Hey, isn't this pretty fast for an update? Ha, ha! I'm so pleased with myself! Okay – let's forget about me and get on with the story.
I realized there might be some confusion about the first chapter, about the flights from mainland to Hokkaido. You see, there is no direct flight from mainland to Northern Hokkaido. You have to take another plane. A bit troublesome, but it's worth it! I went to Sapporo once. It was really, really nice! But it was freezing! It was the autumn season.
Anyway, that aside…this is the next chapter! It doesn't have many Japanese words except for the title, I think, so yeah, that's about it…
Enjoy! (Don't forget to review! I LIVE on reviews!)
Shiawase
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Chapter 2: Koukishin
---
Naruto spent the rest of his day far away from that room, from that miserable boy sitting on the bed, unmoving.
I know he's handicapped and all, but how can he like being cooped up in there like that?He was currently in the barn, playing fetch with Rosshi. Then, Iruka came out of the clinic and walked over to him.
"Naruto, it's cold – why don't you go put on your jacket?" he said.
"It's fine," Naruto replied. "I'm just…feeling kind of choked."
"Is it because of Sasuke?"
"Hmm…maa na."
"You shouldn't worry yourself so," Iruka smiled, though Naruto could see right through him. "Kakashi is a great doctor. He can find a cure."
"Cure?" Naruto's ears perked up. Sasuke can be healed?
"Hey, don't look so hopeful!" Iruka said, not wanting to give Naruto false hope. "It's not as easy as it sounds. Kakashi's been working on it for ten years already. Even the hospital people try. But nothing seems to work just yet."
"You mean there's no operation to cure Sasuke?" Naruto almost yelled.
"It's not that there is no operation," Kakashi said, walking to them, a stack of papers under his arm. "It's the fact that he's too weak to go through the operation."
"Weak?" Naruto inquired.
"His body is too weak to go for the operation," Kakashi said. "These things are caused by the lack of food and so on. He doesn't eat enough, even with the medicine."
Still, if he eats enough, he can go for the operation…right? "But if he eats enough, and he gets strong enough, he can go for the operation?"
"Maa, kanose wa zero ja nai," Kakashi said. "You doubt the world of medical science, Naruto."
"And if he goes for the operation, he can be cured, right?" Naruto asked, hope shining into his voice.
"Well…possible," Kakashi said. "Naruto, kitta nakatta no? Kanose wa zero ja nai yo."
"Then I'll help him eat a lot of food, so that he can grow stronger!" Naruto grinned. "And then he can go for the operation, and we'll be best buddies!"
Kakashi frowned. "You can try. But I assure you, Naruto – sweet talk isn't how you get Sasuke to eat and drink."
"Huh?"
"Naruto, Sasuke doesn't eat by himself," Iruka sighed. "We have to help him. Sometimes, it's hard for us, too. All of this is because Sasuke doesn't know what food is, and sometimes things don't seem different to him – like they're all the same. So it's really hard for him, and for us."
Hmm…I'll try!---
They had dinner together. Kakashi finished his food in two minutes, then grabbed a plate of food and several medical instruments and went upstairs to Sasuke.
"Naruto, if you don't mind, you have to walk to school," Iruka said. "Sometimes, if Kakashi is free, he can use the truck to drive you, of course."
"Iruka, I'm not some kind of brat who needs a chauffeur," Naruto said pointedly. "Please don't worry yourself with me."
"Alright," Iruka said with a sigh. "Naruto, your father and mother entrusted me to look after you. You must understand that. If anything happens to you, I'll be held responsible. And you're my only nephew – I want to take good care of you while you're here."
Naruto sighed, and nodded. "I'm just going upstairs for now. I'm tired."
"Yes, go get some rest," Iruka said, smiling.
Naruto gave a half-hearted grin and trudged upstairs, exhausted by the day's activities. Who wouldn't be, after doing so many things?
In his room, Kakashi had just finished. To Naruto's near horror, Sasuke was lying on the bed on his side, the blanket hanging off his hips. The poor boy was breathing harshly, and coated in a sheen of sweat.
"What did you do to him!" Naruto yelled, running into the room in a fit of blinded rage. He looked at Sasuke, staring into the nothingness ahead, trying to catch his breath. He glared at Kakashi. "What did you do to him!"
