Chapter 2: Inspection

This was a place he'd never been before. This was a long, straight road, going further and further into the distance. He could not see the point of why he was walking down this tree-lined path. It just seemed like he should continue down it until he reached something. What, he could not tell. When, he did not guess…

--

House hobbled over to the snoozing Chase. In his sleep, his brow was furrowed in confusion, thought, whatever blondes dream of while asleep. He looked at him again, wondering whether to wake him up or not. Something on the table caught his attention. A note:

Off to draw cultures and change the I.V. bag. Chase is feeling nauseous, threw up in the sink. Don't worry, Cameron cleaned it up. Back in 30 mins.

E.F.

"Cameron cleaned the sink up. Thoughtful girl, eh?" House said to the sleeping Intensivist. What Foreman's note said seemed to be true; the sink area of the diagnostics lounge smelt of disinfectant.

Cuddy was probably installing a new homing device on him today; maybe he should get started on inspecting Chase. Plus, as he was sleeping, it'd be easier to examine him. And it could annoy the hell out of him later.

First, the simple one-over: Shoes were off, sign of comfort seeking or swollen feet. Loose belt, yet again, comfort or weight gain. The vomiting, Occam's razor would say that it was just an upset stomach. Probably just a normal case of food poisoning. Nothing much sleeping over, time to wake him up.

"Oh my God! Chase, there's a crazed dog running through the ward, and wombat claws are needed to build a booby trap hole! Come on, get up!"

All he got in return was a grunt and a general stir. This one wouldn't go down without a fight.

"HEY!" House yelled while poking his cane into the blonde's leg. That worked a fair bit.

Chase half-opened his eyes and looked at House in a sleepy daze. "Why…are…you…fine." he said thickly, sitting upright.

"Your accent is a hell of a lot stronger when you're tired." House commented, "Almost cute."

"Yeah, and your cane really sets off your eyes." Chase replied sarcastically.

"Well, duh…were you feeling abdominal pain when you…"House trailed off as the wicked with walked in.

"Dr. House, I have a proposition. Seeing as you are far too busy to fill out evaluation forms-"

"Damn, I thought that the Secretary Fairy was onto that-"

"So, to assist you with your work, I have for you two new employees. " Cuddy finished.

In walked the two new ducklings. One was a flat-chested, part-something woman who was wearing a slip-on dress and light green stockings. She was wearing a beady belt and had her curly, (chunked auburn) red hair in a bun, which was covered by a red plastic coil thing with a thick red hairpin holding it in place. House also spotted a little nose piercing in the shape of a pink rose on her right nostril.

The other duckling was wearing skinny black pants a knee-length, a lacy black skirt and a blue V-lined shirt. Her hair was white blonde and, to House's joy, may have had slightly bigger vintage than Cameron. This was only drawn attention to by the butterfly brooch on her cleavage.

The curly-haired girl was rather short and frail, like an old lady; the white blonde was tall (maybe taller than House, even without the heels) and hourglass-like. However, looking at her pale eyes, he thought she could be an albino.

"This is Dr. Meri Idnax," Cuddy said while gesturing to the smaller woman.

"She has a degree in cardiology, and this," she added while pointing at the albino "Is Dr. Elaine Racknell, an expert in gastrology. They will be under your supervision for the next eight months. By the end of that period, it will be your choice of whether you want to keep them or not."

"You're making this sound like an adoption program." He remarked sarcastically.

"Not my problem. Clinic in one hour or bust." Cuddy said, turning on her heel. Damn, Wilson was right; she'd cottoned on and worn a mildly baggy sweater. "'It's cold', my ass." House thought.

The Head of Diagnostics looked at Idnax and Racknell. Racknell was staring at him, as if waiting for him to bite back. Idnax, however, was forcing a half-smile. This was going to be interesting.

"Good morning, Meri and Elaine. God, those names are far too perky for your personalities, I'll call you by your surnames. Get used to it; my other bitches did. Chase, go see what cool drugs Liaison Patient might be taking."

Chase obediently walked past the two and flashed a small smile, right before snapping back into the seedy-looking grimace.

"See? He responds to his surname, I expect the same from you. Now, my office, what's good about it? Um, over there's the whiteboard, that's where we write all our cool little hunches and whatever's screwing up our patient. Over to the north-east, we have our mini-kitchen. We're out of coffee at the moment, so don't get any ideas. Sitting arrangements? Sit anywhere, except the ceiling; I don't want any broken necks. Favourism order? Cameron's first, because she's the only one who uses coasters, then Chase, the blonde thingy that just walked out, because his ass can be grabbed easily. Foreman's last because he makes stains and will kick you ass if you grab his. Oh, and he didn't pass me my cane once, so, yeah. Got any questions?" House said as he turned around to the women again.

Racknell was the first to speak, "Dr. House. Pleased to be working for you, or being your bitch, as it may be. All I ask of you is that my surname doesn't come into contact with jokes about breasts. Oh, and albinism; yes, I am and albino, so what?"

Hmm, this one wanted to be seen as though tough to crack. "Well, if that's the case for our chesty albino, then that's the way it'll go. Or not." He thought to himself again.

"Well, she made her opening statement. What's yours?" he turned to ask Idnax.

"Um, well, thanks for not calling me by my first name. Never liked it anyway. I just don't find the clinic very inspiring, I don't know if that'll be a problem or not." Idnax said shakily.

"Remind me to send you as often as possible." House mused. Hang on, her accent was vaguely familiar.

"Are you, by any chance, Australian?" House asked.

"No, as a matter of fact, I'm Welsh-American. The yank vocal cords never rubbed off on me."

"Stiiiill, it sounds Adelaide-born…"

"Enough. She said she's Welsh, do we have to put up with this crap?" Racknell interrupted.

"Something tells me you're not going to be too happy, eh?"

"Bite me."

--

Author's Note/s: That's the end of chapter 2! Well, all I can say at the moment is that I hope my trusty reviewers are still that, trusty.