AN: I'm trying to make this story as believable as possible. It's mainly from April's point of view (hey, it's her journal after all) and I don't claim to have a definite understanding of how someone would think in her situation, so some things may be off. But, I'll give it my best shot. And besides, that's the beauty of writing about her: you can't easily make her out of character. We don't really know it, do we?

May 9, 1988

For so many people, it takes some time before you start to understand what make them tick, to use an old saying. But it's not like that with Emily. That's something I started learning on my first morning at the Center. With her, you can start seeing what kind of person she is the very day you meet her, just by watching how she acts around the children of the Center, among other things.

Flashback

April slowly opened her eyes upon feeling something cold and wet on her cheek. As a result, the very first thing she saw was two tiny black eyes in her face. Letting out a surprised scream, she pushed herself to the edge of the roll-away bed to try and get away from the small black pig that was sticking its snout into the bed sheets. At that moment, an amused laugh caused April to look up to see Emily watching in the doorway, holding a serving tray.

"I see you've met Wenchey," she laughed.

"Wenchey?"

"Yes. Short for Wenceslas," Emily continued, placing the serving tray on the wire and cable spool-turned-table and taking a seat at the foot of the roll-away, where she began to scratch the pig's ears. "Do you want to pet him?"

"No! Pigs are filthy and dirty! And stupid!"

"Yeah," Emily chuckled. "And AIDS is just a gay black disease." April looked up sharply at Emily's words, but she didn't appear to notice. "Any other stereotypes you'd like to dabble into? Because I'm game if you are. Pigs, despite the narrow-minded assumptions so many people have, are actually very clean, affectionate animals. And they're highly intelligent. In fact, studies show they're actually the fifth most intelligent animal on Earth, after humans, monkeys, dolphins, and whales. I obviously can't have a dolphin or whale as a pet, and Nana's allergic to monkeys. So, the pig was the top choice."

"Um… why'd you mention AIDS?" April asked in worry. Did Emily figure out?

"It was just the first example that came to mind. And this is the best place in the city to debunk the AIDS stereotype. No one here did anything to get it. Their only crime was being born."

"What are you talking about?"

"The children who live here, April." Emily replied seriously. "Half of them were born with the AIDS virus."

"WHAT!" April gaped. "But... but they're only kids."

"Precisely. AIDS does not discriminate. It makes no differentiation between black or white, rich or poor, male or female, young or old. Didn't you learn about it in school? Or in the papers?"

"I…" April looked away. "So, does that mean… you have it too?"

"Me? No… not me. I just look after the children who do. Zack, on the other hand…."

"Zack?" April blinked. Emily suddenly looked as if she believed herself to have said too much.

"Yes, well," she cleared her throat, changing the subject rapidly, gesturing to the serving tray. "You should eat. You will need all the strength you can get today. We're scheduled to take the kids to the park after breakfast. And Rupert and Jerry are always bursting with energy on those days." April gave a wary smile, looking at the contents on the tray. She could easily identify the glass of orange juice and buttered toast, but she could not figure out what the lumpy whitish-yellow substance that filled the plate was.

"Uh, Emily? What is…?"

"Cornmeal mush."

"Ah… I'm not hungry, thanks," April laughed nervously. Emily cast her a serious look, the type a parent would give a fussy two-year-old.

"Have you ever tried it?"

"I… no."

"Then how do you know you don't like it, if you've never tried it?" After a momentary pause, April forced herself to eat. She had to admit it wasn't half-bad. "There, see? You better hurry and get dressed, though. Not to be pushy, but it's best to bring the children out before lunch. Otherwise, they won't be tired at their naptimes." April instantly froze, remembering. She had never packed any of her clothes when she went to the bus station. She slowly explained this to Emily. "I see," Emily nodded in understanding. "Stand up."

"What?"

"Just trust me." Once she had stood up, Emily placed her hands on April's shoulders, and began to size her up. "Yes. I'd say you and I are about the same size and build. My clothes should fit you. It's no trouble, believe me. But… they might be a little more conservative then what you might be used to." April smiled weakly, realizing that Emily was remembering the spaghetti strap tank-top and mini skirt she had worn upon arriving at the Center yesterday.

Shortly afterward, April and Emily had arrived in Tompkins Square Park and sat at a bench to watch the children play. On the way down, the children had all paired off and had followed them to the park like ducklings. All except one five-year-old girl who had strawberry blond hair and a thin line of freckles passing over the bridge of her nose. This girl had walked right next to Emily and April, holding Emily's middle and index finger in her little hand. The second they all had arrived at the park, Emily had even ruffled the small girl's hair before sending her off to play with the others. As they sat, April glanced down at the clothes Emily had let her borrow. It was a pair of blue jeans and a red and white striped shirt. As Emily had predicted, they were a little roomier then she was used to, but all the same, April was thankful for the long sleeves. They helped cover the track marks on her arms.

The second April thought about her track marks, she gingerly started rubbing at the veins through the shirt sleeves. It had been a while since her last hit, and she was starting to get a craving. The Man should be around here somewhere, but should she risk looking with Emily and the children right there?

"That little one with the freckles seems to really like you, Emily," April noted, trying to get the thoughts of shooting up out of her head.

"I should hope so. She is going to be my daughter someday." Emily announced, reaching into the shoulder bag, and taking out a 35mm camera. "I'm going to adopt Penny, once I meet or figure out how to bypass the adoption criteria. I've already made an agreement with Nana on the subject." Without another word, Emily began taking pictures of the trees in the park.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh. Just taking pictures. I'm an amateur nature photographer."

"Do you bring that thing to the park with the kids all the time, or is this a special occasion?"