Kakashi wiped his hands together and cleared his things on the side table. Naruto saw an injector, a half-filled bowl of food, and an empty bottle of what was most probably medicine.
"I was keeping him alive," Kakashi said simply, taking off his surgical gloves.
Naruto brandished an angry hand at Sasuke. "You call this keeping him alive?!"
Kakashi's eyes flashed anger for a moment, before he seemed to let it go. "You don't understand." He shook his head, took his things and left the room.
Naruto could not resist shouting after him, "What do I not understand, huh!"
There was no sharp reply from Kakashi. It seemed that the silver-haired man had given up arguing with Naruto. The angry blond marched to the door and slammed it shut. There was a bitter sense of thankfulness that Sasuke couldn't hear the appalling loud slam. Naruto grabbed the chair and dragged it next to the bed.
He sat on the bedside and pulled Sasuke onto his lap and wrapped his arms around the small shaking frame of the boy. He expected Iruka to come up any second, to ask what was wrong.
And he was right.
The mother hen burst in five seconds later. "Naruto, what's wrong? What happened?"
"Ask that boyfriend of yours what happened!" Naruto shot angry, holding Sasuke protectively against him. He tightened his hold. When he saw Sasuke whimpering silently, he loosened his death grip slightly. Naruto sighed. "Nothing happened, Iruka. Really."
"But you were shouting at Kakashi – and Kakashi seemed rather angry just now," Iruka said. "Did you guys quarrel?"
"Iruka, really – it's nothing," Naruto said, smiling in an assured manner.
"Okay…um, Naruto?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't get mad at Kakashi because of Sasuke. Kakashi's just doing what he has to. It breaks his heart every time he has to force-feed Sasuke."
With that, Iruka left the room without another word, leaving Naruto to gape after him.
---
That night, Naruto locked the room door firmly from the inside. They could open it from outside anyway, but he just wanted to lock it, for some strange reason. Then, he went to check on Sasuke. The boy was more or less sleeping already. Naruto drew the blankets up on his small form, and caressed Sasuke's cheek slightly. He felt a strange sense of possessiveness, a strange will to protect this boy.
It's alright, Sasuke…I won't let anyone hurt you…
He took a quick shower and threw on his pajamas and his walrus sleeping cap. After that, he crawled into Sasuke's bed and made himself comfortable. To his surprise, he felt the boy next to him curl up and bury his face into his chest. Naruto yawned and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, holding the younger boy tight.
---
Iruka frowned at Kakashi. "You needn't have been so…"
"So what, Iruka?" Kakashi interjected. "I said nothing to him. He got angry on his own accord."
"Yes, but you should've explained…"
"There's no need for me to explain myself, Iruka. I am doing this for Sasuke. It already hurts doing this to a boy I claim is my son…I don't have enough heart to even explain it."
"But if you don't," Iruka sighed. "Naruto will never forgive you. He's a strong-willed boy."
"There's a time to be a hero and a time where you just have to know that you're helpless," Kakashi ran a hand through his hair. Iruka noticed the faint dark bags under the man's eyes.
"You've been staying up late studying again, haven't you?" Iruka asked quietly.
Kakashi said nothing.
"You don't have to, Kakashi."
"He's…he's fading, Iruka," Kakashi buried his face in his hands. "I know…I just know…last time he would still move…still play around…but now…he gets so many of…of those…and he's just…"
Iruka wrapped his arms around Kakashi and buried his face into the crook of the man's shoulder. "Kakashi, no matter what, Sasuke will pull through. He's done the same these eleven years. Nobody believed he would live, but he did. All because of you, Kakashi…because of your love and care for him…"
"No…he came this far on his own," Kakashi whispered, returning the hug. "Only Sasuke could have gotten himself here…"
"But what matters is, Kakashi," Iruka smiled gently at the older man. "He's still alive. He isn't going to die yet."
---
The two older men decided to go check on the boys. To their utmost surprise, they found the door locked.
"Naruto must be really angry," Iruka said, searching his pocket for the keys. He unlocked the door and pushed it open.
The room was dark and no sound was heard, except for the very faint vibration of slow and gentle human breaths. Iruka took a step forward, taking special care to note if Sasuke was somewhere around the floor. He knew that sometimes, the ebony-haired boy would sleep in the day and walk around a little bit at night, before going to sleep again. Well, he didn't walk – he crawled because it was easier for him not to get hit by the things surrounding him, despite the lack of ornaments and furniture in the room.
