It was almost amusing, really, in a bitter sort of way. Her heart ached everytime she saw them together, and yet - another part of her almost felt content. Kagome couldn't figure out why those two sides of her were constantly battling it out, the one that yearned for Inuyasha to be her's and only her's, and the one that yearned for Inuyasha to be Kikyou's. Because deep, deep down inside of herself, Kagome knew that even if Inuyasha did somehow love her, he would always long for Kikyou, everytime he looked at Kagome, he would see Kikyou. And Kagome didn't want to be with him just because he saw her as the living image of the woman he still loved with almost every fiber that made up his pained heart.
She hoped that those particular tiny particles still within Inuyasha's heart belonged to her, and she knew that was selfish but love is selfish, and no one could blame her for wanting that. She deserved at least that much, after all, didn't she?At first, Kagome had felt completely and utterly cold towards Kikyou. Kikyou was better than her in everything, in looks, in skill, in strength - everything. But, then Kagome soon quickly realized that, unlike how much she wanted to believe Kikyou was perfect just so she could blame someone, anyone, for taking the only one she'd ever loved away from her - she knew that Kikyou was not, and Kagome could no longer blame her. Love was no one's fault, and even the darkest love could be pure in some way.
Kagome had also quickly realized, with much surprise, that Kikyou had felt that same bitter, hurtful envy torwards her."You kissed him," Kikyou stated impassively, staring at her with those cold, analyzing eyes.
"Yeah," Kagome said, nodding slightly. "I did."
She turned her head, images flashing through her mind. Kikyou had been referring to the short kiss she and Inuyasha had shared a few moments ago. Though brief, it had made her lips tingle and her heart flutter wildly in her chest, sudden desire blooming inside her.
Kikyou just continued to stare at Kagome, almost as if she were trying to burn a hole into her soul. "Tell me, what do Inuyasha's lips feel like? It has been so long, and I can't remember..."
Kagome looked up at her, surprised. "But...you've kissed him before too, recently. Remember--"
"Yes, but...I can't feel anything when I do," Kikyou explained, cutting her off. "I feel no emotion within the kiss, no warmth or passion. It's...hard to explain." She hesitated.
"Oh, I think I understand," Kagome replied quietly. Her eyes scanned the woman before her, seeing something flash within her own brown orbs, an emotion Kagome had never seen Kikyou express. She felt a slight stinging in her heart.
"They're warm, and soft, and it's like a sudden peaceful, watery sensation floods through you the same time that a fire lights up," she described in a gentle voice, still staring at Kikyou. She was greatly surprised to see a slight smile find its way on Kikyou's face as she brought a pale hand up to touch her own lips.
"I think I remember now." The usual ice that covered the surface of the colour in Kikyou's eyes seemed to melt a little, as her gaze softened.
There was a short silence that fell between them, as both women continued to just think, getting lost within the webs of their minds.
Kagome swallowed. "Kikyou, I wanted to apologize..."
"That's why you came here, isn't it? You wanted to find me, for you felt pity and remorse, you felt sorry for the way you perceived me before, correct?" Kikyou cut her off, anger now residing in her voice. "I desire no apology, and I don't want your pity. Be on your way now."
She bit her lip. "Okay, if...that's what you want, I'll leave you alone, but at least let me finish what I was going to say."
Kikyou looked her over briefly, wondering what exactly her motives were. After much contemplating, she finally gave a short nod.
Kagome took a deep breath. "I didn't come here to apologize because I feel sorry for you, I mean...pity really does nothing, right?" When Kikyou didn't say anything, she continued.
"I came here to apologize for ever doubting your love for Inuyasha. I understand now, more than I ever did before, that you two belong together... I mean I don't know if it's fate or anything obviously, but the way I see it, people should be able to make their own fate." She smiled softly, the words coming to her easier now.
"But I'm not gonna lie, half the time I don't get the things you do at all...but I truly believe that you do all those things for a reason, and not for cruelty, not for revenge, like I used to believe and even you yourself believe."
Kikyou stared with wide eyes, shock clearly evident.
"You don't want to kill Inuyasha for revenge, nor do you want him to go to Hell with you out of vengeance, either, do you? You want him to go to Hell with you because you believe that's the only way that you two could ever be together, right? Because naturally, two lost souls don't even belong on Earth...so they probably shouldn't even be together. But I think that sometimes, there's exceptions, and I believe that this time is one of those exceptions."
Kagome inhaled deeply, not exhaling as she waited for Kikyou's reaction.
Kikyou didn't say anything for a long time. She had her head down, staring at nature's floor, emotions racing through her. Finally, she opened her mouth to speak.
"I loved Inuyasha...and I still do. I never could understand why, and I never thought it right. But it felt right, and both of those reasons constantly fought inside of myself, and it confused me so incredibly much." She looked away a bit at the confession. "But it felt right, and--"
"So it was," Kagome finished, the short grin still on her face.
"And what about you?"
"And what about me?" Kagome asked, slightly confused.
"You love him as well..." Kikyou said, trailing off.
Kagome didn't respond.
They both eyed each other for a short while, pondering about reality, destiny, and all the things in-between - and then Kikyou said in a soft voice, "What is meant to be shall always find its way..."
"And I'm sure it will," the other responded lightly, without hesitation.
"Well, then I suppose...we'll just see, won't we?" Kikyou smiled mysteriously, then turned around.
"Yeah, I guess we will." Kagome beamed, standing still in her spot as she watching Kikyou glide away, leaving an aura of secrecy in the air.
The two different beings who shared the same soul that were so much alike and yet so drastically different, had finally come to an understanding.
Finish.