien guy was very pleasant to look at." Q said smiling. Tom just stared back at her.

"Okay…" Tom said. "We've seen all episodes of Saturday Night Live…even though you didn't get most of them… What else have we seen…?" Tom asked himself, though Q answered.

"I think we have seen every movie, TV show, and TV movie ever made. It's time to return to reality."

"Good, I'm finally going home." Tom said. They stood up and started to leave the holodeck.

"Nope, you still have to take care of triplets." Q replied smiling. "You might want to get some rest, babies are a handful. I only had one…though he was a Q and was hard to control. But you, you have three and they don't grow up as fast little Q does. I hope you have fun."

"I hate you." Tom stated.

"Hate is a strong word, Helmboy; I believe its intense dislike." Q said smiling. She disappeared soon after that, leaving Tom to deal with the fact that he would have to deal with triplets.

"And don't forget the sex you're supposed to have with the Captain." Q's disembodied voice said as it echoed around the halls.

Great…Tom thought. I'm in so much trouble.

Soon after Tom thought that, time went back a couple hours and he knew that would be the last time he was going to have fun. Time to get down to business, or at least get some sleep before the babies and the…wife came. Tom could feel the headaches already.