The curtains were pushed aside, so spills of gentle moonlight fell on the bed. Iruka gave a little gasp when he saw the two boys curled up against each other.
Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder, and led him out.
Once they were outside, Kakashi just shook his head and said, "Naruto is going to get himself hurt in the end."
---
The next morning, Naruto awoke to a warmth next to him, and soft breath blowing against his neck. He opened his eyes slowly and saw Sasuke's face buried into the crook of his neck, the small boy curled up against him. The gentle scent of apples reached him, and he buried his nose into Sasuke's soft ebony hair, taking in that sweet scent. Sasuke was obviously still asleep. His breathing was still slow and regulated.
Naruto didn't want to move – not yet, anyway. He didn't want to wake the gently sleeping boy next to him just yet.
He looks even more fragile…
Naruto laid down for ten minutes more, before stretching. He looked at the clock. It was six-fifty. He gently eased Sasuke away from him and then carefully got off the bed. None of his actions woke the other boy.
He tiptoed to the closet and grabbed a white shirt, a orange and white jacket and brown khakis. Then, he went to the bathroom.
---
Kakashi and Iruka were already downstairs eating breakfast. Kakashi was flipping through the daily newspaper while drinking coffee, not even fathoming the fact that Naruto had entered the kitchen. Iruka gave Naruto a cheerful, "good morning" and went on eating his breakfast after Naruto returned the greeting.
Naruto took a hot bun from his plate, pealed off a bit, and threw it into his mouth, chewing.
"How does it taste?" Iruka asked with a smile, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"Great," Naruto grinned. "Who baked it?"
"I did," Iruka said.
"Wow, you really do make a good mom," Naruto smirked.
"Oh, please! Keep your jokes out of breakfast!" Iruka laughed. "It's the most important meal of the day, you know! And today's Saturday, so we're going to open the clinic. Sorry if you might feel a little left out or lonely…"
"He's fine by himself," Kakashi cut through the silence, turning a page in the newspaper. "You shouldn't treat him like a kid, Iruka." His voice was not joking, not smiling.
Jeez, I think we hit it off real badly because of last night! Naruto thought. He was a bit afraid. After all, Kakashi was a rather intimidating guy.
"Kakashi!" Iruka said, almost angrily. "Don't use that kind of tone! He hasn't done anything wrong!"
Kakashi said nothing. He just folded his newspaper and stood up. He walked to one of the cupboards in the kitchen and took out a bowl. He went to another cupboard and grabbed a bottle of clear liquid. It looked like the one from last night. He walked back to the kitchen table and threw two buns into the bowl and grabbed a bottle of milk and put it next to it. He looked at Naruto straight in the eye.
Why…why is he looking at me like that!
"Take this to Sasuke," Kakashi pushed the load to him. "And make sure he eats everything." He pointed to the bottle of liquid. "He has to drink all of this, too." With that, Kakashi left the kitchen without another word.
"Why is he doing this?" Naruto asked Iruka immediately after Kakashi left.
"Well, he wasn't…too happy with you about last night," Iruka said, shifting nervously. "I mean, you were angry with him and all…he felt offended, I guess…it wasn't his fault he had to treat Sasuke like that…"
"But he hurt Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed. And nobody will get away with that while I'm here!
"You'll see," Iruka said. He cast a nervous glance at the window. Naruto saw that the silver-haired man was heading for the clinic. "You better hurry and take those to Sasuke and get him to eat. If you can't, call me quickly and I'll help you. It won't be pretty if Kakashi comes back and finds out you haven't done it."
"Is he…daring me or something?" Naruto asked.
"No. He's trying to prove something to you."
---
Naruto went upstairs with the things in his hand. He noticed there wasn't the little injector he saw Kakashi use last night. But he didn't mind. He could get Sasuke to eat and drink these things the normal way.
He set the pile on the floor next to the bed and gently shook Sasuke.
"Sasuke," he called out gently, even though he knew the other couldn't hear him. "Sasuke, wake up."
Sasuke woke up and blinked a few times, his unseeing eyes dazed and unfocused. Naruto gently helped the boy sit up and then lifted the abnormally light boy off the bed and gently put him onto the floor.
Naruto knew Sasuke was still drowsy with sleep, so he let the smaller boy lean against him. Sasuke was sitting on Naruto's lap and his head moved about every now and then, as if trying to catch a sound he couldn't hear.
