Chapter 16: Party
"Oh, my God." Pip speculated.
"Sorry, could someone tell me how the HELL water can break, let alone with him!" Angela asked with rising confusion.
"You might learn some more if you shut up and listened to the ones with the medical degrees." House snapped at her. "Well, Chase. Gonna explain it? I'm assuming you did do Wilson's homework."
Chase snapped out of blinking in shock at his feet, and began to explain it to Angela. "Well, it's quite odd, really. I've got a disorder called Hippocampus Syndrome that allows me to conceive. Only found out about it six months ago that I had it, so it was hard to prevent this from happening." He paused for a moment, rolling his eyes at himself.
"Good, but Conception and Pregnancy are the first two stages of life. They're boring; Stage Three's much more cool and gory." House said, nodding back to Chase.
"So now, thanks to all of this, I've got an opening, which in several hours time a baby's gonna come out of." He finished explaining, blushing and turning back to his feet.
Angela stared like she'd seen been asked the square root of a Dali painting.
"Damn, why must I explain these things?" House thought.
"You saw Alien?"
Angela thought about that one. She'd watched it once at friend's house in the eighties, but was only interested in the part where-
"Out your gut! You're gonna have a baby out your gut!"
"Ding ding ding! Would you like to go for six hundred?" House triumphantly beamed.
"Could you speak a little louder, Ella? I'm sure there are some people in Detroit that didn't quite hear you then." Pip mumbled.
"Right, so what's our plan of action?" House asked, swivelling around on his cane to turn to Chase.
"Plan of action was to get checked in privately in six days time, have a C-section and-"
"-so much for plan A. Now, how 'bout my plan? I say we take the bike back to my place, grab a hot midwife and her assistant, and watch porn until you drop it like it's hot."
Chase's blue-green eyes widened underneath a fine curtain of shaggy blonde hair that was long overdue for a trim.
"Your house?"
"Well, yeah. Your apartment doesn't allow that many visitors, the delivery ward would be a dead giveaway-"
"Why can't it just be a private room?"
"-On the other hand, you've got a point. Maybe blondes aren't that dumb after all."
"I have another brain inside me, remember?"
House paused for a moment, and then wagged a finger at Chase "Good point there. I'm going to dance for Cuddy, and we'll sort something out."
Chase brushed the curtain of blonde back and looked House in the electric blue eye, "Why are you doing this? You're never nice to me."
House looked back at a currently cerulean eye, "Because this is not normal, Chase. This is not biologically normal, this is not going to be a normal day and this will not be a normal experience for any of us, and it certainly won't be normal for you. It's going to be bloody, dirty and humiliating, but, hey. That's birth for you."
Quietly, he nodded as he watched House take a Vicodin. Then doubled over, nearly falling over a chair.
"Whoa! Hang in there; we're getting you a room right now. You two, go back to his place and get his bag."
--
House had stuck to his word. Ten minutes after the promise had been made, Chase was whisked away into a private room, all cleaned up from the fluid and little bit of blood that had seeped out. The only people who were permitted to go into his room were House, Wilson, Cuddy, the other ducklings, the two "pouters" (as House nicknamed them) and two nurses: Brenda, and her personal ass-kisser, Martine.
Now, the boys were sitting around, waiting for House's plan of action.
"Right, since Thanksgiving's in eight days time, plus the fact that Robert's parent's are out of town, we're gonna have a party up in the private ward. The girls have gone over to try and help him get ready. You know the ones; the cheerleaders, the book worms, and those two dykes who kissed at the prom."
He watched the looks on their faces in an attempt to work out who he was talking about. When everybody else's faces were straight again, he continued,
"Okay, so they're doing their thing, the cheerleaders are prepping him, you know, hair…and the rest are there for moral and medical support. We, as good friends, have our own jobs to do. The nerd and I over there," he said, pointing to Wilson, "Are going to get all necessary food supplies. The delinquent," pointing at Foreman "might be good enough to keep any gatecrashers away, along with the help of the class president, you know, the untouchable one with the chest."
More confusion appeared on their faces, but disappeared again one they thought they got the gist of it.
"Now, Chase is supplying the music, he will be, all night long. However, he needs to keep in mind that if we play the music too loudly, neighbours might hear us, and will report back to the gate crashers. Besides that, have a great party tonight."
A/N: Right, there we go. I hope that metaphorical speech just then didn't confuse you too much. The good stuff comes next…