Author's Note: And here we are! At the bitter end. Once again, I'd like to thank my reviewers. You guys are all darlings and I appreciate every bit of it. We're definitely hitting full AU here, since season 13 really doesn't look like this. (; But that's okay. Anyway, there's not much to say—the chapter pretty much speaks for itself. So, here she be.
Disclaimer: Chapter 1 is where it's at!

Three Steps Backward
by, Caliente

Chapter 4: The Beginning

The nurses at County General were famous for their gossip. Somehow, they always seemed to know all the little things that were happening. The inner workings of the hospital could almost always be found out by hanging around the admit desk long enough. Didn't matter how secret something was supposed to be—if the nurses knew, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the hospital was informed, too.

"Carter was here?" Chuny was questioning Malik and Frank as Neela arrived at the admit desk with some charts. She'd heard that one herself.

"Yeah. Guess one of those Sudanese leeches needed something done right for a change," Frank responded gruffly, causing Neela to roll her eyes at the chart on her flu patient. "Heard he's thinking about throwing some kind of bash for his ex-coworkers while they're in town."

Neela's eyes darted up, eyebrows raising lightly. Well, that was new. "Where?" Malik asked curiously. "His grandmother's place? I heard that place is pimped out!"

"Pimped out?" Frank repeated. "What is that, some Ebonics crap?"

Malik glared. Chuny looked highly offended. Haleh, who had just joined the trio, did both. "You want a lawsuit, don't you?" she questioned icily. "A big one might let me retire in style, too."

Frank ignored them, continuing as if he hadn't been interrupted at all. "I guess it's just supposed to be a 'friendly affair' or something. Maybe a going away party for Barnett, too." All three nurses' eyes widened and Chuny elbowed Frank in the gut. "Ow! What the f—?"She nodded her head toward Neela who had been hidden by Malik and he grimaced. "Is that the, uh, fax machine?" he asked suddenly, busying himself on the other side of the desk.

Haleh, Chuny, and Malik shared a look before each scurried off to each of their respective patients, the last of the group patting her on the shoulder as he went. Neela rubbed her eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long shift if she had to put up with this crap the whole time. Glancing at the clock, she was surprised to see that her shift was actually almost over. Blinking twice, she decided that living on coffee, beer and chocolate was starting to mess with her mind.

"Frank, could you please call Radiology and tell them I've been waiting on Mr. Pierce's x-rays for over an hour," she asked, ignoring their previous topic. He didn't respond. "Frank?" Nothing. "Frank!"

The older man jumped slightly. "What?" Then he looked at her. "Oh, it's you."

Neela frowned. "Call Radiology."

Rolling his eyes, Frank crossed his arms. "Do I look like the operator to you?"

"Frank!" Neela snapped, annoyed.

"Fine, fine. Jeez." He headed toward the phones, shaking his head. "You don't have to get your panties in a twist."

Making a noise of disgust, Neela grabbed a chart and quickly moved out of the admit area before she made Frank their latest patient. "Honestly!" she muttered to herself, lip curling with disgust. "That man is so—so—" She was cut off when her shoulder clipped another body and she dropped her chart. Dropping into a crouch, she reached to grab it, but the person she bumped beat her to it. She looked up to see who it was, and her jaw went slack. "—aggravating." Neela blinked. "I mean—Ray!" She winced slightly. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."

Ray stood, offering his hand to help her up. She ignored him and stood on her own. "Don't sweat it," he replied, keeping the disappointment out of his voice. "I, uhm… yeah." Scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, he offered her the chart back and she took it gratefully. "Well, uh, patients to see." He nodded lightly toward her before headed off.

Watching him go, Neela opened her mouth to say something, and then promptly clamped it shut again. What else was there to say? Glancing at her chart with a sad expression on her face, she headed off toward Curtain 1. The point would be moot soon enough, anyway.

For not the first time that night, Ray asked himself what the hell he was doing. He didn't belong there, celebrating with Carter and Dakarai and the ER staff in the swanky 'Carter Family Home'. He didn't want all the attention from his coworkers. Mostly, though, he didn't want to see Neela. So, nursing a beer, he wandered out toward the backyard, offering half-hearted waves and smiles to his various well-wishers.

"Hey," he heard a quiet voice greet from behind him. Turning slowly, he found himself looking at the one person he'd been avoiding all night. "I thought it was you."