Naruto took the bottle of milk and opened it. He brought it to Sasuke's lips. "Drink it, Sasuke. Drink it." But Sasuke refused to drink it. Even worse, he shook his head wildly, backing away from the cool glass. Sasuke may have lost a good number of his senses, but his sense of touch was there and was most probably intensified to make up for his many disabilities.
Why won't he drink? Naruto decided to find another alternative. He took out the two buns and set them on the bottle of liquid, one on top of the other. Then, he poured some of the milk into the bowl. He brought the bowl to Sasuke again and pressed it against the other boy's lips. "Drink it, Sasuke! Drink it!"
This time, Sasuke thrashed wildly. He jerked away sharply from the bowl and caused Naruto to almost lose his hold. At least a bit of milk splattered on the floor only.
"Sasuke, why won't you drink?" Naruto whispered to himself. He can't see the milk…he doesn't know what it is…
He was about to lift the bowl again when a hand stopped him in midair. Naruto looked up to stare into the single eye of Hatake Kakashi.
---
"Kakashi, don't be so hard on him," Iruka begged.
"He doesn't see reason," Kakashi said calmly. "I'll just make him see it."
"But he's…he's a very persevering boy! Even if you tell him, he won't accept it…"
"Then I'll make him accept it."
"Kakashi, please! He's only a boy…he's only 14! What does he know?" Iruka said desperately. "He doesn't understand Sasuke yet…but he tries! So, please…Kakashi…don't be hard on him. Naruto's a good kid. And he only wants to help. He didn't mean to shout at you last night, I'm sure…but it was only because he didn't understand…"
"But he thinks he does," Kakashi let out a heavy sigh. He leaned forward and hugged Iruka and whispered into his ear, "Alright. Even without you telling me, I won't be hard on him. He's only trying to help because he feels sorry for Sasuke…just like you and me. I know he's a good a kid…he has that look in his eyes, and he truly and really wants to help Sasuke…but he doesn't understand, Iruka…if he doesn't understand now, it'll be so much more painful and hurtful for him in the end…you and I both know Sasuke isn't going to last…"
"Yes…" Iruka buried his face into Kakashi's shoulder. "I know."
But I just want to keep believing he will.
---
"What?" Naruto asked sharply.
"That isn't the way to do it," Kakashi said calmly.
"You're going to hurt him like last night?" Naruto demanded.
"No, I'm going to help him like last night."
"Do you know how tired he was!" Naruto yelled in anger. How can he not understand? He's Sasuke's father!
"I know the exhaustion he gets," Kakashi said. "And the medicine itself has side-effects. Don't you wonder why Sasuke sleeps so much?"
"Then don't force him! Don't bully him! Don't make him tired!"
The reaction from the older man was completely unexpected. Kakashi grabbed Naruto's shoulders and shook him. "Think about what we can do for him! If he doesn't eat, he'll die! You've just seen this – you've just tried making him drink, but he won't! To him, food and liquid are the same, just some odd thing that he doesn't comprehend. Do you know how this started? Do you, Naruto? When he was young, he refused to eat! I had to force him then, and now, he's grown more afraid of this! But there's nothing we can do! This is the only thing that can keep him alive! For goodness's sake, Naruto – you're a really nice kid and I don't want to do this with you!"
Naruto was speechless. Kakashi caught him completely off-guard with his sudden shouting.
Kakashi let go of Naruto and looked away. "You understand now, right?" then, he took Sasuke from Naruto and held the boy's jaw firmly. Next, he took the same injector from last night out of his pocket and put it into the bowl of milk, sucking some of the white liquid up.
After that, much to Naruto's horror, he forced the thing into Sasuke's mouth and shoved the plunger of the injector roughly, spewing the liquid into Sasuke's mouth.
The smaller boy writhed and squirmed, fighting and thrashing furiously, trying to get out of the death grip. Milk trickled down his mouth as he fought furiously to get away. Naruto watched, helpless and in horror.
"To him, milk is just some odd liquid," Kakashi said, filling the injector again and bringing it to Sasuke's mouth once more. "He can't even smell it properly."
Naruto just watched, clenching his fists.
He was beginning to dislike knowing more about Sasuke's painful life.
---
Iruka was waiting for him with a worried look on his face at the base of the staircase.
