Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you
My soul cries
Sometimes I wonder if there could have still been a chance. There was this one time when I arrived early to class, and he was there.
There were also a few other people, but his eyes were on me.
Is she behind me? I wondered absently. I had half the mind to turn and check, but I knew that she was out with her friends.
He walked up to me. I didn't know how to act.
He leaned down to kiss me..
Heaving heart is full of pain
Oooh, oooh, the aching
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh
I'm kissing you, oooh
I remember thinking, 'No! This isn't right, or fair to the three of you!'
But for a fleeting second, I just stopped trying to avoid him.
I wanted a chance- to know what it would be like to be with him.
Touch me deep, pure and true
Give to me forever
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh
I'm kissing you, oooh
He was so close- and I stopped.
Why did he hesitate?
He's also afraid.
Of what?
Of.. of the consequences. He'd been waiting for her since the start of school- why would he give her up for something so.. irresponsible and impulsive as this?
He wants to know if you feel anything for him at all.
Only an inch separated us.. one agonizing inch.
I made up my mind..
And turned my head away from him at the last minute.
I can't do it- I'd be hurting her.. I hope you understand.
He waited for me to change my mind, the silence painfully stretching between us.
Where are you now
Where are you now
'Cause I'm kissing you
I'm kissing you, oooh
I was blowing my chance- but I decided to do the right thing, to let him be with the girl he's fancied since the start of school.
How much damage would that do anyway?
I didn't change my mind.
He walked away.
I looked at his back, hoping somewhat that he might come back.
He didn't.
--
Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
You love me no longer, I know and
Maybe there is nothing that I can do
To make you do
Dear Merlin, was I staring!
As sad as it was, I was staring.
And at the happy couple, no less.
I could see he was happy.
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
That I ought to stick to another man
A man that surely deserves me
But I think you do
And I wanted to beat myself over the head with Hogwarts: A History for not realizing I loved him sooner.
So I cry, I pray and I beg
Smartest witch of the age, my foot.
Love me, love me, say that you love me
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
Love me, love me, pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
I thought I was smart for not falling for his act- which was a commendable feat.. but denying I had fallen for him was stupid- now I'm alone, having to deal with the heartbreak of unrequited love.
So I cry, and I beg for you to
I can practically see myself with a thousand Crookshanks look-alikes all playing with the balls of yarn I use to knit coverlets for practically everything in my house.
Because I can't imagine not being with him.
Love me, love me, say that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
I can't care 'bout anything but you
I really should get over him- there are bigger things than my love life.
Lately, I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake and I wonder
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
I wouldn't even have one if Voldemort were to defeat Harry.
Reason will not reach a solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
As long as you don't go
"Hermione?" Harry said, lightly tapping my shoulder. "Class is over."
Ron was looking at me strangely.
"What is it, Ron?" I asked him as we walked out of Potions.
"You- you didn't take notes today. At all. And Slughorn didn't mind at all!" he stammered.
"Tell Voldemort or Satan or whoever to buy a pair of ice-skates," I said.
So I cry, I pray and I beg
Love me, love me, say that you love me
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
Love me, love me, pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
"Hermione, we know you still feel bad about the whole thing-" Harry started, but I cut him off.
"Bad is a big understatement, Harry." I said quietly.
"I know Hermione. But my point is, your life is getting ruined by him- would you like that?" he asked me gently, his hand on my chin, making me look him in the eyes.
So I cry, and I beg for you to
Love me, love me, say that you love me
Leave me, leave me, just say that you need me
I can't care 'bout anything but you
Anything but you
I sighed.
"Well, it's payback- he did feel this way before- now I guess it's my turn."
I turned to walk to my dormitory, but not before Ron said,
"So even the smartest can act like fools when in love."
I would normally have slapped him, but the statement stung.
It was true, what he said.
Love me, love me, say that you love me
Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me
Love me, love me, I know that you need me
I can't care 'bout anything but you
--
Graduation day came and I was sulking.
I guess after this I'll just walk away with Harry and Ron and laugh about all our classmates getting emotional.
But for now I had to plaster on a smile and get ready for the speech I was to give.
Oh dear.
I went down to the Heads common room, levitating all my luggage behind me. I set them down there, and took a good last look at the place.
