A/N: Alright, I am ashamed of myself for that incredibly short last chapter! I tried to make it longer than it is, but nooo! Stupid inferior creativity…oh, well. This one shall be longer, and then I'm going to go to my writing corner and work on finishing off chapter 6, and write some stuff down before the computer comes back around and bites me on the arse. Random title, no? Read on to find out why I chose the Random Side…
P.S: Thanks to vanillafluffy for pointing out my stupid mistake. However, I shall not hit my head, not just yet… The babbling will stop now. Carry on.
Chapter 4: Tomato
The other four ducklings, growing suspicious of House and Chase's whereabouts, had just begun a search party of their own. While turning the corner with Racknell, he'd heard House calling out for help.
"Great, what's he done this time?" Foreman wondered to himself.
"'Brit with a rising BP'…Oh My God, is that Chase?" Racknell asked to the now racing Foreman.
"Yeah, but don't call him that unless you can run fast!"
"Why!"
"Because he's Australian!"
"Oh, alright then!" Racknell called back.
Foreman pushed open the bathroom door to see House standing over his 'lapdog'. Raising his eyebrows, House answered the pending question.
"He was at a usual state of freakiness a minute ago, and now, this." He explained, pointing towards the unconscious Chase on the floor.
Med school hadn't been for nothing. Foreman went back towards the nurses station to call for help.
"Two of you, need a gurney in the men's room!" he called out before grabbing the attention of Cameron and Idnax.
Cameron and Idnax followed suit, soon being tagged by two identical-looking, light brown haired, tall, skinny nurses pulling a gurney behind them.
"Oh, God…" Cameron muttered under her breath.
"'Oh, God'. Get him onto the damn gurney!" House cried.
Obediently, Idnax and Racknell leant over Chase's torso and picked him up from there. Cameron reached for his legs and the three gracefully dumped him onto the gurney.
--
A few hours later, Chase had been admitted to the ICU. The clone-like nurses and the other ducklings had been spending their time trying to make sure that Chase wouldn't keel over just yet, not until they could find out what had caused the elevated BP and O2 stats.
House, however, was being evasive, as usual. He and Wilson had been having lunch in the Oncology lounge.
"Heard anything about him?" Wilson asked in an attempt to keep a conversation buoyant.
"Him? His Infernal Majesty? Not since love said no."
"You know what I'm talking about."
"You need some hot stuff baby this evening?"
"No…"
"Wanna be forever young?"
"No…"
"Well, tonight for the first time, just about half past ten…"
"HOUSE!" Wilson, and Cuddy, who had just come to the door yelled.
"I'm sorry they can't be..."
"You'd better do some fast talking about why you're slacking off again!"
House took a deep breath, then began talking three times faster than normal:
"Okay! Wilson, despite having some sort of stress problem, which we don't know the cause of, he's fine. Cuddy, I was in the clinic…for forty-five minutes-"
"Alright, then! Well, be aware that there are several blood tests that need to be done now." Cuddy interrupted while passing the most annoying doctor in the hospital a file.
"Wilson, if House comes in here again-"
"Cuddy, you've missed someone's blood that needs to be tested."
--
Walking down the hall, taking his time, popping Vicodin, House tried to explain to the last person that their blood test might come back positive with something. While taking the walk down to the lab, a new, female voice came up behind him.
"Excuse me, can I see my boyfriend now?" the voice demanded.
House turned around.
Yes, another new set of fun bags, but one would have to bend his neck downwards to look at her face-to-face. Her skin was dark, but not like Foreman's. Mexican, the senorita seemed to be. For someone glued to her wedges, swinging her black hair-highlighted with red- stare at you with dark brown eyes and not give a damn that her belly-button piercing was on full display from under her halter top, she was doing a damn good job at getting a man's attention. However, some men might not see stacked-on hips as such an attractive thing.
House stared at the girl, then at (sleeping) Chase's room, then at the girl again, and answered:
"You? With him? In there? Not until I get my money's worth."
"Ha ha ha. Dr. House, by any chance? Robert's told me about you. Described as a limping, pain-problem asshole."
"If that's House you're talking about, wrong doctor. I heard he was a lovely fellow…"
"Can I see my boyfriend now?"
"Whoa! Your boyfriend! Quiz first, boyfriend second. Question the first: Name?"
She sighed before answering, "Odessa Nombre. Most call me Pip, a nickname my 'friend' made up in high school because I had the physique of a tomato back then. When I got my belly pierced, it was my only visible 'pip'…"
"Lovely little story. Are you having sex with him?'
"It's not any of your business, but yeah, damn good sex too."
"How long has he been going out with you?"
"Five months."
"What's he like in the morning?"
"Before or after our sex?"
"Doesn't matter, answer the damn question."
"Well, he's been feeling sick and all. Really sick, and he looks like crap, but only in the morning? He really should be losing some pounds from all of this, but he's been putting weight on, around the hips. And then, he's all fine and happy by the end of the day. Oh, and he's been hitting the sack earlier too. Is that all you need to know?"
"Yeah, thanks Pippito."
"Pip, whatever. Now can I go in?"
"Yeah, go. Thank you for that information. Oh, and your skirt's tucked into you thong."
Pip gaped at him for a minute, but before she could reach for her hemline, someone was pulling the old 'Shock 'em and Swab 'em' trick.
"Thanks again. Your STD results'll be back tomorrow."
--
Finally, before Cuddy could catch him missing out on lab tests again, he'd made it down there. He could tell she was approaching, so he made an attempt to look busy. Only this time, he was.
"Hey, Cuddy, come and look at this."
Tap, tap, tap of heels echoed against the linoleum floor. She peered over at the latest blood test results in boredom.
"Congratulations. Your lesion patient is expecting."
"No, can't be."
"With those hormone levels? That's an enceinte woman."
"Refer to what I said last."
"House, look; why do you need a consult? That's a perfectly normal pregnancy…"
"Do you forget that Ms. Santal is fifty-three and has had a hysterectomy?"
"Well, sorry! Okay, so another one of your twenty-something patients is pregnant…"
"Did you know that chain you have your pet hamster of a diamond goes nicely with your blouse? Come to think of it, the blouse goes well with your bra, which goes well with your-"
"HOUSE!"
"Sorry, distractions."
"Why do I even need to suggest a differential diagnosis?"
"Have you even seen who the patient is?" House mentioned smugly, passing her the full test results. Her look changed from anger to disbelief.
"Oh my God…"
"Yeah, impressive, huh?"
"That's impossible, how could…"
"I know, just lemme go tell...and, maybe grab some coffee and Ativan, too." House said on the way out.
A/N: Woo, aren't I evil? Okay, it's starting to smell like burnt toast now, and I've dropped a pretty big clue into it now. However, maybe I'll pull a Desperate Housewives on you. Now THAT would be evil! Toodles.