"Naruto?" Iruka asked unsurely.
"Oh, Iruka," Naruto put on his trademark grin again. "What's up?"
"Oh, err…um, nothing," Iruka said hurriedly. "Um…is everything alright?"
"Why wouldn't it be?" Naruto said cheerfully. "Ja, Iruka – I'm going to have a look at the animals again. Kakashi says he'll be down after he's finished."
With that, Naruto hurriedly left the house and ran to the barn. He really couldn't stand this anymore. He couldn't bear to see Sasuke struggle.
"This is the only thing keeping him alive!"
No…it can't be…if somebody tries hard enough, we won't have to force him…right?
"Naruto, just go ahead and do what you believe is right."
Something clicked in Naruto's mind. Yes! That's right! The words of his father.
The words of Uzumaki Arashi.
---
Kakashi put Sasuke to bed after his force-feeding him. The boy was losing weight. Each day he ate lesser and lesser. Kakashi just couldn't bear to force the young boy to eat. It was just…too hard.
The boy lay on the bed now, fast asleep.
Tch…he's always sleeping…damn the side-effects…
Because Sasuke ate lesser of solid food, the amount of liquid food had to be increased, and the medicine had a strong drowsing side-effect. Sasuke got tired more easily, and slept for long periods, even daytime. Kakashi didn't like it. And it hurt so much more now that he had to compare Sasuke with Naruto.
Loud-mouthed, active Naruto and sick, exhausted Sasuke.
Kakashi shook his head and went downstairs.
Life wasn't fair.
---
Naruto never ran so fast in his alive. He dashed from the barn to the house at full speed.
I have to tell him!
---
"Kakashi…" Iruka said softly.
Kakashi turned away.
"How is he?" Iruka asked quietly.
"Overdose of that medicine isn't good for him, Iruka…we both know that…" Kakashi said wearily. "But it's the only thing we can do…for now."
"I know what you're thinking," Iruka said, his eyes suddenly hard. "Mercy killing."
Kakashi said nothing.
"If…if your father were alive," Iruka said. Kakashi's eyes flashed rage. Iruka must've been feeling very brave…hardly anyone dared to mention Kakashi's father to him. "He'd…he'd definitely say, "You're a doctor right? Isn't your job to save lives?" Isn't that right, Kakashi? Kakashi!"
Tch…he's right…and I know it…but I just…can't.
"You became a doctor to help people, didn't you?" Iruka shouted. "Isn't that right? Kakashi, Sasuke is more than a patient to you! He's the boy you said you'd look after! How can you just…just…"
"Just what, Iruka?"
To the two men's horror, Naruto had just come into the room, his face similar to black thunder.
"Just what, Iruka?" Naruto repeated, glaring at the both of them. He turned to Kakashi and glared at the man solely. "How can you just what?"
"N-Naruto…" Iruka said, looking away. "What did you…hear?"
"Everything I needed to know," Naruto said. "And you can listen here, Kakashi." He glared angrily at the silver-haired man. "Sasuke is not an animal. He's human. And no human, whether brain-dead or deaf or blind or whatever, deserves to die. Sasuke doesn't deserve to die. And while I'm here, he's not going to die."
"So what's best for Sasuke?" Kakashi asked quietly. "What's best for him, Naruto? Do you know how painful it is to see him suffering? I'm sorry to ruin your stay here, Naruto – but this is the truth. We're losing Sasuke. Sometimes, Naruto – dying is best."
Naruto glared at Kakashi.
"I'm cutting down the amount of pain he has to feel. I'm only doing what's right, Naruto."
"Naruto, just go ahead and do what you believe is right."
Kakashi thinks this is…right?
"I'm going to a client's place to collect something," Kakashi said, walking out of the kitchen. "That'll take a whole two days. Tell me your answer when I come back."
With that, he left.
---
How was that? How was that:3 was it good enough? Please review and tell me!
Oh, and 'Koukishin' means 'curiosity'. I was thinking about Naruto being curious to find out more about Sasuke.
'Maa na' is like saying, 'well, yeah…' but somehow it sounds nicer in Japanese, ne? XP
Oh, and right… 'Kanose wa zero ja nai' means 'the possibility/chances are not zero'.
'Kitta nakatta' means 'didn't you hear?' I actually want to write this in English, but it looks weird with a half English half Japanese sentence, haha…
Don't forget to review!!