Taking a swig of his beer, he sat away from her on a stone bench in front of the well-lit pool area. "Hey," he responded unenthusiastically. "What's up?"

It was about this time that Neela questioned the wisdom of seeking him out in the first place. But she knew Luka was right—she couldn't let herself be ruled by the guilt. She'd made her peace with Michael; it was time to do the same with Ray. Narrowing her eyes with renewed focus, she studied the man before her. He looked so… defeated. It hurt her to see him this way. "Nothing, I just…I didn't want you to leave with things… like this between us." She looked at him hopefully. "We're still friends, right?"

A snort escaped before Ray could stop it. He grimaced lightly. "Friends?" he repeated, the sarcasm practically palpable as he shook his head softly. "Right."

"Ray, I'm serious," she insisted, tone betraying the annoyance she was already feeling.

Ray rolled his eyes and drank his beer. "You're always serious, Neela."

Opening her mouth to object, Neela was suddenly struck by something else entirely. "Did you mean it?" she asked in an accusing tone.

A confused expression on his face, he blinked at her a few times. "Mean what?"

"When you said… do you really wish you didn't…" She struggled to find the words, but they eluded her. "…about me?" The defeated look returned and Ray was about to take another swig of beer when her hand grabbed his wrist to stop him, her eyes pleading with his. "Please, just… did you?"

Ray grimaced. "Does it matter?"

A sad look on her face, Neela sighed lightly. "It matters to me." Her voice wasn't particularly strong or commanding, but it still managed to say everything her words didn't.

Running a hand down his face, Ray let out his own sigh. "If it meant keeping you in my life? Yeah…" he nodded lightly. "I'd give it up a thousand times over." Dropping his wrist, she nodded, and turned to leave. He was quick to stand, grabbing her arm to stop her. "But if I was going to lose you anyway," he continued, eyes boring holes through her, "I wouldn't change a second of it."

Her lips formed a small 'o' shape as she turned to face him completely. Eyes locked, the distance between them was slowly shrinking. Neela finally tore her eyes away, ducking her head slightly. "I don't want you to leave," she whispered, ignoring the tears pricking at the sides of her eyes. "You're the best friend I've ever had."

"Hey," he used one hand to gently lift her chin, while the other wrapped around her waist. "That's my line." He smiled down at her and she found herself smiling back. A single tear rolled down her cheek and Ray gently wiped it away with his thumb.

Neither of them was sure how long they stood there, but all too soon the sounds of reality came rushing back. "We're missing the party," Neela commented, a sad smile on her face.

Ray leaned down, kissing her gently on the forehead. "So we miss it," he replied lightly, a smirk playing on his face.

Swatting at him, Neela felt the sadness lift from her face. "Still," she said with a resigned look on her face. "We should go back. Wouldn't want any nasty rumors getting spread about us, now would we?"

A pained look crossed Ray's face and he frowned. "Heard that one, huh?"

"Yep."

Anger replaced the frown. "Man, that's such bullshit! I told those guys—"

Neela laughed, placing a hand on his arm. "Relax, Ray. It's not a big deal. Besides…"

"Besides nothing," Ray cut in, a firm look on his face. "Looks like I'll have to stick around to defend your honor a bit longer."

It was Neela's turn to snort, though she couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Yeah?"

Ray nodded. "Yeah. Hey, know anyone looking for a roommate? I already signed my lease over to someone else…"

Smirking, Neela pretended to think about it. "Funny you should mention that, I happen to be in the market now that Abby's moved in with Luka full-time and I've got to pay her entire rent myself…" She took a small step back and offered her hand. "Roommates?"

"I don't know…" Neela poked Ray in the side with her free hand and he smiled, giving her hand a shake and winking. "God, I'm going to regret this."

Neela rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut up." But she didn't let go of his hand. Instead, she started leading him back toward the party. "Think it's about time this 'Farewell' party turned into a 'Welcome Back' one, don't you?"

Tugging on her arm so she spun back to face him, Ray smiled down at Neela. "Not just yet." He leaned down and gently kissed her, smoothly moving her hand from awkwardly holding his right to comfortably clasped with his left. "Okay, now we can go."

A small punch hit him square in the shoulder. "Wanker."

"But of course." He smirked. "Would you have it any other way?"

Leaning close to him, Neela just smiled in response.

And that was all she wrote! Thanks for sticking with me. And, if you enjoyed it, be sure and lemme know. (: Thanks again, guys!