I sighed, and was about to walk out when a he grabbed me by the arm.
Maybe you'll soon
Forget about all
Or maybe you'll miss it like I do
"You wore it," he said quietly.
But one thing's for sure
I'm all knocked out
I spend too much time thinking of you
I nodded. And without a word, I left.
I was wearing the robe that he had spilt a potion on, making a tiny hole in the sleeve. I don't know why I didn't bother fixing it before- how odd.
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know you're the dangerous kind
And your smile is tattooed on my mind
'Cause I can't get you out of my dreams
Maybe it was an unconscious reminder I kept of what was and what could have been.
I don't wanna write
I don't wanna call
I would not know what to say
It should be you
That's how I want it to be
Tell me you feel the same way
If only I didn't keep pushing him away- if only I wasn't so stubborn..
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know you're the dangerous kind
And your smile is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams, oh
But I was.
And now, I only get to see him smile at me, take care of me, love me in my dreams.
Oh yesterday
I was feeling safe
All I do today
is trying to be brave
And no melody can seem to soothe my mind
Now I curse you for being
So sweet and so kind
I'm becoming a mental case.
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know you're the dangerous kind
And your face is tattooed on my mind
'Cause I can't get you out of my dreams
Yes I know you're tattooed
On my mind you're tattooed
--
I don't know what the future has in store for me- all I know is the upcoming war.
If I ever make it alive, I hope to see him again.
--
Hey chicas:P This is the last chapter, as uneventful as it was.. As sad as I am that it's over, I'm also happy- this story took almost 4 years in the making of thought and planning!XD Hahaha:P It took me such a long time to plan everything out.. At first I was thinking of using Draco, and Blaise as the person who 'breaks' them up- but then I fell for fanon Blaise:D Hee:P
What I learned from writing this:
1) It's such a great feeling to let out how you feel.. yup, admitting it- some parts of the story were inspired by real-life experiences:P
2) Reviews are right up there with Harry Potter, Final Fantasy, Chrono Cross, chick lit, chocolate, smileys, music and my laptop as one of my favorite things ever.:D
3)When writing fanfiction, try to stay grounded to the facts you already have- make up too much and you get lost eventually (as proven in Blast to the Past).
Sigh.. I'm so so sad it's over; it's going to take dozens of chocolate and chick lit to get me through this and PMS- how sad. Wahahaha!XD
Songs Used In Lovefool, in order of appearance/AKA the soundtrackXD:
Witch Doctor- Alvin and the Chipmunks
I Think I'm Paranoid- Garbage
I Can't Smile Without You- Barry Manilow
One of These Days- Michelle Branch
C is for Cookie- Cookie Monster
Nations of the World- Yakko
Perfect Moment- Martine McCutcheon
Kissing a Fool- George Michael
Fall Again- Glenn Lewis
Do You Only Wanna Dance- Mya
Kissing You- Des'ree
Lovefool- the Cardigans
Tattooed on My Mind- D'Sound
Reviews!
Un Petit Diable: Yeah I thought it was really depressing, a bit like how you feel when you watch The Virgin Suicides.. but it feels good in some way, because you feel:) and I also really love angst- one of my favorite genres ever:P
Padfoot's Sidekick: Now you know what happened- please don't forget to read the sequel:D
Queen of Serpents: I'm really sorry about not responding to your review.. I'm working on the sequel, and it'll be out soon:D
Black-rose23: I used to dance a bit, but I'm a teeny bit ashamed to say that I ripped the moves off Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights:P
Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, namely
Un Petit Diable, Padfoot's Sidekick, Queen of Serpents, Black-rose23, Monnbeam, animerocksjapanrocks, emptyli'lfirefly, Hawaiian-Rachael, rent-serenity, IsInGcAuZeIlUv2, Prof. M, and Dagmara:D
An especially big thanks to Un Petit Diable, Padfoot's Sidekick, and Queen of Serpents- I wouldn't have finished this without their never-ending support:)
Please drop a line- letting me know how you felt about the story, how it turned out, if there's anything I can work on for the sequel.. you know:P
And please check out the sequel- coming soon!XD It's tentative (but 93 percent positive) title is Iris, coming out in a week.. I'll PM you all, because that's how dedicated I am, hehe:P Love you all and see you in the sequeeel:)