"Well you don't expect me to leave it behind, do you? What if I happen across a rock dove nest? How often are you going to get the chance to take a picture of a newly-hatched rock dove? There's no way I'm going to take the risk of that chance passing me by." April, after a brief hesitation, started to laugh, the very first laugh she had let out since her test results had came back.

"What's so funny?"

"You… you really should meet this friend of mine, Emily. I think the two of you would hit it off very well."

"Hmm. Yes. Tell me about your friends. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I'm not here to pressure you. I'm just trying to piece your story together so we can better understand each other. You said you wanted to go visit your parents, is that right?" April looked down at her feet. She was still worried about telling Emily, but she knew she shouldn't have to be. After all, she understood about AIDS, right? She looked after children with it, right?

"Well, I'm…" Before April could continue, Emily frowned and pointed a finger at something over her shoulder.

"Rupert, Jerry! Don't eat out of the garbage! You'll die!" Emily shouted before directing her attention back to April. "Sorry about that. But you really have to watch those two closely. Otherwise, there's no telling what kind of mischief they'll get into. Now, what were you saying?" April sighed, trying to think of some good place to begin.

"You see… I… well…."

"Hey, is something wrong with your arm?" Emily interrupted. "You keep rubbing it."

"No!" April jumped as Emily reached out to take a look, concern evident on her face. "No, it's nothing. It's…"

"If it's nothing, you wouldn't be rubbing your arm like that," Emily pointed out persistently. When April started to back away, Emily reached out with surprising speed and took April's wrist firmly but gently before pushing back the sleeve. For a brief moment, Emily studied the track marks on April's arm, her face absent of expression. "Well," she nodded finally. "That explains a lot."

"I suppose you're going to kick me out of the Center, then," April started to leave.

"What are you talking about, April?" Emily asked in a casual air, as if the only thing she had done wrong was break a window. "We're not going to force you into the streets on the basis of a drug addiction."

"But… I'm…"

"April, you're a drug addict, right? Addicts are physically dependent on the drugs. Their primary purpose in life is seeking and using drugs, which cloud all judgment. When you think about it, addiction is like a sickness. It's not the Center's way to cast out people with such a serious illness. Maybe you didn't know. In addition to AIDS babies, half the children that are brought to our doors are born with drug addictions. I told you last night, April. There's nothing you can possibly say that would surprise me. It's not my place to judge others. It never has been, and it never will be. Now, sit back down. I want to hear everything. And I guarantee, whatever you say, it will not make me think poorly of you." April hesitated for a brief moment before collapsing on the bench, spilling out everything. The night she met Roger, the day she moved in with him, how they both started using heroin, and finally, April's diagnosis.

"What if he's got it too?" April moaned, tears beginning to fall. "I would have killed him! It would be my fault!" Emily, to April's surprise and gratitude, had listened to the entire story quietly, with a comforting hand squeezing her shoulder every so often to urge her to continue. But when April stated how she felt it was her fault, Emily pulled away, a distant look on her face. "I knew you'd blame me," April wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"No. I'm not." Emily whispered. "It's just that… hearing you blaming yourself… you reminded me of someone."

"Who?"

"Me." April blinked in confusion. Forcing a smile, Emily told April her story, about her brother, Zack, and how he had got infected with AIDS while protecting her from the Rat Fang Gang, and how Emily had placed the blame of Zack's death upon herself for the longest time. "So you see, April? You and I have more in common then you thought."

"Except, you don't have…."

"No, but I can partially relate. With AIDS, your immune system is depleted until you can be killed by something as mundane as a common cold. As for me, I'm a diabetic. I can be killed by something as mundane as sugar. There's something else we have in common. Our greatest enemy is the mundane." April couldn't help herself. She had to laugh along with Emily. For the first time since receiving her test results, April didn't feel like someone with a death sentence.

"All right, everyone," Emily suddenly called out to the children, checking her watch. "Straight line." The children all obeyed instantly, and Emily began counting heads. "One, two, three, four, five, six, sev… Rupert! Jerry! If you do that to the poor little frog again, there will be no pudding with your dinner tonight!" April looked over at Rupert, a small Asian boy, and Jerry, another boy of Native American decent, who apparently had been poking a small bullfrog's eardrum with a twig. The second Emily scolded them, the two boys instantly looked up at Emily, both displaying a deer-in-headlights expression. Slowly, they placed the bullfrog on the ground, and it hopped off. "That's better." The contented smile returned to Emily's face instantly, and she continued to count heads. Once she was done, she passed out another order. "Okay, then. Looks like everybody's present and accounted for. Now everyone, hold on to your buddy's hand, and stay together." April watched as the children paired off like they had done before leaving the Center. And, like before, Penny moved over to Emily to walk back at her side.

End Flashback

I said it before, you can start seeing what kind of person Emily is the very day you meet her. If I had to sum her up in one word, it would be 'maternal'. Because she's just like a mother, a mother to the children and even to people she'd barely met, with a pair of shoulders custom made to cry on. I wish I'd known someone like her growing up. Perhaps then, I might not have ended up where I am now.

Once we got back at the Center, Emily convinced me to talk with Nana about my heroin addiction, as well as the AIDS. Nana told me that she and Emily would both be willing to help me out, and that I didn't need to keep it a secret since they both had a great deal of practice in helping out someone like me all because of the kids in their care. Now I think I understand what that woman meant at the bus station. I really do fit in here.

AN: A little additional warning. I'm not expecting this to be my best work. It could get a little jumbled. (I already know where I'm going with this story. It's getting there that's going to be challenging.) So, you might have to bear with me, and I apologize in advance if this story starts getting bad. So, until next time...